Chapter 5.
An hour was almost up. Avery was going to home and then come back, but he hadn't been able to leave. He had turned on the ignition, hands ready on the steering wheel. Then he had thought better of it. What if it went badly? What if she left and he wasn't there? What if she needed him? He needed to make sure she was okay. He had removed his hands from the wheel and turned off the engine. He had listened to the radio, idly flicking through the stations, read through the paper and flicked through random pages on the internet on his phone. He had checked the time a dozen times, and checked his phone for calls or texts, double that amount. Just in case he had missed her call.
Ten minutes after her hour was up, she emerged from the clinic. Her hat was firmly on her head, and her sunglasses were on. She hurried over to the car and climbed in next to him. He instinctively reached over to her and put his hand on her leg. Then, thought better of it and quickly brought it back.
"How did it go?"
"Can you get me out of here?" she said, her voice slightly breaking with emotion.
He did as she said and started up the engine and drove her back to her house. She didn't say a word, and Avery knew he just needed to get her back home. He didn't say anymore.
When they arrived, they remained silent. She removed her hat and glasses and they got out of the car and he followed behind her to her door.
"Juliette, do you want me to go?"
She turned to face him. They were close now and he could see she had been crying, her eyes were bloodshot, her face was blotchy and she looked so fragile.
"Could you come in, just for a little while?"
"Sure," he said, secretly relieved that she had asked. He really wanted to check she was okay before he left.
She opened the door and they went inside. They both sat on the sofa.
"When the therapist asked me what had made me seek help, I had to tell her what I had done to you, what I had done to us. She asked me about my past, about my childhood. I gave it to her in a nutshell. She said we'd be exploring it in more depth in the coming weeks. "
Avery nodded, and listened to what she was saying.
"The truth is, Avery. I know how much I need this, but at the same time, I am terrified. How can I know that I can definitely trust this person? She comes highly recommended, sure, but if someone pays the right price, that's it. All my deepest, darkest fears will be out there for everyone to know. Now that would be the way to finish off my career," she sighed.
"I need to do this. But it's killing me already, and this is the first session," she looked on glumly.
"Juliette, you need to give yourself a break. You are so brave just even attempting to do this. This therapist is a good one, we know that. She is highly recommended and she is a professional. If you don't like her or don't trust her, we just get you another. It's simple. And no amount of money is going to let her jeopardise her career, I'm sure. Not after all this time. I wouldn't let you do anything that would harm you, and I really think this is okay."
Juliette smiled, despite the tears that were now threatening to fall once more. She couldn't believe how much she had been crying recently. It was like she was never going to stop. She wished she could tell Avery that she didn't want him to leave. She wished she could go back in time and erase her infidelity. So many regrets, and nothing she could do about it. It was so incredibly painful.
"I find trusting people so hard, I've been let down, so many times. I've been exploited, I've been made a fool of. I am just so scared. I think you are the only person that I trust 100 per cent."
Avery managed a smile. He felt overwhelmed though, because everything was such a mess. He loved this girl, she was hurting so bad, he was hurting so bad. She needed him, he was going to try and be there for her. He needed her, but he couldn't have her. He wanted her to love herself, and see all the beautiful things he saw in her. It seemed like such a daunting task ahead. He admired so much about her. She was brave, she was strong. She didn't see it, any of it. She could be a brat, her tongue could be sharp, she could be a diva, and under all that tough exterior, there was a girl who could be so kind and thoughtful, and so loving. But, there was also a vulnerable girl who wanted to be loved. He so wanted to be the one that loved her. Well, he already did. But he had wanted to be her everything, forever. He was still hurting so much. Yes, just a huge big mess.
They sat silently for a while and then Juliette spoke up.
"I think I'm going to see if the therapist will come on tour with me. I know this is so important. I don't think it's a good idea to stop before we even get started. I need this to work out. What do you think?"
"I think it's a good idea," he replied.
"I don't suppose you feel like coming out and playing some guitar?" Juliette looked so hopeful.
"I don't know Juliette. That could be too much."
"But I need you," she said, she couldn't hide her disappointment.
"I'll think about it, but honestly, your guitar player, your producer, co-writer and friend? It sounds like a lot. I'm not sure."