Chapter 8.
The next day, Juliette crawled out of bed and still was not feeling her best. However, once she ate some breakfast she was feeling a little better. Her therapist arrived at 8:30am and didn't waste any time in getting down to business.
Juliette was slowly growing to like the therapist. She was very to the point, she didn't mess around but she exuded a warmness that Juliette found comfort in. Juliette could feel herself trusting her and opening up to her. Even though it terrified her, she felt that it was right, just as Avery had said.
This session focused on early memories, before her father's death, before it had all gone wrong. Juliette found it particularly gruelling as speaking about her father reminded him of his love for her. It was also so sad, because she realised that he had really not been around that much because of his job, and the times he was around made such a huge difference to her life. It was also evident that even though her mama was not an addict at that point, she struggled without having her husband around. Juliette voiced the concern to the therapist, that maybe she had been a difficult child and had caused her mama unhappiness. The therapist listened, as she got it all off her chest.
The session was soon over, and Juliette thanked her and told the therapist that she would see her in Nashville the following week when she was on her break week. As she said goodbye to the therapist at the door, tears rolled down her face. Zoey appeared and Juliette was taken aback at the unexpected visit.
"Are you ok?" asked Zoey, concern shadowing her pretty face.
"I'm fine," said Juliette, wiping her face quickly. "What did you want, anyway?"
"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I was just wondering how you were feeling today, but also to ask if it's ok if I can get Gunnar in to watch backstage today? He was talking about coming out to see me perform." Zoey looked embarrassed all of a sudden.
Juliette felt a pang, deep in her heart, as she thought about Avery coming out to see her perform at Fort Campbell. A wave of nausea washed over her.
"Are you ok? I'm really sorry to bother you. I guess I probably should have asked someone else."
"No, its fine. I'm feeling ok, thanks. Of course, it's fine for Gunnar to come, absolutely."
Zoey thanked her and left to go back to her hotel room. Juliette went and lay on the bed, and went back to sleep.
When Zoey got back to her room she looked at her phone. She hesitated, and then called Avery.
At 3pm, it was sound check time, and Juliette was ready. She wasn't feeling great but she soldiered on and joined her team on stage to have a rehearsal and sound check. She had thought about calling Avery, but she couldn't face it. She actually needed him too much, and it scared her. They were supposed to be over, but it just wasn't happening. She missed him. Being friends just wasn't enough. He had permeated her heart and soul. He was all she could think about. What she had lost. Ugh.
As a roadie set her up with her ear monitors there was a commotion at the back of the arena as some people came in and she realised it was Gunnar, as Zoey ran to meet him. Juliette watched them embrace and then she saw a very familiar face.
"Avery?" she said quietly to herself.
She clambered down off the stage, a bit wobbly. She walked tentatively over to him. His face had a small smile on his lips, but his eyes sparkled as she looked into them.
"Surprise," he said, nervously.
"What are you doing here?" she said, shocked, but Avery could tell she was pleased to see him.
She held herself back as they embraced. It took everything in her power not to keep hold of him.
"Well, Gunnar was heading here to see Zoey, so I thought I would tag along. I wanted to see how you were, so I thought, what better way than in person?"
"I'm glad you're here," she looked away, but it was too late, he had seen how much she needed him and this confirmed what Zoey had said to him on the phone. She wasn't okay.
"Come and take a seat. I'm just going to do some rehearsals and sound check. You want to watch?"
"Absolutely," he said, making her heart flutter.
As she got up on stage, she felt funny again, but she dismissed it. She took a deep breath and they started the first song, a new one about heartbreak. A song so obviously about Avery and their situation that she actually felt embarrassed. As they neared the end of song, she suddenly felt the room start to spin and things went quiet. She put her hand out and grabbed on to the microphone stand and tried to steady herself.
"Juliette, are you ok?"
Quick as a flash, Avery was by her side as she slumped against him, struggling to keep herself standing. He eased her down to the floor and held her close, as the room continued to spin and then everything went black.
When she came to, she was lying on the floor, with Avery cradling her in his arms, Emily and Glen were crowded around, crouching next to her, while Emily was calling the tour doctor.
Juliette pulled herself up to sitting, as Avery supported her with his arm around her back. He still held her close.
"Sorry everyone, just a bit light headed today, not sure what that was about."
"I think you need to let the doc have a look at you," said Avery, his voice full of concern.
With his help, she pulled herself up to standing and walked to her dressing room. Avery didn't leave her side and kept his arm around her. She was secretly enjoying the closeness. When she faltered he gripped her tighter. She brought up her arm and put it around his waist. She avoided his eyes.
As they got to the room, Avery hesitated.
"Can you come in with me?" she asked. It was unlike her to be so needy but she just felt so much better just having him there.
"Ok. Of course." They went in and the doctor checked her over.
"Everything looks fine, you blood pressure is normal."
"Ok, great, I'll get on with the show."
"Look, as a routine check, I'd like to do a urine sample, if you don't mind?" the doctor asked.
"Ok, sure." Juliette went to the bathroom and Avery waited in the dressing room. He looked at the doctor.
"What are you checking for exactly?" he asked.
The doctor hesitated. "It's just routine."
As Juliette returned, she handed him her sample and the doctor went to the side to do whatever he needed to do with it.
Juliette sat in a chair, and Avery crouched next to her. They stayed quiet for a while, before Avery broke the silence.
"How do you feel about performing tonight, do you think you should?"
Juliette hesitated. "I'm sure I will be fine."
The doctor cleared his throat.
"Juliette, could I speak to you privately for a minute?"
"Erm, its ok. Avery is a close friend. I have no secrets from him," she smiled weakly. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"Well, ok if you're sure… You are pregnant."
Both Juliette and Avery stared at the doctor in disbelief. Juliette's face turned to horror as what the doctor was saying sunk in. Avery ran his hands through his hair and looked at Juliette. They were both so shocked it was a minute or so before anyone spoke.
"Are you sure? I mean…I'm…I'm on the pill. How can this happen?"
"It is very rare, but it does happen. When was your last period?"
"Erm…I don't get them with the pill I am on," she shook her head. Her eyes filled with tears as she processed what was going on. What a huge mess.
"I need to know how many weeks I am. As soon as possible," she said.
Avery was very quiet. She knew there were words that hung in the air between them, that the other did not dare to say right at that moment.
The doctor examined her abdomen as best he could without a table.
"I really can't tell. I can't feel your uterus yet, so you're less than 12 weeks. I will call the local hospital here and see if we can get you a scan tomorrow."
"Ok doctor. Thank you. Why did I faint? Will it be ok for me to perform tonight?"
"It's most likely to be low blood sugar, so if you eat little and often, things like fruit and snacks, you should be fine."
"Ok. Thanks. Let me know about the scan as soon as you can."
Avery said goodbye and thanked him as he left and shut the door behind him. He rubbed his hand over his jaw and avoided Juliette's eyes for a minute.
"Avery, please say something," Juliette was petrified of what he was going to say, but she couldn't bear the silence.
"I don't know what to say. I'm in shock. I mean, you're going to be a mother…I could…I could be the father…"
"Avery, you have to be the father," she looked down and the tears fell quickly down her face. She let out a quiet sob.
"I will never forgive myself if this is Jeff's baby. I am so not ready to be a mother, but I cannot be having Jeff's baby," she shook her head again and stifled another sob.
Avery stared at her for a minute, processing everything some more. This was all so overwhelming.
He slowly walked over to her and crouched down next to her and held her hands.
"It's going to be ok Juliette," he tried to reassure her, but she couldn't stop crying.
"Juliette, we'll know more tomorrow when we know how many weeks you are. "
"What if it's really early? That means it could be Jeff's."
"Juliette, I promised I wouldn't leave you alone, and I meant it. I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens, I am here for you."
Two hearts were breaking all over again. Why did this have to happen? There was enough going on without this addition.
"I do not want any connection with Jeff. I do not want him permanently in my life. A life long tie to him. Ugh, he hates me and I hate him. What have I done?" Avery could see this broken girl, breaking even more. He could see the resentment of herself in her eyes. It was so hard to see, as he loved her so much.
"Listen to me. I'm not going to let that happen. Maybe we should just forget finding out whose it is, and we will bring the baby up as mine. Whatever happens. I will always support you and the baby. I can be the father figure and Jeff will never know."
"You would really do that for me? Avery, you cannot do that, we are not even together. That woud be a huge undertaking for you. I mean, this is for life." Juliette looked pained. She wanted this baby to be Avery's so much.
"But I love you and I know I can love this baby. If it's not mine, it could have been. That's enough. You know, maybe it's even better not to find out. So, it's mine, no need to know otherwise."
"We cannot do that and you know it! Look Avery, I want you to go. Just go. I cannot do this to you and I think it would be best if you just leave."
"I'm not leaving you."
"Please Avery, I don't want you here."
"I don't believe you."
"It's the truth, please go."
"Don't make me go. I don't want to go. You don't want me to go, you won't even look at me. You don't need to do this. This could be my baby, and I want to look after you. I'm not going. Look me in the eye and tell me you want me to go and I'll go, sure, but I won't go far," she could hear the determination in his voice, and of course he was right. He knew her too well.
"Ok, fine stay… Where are you staying tonight, anyway?"
"Umm, I didn't actually think about that. I guess Gunnar will stay with Zoey. I'll call the hotel and see if they have a room."