Ghastly picked the girl group up in his van. "Where's Pegasus?" Valkyrie made a face.

"Pegasus is my van. The stallion. The almighty."

"Horse!" Violet yelled.

"Horse!" Jade shouted.

"Just get in the van, ladies and three gents." Ghastly sighed and Tanith kissed him.

"Thank you, Daddy of my baby. How come you aren't drunk?" She said.

"Don't tell the others but..." Ghastly began.

Jade giggled and got out her phone. Ghastly is preggers? Bit confused rn. Jade xxx and sent it to her contacts. A hundred messages started appearing on her phone straight away.

Congratulations to him! How did that wrk out...Fletch xxx

So confused. So goddamnit confused. Sexy (Dexter)x xx

I'm drunk but congrats Ghast-meister. Tell him congrats. From me xxx

Me was Skul btw. Xxx

Also don't tell anyone I put btw. I am anti-text-talk.

"Honey I'm home!" Ghastly called out as the group of girls, three men and one hot tailor entered Violet and Sanguine's house.

"Hey, honey, Skul's Rapping Rainbow cocktails are to die for." Erskine said in a gayish voice then he saw the others and coughed. "I mean. They're manly. Very manly. Hey Elizabeth." He said in a deep voice.

"I want a Rapping Rainbow." Susie stepped forward, smiling and wrapping a blonde tendril of hair round her finger. Elizabeth glared at her and joined the Hate-Susie-Light Club (HSL club).

"Hey darlin'," Sanguine came from the toilet and Fletcher followed him, grinning.

"What were you two doing in there?" Violet asked suspiciously.

"Bonding." Fletcher said.

"He wouldn't stop following me. And I had to piss."

"Charming." Jade laughed. Then squeaked slightly. "Violet," she said in her rubbish fake French accent, "my petit filous, the, ah, dickheade is 'ere."

"Ah, which one?" Violet replied.

"The one that I broke up weev." Jade said. Anton waved awkwardly at them. "Hi gang."

"Hello Anton." Susie smiled then her phone rang. "Damn, its my fiancee. I'll just take this call."

"She's married?" Erskine pulled a face. "Why's everyone married? Clarabelle and Violet are engaged. Skul and China are, um, ya know, friends. Valkyrie and Fletcher are, the um, same age, and at a great time in their relationship to possibly date sometime soon? Dexter and Saracen. Jade and - her lovers. Anton and his lovers. Elizabeth..."

"I'm single." Elizabeth muttered and he grinned.

"Finally! Someone is single! High five, sister!"

"High five? Sister?" She pulled a face. Jade just glared at him. Then everyone trooped into the living room, apart from Jade and Anton.

"I don't have 'lovers'. Just so you know." Anton said, blushing.

"I don't either. Erskine's just a bit-"

"Gay?"

"I was gonna say Skullish at times. But that works too."

"Ha." There was a brief silence before Anton spoke up again. "What does Skullish mean?"

"Generally awkward and over the top."

"Like our very own resident skeleton."

"Well done."

"Thanks." Anton coughed a couple of times. "Um. I miss you, Jade."

"Anton." She closed her eyes in frustration.

"I love you and I know you love me too, Jade. Can't we just be together? I want to marry you and have your babies and be your life companion for another thousand years. Marry me?" Anton suddenly got down on one knee.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jade hissed.

"Marry me!"

"No."

"Marry me!"

"Fuck off."

"Marry me, Jade."

"We're not even dating."

"Jade, marry me."

"No. I can't marry you."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Jade looked around for an excuse and saw the gang stood at the doorway, staring at them. "I don't love you! I never did!"

"That's not true, Jade. You publicly announced on twitter that you did."

"Well. I can't marry you. Because I don't want to. I don't want to settle down yet. I'm meant to be a free and single girl. I don't want to marry you! I am fucking not marrying you! I say no! No!"

"Right. Well. I'm going to get pissed off my head. If you guys want to join me, I'll be in the kitchen, drinking all the alcohol I can find." Anton wandered off and Jade ran upstairs to cry alone.

Meanwhile...

Susie pressed the accept button and held the phone to her ear.

"Hi, it's Susie Light speaking." She said brightly.

"Susie? Where are you? It's Linton. Your fiance?" Linton's angry voice snapped through the phone.

"Oh, Linton, hi. I'm just a friend's party. She's getting married on Saturday."

"A friend?"

"Violet Halliwell? She's marrying Billy-Ray Sanguine."

"The hot girl. She's engaged? Damn." Linton said and Susie felt a flash of irritation. How dare he act so disappointed that another woman was engaged in front of his fiancee!

"Yes she's engaged. I'm disappointed too. Her fiance is really nice. So are her friends. Especially the Grand Mage, the hotel owner and the cute Teleporter."

"You have high standards, Susie."

"Oh, no they're pretty low. I got engaged to you, didn't I?"

There was a sound of static then Linton's voice came back, "okay, I deserved that but Susie, why don't you tell me these things?"

"Fine." She ended the call and brought up her text messages.

Linton, I'm at a friend's party. Won't be back till later and will be .v drunk. Love from Susie xoxox

Oh haha very funny. Linton

:) I know. I'm hilarious. Susie xoxox

She turned her phone off and smiled. Time to seduce some men.

)(()()()()()()()())()()

"Never have I ever...kissed a girl." Elizabeth said and everyone drunk even the girls. Except Susie. Tanith and Valkyrie shrugged.

"Dexter dared us to." Tanith said and Dexter winked.

"BS. Before Saracen." He added.

"Okay. Never have I ever..." Susie thought for a second, "cheated on someone I loved.". Guilty faces were all around. Only Skulduggery and Elizabeth didn't drink.

"Who did you cheat on?" Violet asked Sanguine.

"Someone before your time, honey. In 1920."

"Okay. Skulduggery, your go."

"Never have I ever...betrayed Jade." He raised his facade eyebrow and Jade blushed. She, Elizabeth and Susie didn't drink. Dexter reluctantly gulped his drink down.

"I spilt ice cream down your favourite dress and told you that you did it when you were drunk." He admitted. Jade stared at Susie.

"Susie, sweetie, I think that, right now, you'd better drink." She said sweetly.

"What did I do?" Susie said. Jade glanced at Anton.

"Truffles. From someone. I loved. Past tense." She said and Anton clenched his teeth. "It's my go anyway." Jade stared directly at Anton and said, "never have I ever actually got serious, properly, with a man." Anton glared at her. Saracen and Dexter drank, as did all the girls.

"Never got properly serious?" Valkyrie asked her. "Never? Like never got big committed? See him everyday sort of thing?"

"Oh I saw Him everyday but I didn't commit." She snapped and gulped her drink anyway.

"Never have I ever," Ghastly said, "had a child before! Eek! I'm so excited." Skulduggery paused then drank. As did, to everyone's suprise, Erskine.

"My God. I knew it! Erskine has a child. I vote Clarabelle." Tanith squealed.

"It was 1910 and I was drunk. I was in a strange country and bored. And very drunk. So drunk. Then, nine months later, when I was back in Ireland, I got a letter from Henrietta. I write a memo of it in every phone. One minute." Erskine got out his phone and Saracen grabbed it from him.

My dearest Erskine, Saracen read,

I am afraid that I have news that may shock you. Our relations has led to a beautiful baby daughter, I called her Ersketta as a reminder of our love. She has your eyes - gold and glowing. I thank you for all those wonderful moments.

Yours faithfully, Henrietta.

"Fuck me." Dexter grinned.

"No thanks." Erskine said, snatching his phone back.

"So you have a 104 year old daughter called Ersketta with gold eyes. Should be easy to look for." Valkyrie said.

"What? I'm not looking for it. Her." Erskine said. "I'd be a rubbish parent."

"Very true." Fletcher said.

"Oi, I'd be a great parent."

"But you just said..."

"I'm finding Ersketta! Or whatever she called herself now."

"Great." Skulduggery sighed. "Can't wait for that case that you'll palm off onto me."

()()()()()()()()()

"Boys Belter Bar." Jade shook her head in wonder. "A strip club."

"For men and women!" Saracen shook his hips. "Obviously I'll be at the men side with you gals and Dexter but I'm sure Skulduggery wants a lap dance."

"I want a lap dance! It's MY party!" Violet shrieked and snogged Sanguine.

Where r u? Lost u in a maze of glitter and thrusting bods! Also lots of underwear being thrown around! It's very bright+glittery+neon! Help me! Meet me sumwhere! Love Vi xxxxx

Violet staggered around the strip club for a bit then checked her phone again.

Can c u! Am under nearest table! One wiv the 100 shot glasses on! Come under here wiv me! Saw Jade and Anton off tlking. Love Billy xxxxxxx

Violet laughed and slipped under the table, almost banging her head. Sanguine grabbed her hand and kissed her.

"You're so pretty, Vi, I can't believe I'm marrying you, my baby." He murmured.

"I love you too, baby." Violet kissed him back. "Just think, in two days we'll be married."

"Wow."

"I know."

"What were the love birds talking about?"

"I assume their relationship. He did just propose."

"And get rejected."

"Thank God you didn't reject me."

"Thank God you didn't chicken out of proposing to me." Violet smiled at him. "Now, we're at a strip club and I still haven't had a lap dance."

"Such a shame. Maybe we should change that, darlin'." He dragged her out from under the table and sat her down. Then Sanguine, the pure blooded Texan with his hair covered in glitter and a green neon tattoo that she hoped would come off on his cheek, took off his shirt.

"Woooo!" Jade screamed as she came hurtling past. Anton was chasing her through the crowd, laughing loudly.

"Shirtless Sanguine!" Valkyrie yelled and swung round the stripper pole. Skulduggery and Fletcher were throwing money at her. Ghanith had gone home, practicing being parents, and no-one really cared where Susie or Elizabeth had gone since they both made bitchy comments an hour ago. The Gay Couple had gone to a gay nightclub.

Then, over the next hour, Sanguine gave Violet many lap dances and they ended up covered in gold glitter, singing Disney songs and downing Rapping Rainbow cocktails.

Text Messages

Jade: hi, Anton, I was wondering if you knew where my earring was?

Anton: no clue. Sorry.

Jade: it's fine.

Anton: so...last night?

Jade: last night.

Jade: the wedding is tomorrow so we should ya know prepare.

Anton: sure. I'm gonna go prepare then. Talk tomorrow?

Jade: have a great Before-Wedding-Day-Day. Tomorrow.