AN: This was a tough chapter to write, but I ended up liking it. Please stay with me, I know this is sad, but it will eventually cheer up! Chapter dedicated to The Silence by Mayday Parade. Enjoy! ~Rinny

CPOV

March 31st, 2005

I was leaving the next day. I was leaving and I hadn't told my best friend yet. I had always regretted doing this to her, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to break it to her until absolutely necessary. And since that night was the last night, it would have to be then. So I sent the casual text and headed to Charlotte and Woodward Avenue with some Uncle Joe's food in a basket.

I started out jogging to the connecting streets, but near the end I was sprinting. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get there first or to have Allison in the tree when I arrived, I just wanted to see her. Panting, I reached the trunk of the tree. Wiping sweat off my forehead with my hand, I then brought my hand to eyelevel to peer at my watch. My wrist nearly brushed my nose, for I could hardly see the hands of the clock in the dark.

It was about nine when I began to climb the familiar branches, working my way up to the small flat area near the top of the tree. I managed my way through the leaves, the now seeming cumbersome basket still in my palm. Scraping my bare knee on the way there, I finally reached the minuscule space between the branches, only large enough for two. I looked down to my disliking. I wasn't scared of anything, unless the heights were high or the spiders were big. But it was worth it because she was down there.

My fingers slipped into my pocket to feel the folded piece of paper still inside. I smiled, taking it out and placing my hand in the opposite pocket to find a cold metal necklace. It was Allison's of course, and I was returning it to her after she lost it at my house merely days ago. I looked down at the locket in my palm, turning it slightly on its side. I popped the latch with my thumb and the locket broke open.

With Allison only at the base of the tree, I unfolded the paper the slightest bit so only a small piece of the note was visible. The message was written on thin paper, so when folded numerous times, it would tightly fit into the hollow locket. I hoped she wouldn't open it for a few days, maybe even a week. The note was to be read a small while after I had left, mainly because I didn't know how she would react now.

I had planned for her to receive the necklace after I told her. After I unveiled that she wouldn't see her best friend anymore, I would return her necklace, hoping she hadn't already ran off in anger. Allison wasn't far from me, so I slipped the note into the necklace. Allison came in arm's length, so I extended my hand for her to grasp. She smiled, pulling up to the flat space next to me and sitting down.

"So why'd you text me so late, you know besides just to piss me off?" This was it, I thought to myself.

February 21st, 2006

It was a Saturday and I couldn't stand the silence. I was alone in my apartment, bored out of my mind. I had breakfast already and it was that time of the day where it was too early for lunch, but you were hungry never the less. I sighed, going to my computer to pass the time. I sat down at my desk and a pointless smile crept onto my face as I flipped open my laptop. I woke up the computer with the tap of the keyboard. I realized I hadn't used the laptop for quite a while, for the screen was the slightest bit dusty and the connection slow. My desktop loaded and I looked to the right of the screen, noticing a few icons. One standing out, I clicked it. And with the click, my nearly stitched heart broke open once again.

The title was "Note To Allison," so I had wondered why I even clicked on it. I sighed heavily, reading the typed page. I remembered writing it. And then editing it. And then throwing out the whole note and starting over again. I wanted the note to be perfect. So I read it, hoping it was as perfect as I remembered. It read:

"Dear Allison,

I'm really sorry that I had to wait to tell you I was leaving. The truth was that I didn't know how to say it exactly. I bet you're not mad at me. But if you're not, then I have to tell you something. Look, Ally I know we've been such good friends, well until I left. And I know this is terrible to say now, because I'm obviously gone. But here's the deal. Allison, I really like you. And I could take so many more pages to describe this, but I need to keep this short.

So here it is in short detail, Ally. You have my number and I won't change it, even if you don't call. You know, just in case. And I know long distance relationships never seem to work out, and you may want someone you can see on a daily basis. But I really hope you feel the same way. Even if you don't want to go out at all, please call me Ally. You're my best friend no matter what, and I know you would never just keep me hanging like that. I promise not to email you if you don't want me to. So call me if you ever want to talk to me at all. All right, goodbye Alli Gator. I'll miss you.

~Chad Goldfarb."

Tears drew to my eyes. I reread the same sentence again and again. "You're my best friend no matter what and I know you would never leave me hanging like that." What a lie, I thought. I shook my head, shutting the computer at once. This was not going to pass the time, more like slow it down.

I tried to demolish the lump in my throat, but being annoyingly stubborn, it remained. My mind goes to the note, not being able to forget about it now. I thought about how she had never talked to me again. I thought about how the note said that she could be mad. I thought about how she never even told me how she felt, good or bad.

So on that note, tears came tumbling from the corners of my eyes. I realized that this meant she never wanted to see me again. I realized this meant she was mad and she never forgave me, no matter what kind of act she put on the day I left. I realized this meant she hated me, meaning she never had the same feelings as I did. And with that I stood up, fists clenched.

"Get over her! It's been years, Chad! What if she doesn't love you? What if?" The words echoed in my head, my clenched fist becoming tighter.

"Then what are you going to do? She doesn't love you. You left her and if you went back all you'd end up with is seeing her with someone else. Because she's moved on. Why don't you?" Her voice poisoning my somewhat calm mood. My fist flew down to my desk with pure anger and disgust. The words that had ruined me weeks ago now seemed true. Multiple tears were now oozing now both of my usually dry cheeks.

"She doesn't love me." This wasn't a scream or shriek of anger. Instead, it was a whisper. The whisper amplified despair and defeat, unlike the way my co-star had spoke them. And she was gone. After all those years of friendship and memories, every single moment in time came down in flames. After all those years, she couldn't manage a simple "hello" on the phone or even an "I h8 u" text. No matter what she sent me, it would have been better than the silence.

My heart pumped quickly in my chest for the fast intakes of breath I was managing; with every beat there was no escape. I sighed in the silence. There was nothing left to do. She didn't want me to talk to her. She didn't want to see me again. She didn't want to remember. Her heart of stone left mine breaking and that was the end of it. With the tears finally halting, I spoke something out loud. Something I didn't mean. Something I didn't want. Something I could never do.

"I'm over you, Allison. And I don't want to remember either."