THIRTY-THREE

Serena turned off the TV and took deep, even breaths, all in an attempt to hold back tears that threatened to fall. It was no use, though, as she soon found herself sobbing into her hands and blanket. Once she felt like there were no more tears to cry, Serena wiped her face dry with her hand and leaned back in her bed. She felt pathetic, crying like this. It wouldn't bring back any of the dead, or rebuild Lumiose. Thank goodness the door to her room was closed, so nobody could see her.

There was a soft, timid knock on the door. "Come in," she said hoarsely, and watched as the door slowly opened. It felt like time froze when she saw Augustine step into the room, wearing a baggy T-shirt and jeans that were too short, and holding a single pink rose in his hand.

She watched him, and he watched her. Neither spoke, but Serena saw it all in those big, expressive eyes of his. Augustine looked at her with complete disbelief, mixed with happiness, like she was an angel that graced him with her presence. He soon turned his eyes away, however, choosing to focus on his feet.

"H-how are you doing?" Serena asked him. Several thoughts ran through her mind: thank goodness he survived, she really wanted to hug and kiss him, but he didn't deserve kisses because he betrayed her, where did he find new clothes, how would he feel if he knew she blew up Lumiose . . . .

"I . . . I'm well," said Augustine in response, still not looking at her.

Serena nodded awkwardly. "Good," she said quickly.

There was a moment of tense, uncomfortable silence, during which Augustine shifted back and forth on his feet and Serena pondered what she should say next, if anything.

"Serena . . . ." Augustine said, finally making eye contact with her. "I-I-uh . . . erm . . . um . . . ."

"You sold me out to Team Flare," she reminded him grimly as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Yes, I did," admitted Augustine. "I know it's not an excuse, but he threatened to take my Pokemon away and subject them to that procedure."

"That makes you a good Trainer but a lousy boyfriend."

Augustine nodded in agreement. "The lousiest. I was a fool, and a coward, and I'm so sorry. I'll always be sorry. You don't need to forgive me, and I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore."

Serena bit her lip. "Look, Augustine –" she started, taking a split second to imagine their roles reversed after she admitted to destroying Lumiose. "I would still like to, you know, be a couple. But – but –"

"You don't trust me anymore," interrupted Augustine.

"Not completely," said Serena. "My friends told me that you came up with the idea to go down to the Team Flare facility and try to help me."

"I Mega Evolved Garchomp, and it was amazing. You should have seen it. We fought our way out of Geosenge just fine, but the air patrols outside the prison were too much for Garchomp to handle, so we decided to turn back to the city instead," Augustine recounted.

"Some knight in shining armor you are," quipped Serena.

"I met up with your friends there, and we were on our way when . . . ."

There was a beat of silence.

"Serena, I've lost almost everything now. My whole life was in Lumiose, after all," said Augustine. He shuffled forward slightly, closer to her bed. "But those were all material things. All I really need, all that's really important, is right here." He held his hands forward, gesturing towards Serena. "You mean so much to me, and I swear on my life that I'm going to do whatever it takes to become a man worthy of you."

Not after he finds out, Serena thought. Nonetheless, his words touched her, and she held out her hand towards him. Augustine stepped closer, and closer, until finally he lunged forward, throwing his arms around Serena and hugging her even tighter than he did at their midnight meeting. Serena hugged him back, hiding her face in his shoulder and ignoring how stiff the fabric of his shirt was. He was rubbing her back in a circular motion, and she smiled when she felt his lips tenderly press against the top of her head. It was easy, losing herself again, feeling like there was nothing else in the world but her and him as they wordlessly held one another.

She turned her head to the side, resting her cheek and ear on his chest, hearing and feeling his heartbeat. "So what are you going to do now?" she asked him.

"Ruiné le moment," muttered Augustine. "I, uh, haven't gotten that far yet. But I suppose . . . I could build another lab and carry on my research as usual, even though this is all obviously a major setback –"

Of course she ruined his career, Serena chastised herself.

"- Or I could open a café. In the meantime, though, your mother has graciously offered me the guest bedroom of her house."

"I'm going home to Vaniville . . . we'll finally be living together, but with my mom," snickered Serena. "I'll have an extra set of eyes to keep an eye on you and make sure you're being trustworthy at all times."

Augustine chuckled softly. He pushed himself back a few inches, allowing Serena to see his tired yet handsome smile, and kissed her forehead. She felt her face warm, and she diverted her eyes away from his. The affection from him was nice while it lasted, but it didn't completely chase away the worries building up inside of her. Sure, everything might work out for them, but there was a chance that their relationship would end once one of them said or did something that upset the other. Right then, she feared that she would be the one to make the first mistake.

"Serena?" Augustine's voice was low and full of concern. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," she said automatically, extracting herself from his arms and sitting back.

"Well, 'nothing' seems to occupy your mind too frequently for my taste."

"My mind doesn't care about your taste," snapped Serena. Augustine flinched slightly at her tone. "I'm sorry," she added hastily. "Just . . . ." How could she expect him to build trust and credibility with her when she hesitated to share what was on her mind? Especially when all of his caring and desire to help were expressed so clearly in his eyes?

She sighed, and before she could stop herself, the truth about Lumiose's destruction rolled off of her tongue. Afterwards, she expected Augustine to hug her again, or to be disgusted and leave. Instead, he took her hands into his own, keeping his focus on them.

"I should have been there with you. I don't know if my personal credentials and access code could have done anything to stop it, but I should have been there to at least try."

"No, don't blame yourself for this. It was all me. I- I shouldn't have done it. I should have just let it fire at Castelia, then gone and destroyed it from the outside."

"Maybe, but now Team Flare's hold on Kalos is pretty much gone. Think of how many lives have been saved in the long run," said Augustine practically.

"I'm sure that's a great comfort to the families of victims here and in Aspertia City," retorted Serena.

Augustine sighed. "Serena, please don't beat yourself up over this. I think that we should focus on rebuilding and moving on, and giving peace and comfort to those still here, because worrying over those we lost isn't going to bring them back." He looked into her eyes and offered her a comforting smile.

"I know," said Serena. She wanted to tell him that it was easy for him not to worry too much over the dead, because he didn't kill them.

He leaned forward and hugged her again, rocking her back and forth as he mumbled words in Kalosian. Except for catching "Je suis hereux que tu," she didn't understand what he was saying, but she inferred that it had something to do with her being alive.

"One question, Augustine," she piped up. "If you were there, in my situation, ten minutes left and inside that central room with no way out, what would you have done?"

Augustine hesitated. "I suppose . . . that I would have done the same thing you did."

Serena shook her head. "And I think you've been spending too much time around Team Flare and all their talk about 'the greater good.'"

"I have, chèrie, and I'm glad to be rid of those bastards."

Serena scooted over to the side of her hospital bed to allow Augustine a small space to sit, and over the next half hour the two of them sat together, silently cuddling. Even though he wanted her to not dwell on what she did, she couldn't help it. Why did she get to enjoy time with her boyfriend when there were those out there who had lost their significant others? Did she even deserve Augustine? To her, it was a miracle that he still wanted to be with her, and she briefly suspected that he was only giving her a second chance because she offered him one.

She thought back to October and November, when they first started dating, back when she expected their relationship to assume a usual trajectory of important milestones happening after appropriate intervals of time. It was the end of February, the time when she originally thought they would be moving in together in Lumiose, and she ruined that. She should have been arguing with Augustine over what color to paint the walls in their bedroom, not laying with him in a narrow hospital bed while wondering whether or not it was even right for him to be there in the first place. Serena wanted to know where the part of her capable of rational decision making had wandered off to, and she guessed it got lost somewhere on the way home from that fateful Christmas party.

"I just now noticed you have a TV in here. That's nice," Augustine suddenly commented as he readjusted the arm he had draped around her shoulder.

"Yeah. Haven't gotten to watch it really," said Serena, thinking back to the few minutes of news coverage she watched.

Augustine reached for the remote on the nightstand and turned on the TV. "Out in the waiting room, some people got sick of watching the news, so they went to the on-demand feature and put on a silly movie."

"Would those people be my friends?" asked Serena as she watched Augustine access the on-demand feature. It sounded like something Tierno would do, finding something silly and fun to try and relieve peoples' stresses. That must be what Augustine was trying to do now, she thought, although she doubted how well it would work.

"No, actually. Your friends, last I heard, were looking for volunteer opportunities, and your mother is going to meet Diantha in Coumarine to retrieve your Pokemon for you . . . this has a whole subcategory dedicated to movies made in Kanto? Let's see what they have . . . 'Pokemorphs,' 'Dances with Growlithe,' 'Sleepless in Saffron,' 'Crobat-Man Begins –'"

"I love 'Sleepless in Saffron.' You'd probably hate it, since it's not one of the classic Kalosian romance films or whatever," said Serena. She had been meaning to sit down and watch the Crobat-Man movie trilogy for some time, now that she thought about it.

Augustine took a moment to read the brief summary of the film given on the menu. "It's about a Pikachu that tries to get its Trainer in Saffron City to meet and fall in love with a woman living on Cinnabar Island? Sounds cute." He moved to press "Play" on the remote, but then someone knocked on the door.

"Come in," Serena called after letting out an exasperated sigh.

Claire Pontmercy entered the room, pausing for a moment when she saw Serena and Augustine. "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

"No," responded Serena. "If there was something happening, I wouldn't have told you to come in."

"Ah, yes. You're right, Serena." Pontmercy grimaced slightly at Serena's response, but she soon turned her attention to Augustine. "Professor Sycamore, I presume?"

"That's me," said Augustine, nodding his head in affirmation.

"Good to meet you, Professor. Anyway, Serena, I was just dropping by to let you know that I plan to give an address to discuss what has happened to Lumiose City and how we plan to rebuild. If you are discharged from the hospital by then, I would love for you to say a few words."

"Um, sure," agreed Serena.

Pontmercy smirked in delight. "Excellent, thank you. Now, I'm sorry, but I would like Professor Sycamore to join me for the remainder of the afternoon and evening. I believe his experiences in Team Flare have provided him with knowledge and tools we need to find the rest of them."

"It's possible," said Augustine as he pushed himself up out of the bed. He looked longingly at Serena, and then leaned in to cup her head in his hands and plant a quick kiss on her lips. "À bientôt, mon amour," he whispered.

Mon amour? That was new. Even if Augustine was just saying that, thinking about it made a smile spread across her face.

Serena watched him leave the room, accompanied by Pontmercy. Who did that woman think she was, barging in like that? Sure, she had a region to run and a major city to avenge, but didn't she see the two people that wanted to escape the world for a brief moment and just enjoy one anothers' company? She gazed at the closed door for a moment, once again wondering if Pontmercy had a hidden agenda – or worse, what if she intended to arrest Augustine? Maybe the universe had heard her thoughts, about how she didn't deserve to have him in her life, and it was making those thoughts a reality. Or maybe she was just being ridiculous. If Augustine could figure out a way to keep Ampharos from having the life sucked out of her, then surely he could keep himself out of prison.

Deciding she wanted to wait and watch "Sleepless in Saffron" with Augustine, Serena started up "Crobat-Man Begins" instead. The movie opened with the tragic murder of young Eustace Payne's parents, followed by his globe-trotting days that came to an end when he was taken in by a secret group of warriors and spies, meeting the Zubat that would become his companion, his return to civilization, and his dedication to become a symbol feared by those who wished evil upon the world. Even if the twists and turns of the plot were old, she still enjoyed the dialogue and the one-liners and the pseudo-philosophical musings of the main characters.

"Crobat-Man Begins" ended, and she selected its sequel, "The Winged Knight," to play next. She zoned out through most of the film, except to listen to the main villain's most memorable speech, too consumed by thoughts of her conversation with Augustine. "You can die a hero, or live long enough to turn into the villain" was the last line she paid any attention to until the movie ended. When she told everyone the truth at Pontmercy's address, would they consider her a villain? Would it have been better for her to have died down in the facility and be remembered as a hero?

The nurse came in once the movie ended to serve her dinner, and then Serena started the final movie in the trilogy, "The Winged Knight Rises." She watched the movie, making herself focus on it and nothing else . . . until the main villain began overpowering Crobat-Man in hand-to-hand combat. Every punch and kick were blurs in her vision, and then the villain clenched his massive hands around Crobat-Man's neck and began to squeeze hard. In that moment, her mind flashed back to Teleurac and the deadly intent in his eyes as he strangled her, and the mental image felt too real for her comfort.

Serena stopped the movie and bent over, clenching on the blanket with shaking hands as she waited for the dizzy feeling in her head and the sudden fear for her life to go away. Why was she scared all of the sudden? It was just a movie, she was in no real danger, but it wouldn't go away, no matter how much she told herself to calm down. In fact, telling herself to calm down only seemed to make things worse, as she stressed over her inability to do so. Her heart was racing, she had difficulty breathing, and she didn't have the faintest idea of what to do. The room was spinning, nothing felt real, she felt like a passive observer as feelings and sensations and thoughts swirled about and compressed and imploded and exploded uncontrollably – what was happening?

The moment she started hyperventilating, she made herself stop and take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale. It was hard at first to establish a steady rhythm, but the fear and disorientation slowly went away. She reminded herself that it was just a movie, it was just a movie, she was safe and nobody was trying to hurt her.

She jumped when she heard a knock on the door, and her heart started hammering. Instead of granting permission to enter, she stared blankly at the door, thinking of how nice it would be to have her Pokemon there with her just in case it was someone from Team Flare or an angry mob of people who found out what she did.

Evidently impatient, the person on the other side opened the door, going slowly to minimize its creaking. When she saw it was Augustine, Serena let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Ah, you're still awake? I thought you were sleeping . . . Serena, chèrie, are you all right?" Augustine wasted no time in crossing the distance to her bed, seating himself on the edge of it and placing one of his hands on top of hers.

It took a few seconds for Serena to register that Augustine was actually in the room with her, but feeling his hand on hers helped. "Oh, yeah. I was watching a movie and it freaked me out a little, I guess. Reminded me of – well, you know." She feared that saying Teleurac's name out loud would bring it all back.

Part of her expected Augustine to tell her how silly she was to feel something like that from just a movie, but instead he looked at her with a serious, understanding expression. "I was only going to be here for a little while to say good-night, but do you want me to stay?"

Serena nodded. "Please," she squeaked while scooting over to make room for him.

Once the two of them got appropriately cozy under the hospital blanket, Serena did not immediately fall asleep. Instead she lay awake for a while, distracted by the possibility of another nightmare or all-too realistic mental image of something else that would elicit a reaction. Augustine soon stole her attention, though, as she made herself pay attention to the warmth of his chest against her back, slow even breaths exhaled into her hair and neck, and his arm that was draped over her side. She found his hand and took it in hers, held it in close to her heart, and closed her eyes. She knew it was silly to think so, but she hoped that having him there with her would chase off bad feelings – at the very least, she felt like something normal had returned to her life.