Chapter Four - Took care of the cat already

Two weeks had passed after James' sudden declaration of love. He didn't mention it anymore, didn't pressure her to saying anything about it. And yet, Lily felt still awkward about patrolling with him. He hadn't made a move since and Lily feared it might be the reason for her confusion and tension. Maybe she wanted him to do something about it. Maybe she wanted him to tell her again just to be sure he really meant it. Means it. Marlene thought so, too. She had a good long pep talk with Lily, trying to get her to realize her feelings towards James had changed quite a lot since the beginning of the year. But surly, one's view on someone couldn't change within a month. Or could they? She was just confused, Lily decided, confused and nothing more. She didn't like or dislike him anymore than a few weeks ago.

Sighing, Lily took a look at the moon. Although most of it was covered by clouds, it was glistering in the sky, tinting the nightly scene beautifully silver. Already time to head off, to leave behind Marlene with her essay for Defence Against The Dark Arts.

"Off we go then?" James asked softly, as he stepped next to her, smiling.

"Off we go", Lily nodded her reply before following him out of the Common Room.

As the last times, James was rather quiet. Before the first patrol, Lily would have expected him to blabber about anything all the time, but no. He wasn't much of a talker. At least not around her. Not anymore. Maybe he never has been. She didn't quite now. Everything which had happened between them she tried to re-adjust to the recent changes in James. Though today, James was different than the other times. Today, James was somehow nervous. He was quicker. Usually, he walked rather slowly. Maybe to savour the rare time they had together? Oh, snap out of it!, Lily told herself. No need to go down that path. He and his stupid actions were messing with her head again.

"What's the matter with you?"

"With me? Why?" He raised his eyebrow high above his glasses. They actually looked kinda nice on him. She wondered how he would look without them.

"You walk so fast."

"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to." He shot her an apologetic smile and slowed down his speed.

"It's alright, I was just wondering why."

"Because I sort of kind of have to leave you patrolling on your own..." James admitted, "But I'll make up for it, I promise! Before a test or when you have a very important essay to write or even when you have a date, I promise I'll patrol on my own. Even two nights in a row, no problem at all."

"Why? Do you have a date you need to go to?"

"Not really a date but yeah, sort of a date."

"Oh. Okay then, I guess."

"It's not a date with a girl, if you think so, really. It's not", James hurried to explain to her, "I'm meeting the Marauders."

"And what could be so important to discuss that cannot wait 'til we have finished patrolling? You see them all the time. You talk to them all the time."

"Nature never waits."

His cryptic sentences were all Greek to her. Nature never waits? Sounds as if he had to go to the loo.

"Nature never waits. It shifts and then there it goes."

"Right now, you're as clear as mud."

"You know what I'm talking about, Evans." James stopped and shot her a glance. Once he seemed sure that her eyes were locked on his – and he had some very pretty eyes -, James turned towards the huge window, his gaze followed by Lily's.

"You know it, don't you? I see how you look at Moony. Damn, we're not even subtle. His name's Moony. Remus Lupin. Remus, as the guy raised by wolves. Lupin as lupus, the Latin word for moon. His name practically gives it away. His dad's name was Lyall which means wolf. His mum's maiden name was Howell, which sounds like to howl."

She finally understood. She was finally sure of what she had suspected. The clouds were on the verge of giving the moon his freedom to shine brightly on the castle, illuminate every single stone on its outside, every blade of grass.

"Yes, I know", she whispered. Whispering seemed appropriate. One could never know who was listening. "And his name really gives it away, his – how do you always put it so nicely? – his furry little problem. Marlene is certain Remus's just a very hairy guy, but..."

"But you've figured it all out, haven't you, you clever woman?"

"I have, yes. In fifth year, actually."

"Why did you never tell him? I thought you two had a rather okay-ish relationship. Was it too personal?"

She shrugged her shoulders. Indeed, why didn't she? Maybe she could've helped him, somehow. Maybe she didn't want to get dragged into it. Maybe she didn't like the thought of knowing something so personal without being told. As if she had sneaked into his life, read his personal diary or something like it.

"I guess I always felt as if I'd betrayed him in some way. Do you know what I mean?" Finally, she turned away from the sky, facing James again. "I think in figuring it out, I took his chance to tell me his deepest and darkest secret. I never wanted him to know in order to not freak him out. Maybe he would've been afraid that I could threaten him. That Severus would find out through me. Though he never did. Whenever Severus talked about Remus' odd behaviour, I'd shrug it off."

"Thank you." He smiled at her, a smile sweet as honey drops themselves. And why the hell did she think of it that way? "It would've been awful if Snape had ever found out. Just imagine the damage he would've most certainly done to Moony's life."

"Part of why I never told him. By the time I found out, he was already buried deep in the Dark Arts. I never wanted anyone to hurt Remus. He's such a sweet and kind person. So, if you've got to go and be with him tonight, I'm perfectly fine with it. If it helps him to have you and the others with him, then leave."

"And this is why I love you." James winked at her and turned back to watch the sky. "He really needs our help, he does so much. We prevent him from harming himself. It would end in a mess without us."

"Quite confident about your role in everything, aren't you?" She smiled at his profile, before, too, facing the sky and the clouds and the stars.

They looked beautiful. Eternally beautiful. Lily tried to imagine the number of stars, the possibilities. If there was life on only one percent of them, how would it look like? Would they think as humans do? Were they magical? And if so, in the same way she and James were?

"I sure am. He chases me, he attacks me. He plays and fights with Padfoot. Just so he doesn't harm himself. He needs us. Just as much as we need him."

They stood together for a while in complete silence. It wasn't awkward this time. No tension in Lily herself, no mixed feelings, no confusion. In this particular moment, she just liked James Potter. Saw him as a really nice guy who'd do anything for his friends.

The silence was broken violently, by an aggressive howl followed by a different sort of cry.

"Shit! Shit! It... the moon isn't even out yet! Shit! Evans, I'm so sorry, I really have to leave." He started running, Lily close to his heels, following him, of course. "Please stay inside the castle, don't go out to check on what we're doing. Just don't", he shouted at her in something similar to panic, "I know you'd love to, little Miss Curious, but curiosity took care of the cat already and I don't want it to kill the most beautiful flower on earth as well."

"But maybe I could help!" she panted, as she tried to keep up with a freaking athlete. "I am good at Charms, I can help! I've read a lot about werewolves!"

"You can't! You can't go outside the castle, Lily, stay here!" She knew by now, when he said her name, her proper name, her first name, something must be so wrong. Still, she didn't want to give up just yet.

"But please, James, please! I can help! He knows me! I'm sure I can help."

Reaching the front door, James suddenly stopped, catching her in his arms. "Promise me to not follow me. Lily, promise. It's dangerous."

She nodded silently; his seriousness made her believe him, made her trust him. "I'll stay inside."

"Good girl." He quickly kissed her forehead before vanishing through the doors, out into the night. But Lily being Lily, she couldn't stay inside. She was way too curious, way too courageous. She was a Gryffindor after all! Quickly and as silently as possible, she followed him.

What Lily saw, she could have never dreamed. She could swear he had been there, just a second ago! But now all she could see was a stag, beautifully painted in the moonlight. Did James just... no, that was not possible. How could he? McGonagall could, but James? And if James could, could the others, too? Even Peter? Impossible! But she knew what James had meant, why he wanted her to stay inside.

Far in the distance, she could see it. Only shadows, but she could see the stag being attacked by what must be Remus' werewolf-self. There was another animal as well, a huge dog or a bear. Hollers of pain and agony filled the night. She used to believe it was the ghost in the Shrieking Shack. Maybe she has been wrong all along. Turning away from the horror, Lily finished her tour through the castle, double-checking every possible way out.

Back in the Common Room, she got herself a book, waiting for everyone to leave. She was rather certain that the Marauders weren't to come back before long after midnight. And she should be right.

It was nearly three in the morning as a loud thump woke her up. A bit confused, she found herself on an armchair in front of the blazing fire, woken up by the portrait being shut.

"James..." Swiftly, she stood up to examine the Marauders. "Where's Remus? What happened?"

"Why are you awake and Prongs, what the hell? Did you tell her?"

"She already knew, Padfoot, calm down", James told him without ever taking his eyes off Lily, not even for a second. "Remus's fine. He's at the Hospital Wing, but nothing to worry about. A few bruises and a broken leg. He'll be fine by tomorrow."

"And what about you? You like as if you're in pain."

"He is", Sirius answered for James, "but he'll tell you all about it, won't he?" Sirius smirked at his best friend, softly patting him on the back. "We'll be heading upstairs, Wormy and me. Use the tincture Madame Pomfrey gave you. For once, use it. I'm serious, James."

"I know you are. You've been the last 17 years and sometimes even with lights on."

"Smart ass."

"Pun-dit."

"Love you, too, Charming."

"Go to bed, you prick."

"Aye aye, Captain." Sirius grinned and ruffled James' hair, heading off to their dormitory, quickly followed by Peter.

Lily couldn't help but smile a bit at the boys' interaction. They were rather cute together, just like brothers teasing each other. But she'd never admit it.

"So what happened?" Lily asked worriedly, "Are you alright? Do you want to sit down?"

"Did you wait all night? Down here, just for me to come back?" The freaking smirk crept on his face, but Lily couldn't care less.

"Yes, I did. I saw you... change. Like McGonagall changed during our first lesson of Transfiguration ever."

"Oh, that. Curiosity, am I right?" He let himself fall onto the sofa next to her armchair, stretching out his legs and closing his eyes. "So you waited up to ask me if I'm an Animagus?"

"Yes. No. I... I waited because I wanted to make sure you're okay. I saw you being attacked by Remus."

"Oh, that." He just waved his hand, "nothing spectacular. Had worse, really."

"You do this every full moon?" She sat down on the sofa, right next to James, "every month? And the others?"

"A rat and a huge-as-fuck black dog."

"So... you really can transform? When did you learn? How did you learn? How did you find out about Remus?"

"Is this going to be a quiz? Evans, I'm really tired and worn out. See, when I came in and you were there, I thought you'd actually waited for me. Not to feed your curiosity. But for me. Guess I've been wrong. Well, shouldn't surprise me, should it? You want answers? Here it goes: Yes we can transform. We learned about Remus in our second year and have been training to become Animagi ever since. We succeeded in our fifth year. We learned via books from the Restricted Section in the library and via practice in private. We found out by accident. There you go, answers. And I'll be heading off now." He opened his eyes again, wanting to stay up, but Lily softly pushed him back into the sofa.

"I wanted answers, yes. But I did wait for you to come back. I was so worried and I couldn't have gone to bed without knowing that you're alright and not hurt. Trust me. I mean it." But she could tell he didn't really buy it. How could he? She couldn't blame him, with their history.

"Maybe someday, when you're not tired and cranky and I'm not tired and cranky, you can tell me how exactly everything works and how you found out. If you want to. If you feel like trusting me and sharing the quite precious information with me. I'd be honoured. But for now... Black said something about a tincture. Show me. What is it for?"

"Just some cuts and wounds. Remus does have sharp fangs and claws, blimey! You really wanna see?"

"Sure. I've read a lot about cuts and bruises and I want to learn how to heal them. For future reference."

"Well, Madame Pomfrey can never heal them by herself. That's what the tincture's for."

As James took off his tie and shirt, she tried hard not to stare. He was an athlete and his body certainly did show it. Up to this point, Lily didn't even know that a chest could be so attractive, let alone a collar bone. How could a collar bone even be hot?

"You've scars all over your body..."

"We've been doing this for two years now. Some friendly turns stay longer than others."

She chuckled lightly and nodded. "Alright. And the tincture is for the new wounds? I suppose you haven't used it on the old ones as regularly as you should've? At least Black sounded like it."

"It stings! It really does!" James defended himself, "it burns and tickles and I really don't like it. Also, I can't properly reach some spots and after I asked Padfoot for help and he kept pressing the stupid cotton swab right into the wounds, I don't trust him with those things anymore."

"Then I'll do it. From now on, I'll do it. Hand me the bottle and the swabs."

James looked rather pleased with himself as he gave her the tincture.

Lily began applying it carefully and the black haired boy did wince once in a while. Not as bad as she would've thought, though.

"Yeah, you probably made that up just for me to touch you, didn't you? Jerk." But she smiled rather than being cross with him.

"Padfoot really did hurt me with those things and it really stings." He let out a yawn, covering his mouth quickly, "Sorry, it was a long night."

"Never mind. Off you go then. Sleep well, James." She smiled at him and lightly squeezed his hand before yawning herself.

"Off you go, too. Sleep tight, Lily, and don't let the bed-bugs bite."

She chuckled once more. "I won't, I promise."