AN: I'm slightly fond of this chapter for no reason. This chapter goes out to Collide by Howie Day. Brilliant song, go check it out! :D Kay, Rinny out suckaz! ;D

Chapter 11

I'm sitting in my dressing room, not sure what to do. It hasn't been even a day since he-who-will-not-be-named and I had our fight. I'm sitting on Tawni's bright orange couch, my knees brushing my cheeks, for my legs are folded. My arms are wrapped around my calves and I begin to rest my right cheek on my knee. I sigh as the door opens. I look to see who it is, secretly hoping it is a certain heartthrob.

"Come on, Sonny. Let's go eat something," Tawni pleads, her expression soft and reassuring. The lump in my throat shrinks a bit at the sight of her kindness, so giving up my 'I want to be alone" attitude, I get up and push a smile to my face. She grins a true grin and her arm wraps around my shoulder. We walk down the silent halls, which only remain hushed for a bit, for she speaks up half way to the cafeteria.

"I know we haven't know each other for a long time, but I know this isn't like you. I can see you have to force a smile to your face. Sonny, what's wrong, girl?" she asks, her arm leaving my shoulder. She turns slightly just enough for her to give me a stern expression while we continue to stroll. I sigh, knowing she wants a real answer.

"Tawni," I begin, debating how I should come to tell her. "I… Its just…Chad is… and I'm so…" I stutter, not coming across a single solid phrase. She pulls in her lip to bite it slightly, nearly frustrated, yet understanding. We reach the cafeteria and we grab our trays. Then she stops me and she places one hand on my shoulder.

"Look, Allison, I know Chad can be a jerk, but-" she begins, but stops midsentence due to the shocked expression I'm wearing. Her head turns slightly, so I answer her question.

"What did you call me?" I ask in a whisper. She thinks for a little, as if placing the words in order inside her head.

"Well, Allison is what I heard Marshall call you once. On the first day," she comments, not thinking anything of it until she sees my hurt appearance.

"Just… don't call me that," I tell her in a nearly soundless voice. She looks to the floor, then back to me. I didn't need a reminder of my past right now.

"Why not, Alli-" And that's when I get angry.

"Don't. Call. Me. That," I state, not leaving a syllable unpronounced. Tawni's expression turns sour, her hand fall to her sides. Her eyes that were once yielding now seem like sandpaper, rubbing away at what is left of my heart.

"Fine, Sonny," she spits out my name. "I'm sorry I tried to help for once." And with those harsh words, she turns on her heel and forgets eating all together, slamming her tray on top of the others. I'm left standing in the empty cafeteria with the lunch ladies staring at me for my dramatic scene. My face turns cold, but new warm tears are trickling down my cheeks. Then with my eyes to the floor, a pair of shiny sneakers comes into the room, causing me to look up and see the person wearing the Converse.

"Allis-" he stops himself, the concerned look leaving his face after seeing my expression, which was icy and firm. His eyes go to the ground as he walks to the ladies. I bite my lip and unable to look at him once again, I throw back my tray. Chad turns to look at me with his mouth slightly parted. I turn, racing out of the room. I begin to run, not knowing where I'm heading. I find myself down mysterious hallways and in studios for shows I have never heard of.

After dashing through the unknown studios, I dart out a large black door, leading to the parking lot. With tears still racing down, I see my car parked a few vehicles over. While racing through the lot, my feet tumble and my entire figure comes crashing down to the blacktop.

Tears flow from my eyes; I realize through the blur that on the ground in front of me is my necklace. My nose sniffles, my weak arms pulling in the metal pendant, the chain now broken in two. A crackled sigh escapes my lips, as I rise to my knees. Letting them drag and scrap, I sit up crookedly, allowing my back to hunch over the jewelry. I peer at it for a moment.

My thumb roams to the edge of the accessory. I turn it in the sunlight to get a better look. My thumb moves an inch down; the small detail that caught my attention now was visible. I bring the necklace closer, realizing what it is. I wonder to myself then. I wonder why I didn't notice it before. I wonder if it was important. I wonder.

My index finger reaches for the small latch, attempting to bust it open. My finger slips and I wonder if it's too rusty, seeing the orange had spread across the side of the latch. I try once more, now using both hands; one to hold the necklace, the other trying to bash it open. Failing, my thumb presses on the metallic edge and begins to hurt, for the latch seems to be stuck for good.

I see a teardrop reach the scratched metal piece. I lift my chin up a bit, remembering I was in the center of a parking lot. I stand up, my knees buckling as I did. And so I left it. I left the piece of my heart I would pay to forget. I left the necklace broken on the pavement. I force my key into the door, twisting slightly. I pull on the handle, allowing it to open. I climb inside, shutting the door behind me.

My fore head is slammed onto the top of the steering wheel in frustration. I heard a soft "pling" as I do so. My head lifts from its rest and looks to the ground. With a light shining through my car window, I see something small sparkle in the sunshine. It's lying between my seat and the passenger's, so I grab over to get a better look. I gasp a sharp intake of breath for the small metal thing is a charm that's attached to a small black cord. My heart stops for the slightest moment, then continues to pump once again.

So I'm sitting here, gazing at the small wristlet that only means something to me. I'm sitting here alone, wishing I could change the past. I'm sitting here, wondering what it would be like if he had never left. If we stayed in Appleton, I wondered. I wonder how things would have played out.

And that's when it hits me. And it comes like a ton of bricks. It didn't matter. No matter if he is Mackenzie or not, I decided. He would have changed. He would have left me in the end when it mattered most. Fate was fate, no matter how many times you cursed it. And I conclude one thing.

I conclude that TV and fame is a simple excuse. It is an excuse to leave, to forget. My breaths become cracked and jagged, due to the excessive amount of realization circling in the air. And with that, I turn the key in the ignition, driving away from my fears.

CPOV

I step outside for some air. People use that excuse all the time, but only now I realize it is truly only an excuse to get away. But it didn't help. Not one bit. I sigh, remembering Allison's- I mean, Sonny's expression when she saw me. It was an unknown one to me, since I have never seen anything like it after all these years. It was the look that made me worry I wouldn't see her face light up again. Her eyes were home to such disgust, my flashback reminds me.

So I stand there on the few concrete steps that lead out from a hefty black door. I'm there looking past the cars, my eyes darting from a vehicle to a car, then from a car to something rather peculiar on the asphalt. I walk a bit closer, the sun shining onto it. Still not being able to see it, I walk right to it and pick it up. Seeing the object flat in my palm, I realized it immediately.

"Ally," I mumble softly, staring at the 'A' carved on the heart. My eyes look up from the jewelry to peer around the parking lot. I could only wonder why she had dropped it. Or tossed it away, I think to myself. I bite my bottom lip, deep in thoughts. I stand up with the necklace in hand. The chain is broken and I let it dangle from my palm. My limo pulls up in front of me and I hop in. There's an echoing silence that fills the vehicle, and it gives me time to wonder.

And that's when it hits me. And it comes like a ton of bricks. It didn't matter. No matter if I am Mackenzie or not, I decided. I know I changed. And I know I left her in the end when it mattered most. And I know that fate was fate, no matter how many times you pray. And I concluded one thing.

I conclude that I need her to forgive me. I conclude that I can't live like this. I can't live without her. I can't deal with her hating the very sight of me. I can't deal with her not wanting to hear my name again. I can't deal with life without her. I sigh, wondering the impossible, or so it seems. I place the pendant into my back pocket; catching a tear at the edge of my eye with my middle finger. I grab my cell phone from my pocket and smile, for I can only hope this will set right for the things my clumsy tongue did.

"Hello, Uncle Joe's?" I wonder into the phone, hearing a voice on the line. The driver smiles at me in the mirror, his grin full of speculate and pride. And with that, the driver turns the key in the ignition, driving away with much a grin on my face for the first time in days.