A/N: We all know none of us owns Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does (SHOCKER!)

Here's a yummi one for ya, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4

I paused for a second and looked down at my panties that lay on the floor. Hmm, what if…?

Oh Bella that's wicked, you naughty girl! My subconscious scolded me. But then she added Go for it, we're gonna crack that motherfucker.

I smiled, pleased that my subconscious bad-girl agreed with me. If there was anyone in the world that I always trusted and whose advice I would never doubt, it was my inner bad-girl. She was fucking fierce, that one.

Reaching down, I grabbed the panties I had just taken off and then walked/stumbled to the ladies room. I was still slightly shaky since Edwards fucking stunt and damn I was so uncomfortably wet it wasn't even funny.

The bathroom was empty so I just grabbed a paper towel and cleaned myself up and then threw a glance in the mirror. I looked good. A bit messed up thanks to Edward's less than gentle manners, but still hot. I winked at my reflection (yeah, I totally do those kinds of things. Get over it) and left the room, panties in hand.

The sound level increased with every step I took closer to the stairs, and I smirked when I heard what song was playing. Just as I stepped out onto the dance floor Akon started singing the lyrics to the very suitable 'Sexy Bitch'.

I looked around me at the people crowding the place, everyone was getting seriously into the song, dancing like maniacs. Well, Akon kind of does that to people I guess.

"Bella!" A female voice called and I suddenly found myself in the arms of my colleague Kate, who was jumping up and down to the beat while hugging me. I laughed and hugged her back tightly, she was one of those people who you just can't help but to love and feel super comfortable with.

When she stepped back, Angela hugged me too and asked "What's that in your hand, Bella?"

I smiled deviously and held up my panties in front of the girls. They looked completely shocked for two seconds before busting out in equally loud laughter. Angela calmed down first, and though she was still shaking with laughter she managed to choke out "What the hell? Bella you're supposed to wear them, not flaunt them!"

"Nah, these fuckers are too pretty to keep hidden." I said and winked, then continued "But I'm not going commando 'cause my hooha needs the fresh air, I'm doing it 'cause I'm on a mission." I stated, and just then caught sight of a head full of tasselled, bronze hair across the dance floor.

The girls looked amused, they had witnessed these kinds of random acts from me before and learned that it did no good to ask questions, you simply had to watch.

I kept my voice business like but I'm sure that my excited grin betrayed me. "Ah, ladies if you'll excuse me, I believe I just spotted my victim." I shoved the panties into my clutch, an action that would have had Alice screaming in terror. According to her, body fluids and designer bags did not mix.

"Go get him girl, and if you bring back his underwear… Well, then I'm buying you drinks 'til the alcohol starts coming out your ears." Kate laughed, and smacked my butt as I took off. I wiggled my ass a little for them and got appreciative cheers from my friends and about 4-5 of the men who were surrounding us.

I made my way through the crowd easily and was soon standing in front of a ridiculously good looking Edward Cullen. He was holding a bottle of beer in one hand and the other one was in his hair, messing it up even more. Of course he was surrounded by a group of gorgeous women, all trying to get their hands on him.

Because I'm me, and because I'm a bitch when I'm horny and unsatisfied, I simply pushed one especially attractive woman aside to stand in front of Edward. I might have stomped on her toes with my heel, but that was totally by accident. Or whatever.

Edwards head turned in my direction and when he saw me, that fucking crooked grin spread all over his face, doing freaky things to the damn butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach. I tried not to roll my eyes as one of the women started pulling on his arm to get his attention. Instead I smiled shyly, acting as if I was nervous to be in his presence. That kind of act always made those fuckers ego grow even bigger, and I just loved being the one who shattered them later…

They say she needs to slow down

The baddest thing around town

She's nothing like the girl you've ever seen before

Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore

I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl

Oh how I loved Akon this very moment.

Edward pulled his arm away from the woman tugging on it and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Here to beg?" His voice was so fucking seductive that I just knew he had been practicing that shit, 'cause hell, no man could sound like that without some serious time in front of the mirror imitating George Clooney.

But who was I kidding, Edward fucking beat The Clooney when it came to getting me hot and bothered.

Blasphemy! My inner Mrs. Clooney yelled at me. I had my inner bad-girl shut her up. There was 'Edward play time' on the schedule for tonight…

I bit down on my lower lip and looked at the floor, figuring if I was gonna do this submissive shy girl shit I might as well go all the way.

"I think I might have dropped my phone when you surprised me in that corridor earlier, and I can't seem to find it. Can you help me look?" I said, making my voice sad and pleading. Yeah, yeah, I was laying it on thick but it was serious fun.

Edward immediately handed his beer to one of his groupies and took my hand, starting to lead me across the dance floor.

Score! I'm gonna get you good, Mr. Fucking Tease Cullen.

As we passed Kate and Angela in the crowd, I blinked at them and they gawked at Edward.

We walked down the few steps and were in the corridor again, Edward was walking behind me now with a hand on the small of my back. I didn't wait to get to the end of hall, the door to the men's room was directly to the left so I turned around and grabbed Edward's shirt in a tight fist, pulling him with me as I opened the door with my other hand and backed into the bathroom.

Thankfully it was empty, I slammed the door shut and pushed Edward up against it, turning the locks.

"What the fuck?" He stuttered and the shocked expression on his face was almost comical.

"Now Mr. Cullen, you are gonna shut that pretty little mouth of yours up and listen to me."

"Your f-" He began, but I grabbed his dick tightly through his jeans, effectively silencing him.

Edward's eyes grew wide as he looked down on me, both excitement and confusion on his face.

"I said, don't talk." I whispered in his ear, tightening my grip on him and letting my lips touch his earlobe. I felt him shudder and smiled to myself, obviously this was a man who had never met a woman who took control.

"You don't know me Mr. Cullen, so I am prepared to forgive you for that shit you pulled before." I said, stroking him through the fabric of his jeans. He was so hard that I couldn't help but to press my body closer to him and I was pretty sure he could feel how erect my nipples were despite of my bra.

Edward groaned and placed his hands on my ass, pulling me into his erection and trying to gain friction against my body. I bit down on his neck a bit harder than necessary, and his hands gripped my backside tighter.

"Why don't you act like a good boy and finish what you started?" I breathed in his ear.

Before I had time to blink, I was the one pushed up against the door with Edward's hands on my hips.

"Oh I plan to finish alright, Miss Swan." Edward said roughly, his breathing uneven as he trailed his hands all over my body before stopping at my breasts. "I'm gonna give it to you until you're screaming my name, and if you behave, I'm gonna let you finish as well."

"That's some high stakes to live up to, you're sure you're man enough for it?"

"Baby, I'm man enough to make you come all night if I want to. The question is if you can handle me…"

I silenced him with a hot, open mouthed kiss, pushing away from the door to turn around and press him against the wall instead.

Seriously, this was like some kind of wrestling match. As soon as I had him where I wanted him, he turned us around and had me pinned against the wall instead. I would have laughed if it wasn't so frustrating. We were both trying to take charge, all the while kissing a bit rough and breathing harder.

"Well this isn't going to work" I said between kisses, and then used more strength than I thought I possessed to push him back. I kept my hands on his chest as I led him backwards until he was standing with the back of his thighs against the mahogany sink table.

"Compromise" Now I was the one to turn us around and he got where I was going right away, lifting me up and placing me on the table, standing between my legs.

"Ah, so we are capable of finding a middle ground after all." He breathed in my ear, brushing his lips against my skin.

I twisted my fingers in his hair and brought his soft, sweet lips to mine again. He tasted fucking amazing, like chocolate peppermint or something. I kind of wanted to bite him again.

Edward's fingers moved down from my waist and found their way under my dress, and I had to keep myself from laughing when his fingers suddenly froze. I leaned back and cocked an eyebrow at him and he looked quite befuddled for a second before that signature smirk was in place again.

"Lost something?" He sounded both amused and surprised as his fingers touched the naked skin where my panties should have been.

I shook my head no. "Oh no, I just figured out a better use for them" Then I couldn't help but moan softly as he started moving his fingers inside of me, at the same time as his lips trailed down my throat, stopping just above my cleavage.

"Unzip for me Miss. Swan." He ordered, and I didn't even bother to argue or anything, I just grabbed the zipper of my dress and pulled it all the way down, exposing my short, black-lace bustier and my stomach. And of course, my lack of panties.

Edward pulled back slightly but his fingers were still inside me, he looked me over with desire clear in his beautiful features. His mouth actually hung open as his eyes took in my almost naked body, lingering on my breasts.

He seemed to swallow hard before he spoke in a husky voice "As much as I love what you're wearing, I really need to see all of you right now."

I smirked at him, trying to look as composed as any woman sitting half naked before Edward Cullen with his fingers in her hooha could look. I took my hands out of his hair and reached behind me to undo the clasp. Edward was staring at my breasts expectantly, which was totally adorable actually and of course sexy as hell.

Ever heard of a cockblock? Well, it's when someone of something completely ruins the opportunity to have sex. It could also be described as Emmett McCarty.

Suddenly the doorknob turned, and apparently I hadn't locked that fucker like I thought I had. The result was that Emmett was now standing in the doorway, staring at the scene before him with wide eyes. For a few seconds, we were all frozen. And then all hell broke loose as Emmett started screaming.

"What the fuck is going on in here? Hells Bells what do you think you're doing? Get down from there and close that fucking dress up or I'm calling Charlie!"

"Emmett for Christ sake, turn the fuck around!" I yelled back, extremely aware that Edward's fingers where still inside me. Luckily his body covered me so that Emmett didn't get a full view peek show. Fuck, why did this have to happen? I wasn't even close to finished yet for crying out loud.

"I'll turn around when that fucker gets his bloody hands off of you Bella!"

"This is so not your business Emmett, get OUT!"

Edward slid his fingers out of me and grinned, a wicked gleam in his eyes. I was too upset to give him a snarky comment, so I just grabbed the zipper of my dress and pulled it up, covering myself again.

"Fuck, Bella. At least use the ladies room next time! Can't a guy take a leak without seeing his best friend's pussy being assaulted?"

"You didn't have to fucking stare Emmett, where are your freaking manners?"

"I kind of forgot about them when I saw little Bella hanging out!"

"Don't refer to my hooha as 'little Bella', that's so not even cute!" I spat back, and ignored Edward who looked like he was having some kind of seizure.

"What should I call it then? Fuzz nugget? Cum catcher? Fun box?" Emmett rambled, and Edward almost fell to the floor laughing. I watched him as he held on to the sink and clutched his stomach as tried to catch his breath, which was impossible as he was having fucking hysterics.

"Pootang, snatch, slop hole-"

"Alright!" I yelled, jumping off the sink. "That's enough, thank you very much Emmett."

"Hairy beav-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Okay, okay. Geez, I was gonna ask what crawled up your ass but I guess I already know. Get out of here so a guy can do his business, would ya?"

"Fine. Come on, we're leaving this fucker so he can play with his disco stick." I said, grabbing Edward's hand and starting to drag him towards the door.

"I'm Edward, I'd offer my hand but I think that would be rather uncomfortable for at least two of us." Edward said, pulling me to a stop.

I groaned, I really didn't want to prolong the awkwardness any longer. Emmett didn't seem to mind though, he held out a fist to Edward, who bumped it with his left hand.

"Emmett McCarty, old friend of Miss Poonanie here." Emmett chuckled, and if Edward wasn't there I would have stuck my tongue out at him.

"Ah, so you must know all her dirty secrets then?" Edward asked, sounding intrigued.

"Hell yeah! Though I don't know if dirty quite covers it and I'm pretty sure there are no secrets when it comes to Bella. This girl's got a thing for public se-"

"Fuck Emmett! Would you shut up?"

"Yeah yeah, sorry. Now get the fuck out lovebirds, I need to pee like a racehorse."

"Thanks for the visual." I muttered. "See you later cockblocker."

"Any time!" Emmett called after me as I pulled Edward with me and slammed the door close. I turned around and saw that Edward was staring at me with an amused expression.

"So… You like to do it in public, do you?" He smirked and I rolled my eyes. Of course he would have picked up on that one.

"Yeah. Not that you'll ever know Mr Edward 'I'm gonna make you scream my name' Cullen." I raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Edward surprised me with grabbing my waist and pulling me to him, and I could feel that he was still hard. That shit has gotta be painful.

"The night's not over yet…" He whispered in my ear, but I wasn't interested.

"Whatever, I'm gonna go dance now. You just go back to your harem, I'm sure one of them would be happy to help with that situation." I looked down at the bulge in his pants, and then I opened my clutch and took out my panties. I tucked them into the pocket of his jeans and winked at him. "Keep those if you get lonely tonight pretty boy". Then I turned and started walking towards the dance floor. There had been too much drama for one night, I needed to dance and relax before I could think about Edward Cullen and his more than frustrating behaviour again.

"Oh, I'm sure I won't be, Miss Swan." He called after me, a bit frostily.

Once back on the dance floor, I quickly spotted Kate and Angela who were dancing in the middle of the crowd. I made my way to them and told myself that I would just focus on enjoying myself the rest of the night, without any thoughts of Edward ruining my mood.

And damn did I enjoy myself or what? James found me again and we threw back shot after shot with tequila and danced for hours with his friends and mine. I noticed that Angela and James' friend Ben seemed to hit it off from the start, dancing close together and looking at each other with goo goo eyes. Good for her, I thought. Angela had been kind of down lately since she broke up with her long time boyfriend Eric, so I was happy to see her smiling like that again.

I couldn't stop myself from making out with James on the dance floor, it kind of went with the whole sexy dance thing we were doing. More than once I detected Edward's eyes on me from across the room. He was sitting by the bar, surrounded again with a group of women who he seemed to ignore all together. Shit, I wouldn't have minded if he loosened up a bit, it wasn't like I demanded monogamy from him or anything.

When my feet started to hurt too much from all the dancing, I decided it was best to start thinking about calling it a night. Well, actually it was almost morning by now. Angela and Kate had left a while ago, and Emmett had come by and said he was going and promising to call me the next day. I gestured to James' that I was leaving, and he followed me after saying good bye to his friends who were still dancing and didn't look like they'd be going home any time soon.

When we walked out of the club I spotted Edward, he was leaning against a wall, looking extremely drunk while some blonde chick had her mouth all over him.

I immediately regretted thinking that I wanted him to hook up with someone else, since seeing that bitch's hands on him did strange things to my stomach. I suddenly wanted to rip her fucking hair off and kick her freakishly huge ass. I bet she had had work done on it, no real ass looked like that. Not even JLo's.

Edward looked up then and met my gaze. I decided to ignore him and instead turned to James' who has hailing a cab for us.

"So, do you wanna come back to my place?" I asked, not really sure I wanted him to but at the same time needing something to distract my thoughts of Edward.

"Ah, you know I would gorgeous, but I have a plane to catch in like 2 hours. I wasn't supposed to stay out quite this late but then I met you and you had to be all sexy and making me lose track of time and shit." He laughed, and I couldn't help feeling a bit relieved. I liked James a lot and would probably want to see him again after tonight, he sure knew how to show a girl a good time.

"Oh that's okay." I said, and then added "raincheck?"

"Hell yeah, I'll be out of town for a few days in business, but we'll plan something once I get back, okay?" He said as a cab pulled over and he opened the door for me.

I nodded and than saw that Edward had pushed fake-ass girl away and was walking towards us, looking very unsteady. Was he that drunk? I quickly took James' hand and smiled up at him. "We can still share a cab, right? I promise to behave."

James laughed and fortunately followed me into the cab before Edward reached us, I gave the driver my address and we took off.

A few minutes later I was safely inside my apartment at last, and I groaned when I saw what time it was and that I was only going to get like 5 hours of sleep before I had to get up and go to work. Maybe I could call Esmee and ask her if I could work from home instead? I had everything I needed with me, and Esmee would understand. Hell, she'd applaud me for getting home so late.

Did I mention I loved my boss?

After removing my cloths, washing the make up off and getting dressed in my favourite sleep uniform, an old white t-shirt that had belonged to my dad once upon a time and a pair of hotpants, I climbed into bed, exhausted.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, there was a knock on the door. I sat up, a bit disorientated and stumbled out of bed, heading for the door. Who the fuck was going around knocking on peoples doors at 5 in the morning?

I glanced through the peephole in the door, and when I spotted a man laying on the floor against the opposite wall I quickly turned the locks and pulled the door open.

What the hell? Edward Cullen was curled up in a ball, smelling strongly of alcohol and smoke, just outside my front door. I looked around in the hallway but no one else was to be seen, thank god. Very aware that I was only wearing a pair of panties and an almost see through t-shirt, I tip toed over to where he lay and kneeled in front of him.

"Edward" I hissed, poking his arm.

He just muttered something incoherent and didn't even move.

"Edward for fuck sake, get off the floor before someone sees you!"

"You get off the floor…" He mumbled, still not moving.

"I'm not on the floor you idiot. Are you going to move or am I going to have to drag you?"

Turns out, I did. And shit, he was heavy as hell. I grabbed his feet and pulled him into my apartment, closing the door and then I went to get him a glass of water from the kitchen. When I returned Edward was nowhere to be seen, and I thought for a second that he had left again. Then I heard a loud thump coming from my bedroom, and hurried over there to see what had caused it.

Edward Cullen, CEO of Masen Enterprises, multi millionaire, respected business man and New York's most eligible bachelor, was passed out on my bed with his head on my pink, fluffy rabbit that I had gotten from Rose and Alice when I turned eight.

Was it very wrong that I wanted to take a picture of him right now? Shit, if I would send it to one of those gossip magazines I'd get serious money for it. I thought about it for a second, and then picked up my phone and snapped a picture.

I wouldn't sell it, but I would definitely be looking at it myself.

After I put the phone down I started to get to work on Edward, pulling his shoes and socks off and then his jacket. He didn't wake once, not even when I pulled his jeans off, leaving him laying across my bed only wearing a pair of black boxers.

Shit, it should be illegal to look as good as he did. My mouth was almost fucking watering at the sight of him in my bed.

I pulled back the covers a bit roughly, but once again he just slept right through it, and then I got in beside him and pulled the covers back up. Edward started snoring and I couldn't help but to think the sound was adorable, coming from this control freak of a man who always seemed so perfect at first glance. And second glance. Probably third and fourth as well…

I turned the lights off and snuggled into my pillow, trying not to think about the fact that the most gorgeous man on the planet was laying just two feet from me.

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, Edward suddenly mumbled my name and turned around, placing his face between my breasts and sighing contently in his sleep.

Oh shit, I desperately hoped Esmee would allow me the day off tomorrow…

How about a review just because Drunkward is totally adorable? I mean, who wouldn't wanna snuggle with him all night? Come ooon, show me some love and I'll show you some... eh, love. In a dirrrty way of course.