I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. It's exam week for me, so I've had trouble finding the time to write. But, anyway, here it is! Thank you for your patience and for reading/reviewing. Now, without further ado, on with the chapter!

37. Where Have You Gone, Sasuke Uchiha?

I did it.

These were the words repeating over and over in Sasuke's head as he lay in bed, Naruto's arm draped across his chest. Indeed, he had done it. He'd told himself he was going to do it, and he'd done it. He'd had sex with Naruto. It was weird, painful, and wonderful, but more than anything else, it was frightening.

Of course, that fear wasn't there right away. After they'd finished, he and Naruto had simply lain in bed, feeling relaxed in content. Then, a few minutes later, Naruto had suggested they wash up, which they did, showering together while firmly embracing each other.

Once they returned to bed, however, Sasuke's mind began to wander. Naruto was apparently oblivious, as he fell asleep soon after, leaving Sasuke to his thoughts. He wasn't even sure how long he had been lying awake, staring up at the ceiling. When he tried to catch a glimpse of the clock, he found a pair of Naruto's boxers draped over it, obscuring the numbers. All he knew was that, at some point, he heard Kiba return, with Akamaru's yips accompanying the sound of the door clamping shut. For all Sasuke knew, though, that had been an hour ago.

I… I love him. How could I let myself fall for him like this? I've grown attached to him… I can't even imagine life without him. I knew this would happen… why didn't I just leave him when I had the chance?

Just the thought made Sasuke's heart race and caused cold sweat to run down his face. This was real. He couldn't just ignore these feelings, and he couldn't delay acting on them any longer. Something had to be done. But what?

As far as he could tell, there was nothing he could do. He was too close to Naruto now – he couldn't just call the whole thing off. At the same time, though, the fear of what could happen was overwhelming. Visions of his parents lying dead on the floor kept popping back up in his head. He felt like he was going to pass out as his heart beat faster and his palms grew sweaty.

I need to get away… just for a while. I need to think this over…

Slowly and carefully, Sasuke moved Naruto's hand off of his chest and slid out from under the covers. It was only after his feet touched the ground that he noticed the pain in his backside – apparently losing your virginity hurt like hell. Though it was relatively dull right then, Sasuke knew perfectly well that he'd barely be able to walk by morning. After stumbling around briefly in the dark, he found his clothes and got dressed as quietly as possible before slipping out of Naruto's room, gently sealing the door shut behind him.

Tiptoeing down the hall, Sasuke cringed as the floorboards creaked, pausing at the slightest sound lest he wake either Naruto or Kiba. It was only when the Uchiha reached the front door, however, that he realized that he'd overlooked something, for curled up in a ball on the floor was Akamaru. Though Sasuke tried to get by the puppy without waking it, he knew it was useless. No sooner had he placed a hand on the door than he heard Akamaru whimper, at which point Sasuke sighed and knelt down.

"It's okay, little guy – I'm just heading out for a bit. Need some fresh air," Sasuke said, patting the dog on the head and scratching it just below the chin. "I'll be back, okay?"

Seeming to understand, Akamaru bobbed its head and curled back up into a ball, allowing Sasuke to step outside silently. It was only then that Sasuke realized what, by all means, he should have before – it was pouring. Deciding it was too late to turn back now, the Uchiha took off running, the rain matting down his raven hair as he darted down the stairs and into the apartment complex's parking lot.

Good thing Akamaru kept quiet… I don't want to have to explain to Naruto why I'm leaving in the middle of the night like this.

Waiting at an intersection, Sasuke smiled to himself. He could remember the first time he'd met Akamaru – he still had the faint scar on his hand where he'd been bitten. Apparently the dog had grown used to Sasuke, though – like he was part of the family. It wrenched his heart, in a way, knowing that it was just that kind of connection that made Sasuke worried the most. Family. Friendship. Love. They were all great while they lasted, but they were so fragile. Anything could come along and split it apart – an accident, a change of heart. And that was the worst part of it: the knowledge that those wonderful feelings could be lost forever. That Sasuke might wake up tomorrow to find Naruto gone – never to feel his embrace again, to see his smile, to run his hands through his sunshine hair.

Sasuke shivered. He wasn't sure if it was just from the cold rain beating against his skin.

The light changed, and Sasuke ran forward, his feet splashing through the growing puddles as he ran to nowhere in particular. He wasn't even conscious of the turns he was making – his body was taking him of its own volition, while his mind struggled to grasp his new realization.

Love… why does it have to be so damn difficult?

When Sasuke finally stopped, he stared in momentary confusion at where his body had decided to take him. Something about it seemed familiar, but the swirling thoughts in his mind forced him to consider it for a moment. Then it hit him – Kakashi's apartment. Naturally, Sasuke would come to one of the few people he trusted to discuss his dilemma. Shikamaru was unavailable – he'd heard what Kiba said about him having to console Temari – so Kakashi was the next logical choice.

Rushing up to the door, the Uchiha rang the bell and waited, his clothes sopping wet. Though he was still horribly overwhelmed, there was a hint of anticipation in the teen's eyes as the door swung open. Kakashi would know what to do. Kakashi would help.

"Sasuke? What are you doing out here so late?"

Sasuke simply stared up at the teacher, his anticipation giving way to horror. He wasn't sure why, but something about the look in Kakashi's eye told him that something was wrong. Kakashi was different. Yes, he wasn't wearing his mask, but Sasuke wasn't particularly horrified by that. He had seen his face before, albeit rarely. It wasn't even that Kakashi had answered the door in his boxers, or that he reeked of sweat and pleasure.

No – the problem was that Kakashi was happy. Not the fake happiness that he wore like his trademark mask on a day-to-day basis, but genuine happiness – the kind Sasuke used to see in him when Obito was still alive. Kakashi had met someone. He'd changed.

What was worse, though, was how that someone was. At first Sasuke only saw it out of the corner of his eye, but as the nearly-naked brunet stumbled forward, planting an intoxicated kiss on Kakashi's cheek, there was no mistaking it.

"I-Iruka?" he exclaimed, barely even acknowledging Kakashi's question.

Iruka glanced down at teen, bleary-eyed. "Sasuke? What izzit? Di' you 'ave a bad dream? Ha ha ha…"

"Sasuke, it's not what it looks like," Kakashi said hurriedly, seeing the spark of realization in the teen's eye.

"You mean the two of you… but… he's Naruto's…" Sasuke stammered, backing away from the door in disgust.

"Sasuke! Wait!" Kakashi exclaimed as the Uchiha darted down the path to the stairs, disappearing into the growing storm.

Of course, Sasuke paid no heed to the teacher's protestations. He'd seen enough to come to his own decision. To think that Kakashi would be involved with Naruto's dad. Yes, they weren't technically related, but Sasuke viewed Kakashi as a sort of father figure – not an ideal father figure, but the best father figure that he had – and to think that he was dating Iruka just made Sasuke shudder. It was like the most convoluted form of incest he'd ever seen.

This is too much… too much happening at once. First love, now family?

Family seemed to be what Sasuke's brain latched onto, for he soon found himself standing outside the Uchiha mansion, following another ten minute run through the rain. Again, though his hopes of refuge were dashed immediately by the sight of red and blue lights, accompanied by the wail of sirens.

"Sasuke Uchiha! There you are!"

Turning around, Sasuke found himself staring into the eyes of a familiar, white-haired police officer, who appeared to be all business on this particular night. "Officer Jiraiya? What's going on here? Where's Itachi?"

"I'm afraid Itachi's been arrested, Sasuke," Jiraiya admitted gravely.

"What for?" the younger Uchiha asked, noting the seriousness in the officer's eyes.

"For the murder of Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha."

Sasuke stared up at Jiraiya in disbelief, his blood running cold. "You mean… Mom and Dad?"

Jiraiya nodded slowly. "I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. We'll need you to come down to the station to answer a few questions as well."

"No! That… that can't be!" Sasuke exclaimed, clutching his throbbing head in dismay. "He couldn't have…"

The more Sasuke thought about it, though, the more it made sense. The way Itachi seemed so relaxed after they died. The fact that he hadn't shed a tear – not one – at their funeral. Sasuke had thought he was just hiding his emotions, trying to remain strong, or that he was just a cold bastard. Never before had he pegged his own brother as a murderer, though.

"Where is he?" the teen asked abruptly, catching Jiraiya momentarily off guard.

"Oh, he's in the back of that squad car there. Of course, I can't let you talk to him – not until we've taken him downtown."

Sasuke didn't want to talk to Itachi, though. He only wanted to look at him – to see if there was any sign of guilt in his brother's eyes. Even from across the yard, Sasuke could just make out Itachi's red eyes in the dark. They were staring right at him. The sight made Sasuke's skin tingle while his heart sank.

It was worse than he'd feared. There was no guilt in Itachi's eyes – for a moment, Sasuke thought that was a good thing. That maybe, just maybe, Jiraiya had the wrong man. After just a moment, though, Sasuke realized that there was no emotion whatsoever in Itachi's eyes. No betrayal. No fear. No sorrow. No anger. Just acceptance – as if he had been waiting years for this moment: his inevitable arrest.

Sasuke wanted to vomit.

"Now, Sasuke, if you just want to come along with me…" Jiraiya began, eyeing the elder Uchiha in the squad car with a combination of pity and disgust. When he turned around, though, he discovered that Sasuke was long gone, having darted off once more into the rain. "Hey! Somebody stop him!"

As Sasuke sprinted through the pouring rain, the footsteps of shouting police officers following not far behind, his mind raced in panic. He couldn't deal with all of this. Love, family, murder, betrayal – it was all too much.

I have to get away… anywhere, I don't care. I just need to get away from all this…

Emerging from the neighborhood, Sasuke continued down the sidewalk for a moment before darting across the street, cars blaring their horns as they screeched to halt, narrowly avoiding the frantic Uchiha. Moments later, he darted down an alleyway and hid behind a dumpster, not even daring to breathe as he listened to his pursuers dart past. It was then, sitting in a puddle in the middle of grungy alley, that Sasuke had an idea. He pulled out his cell, dialed the familiar number, and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey, O," Sasuke said, almost crying in relief. "Do you guys have room for one more?"

xxxxx

Sakura Haruna sat on her front porch that night, staring out at the storm in depression. She had tried to get to sleep – she knew she'd need the beauty rest – but somehow it didn't seem worthwhile. After all, no matter how pretty she tried to be, no matter how she dressed or how she wore her hair, it wouldn't make Sasuke notice her. He hated her. It was as simple as that.

Still, when the girl saw the raven-haired teen strolling past her house, his clothes soaked, she felt her heart jump in hope. Maybe he'd come to confess his undying love for her? It was crazy, but Sakura wasn't going to let that kind of reasoning stop her from saying something.

"Sasuke? What are you doing out here so late?" she asked, leaning against a wooden post, the rain just barely falling on her toes.

Much to her surprise, Sasuke didn't simply walk by, pretending not to notice his classmate. Instead, he stopped, staring straight forward, before turning slowly towards the girl. As if that wasn't strange enough, Sakura found him laughing.

"Going for a stroll. Great night for it, isn't it?"

"I don't understand… why? Look at you! You're soaked!" the pink-haired girl replied, her voice heavy with concern.

Sasuke considered it for a moment and gazed upward, the rain running down his face as he chuckled. "I'm leaving, Sakura. I have to get away from here."

Sakura's eyes widened. "What do you mean? Leaving school?"

Sasuke shook his head. "No. Konoha."

As the Uchiha started up the stairs to Sakura's porch, the girl tried to fathom what had brought around this sudden change. "But… how? Where will you go?"

"Suna – a friend of mine's heading there this weekend. I just need to escape from all of this, you know?" Sasuke continued, plopping down on the porch swing.

"Well… when is he leaving? Are you even bringing anything with you? Where's your suitcase?"

"This is sort of a last minute decision," he confessed, swinging back and forth with an odd sort of nonchalance. It was almost as if he was numb – like he was hiding something big, and trying his best to laugh it all. Sakura found it unsettling. "We're not supposed to leave for another hour or so."

"Well… maybe you should come inside. You can dry off, and maybe I can find you an umbrella," Sakura said, opening the door for the Uchiha. "You'll get sick running around in wet clothes all day."

Without a word, Sasuke nodded and rose from the swing, following the pink-haired girl inside. Sakura led him down to the laundry room, where she opened the dryer and turned to the teen, blushing slightly. "Well… are you going to hand them over, or what?"

"Hand what over?"

"Your clothes," Sakura replied, her blush deepening.

With a shrug, Sasuke proceed to peel off the saturated clothes, stripping off his sticky black shirt first, then his socks and black pants, removing his wallet and cell phone in the process. Trying to keep her eyes above waist level, Sakura took the clothes and tossed them into the dryer before turning it on. It was only after turning again that both she and Sasuke noticed the last article of clothing he had on – bright orange boxerbriefs.

Sasuke stared down at them and, for the first time, showed a sign of emotion: embarrassment. He ran a hand down his face before climbing on top of the washer. "I appreciate this."

"It's fine, really," Sakura said, taking another glance at the orange clothing. She knew as well as he did whose underwear they were, so there was no point in avoiding the inevitable topic. "So… did you and Naruto have a fight or something? Is that why you're leaving?"

"No. We had sex," Sasuke confessed with unusual nonchalance. It caught Sakura completely off guard. "Don't act so surprised – you knew about us after all, didn't you?"

Sakura rubbed her bare arms nervously, suddenly wishing she had picked something besides her short-sleeved red blouse. "To tell you the truth… I didn't see anything that day."

Sasuke seemed unfazed. "You probably had your suspicions, though. That accusation didn't come out of nowhere, I'm sure."

"I guess you're right…" the pink-haired girl responded, shifting her feet awkwardly. "I guess I kind of knew what you and Naruto were planning. He came into the store the other day to buy supplies."

"So many condoms," the Uchiha chuckled as he shook his head.

"Do you mind if I ask why you're leaving, then? Like, what went wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Sasuke sighed. "He was wonderful."

Sakura's face scrunched up in confusion. "Then what's the problem?"

"I just need some time to think, I suppose. It's been a rough day." Sasuke confessed, furrowing his brow in apparent frustration. "Well, I've answered your question. Now, it's your turn: why didn't you tell everyone about me and Naruto?"

"You really want to know?" Sakura asked, shooting the other teen a glance. Sasuke's steady expression was a clear enough answer. She sighed. "The truth is… I just couldn't do it, Sasuke. After you humiliated me in the cafeteria the other day, I wanted to blurt it out. I wanted to tell everyone about you and Naruto, but… I knew it would hurt you."

"So what? That didn't stop you from trying to split me and Naruto up."

"I know… but, I guess I thought you'd be happier with me. I'd convinced myself of that somehow – that you were just confused, and that you couldn't bring yourself to reveal your true feelings to me," Sakura said, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I know it's stupid, but I was desperate. When you shot me down like that, though, I knew it was pointless for me to hope. Logically, that is. You can't tell your heart not to love someone, though. It doesn't like to listen."

"Do you mean…?"

Sakura nodded. "I loved you too much to hurt you, even though I knew you'd never love me in return. I'm just sorry I ever interfered."

The dryer buzzed. The two teens stared at it for a moment before Sasuke turned his attention back on the pink-haired girl. "Well… I guess it's time for me to get going."

"Right," Sakura said as she opened the dryer, pulling out the toasty clothes for the Uchiha. As he got dressed, she worked up the courage to ask a final question. "Sasuke… just one last thing."

"Yeah?"

"Why did you tell me all of this? Like, where you're going, why you're leaving…"

As he slipped on his shirt, Sasuke considered this, his lips curling into a smile. "I don't know. Maybe it's because you didn't tell anyone about me and Naruto. I needed someone I could trust… at lest for a while. Consider it a test."

Sakura's heart jumped. "Then… you don't hate me?"

Heading up the stairs, Sasuke ignored the girl's question until they arrived at the door. It was then that he remembered why he had come inside in the first place – the storm outside was still raging. "Sorry, did you say you had an umbrella I could use?"

"Oh, right, of course," the pink-haired girl replied, clinging to the lingering hope that Sasuke might still actually like her. After rummaging around in the closet for a moment, she drew forth a black umbrella, which she handed to the other teen. "There you go – it's a little old, but it should do the trick."

"You'll make someone very happy someday, Sakura – just not me. I'm sorry." Opening the umbrella, Sasuke stepped out onto the porch and into the storm. As the rain beat down on the umbrella, though, he turned to the girl and smiled. "Oh, and Sakura – thank you."

Feeling a brief pang in her heart, Sakura nodded and watched the boy of her dreams disappear into the darkness. It hurt, knowing she would never be able to have him, but at the same time, she now knew, at the very least, that he thought she was a good person. He liked her, just not in the same way she liked him. And, oddly enough, that was all she needed.

xxxxx

"Are you sure about this, Sasuke?"

"It's like I told you on the phone – I have to get away from here. At least for a little while."

"Well, we're more than happy to have you. You'll have to bunk with me at the hotel, of course. Hope that's okay?"

"It's fine. I can't expect you to change your arrangements at the last minute, O."

"Very well – then hop aboard the Sound Village Express."

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke stepped onboard the old VW van with O, Kabuto, Tayuya, and Kidomaru. This was what he needed. Even if it was only temporary, he needed this escape. He only hoped Sakura could keep a secret for more than a day or two. As the van rolled out of the gas station and down the highway, however, this concern slipped from the Uchiha's mind. It had been a long night, and soon he slipped off into a troubled sleep.

Well, there you have it. Sorry it's a bit shorter this time, but this sets up the coming events, as I'm sure you've probably guessed. How will Naruto react to Sasuke'sabsence? And what will Sakura do, given the knowledge at her disposal? And what about Sasuke? With the knowledge of Iruka and Kakashi, his feelings for Naruto, and, most shockingly, the implication of Itachi in the murder of his parents, how will he hold up on his trip to Suna? All this and more in the next chapter of For Naruto, Whenever I May Find Him. And, as always, remember to review!