"Hey, guys!" I smiled at the four people already gathered in the little semi-private room. The waiter was a kind of creepy guy and he showed us our table which was hidden in a tiny corner of the front room by a curtain.

Anna smiled at me happily and Mercy looked up. I really don't know what was going through my mind when I had agreed to this dinner, there were three very dominant wolves in a tiny enclosed space and I was already claustrophobic. If I was alone in the room I'd have freaked out! I was pretty much frozen in the curtain-way (instead of doorway, get it? I'm so smart!) Of course, since I was stuck in front of Angus, he wasn't able to get in either.

"Eep!" I jumped forward as his hand brushed me in a place I was not too happy about. He smirked and walked past. "Angus!" I snapped.

He looked up innocently from where he had just sat down and I glared at him. Anna watched me like I had gone insane. Adam snorted and Mercy hit him.

I sat down next to him in a huff, crossing my arms over my chest. Charles was observing the entire room and looked a little...blood thirsty. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of cigarettes in the room to the left of us on the other side of the wall. I hated the smell and it didn't help my nose was so sensitive. Finally, we placed our orders. Of course I felt left out because I was nowhere near 21 and therefore not allowed to drink. I enjoyed a coke and waited patiently for the steak I was dumb enough to order. You see, when you're with werewolves and you order steak, you really screwed yourself over because the chances of you eating any of it are slim.

We had gotten a new waiter who was constantly flirting with either me or Anna which really set off Charles and bothered Angus to no end, especially when I flirted back.

Yeah, I play with explosives, it's like playing with fire but a bit more unpredictable. Even still, I have yet to be killed.

"I feel like there's something I'm missing." Anna said, watching me and Angus.

"There's a lot you're missing." Mercy sighed, her head in her hands. "Don't worry about it."

Adam and Charles were talking about nonsense, trying to stay out of it, although Charles was throwing warning glances at Angus from his side of the table. I kicked Angus when he moved to touch me.

"Enough." I hissed. "I want you to leave me alone."

He looked hurt. Anna looked surprised and got up to follow me when I left. I didn't stop her because I wanted her to follow me, I wanted to talk to her.

"Alex, what's wrong?" She asked once we had reached the bathroom.

"Anna, don't tell me you don't know." I said angrily.

"It looks like you're regretting him." She said honestly.

"I'm not regretting him because I never accepted him, Anna." I groaned, "Never, never, never."

She nodded as she considered my words.

"So if, say...Jasmine were to flirt with him you'd be okay with that?" She asked, Jasmine was this real bitch of a werewolf I had been forced to put up with at Aspen Creek.

"Ye-ye...no." I admitted, "But that's cause I sorta like him...but not like he wants me to."

She nodded, reminding me strongly of Doctor Phil.

"So how do you like him?"

"Like...like...I don't know okay?" I pouted, "I like him but I don't...it's just I'd rather him not want me if it's just to make himself seem stronger."

She laughed and I knitted my eyebrows together.

"This isn't funny!"

"You're view on mating is hilarious." She laughed harder.

"Anna!" I whined.

"I'm sorry, Alex, but it is funny! I mean you thought that he only wants you because-" She broke off laughing. I turned to storm out. "Oh, come on, Alex, it's just you're not very bright for a dingo raised by wolves."

"Are you going to keep insulting me?"

"Right, well, mates are a little like what you said I suppose, like in Bran's case it was to keep him from going crazy. He and Leah aren't exceptionally close if you haven't noticed."

"I noticed." I grumbled.

She nodded, "Well, that's because their wolves accept each other but the humans don't accept each other. In Bran's case it's because he's afraid of getting hurt again like after Charles mother, don't tell anyone that, okay? I shouldn't even know."

I nodded.

"Right, 'kay so in most cases you're just dealing with two sets of instincts. The...idiots that are men and the assholes that are wolves."

I snorted.

"Nicely put."

She looked like she was having a conversation with herself in her head and I figured she hadn't exactly thought about not letting Charles see what she had just said. After a minute or two she looked at me again.

"It's true. Usually, if they agree on you, they can agree to either let you be happy or the wolf-er-has his way I suppose. I haven't really heard of that happening though. The real problem is with the dominants."

"Yeah like Charles?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, like Charles. When he's angry the wolf is insane."

"You're really screwing this talk up, you know that?" I looked at her carefully.

"I know I am, let me try to fix this." She took a breath, "I'm not a mother nor have I ever had the urge to be, the sex talk would be the reason why."

"Whoa, whoa!" I stopped her, "None of that!"

"Well, it's true!" She defended. "So when Charles' wolf is really unsettled he really only wants one of two things, blood and-"

"Okay we can skip the second one!" I held up my hands, she smiled innocently.

"Aw, I like the second one!" She giggled. I frowned.

"Jesus, you're the one I wasn't allowed near because you were too scared when you arrived here?" My eyes were wide.

She shook her hair over her shoulder.

"Yes, well, my reputation precedes me, Alex."

"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH!" I raced for the exit, she beat me there.

"Nuh-uh, not until I'm done with my confusing talk, Alex."

"I could assist with that." There was an offer from outside the door and Anna let Mercy in. I was pushed backwards when I made a dash for it.

"Right so then you have sex, find out the bond didn't settle, touch his hand while running for your life, and whattya know? He's right there in your head, making it more crowded than necessary!" Anna clapped. "Back to where I left off though, seriously. I'm sure he cares about you because he was obviously in charge of his actions back there. I'd just say that you'll have to learn to live with the whole 'territorial' nonsense."

Mercy waited until she had finished.

"Well...Anna's way worked..." She looked at the wolf. "Although every bond is different so how you will come across it is a mystery."

"Who says I'm okay with this shit?" I asked.

"We're assuming you are, because you 'like him' and you acted pretty jumpy back there." Anna explained calmly.

"Okay..." I sighed.

"So you really don't want to mess with fire because I found that out the hard way, Alex." She continued.

"I consider it messing with explosives." I corrected.

"Whatever your views, I'm telling you as a button-pusher, do not push buttons. It doesn't get you anywhere but deeper into this." She frowned. "And don't tease him."

Anna nodded. "That includes wearing all your clothes."

"I found that one out." I grumbled.

They looked like twins because both of their right eyebrows were raised and they both had their arms folded over their chests.

"When did you figure that out?"

"Today." I smiled, "I went to the pool and came back and he was not happy."

"Define not happy..." Anna said carefully.

"I wanted to run out of the room." I answered.

"She's screwed." Mercy sighed and Anna murmured her agreement.

"Guys?"

"He was wolf?" Anna pressed, "Or not in control?"

"Not terribly in control." I frowned, "I talked to Liam for at least five minutes."

They looked startled.

"Damn, she's more than screwed." Mercy muttered.

"You named him?" Anna asked. "You named the wolf?"

"Yeah, I needed to be able to differentiate and his real name is Liam." I shrugged then hit myself. "Shit."

"Yeah." Mercy and Anna said together.

"So...where does this get me?" I looked up miserably.

"If you don't do anything else stupid? Maybe a month more?" They consulted. "Yeah, probably."

I slumped backwards and slid down the wall. Then I looked up.

"What is a bond?"

"Did you listen to anything I said?" Mercy rolled her eyes, "I don't know what it is to you. Every pair is different. It's a feeling really, like they're literally in your heart."

I nodded.

"Wait...Mercy, you're here...Anna, you're here...and I'm here...THE GUYS ARE ALONE?" I jumped up.

There was a "crap" and a "oh...my..." and we hurried to leave.

"By the way, Alex, enjoy yourself." Anna grinned.

I whined.

"I liked the terrified Anna, I want that one back!" I followed her quickly as we headed for our table.

The good thing was that no one had killed anyone when we got back. Even Mercy and Anna had freaked at my realization so I guess even mated pairs have their doubts in their partner's control.

We just poked at dessert and walked back to our hotel. Anna and Charles were staying gosh-knows-where, but Adam and Mercy were across the street from us practically.

So Mercy and I made Adam and Angus work a little and we ran out ahead when they paid and changed in an alley near by, after making sure there were no security cameras. I mean we carried collars so really there were no other worries. We came out and Angus and Adam had just emerged from the restaurant. They stared at us.

"Mercy, NO!" And the coyote was off, running down the street at top speed, weaving in and out of walkers.

"Okay, Alex, just stay there...come on!" And I was off, Angus on my tail. "ALEX!"

I snorted a laugh as I sped down hill and caught up to Mercy at the bottom. My tongue lolled out when I grinned.

"This is not funny, guys!" Adam said angrily. The best part was Mercy had been carrying four leashes in her purse (for emergencies of course) so we both literally looked like we had run away from our owners.

XXX

We had run them around the Washington Monument and back to our separate hotels, they didn't enjoy scaring humans with their abnormal speed. I had changed back and lead the way from elevator B and into room 702. I heard the door click behind Angus and I felt his warm arms wrap around my waist. He pushed my hair off the right side of my face and nuzzled my neck. I sucked in a breath.

"I'm scared." I whispered. He sighed and backed off immediately. I could smell his rejection and I bit my lip. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head.

"What happened isn't your fault."

I decided to change and grabbed my clothes out of my bag, going into the bathroom and coming out moments later with sweat pants and a cami, I had originally planned on wearing my comfortable black shorts, but they were...somewhat revealing and I wasn't really comfortable with the idea anymore.

He wasn't wearing a shirt, he was a guy...but at least he was wearing pants...

I curled up into the covers and shut my eyes tight, hiding in the fluffy comforter. I peeked out and opened one eye.

"You gonna get in or are you not gonna sleep tonight?" I asked.

He looked startled.

"I-I-I-"

"Quit your stammering." I sighed and shifted over a little, letting him have the spot nearest the door to the hall. When he had laid down I snuggled into his side. He smelled content and for once in a long time, I was too.

I woke up from my dream thoroughly embarrassed. My eyes were still closed but I had no desire to open them. I knew I talked in my sleep and with a dream like the one I had just had, I didn't want to look Angus in the eyes and find out what I'd let slip.

It was a good dream.

Finally, I did open my eyes and was startled to find Angus' face so close to mine. Then, I remembered we were sharing a bed. I looked into his eyes-they were his-and touched my lips softly to his, pulling back almost immediately. He watched me carefully before capturing my lips with his in something a little more aggressive but still just as careful.

Surprisingly I didn't mind. In fact, I was even comfortable enough that I let him slip his hand up my shirt when he did. I felt him brush the slightly raised scar on my side form where Samuel had stitched me up after a piece of glass from the picture that had fallen on me had pierced my skin and sliced a wound from the middle of my ribcage to my hip. He pulled back, startled, and I bit my lip-a new habit-eyes slightly watery, before I slipped the shirt over my head. He hadn't gotten a good look at me before after my trip to the pool else he'd have known I had it and the many other small dark lines from the smaller shards of glass. I winced at his shocked expression.

"I hope you don't mind slightly damaged goods." I whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks. He blinked and reached to wipe a tear off my face. In response, he kissed me again, softly, just a brush of his lips across mine.

"I love you." He looked me in the eye and I knew he was asking me to trust him. I wanted to, I really did, but I was scared. In the end, I nodded, allowing him to roll us so he was on top. He kissed me, rough and passionate now, and reached behind me to unclasp my bra. Even then he was being gentle with every touch and I knew his wolf must have been fighting him somehow.

He removed his lips from mine and kissed and licked down my neck, I tensed a little but eventually decided he wouldn't hurt me. What surprised me the most was that he kissed each and everyone of the scars that tore across my chest, stomach, sides, and back.

Eventually, we were both naked and I was on top before my mind shut down and I broke, unable to do anything and began crying.

Angus looked startled and I almost didn't notice the difference when he immediately moved so he was holding me more or less.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, "I just can't do this!" It had hurt so much on so many levels. I couldn't go through it all again.

He stroked my hair soothingly.

"It's not your fault, Alex." He assured.

"I can't go through it again." I whispered, snuggling into his chest. He tensed and the smell of hurts washed over me. I looked up and he looked as if someone had slapped him in the face. He didn't understand! He thought it was him! It wasn't! Couldn't he see that? It wasn't him I didn't trust!

It was what he was.

I decided to give him the second reason though.

"I-I-I lost it." I whispered.

His eyebrows knitted together and he looked down at me.

"Lost what exactly?"

I bit my lip nervously. I didn't want him to know anymore, I don't know what made me think telling him was a good idea to begin with, but I couldn't back out now.

"T-t-the baby."

I broke into new tears and explained the story in hysterics.

"H-he didn't have to know his father. The baby just needed to know I l-l-loved him, that it didn't matter what his father did because he was mine."

Angus was silent and I sobbed harder. He hated me.

"I was pregnant for about a month before the full moon came around." I shut my eyes tight. "I made Mercy stay, I felt guilty afterwards, but I needed a friend and she knew. I-I knew it was going to happen, Angus, there was blood and I miscarried!

"I knew it wasn't going to make it, I could feel it. But why did it have to die? He could've survived! He was mine and I couldn't save him. I-I don't want it to happen again." I whimpered, opening my eyes to see that Angus had a tear running down his face.

"Alex, it wasn't your fault you couldn't save him."

"I could've tried! I just sat there waiting for him to Change and be lost forever! I could've gone dingo or something! Maybe the wolf needed a canine mother!"

"Alexandria Lynn Harpford, there was nothing you could do." He whispered, "You tried, you tried your best. You didn't change because you knew you'd hurt him if you did. There was nothing you would've done to change his fate, nothing at all."

"But what if there was?"