Chapter 52: His View

This is a retelling of chapter 51 from Alistair's perspective. Thanks, Liso66! After your review, I had to do this!

Although the day was relatively easy, it was long. The group had said their goodbyes to everyone at the Dalish camp which had seemed almost interminable, but necessary. Alistair realized the Dalish were very important allies in the fight against the Blight, and it was very important that the bonds formed during their stay remained strong. When they finally mounted and started the day's ride, Aeden kept the group moving for as long as he could, wanting to go as far as possible now that the days were getting shorter.

When Aeden finally decided to set up camp for the night, Alistair was relieved. He was tired, and he wanted to be able to relax. It was difficult to talk to anyone when they were riding so hard, and he wanted to be able to talk to Delia. He couldn't believe how lucky he was now that he was actually betrothed to the woman he loved! He helped set up the camp while Aeden took Trent and Dusty hunting. A large fire was soon blazing warmly and he decided he could finally sit.

Aeden and Trent returned to the camp with several rabbits that they quickly dressed and started in a stew. As it cooked, Zevran joined them and brought a bottle of Antivan brandy gifted to him by the Dalish keeper, Lanaya. The men were enjoying the feel of the strong alcohol in their mouths while they joked among themselves. Alistair felt peaceful. It was nice to relax, sharing a drink with his friends, and Delia wasn't far away. She was sitting outside of her tent, mending one of her tunics. Alistair watched her as she rhythmically moved the needle, mesmerized that what was such an ordinary task seemed so extraordinary when Delia was doing it, when he noticed Wynne walk over to her.

Wynne took a seat with Delia after his love had obviously invited her to join her. The two seemed to happily start conversing, and he looked back to his friends at the fire. After several minutes he looked back toward Delia, but her face was no longer calm. Instead her face radiated confusion and pain, and Wynne looked harsh and angry.

Suddenly he watched as Wynne shook her head and said something with a firm and irritated tone. She stood and smoothed her robe, and then as she said something else in an indignant manner she walked away. Delia was obviously crying as she set her mending down and ran off. Alistair wasn't the only one at the fire to notice, and as he looked at his companions, they all nodded at him.

"You'd best find out what's going on, lad." Trent motioned toward the retreating Delia. "She needs you."

Alistair nodded and jogged after Delia. He followed her to the horse enclosure, where he found her sobbing into her horse's neck trying to stifle her sobs.

"Delia? Love, what's wrong?" Alistair came behind her and put his hands on her waist.

Delia turned around and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face into his chest. "It's nothing, really… just a conversation I had with Wynne."

He pushed her just far enough from him so he could look into her eyes. "What in the Maker's name did she say to you, to get you so upset?"

"She feels that it is selfish for me to be betrothed to you, that I am playing games with your love for me and that I will hurt you. My parentage will hurt you in the Landsmeet. She thinks that you are some sort of novelty to me and that I will abandon you." Her eyes showed her great pain at that last sentence, and she placed her hand on his cheek. "I will never abandon you, Alistair. I will never leave your side unless fate forces me in some way. I love you and only you… there has never been anyone else, nor will there ever be."

He held back his anger at the mage that wanted to explode from his chest and instead kissed her gently on her forehead. "Delia, I love you and only you. You are the only woman I could possibly ever want or need. Don't listen to Wynne. She means well, but…"

"But there are things she said that make sense. You have to attend to your duty… to Ferelden. I can't impede on that. Maybe she's right. Maybe we shouldn't marry…"

He grasped her shoulders firmly. "Don't say that. You give me strength, Delia. I believe the Maker himself sent you to me. How else can you explain all the coincidences that brought us together? I honestly don't believe I can be an effective king without you at my side. I'm going to speak to Wynne. She needs to keep her nose out of our business."

He gave her a gentle kiss, and then walked briskly toward Wynne's tent. He needed to formulate in his head exactly what he would say to the elder mage before he arrived there. After all, he respected the woman a great deal, and she had become almost a surrogate grandmother to him. On the other hand, she had no right to interfere with his life. It seemed as if everyone thought he was some sort of blithering idiot who couldn't make any decisions for himself!

He arrived at Wynne's tent to find her sitting outside organizing her herbs.

"Wynne, may I speak with you for a moment?"

She looked up at him and smiled warmly. "Of course, Alistair. Please take a seat."

He sat across from her and ran his hand through his hair nervously. After taking a deep breath, he spoke from his heart.

"I understand you had a… talk with Delia, about our betrothal. May I ask what it is you said to her that made her so upset?"

Wynne shrugged. "She had no reason to be upset. I merely told her my opinion and asked her to think about exactly what it is the two of you are doing."

Alistair stiffened. "Yes, you told her that I am some sort of a novelty to her and she will inevitably leave me once I have lost my luster, so to speak."

"Well, yes. She has quite a bit more experience with people than you do, and your naiveté will get you hurt." She said it with a certainty that made him all the angrier.

"Yes, Wynne, I am more aware than anyone in this little camp of ours just how naïve I truly am. It isn't like I chose to be presented with the life I have lived, but we all have to make do with whatever life the Maker has given to us. Actually, because of how incredibly gullible I am I would think you would be the first to agree that having someone like Delia on my side would be an incredible asset. Not only does she actually care for me, but she has a gift that would help me see who I can trust and who I can't. Now why didn't I think of what a shrewd woman she is to take advantage of someone as simple as I am? Oh, perhaps it's because she has nearly as little experience as I do when it comes to the opposite sex? Perhaps because we've been through so much together already? Perhaps because I truly believe that she loves me, unlike anyone else who has ever been a part of my life?"

Wynne frowned. She wasn't used to being spoken to in such a sarcastic and cutting manner. "You are making it sound as if I have no respect for you, Alistair. I assure you…"

"No, Wynne, you have made it perfectly clear that you believe I do not know what is best for me. Let me now make myself perfectly clear. Before I asked Delia to marry me, I spent a great deal of time thinking about what would be best for me. Yes, it was an incredibly selfish decision on my part. I cannot see myself living my life without her. However, most of the reasons in favor of her being my wife are because of the duty I have for Ferelden. Once I am put forward as king, I realize there will be certain… expectations of me."

Alistair stood up and began to pace in front of the mage, his hands entwined behind his back. "As king, I will be expected to marry a Fereldan noble woman. Delia is a Fereldan noble woman. Yes, her father is despised, but her grandfather was a hero in the War of Orlais and was greatly respected. Along with taking a wife, I will be expected to… procreate. Not an easy topic for me, as you can understand," he blurted as he blushed, "but to be able to… perform that duty would be far easier with a woman I love and trust. To put any old noble woman at my side as my wife I would always worry about whether she would be looking to betray me in one of any number of ways. There have been queens who have killed their husbands, after all. Delia loves me and would protect me. She has already proven that."

"I will need to have trusted advisors. As you have reminded me so well, I have led a very sheltered life. I will need advisors who know politics, religion and culture. Delia has been educated in all of those things, and already has proven herself invaluable in forging such a strong alliance with the Dalish. Even you must realize that it was because of her diligence working with the sick in the elven camp that she was able to forge individual friendships and win over the trust of the Dalish people. It wasn't because we helped Zathrian end the curse by allowing his life to end. Who can I trust more – Delia, who loves me and wants me to be successful, or some random advisor who I won't know any better than a random speck of dust?"

He faced her then, and stood with his back straight and his eyes full of determination. "I will need Delia at my side, not only because she makes me stronger, but because she will make Ferelden stronger and safer. The two people I trust the most in this world are Delia and Aeden, and with him in charge of the wardens and watching over the king's security and Delia at my side as my most trusted advisor, I will be able to be the king Ferelden needs so desperately. From now on, if you have any concerns about my decisions, I expect you will come directly to me. Otherwise, keep your opinions to yourself, especially when it comes to my performance of my duties. Do I make myself clear?"

Wynne looked up at him, shocked that the young man would speak to her in such a forceful manner. "Yes, Alistair. You make yourself perfectly clear. I… apologize, to both you and Delia. I didn't realize how much thought you actually put into your decision. I am impressed."

He nodded slightly. "Good. You can apologize to Delia yourself. You owe that to her. Now, if you will excuse me…" He turned on his heel and walked purposefully back to Delia.

Delia saw him as he came closer to her, and she met him halfway, allowing him to enfold her in his arms.

"Delia, no one will stand in our way. I need you to be my wife. I could never trust any other woman as I trust you, and I know that you always have my back. Neither Wynne nor anyone else has a say in my choices, or yours for that matter. You told me once that everyone is out for themselves. Well… I think it's high time that I am out for myself too. If it is selfish for me to want you to marry me, then I will be selfish."

He led her back to the campfire, and they sat with Aeden and Trent. Both men nodded their approval to Alistair as he joined them. Wynne took her meal in her tent, as did most of their group. Delia seemed to be distressed by the tension in the air, and she took her leave of the men early. Aeden and Trent tried to keep the conversation light in order to help their friend unwind, but it was clear that he was worried about Delia and wouldn't be able to completely settle down until he knew all would be fine among his companions. As he took his leave of the two men and entered his own tent for the night, he lay in his bedroll, looking at the ceiling as he prayed to the Maker he had handled the mage firmly enough, but without causing irreparable harm to the warm, near-family atmosphere he had nearly taken for granted.