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SUGAR COATED POISON

BY THE YOUNG AND FREE DRAGON

Die Liebe ist ein wildes Tier
Sie beißt und kratzt und tritt nach mir
Hält mich mit tausend Armen fest
Zerrt mich in ihr Liebesnest

(Love is a wild animal
It bites and scratches and kicks towards me
It holds me tightly with a thousand arms
and drags me into its love nest)

-Amour by Rammstein

CHAPTER FOUR: UNDERSTANDING, UNFORGIVING

Pain, without love

Pain, can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

-Pain by Three Days Grace

Turn your back on nature

And nature will turn its back on you

Petunia and Flaky trudged down the street toward Disco Bear's house, one umbrella being all that shielded them from the raging elements. The rain was ripping about them, showing no mercy as they walked. As they neared the bus station, they saw two figures sitting in the shelter of the bench that was made for those who waited for transportation. As they came closer, they noticed it was Pop and Cuddles. Petunia placed her pointer finger to her lips as Flaky began to question the sight. She pulled Flaky into an alley right behind the two they were watching. They acted as though this was a strange thing to see, though in truth it was not. Though Cuddles was never much around Pop and Cub when they were in public, that didn't mean they couldn't sit together. But the buses had stopped running hours ago.

They saw that Pop was holding something in his paws, as was Cuddles. As they looked closer, they could tell Pop was holding the sleeping form of Cub, and Cuddles was holding a small paper bag. The bag looked as though it were about to fall apart, the wind and rain had soaked it clean through.

"I'm telling you, it's not going to do you any good." Pop said.

"I don't take it to do my health good." Cuddles said, his paws tightening around the bag.

"It's not doing your mental state any favors either," Pop said, his pipe bobbing up and down in his mouth. "Throw it away."

"You can say that while having that in your mouth?" Cuddles said, pointing to the pipe.

"That's different," Pop said without a hint of defense in his voice. "I'm not the one who's been in the hospital."

"We regenerate every day, what's the big deal?" Cuddles asked.

"First off, that stuff sticks with you. Whatever it is that Disco Bear makes it out of stays with you. You still have the scar from last time, and I'm tired of wiping your insides up off my floor." Flaky and Petunia looked at each other, unsure of weather Pop was serious or not. "Second, you don't need this stuff, especially at a time like this. You need to fix this thing with Giggles instead of f'ing yourself up."

A sliver of a smile graced Cuddles lips as he looked at his friend, who only returned a stern, but caring look.

"Dad, Mom says not to even hint at words like that." Cuddles said.

"Oh shut up." Pop said with a small smile, lightly punching Cuddles' arm.

But as soon as the smile appeared it was gone, and a solemn look crossed his face. He held out one hand, Cub cradled in the crook of his other arm.

"Give it to me." He said.

Cuddles looked down at the bag, and the two girls could see his paws shaking as he tightened his grip on the paper. But even at this show of defense, he quickly handed the bag to Pop. The bear stood and threw the bag down into the water that was running into the gutter. With a small kick, the wet, brown lump of paper went down into the blackness.

Pop looked over at Cuddles and placed a paw on the rabbit's shoulder. Cuddles stood and looked into Pop's eyes. The bear smiled even as both of them were being soaked by the rain. Cub opened his eyes and smiled at his father. He then looked to Cuddles and held out his left paw. Cuddles took the small bear's paw in his own, and smiled with a bittersweet sadness in his face.

"He's growing up so quickly." Cuddles murmured.

"Yes," Pop said with the same sadness in his voice. "His mother would be proud."

Cuddles looked up into Pop's eyes, his smile gone, replaced by a pitying look.

"Don't talk about her…" Cuddles murmured.

Pop kept his composure, although his smile was quivering a little, tears on the verge of his mature, warm eyes.

"She may not be here, but if I don't think and talk about her, she'll always be gone."

"But… but how? I just don't understand how you can stay happy after this… how can you keep on living?" Cuddles asked, his eyes on the verge of tears as well.

Pop patted his friend's shoulder. He lifted Cub up to his shoulder, where the little tyke wrapped his arms around his father's neck.

"I'm the worst father in the world," He said. "I was the worst husband in the world. But all the reason I need for living is right here."

He kissed his child's head. Cuddles stared at him for a long time before he smiled in the same way Pop did.

"I wasn't there… I wouldn't know." He replied. "But I know you're the best friend in the world."

After this, he hugged Pop and Cub tightly, a few tears escaping his eyes before they let go. Pop smiled at his friend and Cub smiled widely at Cuddles. The rabbit smiled at the little boy and kissed his forehead, right below his beanie.

"Well I need to get this youngster to bed," Pop said. "He missed his nap."

Cub yawned in reply and waved at Cuddles as Pop walked away, his mouth opened in a wide smile. Cuddles continued to smile at them and waved to them as they disappeared. As they finally were shrouded in darkness, his arms dropped to his sides and he looked down at the gutter quickly before sitting back down.

Petunia didn't know what to say, but as she looked down at Flaky, she saw her friend was crying silently. She reached down and gave the porcupine a gentle hug.

Cuddles disappeared in the shroud of rain, and Petunia led Flaky forward, her heart heavy. She felt so much compassion for Cuddles at this moment and now she felt that he wasn't a bad guy at all. She hated that her opinion of someone could be swayed with only one event, but she felt this was strong enough, something she at least should take in mind. They approached Disco Bear's house silent and knocked on the door. It was a long time before Disco Bear opened the door, a look of concern on his face.

Petunia was confused by this, expecting to see that suave, desiring look but instead his eyes brightened as though he'd found an answer to a hard equation.

"You're just who I need to see." He said. "I know you hate me… but would you come in for a moment?"

"Um… I guess." Petunia said, giving Flaky's hand a squeeze and leading her in.

Disco Bear didn't dance or even make any kind of move on her as he stood in the middle of the living room.

He turned and looked at her, and crossed his arms. Petunia noted that Giggles was no where to be found.

"Okay, what's the pink chipmunk's deal?" He asked.

"Giggles?"

"Yes… that's what she asked me to refer to her as." He said, his face twisted in a look that was so alien to Disco Bear's personality, that Petunia didn't know what to think it meant. "What's her deal?"

"What has she done?" Petunia asked.

"She's been all over me since five. I swear, she's never this friendly to me. What do I do to make her stop?"

"Well, well. Why would you want her to stop?" Petunia asked, putting a skeptical look on her face and crossing her arms.

"Look, I may act strong but truthfully, I want what anyone wants; a healthy relationship. She on the other hand is acting like… a well…"

"I get it," Petunia said, looking down at her feet and dropping her arms. She wasn't sure if Disco Bear was telling the truth, but his eyes said so, and he looked honest. She felt kind of bad about the way she had treated him in the past.

"And what about Cuddles?" Disco Bear asked.

"Giggles is fighting with him…" Petunia said slowly.

"Then that explains it," Disco Bear sighed, sadness feeling his face. "I hate being used."

"I'm sorry she's acting like this."

"It doesn't matter. I'll always be viewed to same way…" Disco Bear said, his shoulders slumped. "Cuddles will never speak to me again."

"What do you mean?" Petunia queered.

"You've never paid attention to me," Disco Bear said. "That's why you've never seen me talking to Cuddles. We go a few years back."

"I didn't know-…"

"How could you?" Disco Bear said.

"Is he your friend?"

"Not after this."

"Wait," Petunia said, the skeptic coming back momentarily. "Why do you sell him the drug if he's your friend. You must know what it does."

Disco Bear sighed sadly again. He seemed so different now, and she suddenly felt like giving him a hug.

"I never want to. But… it's hard to explain."

"Why do you even sell it?"

"I gotta make a living."

"That's not the way to do it."

"I'm not perfect."

"Yes but…" Petunia was cut off by the doorbell ringing.

Disco Bear sighed. "Tell her I'm not home."

"Then what would I be doing here?"

"Make something up." He said, going into the next room.

Petunia moved slowly to the door, followed by Flaky. She opened it, not surprised by who she saw, Giggles. The pink chipmunk was surprised to see her though.

"Petunia!" She said. "What're you doing here?"

"Not important. Go home, Giggles."

"I wanted to see Disco-…"

"Go away!" Petunia shouted. "He doesn't want to see you!"

Giggles was quite for a moment.

"What did you do to him-…?" She began but was stopped short by a smack across the face.

Petunia's eyes were glowing in rage and she grabbed Giggles roughly by the shoulder, shaking her.

"Cuddles was right about you!" She shouted. "You are a skank! You're using people, you're unfaithful to your boyfriend, and you accuse people you trust! What is wrong with you? What happened to the Giggles we know?"

Giggles was quite for a moment, staring at Petunia in shock, and then began tearing up, water rolling down her rain soaked face. She turned and was about to run off when she ran into someone. All three girls stared in surprise as they saw Cuddles standing there. Giggles backed away as though Cuddles was a vicious monster. He looked at all of them, his eyes soft toward his two friends, and then hard on his girlfriend.

"Is Disco Bear home?" He asked quietly.

"Yes." Petunia replied in the same low volume. "He's in the back."

"Thanks." Cuddles said.

He moved inside, pushing past Giggles before stopping. He turned and looked at her with mild interest, with disgust mingled in.

"By the way," He said, pulling something out of his pocket. "This is yours."

He placed it in Giggles' paws. She looked down at it, and then almost in surprise, looked up at him, her eyes full of confusion and sadness.

"So you did take it…" She said softly.

"No," He replied solemnly. "Cub was out there on the meadow that morning. He saw it and thought it was pretty. He took it while you had your back turned. He looked sorry when I told him who's it was…"

He didn't finish, eyeing her before walking away. Petunia and Flaky turned to Giggles, both showing many different expressions at once. Giggles only stared down at the bow before reaching up and taking her own off and looking at it. She seemed to be weighing both of them.

"Cuddles gave me this one…" She said, referring to the bow she held in her left paw, the one that had been on her head. "This became so much more than just the bow… I'd forgotten…"

She dropped the Cuddles bow at Petunia's feet, then placing the one her mother had given her on her head, walked away into the shroud of rain.

"There's something I need to tell you, man." Disco Bear said, his paws clasped behind him as though he were a small cub, about to confess to an act against his parents will.

"There's nothing that needs to be said." Cuddles replied, reaching down into his pocket.

"But it's about Giggles… it was… my fault. I was…"

"No," Cuddles said, pulling out something that jingled in his paw. He took one of Disco Bear's paws and placed the cold objects in his palm. "Nothing needs to be said."

Disco Bear looked down at his paw, and saw a small sum of coins. He looked up questioningly at Cuddles. The rabbit gave him a small scrap of paper.

"It's a tip to the lottery. That's the ticket that's going to win. I had a hint. Take it, and use it, so you'll never have to sell anything to anyone ever again, anything that you're not proud of that is."

"And the money?" Disco Bear asked, after he'd made his voice straighten, though a tear was rolling down his face.

"It's for that little key chain that has the two people dancing on it," Cuddles said with a small smile. "I know you like it. Now you can have it. You deserve it. One more thing."

He reached into his pocket one final time and brought out a small gold chain. He placed it in Disco Bear's paw.

"It was a birthday present from Giggles. I… I can't keep it anymore…" Cuddles said, his ears dropping. "Put the key chain on it. For me. I want someone who deserves it to get the use out of it."

He gave Disco Bear's shoulder a friendly squeeze, a weak smile crossing his sad face, and then turned and left. Disco Bear clutched the chain to his bare chest as more tears rolled down his face.

"This means more than you know, Cuddles." He whispered. Maybe it was something that didn't have to be said. Disco Bear, had passed the message through his gentle eyes.

I hope you've enjoyed, please review.