I'm so sorry, you guys. This chapter was really difficult for me, for some reason. It felt like every time I sat down to write, all I could come up with was garbage. To make a long story short, I wrote and rewrote parts of this several times (and I'm still not 100% satisfied with the first half), but I think it ended on a strong note. Anywho, sorry for the delaym and, as usual, thank you for reading and reviewing. Now, on with the chapter!
41. Smiling Faces Try to Understand
Naruto sat in Konoha Hospital outside Sasuke's room, staring at his hands in silence. It was late Sunday night, and he was exhausted. When Iruka had arrived at the crash site along with ambulances and police officers, Naruto, Kakashi, and Kabuto had already moved Sasuke and Orochimaru out of the cave. As hard as it had been to see Sasuke in his injured state, and as painful as it had been to watch O fade away, the hardest part of the day had been letting go of his boyfriend. He wanted to stay with Sasuke, to hold his hand, even if he couldn't feel it, but the paramedics wouldn't have it. Thus, with the knowledge that he might never see the Uchiha alive again, Naruto had relinquished his hold on Sasuke and watched as they wheeled him into the ambulance.
And now, there he was, waiting for some sort of news. Good news. Bad news. Any news. He just wanted to be done with the uncertainty.
It wasn't just hard on Naruto, either. Iruka was sitting beside him, bleary-eyed and determined to stick it out, both for his son and for his boyfriend. Speaking of which, Kakashi was probably in the worst condition of them all. Somehow, after O died, the fire inside Kakashi had died with him. Was it because the fear of what might happen to Sasuke was that much closer to being a reality? Was it because Kakashi knew how devastated Sasuke would be when he found out what had happened to O? Or was it because he had been wrong about O all along – that the man that he had suspected of being nothing more than a pedophile ultimately gave his own life to protect Sasuke?
Naruto suspected it was a combination of the three, and the result was emotionally draining. Though Kakashi managed to keep his head up and his eyes open, the glimmer in them had faded. He looked an awful lot like he had that day he walked in soaking wet – when Sasuke had talked to him about Obito.
I can only imagine what I look like… probably not much better…
As if in response to the blond's thoughts, a familiar voice pierced the silence, saying, "You look like hell."
Glancing up, Naruto found Shikamaru watching him from across the hall with a weak smile. Though Kakashi had contacted the Nara immediately after getting into town, Naruto hardly expected him to show up so soon. He felt his spirits lift, albeit slightly. "Shikamaru! You came!"
"What's that supposed to mean? My best friend's in the hospital – of course I'm going to come," Shikamaru responded, taking a seat beside the blond. "So, tell me… any word on his condition?"
"No… all I know is that he's lost a lot of blood. They finished working on him an hour ago – on his wound, I mean – but he's still unconscious. They're afraid that, with the cold and everything, his system is struggling to bounce back," Naruto began, taking deep breaths between each statement in an attempt to calm himself.
It didn't work. After only a few seconds, he burst into tears, at which point Shikamaru patted the blond on the back consolingly. "It's okay, Naruto… it's okay. I've known Sasuke for years – he wouldn't let something like this take him down. He's too stubborn for that. Trust me, he won't die unless he can make a spectacle of himself in the process. He's kind of an ass like that."
Naruto made what sounded like a chuckle mixed with a sob. "You can say that again. Running off on us like that…"
"About that," Shikamaru said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "I want you to know that, no matter what happens, this isn't your fault."
"What do you mean…?"
"Look, I know what you must be thinking. He left after the two of you," the Nara began before glancing over at Kakashi and Iruka. He blushed. "Umm… what I mean to say is…"
"It's okay – they know," Naruto said with a sigh.
With a forced cough, Shikamaru continued. "Okay, then – he left after you two had sex – it's only natural that you'd blame yourself. I want you to know that's not the case, though. You had no way of knowing how he'd react. As far as you knew, he was okay with it. I wouldn't be surprised if even Sasuke thought he was okay with it. You can't help it if he panicked a bit once he realized the significance of what he'd done."
Naruto bit his lip. "I know that… but if I hadn't mentioned it to begin with…"
"Then it would've happened later on. Sasuke had to face this sooner or later, and I'm pretty sure, deep down, he knew that," Shikamaru said, shaking his head. "And then there's the whole thing with Itachi. That's what pushed him over the edge, of course."
The blond nodded grimly. "I still can't believe it. Itachi seemed like a nice enough guy from what I've seen. A bit of a jerk, but still an okay guy, I guess."
"It just goes to show you, you can't always tell who someone is based on their appearances. Just like with Sasuke – he seemed fine to us, but deep down he had all of this going on. We had no idea," Shikamaru said, furrowing his brow in frustration. "I just wish he had talked to me about this – about what was going through his mind. He usually has no problem opening up to me… at least, that's what I thought. Who knows what else he's been keeping to himself all this time, though?"
"How could you have known? You've helped him so much, Shikamaru – I'm sure he's told you more about himself than just about anyone else," Naruto responded in an attempt to comfort the wise teen.
"Maybe, but I still failed him when he needed me the most. I should've been there for him… I could've talked to him about it. He could've told me what he thought about sex – whether he was anxious, eager, all that. It might've helped him out."
"I doubt it," Kakashi replied in a zombie-like monotone. "I'm pretty sure Sasuke liked to discuss that kind of stuff with O – love, sex, etc…"
"But… we talked about his relationship with Naruto from time to time…" Shikamaru replied, shocked by this revelation.
"I'm sure he talked about it with O, first," Kakashi murmured. "You know how Sasuke is – he would never tell one person all about himself. He likes to split it up among several confidants."
Naruto nodded. He had definitely noticed that about Sasuke. While he would appear to be open, he'd always keep something to himself. It was that fear of letting someone in too close – of being forced to rely on someone, only to have them be taken away. Though Naruto thought he had learned a lot about Sasuke, from his parents to his feelings towards Itachi, he realized now just how little he really knew. What was Sasuke thinking on a day-to-day basis? Yes, he knew Sasuke's interests, his favorite things, but what was going on inside his head? How much of everything Sasuke said was just an act?
No… I know who Sasuke is… he couldn't possibly hide that from me, even if he wanted to. I just… want him to open up to me more. No, not just to me, but to everyone. I want to bring out the Sasuke he's hiding deep inside…
Shikamaru seemed to snap out of his momentary daze. "Well… even if it wouldn't have helped, I should have been there for him. He was looking for us… he tried you, Kakashi, and then he tried Itachi before running to Orochimaru. He never even considered me – I was too busy with Temari…"
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Naruto said, chastising the other teen. "You have your own life to live. You know that if Sasuke really needed you, you'd be there for him in a heartbeat. You're here now, after all."
Shikamaru sighed. "Let's just hope it's not too late."
It was amazing, hearing Shikamaru voice that fear – the one that everyone in the room was thinking as they sat waiting. That they'd never get the chance to talk to Sasuke, to get him to open up, to help him through whatever troubles he had. That this might be the end for him.
I… I don't want him to die… there's so much left for us to do. I want to grow old with him, to spend every waking moment of my life with him. He can't die now… he can't…
Naruto's eyes widened in sudden realization. This was exactly how Sasuke must've felt – cold, hollow, and afraid. And it wasn't just a passing thought, like it was with Naruto. It wasn't just a fear that came during a time of crisis. No, this was how Sasuke felt all the time – constantly worried that all the people he cared about would be snatched away. Naruto shuddered at the thought.
How can he even live like that? And for so many years…
"It's not too late," Naruto said with determination. "He's going to be okay – like you said. And we're going to make sure he doesn't suffer ever again."
Shikamaru smiled. "You're right. I should listen to my own advice more often."
They both laughed genuinely – it was a nice break from the gloomy atmosphere of the rest of the room. At first they just chuckled a bit, but before long they were laughing hysterically, for reasons neither of them could quite figure out. Maybe it was just their way of relieving the pent up stress, or maybe they had finally lost their minds – they weren't sure. But soon, having brought themselves to joyful tears, they both sighed and tried to regain their composure.
"Wow… can you imagine if he'd seen us just now?" Naruto asked, drying his cheeks.
"He'd probably just shake his head with that little smirk of his. The 'that looks like fun, but I'm too cool to take part in it myself" smirk."
"Exactly!" Naruto replied, sitting back in his chair. "I remember the last time he gave me that look. It was back at Lake Konoha, when I suggested we go skinny-dipping."
Sitting beside the blond, Iruka raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Shikamaru nodded. "I see… so that's why you were out there naked. Someone stole your clothes, I'm guessing?"
"You bet – and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't go blabbing this to everyone."
"I'm afraid I can't do that. As soon as I get the chance, Choji's gonna hear all about this one," the Nara responded with a grin. "But go on."
"Well, when I started stripping off, he just waited a bit with that smirk of his before he finally joined me," Naruto continued, shooting his friend a quick glare. "He ended up loving it, of course, but for a moment he thought he was above that kind of fun."
"But you got him to do it," Shikamaru concluded, eyeing the other teen in admiration. "That's quite an achievement, really."
"Are you saying you never got him to move out of his comfort zone like that?"
"No, I never did. Then again, I never really tried – it was too troublesome. I could get him to open up about his problems a bit, but you've taken it a step further. He's changed because of you, Naruto – in a good way," Shikamaru continued, his eyes growing somewhat misty. "You may not be able to see it as well, but it's obvious to me. He's happier now. When he'd talk to me before, he was always so negative. It was always about how much he hated the fangirls, how Itachi was an asshole, or how he just generally was sick of everything. He'd vent about his irritation at everything. Nowadays, though, well… you feature prominently, of course."
"He has good taste."
"Well… that's up for debate. In any case, he's more positive. Yes, he still talks about some of the same things – Itachi, fangirls, etcetera – but it's with a hopeful frame of mind. He's annoyed with the fangirls because he has someone he cares about and doesn't need them chasing him around. He's angry with Itachi because Sasuke sees him as an obstacle between the two of you. And as for his desire to be alone… well, it's no longer about the fear of losing what relationships he might have, but rather the risk of losing what he's found," Shikamaru said, laying a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "You're precious to him, Naruto. I want you to know that."
Naruto smiled and wiped a tear out of his eye. "Thank you… but it's not just me that's precious to him. He always talks about you, too. You, Kakashi… all of us – we've all grown on him."
"Speaking of which," Shikamaru mused, pulling out his cell phone. "Choji should be here with the others by now."
"The others?"
"Of course – you didn't think I was coming all by myself, did you? I had Choji round up the rest of the gang while I hurried on over." Dialing a number, the Nara smirked as he placed the phone up to his ear. "Choji! How's the search going?"
There was a pause. "Great! We're up on the second floor – I'll be waiting by the elevator. Yes, there's a vending machine. Yes, they have chips. Yes, I'll pay. Anything else? All right, then – see you in a few." With a sigh, Shikamaru ended the call and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Troublesome…"
Naruto was a bit confused from hearing only one side of the conversation, and watched Shikamaru curiously. Instead of explaining himself, the lazy genius merely smiled and pointed towards the elevator just as the doors slid open, revealing a crop of exuberant teens. The blond's eyes shimmered with grateful tears.
"Choji! Kiba! Lee! Gaara! What are you all doing here?" Naruto asked, rushing over to greet his friends.
"What do you think? We're here to see Sasuke," Kiba replied, ruffling his housemate's hair playfully.
Gaara nodded in agreement. "You should've called us. Lee and I were just on the other side of the building."
"Yeah! Why were you keeping this all to yourself, anyway?" Lee asked, looking somewhat hurt. "Sasuke's our friend, too."
Naruto didn't know what to say. "Well… it's just… I don't know. I thought you were only his friends through me. Or something like that…"
Kiba scratched his chin. "I guess you have a point – there was a time when that was true, after all. But he's one of the gang, now! You should've let us know that he was in trouble in the first place!"
"He's got a point, Naruto," Shikamaru chimed in, walking up behind the blond. "Honestly, I didn't think I'd hear that he left from Sakura of all people."
"Sakura? You mean she told you, too?"
"Sort of. When she hadn't heard back from you on whether you'd found Sasuke or not, she got worried and started calling around. She asked me if I'd heard anything and, of course, I hadn't even heard that he'd skipped town. Temari and I hopped in her car and were on our way out of the city when we got the call from Kakashi saying he was in the hospital," Shikamaru replied, leaning against the white hospital wall. "Honestly, I think I about lost a year on my life when I found out he was gone. I was ready to form a search party."
"What are you talking about? You did form a search party," Choji mumbled, extending a hand to the Nara. Shikamaru took the hint and dropped a dollar bill in his hand.
"Vending machine's down the hall and to the left, Choji."
As Choji waddled down the corridor, Kiba continued the story. "Choji's right, you know. As soon as Shikamaru here found out Sasuke was missing, Choji started calling around. I started scouring the city on foot, Lee talked to the police to see if they had heard anything… it was kind of amazing how fast we put it all together."
Naruto nodded, but he couldn't help but notice that one name in particular was missing. He glanced over at Gaara, who met the blond's gaze before turning away ashamedly. Naruto knew that look: guilt. Who could blame Gaara for not doing anything, though? There wasn't much he could do when he was still in the hospital for treatment after what happened with his father. They had declared him unstable – he wasn't allowed to leave the building until after the trial the next week. Naruto could only imagine what was going through his head – here, his entire future was at stake, and to make things worse, a friend's life was in danger. It was a lot of pressure, and Naruto could only imagine the helplessness Gaara must've been feeling.
Still, Naruto wondered why Gaara seemed so particularly quiet. On the one hand, it seemed to confirm the blond's suspicions, but on the other, it made him wonder whether he was somehow misreading the redhead's mind. Rather than consider it further, however, Naruto was jerked back to reality as another Kiba piped up.
"So… how is he?"
The others all looked around awkwardly. This was the question they had been dancing around since they emerged from the elevator, the one that was on all their minds, but they were too afraid to ask. Naruto could only shrug helplessly, though.
"We haven't heard anything for hours."
"What exactly happened, anyway?" Choji asked before shoving a handful of chips into his mouth. Apparently he had rejoined the group during Naruto's daze.
"We're not entirely sure," Naruto responded, shaking his head despondently. "Kabuto and Sasuke are the only ones that survived. Two of the band members died instantly, and O joined them not long after we found him. From what Kabuto's told us, they somehow swerved in front of a truck in the rain, which knocked them off the road. He's still pretty shaken up, though – he and O were close, I guess."
"Where is he? This Kabuto guy?" Lee asked with a sort of innocent curiosity.
"He's down at the police station. They wanted to get his side of the story down while they search for the trucker that hit them. With three people dead, they have to set the record straight."
"I see… that's intense," Choji said between bites. "Three people… let's just hope it stays at three, I guess."
Naruto forced a smile. "He'll be fine! It's like Shikamaru said earlier – Sasuke's not going to die this easily."
Though the others nodded with similar guarded optimism, it was clear that Naruto was trying just as hard to convince himself as the others. He could see it in their eyes – the doubt. After all, they had seen firsthand that, at times, the Uchiha could be stronger than anyone. He was immune to taunting, and he didn't care what anyone thought of him. He was set in his ways, and wouldn't change them for just anyone. At the same time, though, this was a weakness. If anything forced him out of those habits and made him lose control, he'd feel overwhelmed. Something as big as the past few days' events could break him, and they all knew it. Even if Sasuke's injuries didn't kill him, his despair still could.
Thus, it was not only Gaara whose eyes were filled with guilt. Kiba, Lee, Choji, Shikamaru – not to mention Naruto himself – they all felt as though they had failed Sasuke. Though it was comforting to think that they couldn't possibly have known what the Uchiha was thinking, or what he was going to do, the fact remained that they should have known. There must've been a sign somewhere that could've tipped them off if they had only been paying attention – a change in mood, actions, words – anything that might uncover the growing rift between happiness and the fear of losing it.
Unfortunately, if there had been any such signs, they had missed them, and it was too late to change anything now. All they could do was wait and pray.
"Excuse me, are you Mr. Uchiha's friends and family?" a somewhat timid orderly asked, poking her head out into the hallway.
Naruto and his friends were stunned by this sudden intrusion. Kakashi, on the other hand, seemed to spring to life, hopping out of his chair in anxious excitement.
"Yes! Yes, we are!" the man exclaimed, seizing the orderly by the shoulders. "Tell me, is it good news? Oh, God, please tell me it's good news!"
The orderly smiled nervously. "H-he just woke up. Would you like to see him?"
With a shriek, the orderly was nearly trampled as Kakashi rushed into the Uchiha's room, dragging Iruka behind him. Kiba and the others followed close behind, leaving only Naruto behind in the hallway.
"Aren't you coming?" Shikamaru asked, leaning against the doorframe.
"I'll be there in just a minute. I… I want to talk to him alone," Naruto confessed as he plopped down on the plastic hospital chair.
"I understand," the Nara replied before stepping inside.
Naruto sighed.
I have to ask him once and for all. Nor more doubt…
XXXXX
It was bright.
It was warm.
And his head hurt like hell.
These were the first few things Sasuke was aware of immediately upon regaining consciousness. He wasn't sure what exactly it meant. For a moment or two, he thought he was dead. As his eyes began to focus, though, this possibility was quickly eliminated, for he soon found faces he recognized looming over him. A lot of faces. Kakashi's jumped out at him first with his distinct mask. Then there was Shikamaru. And Choji. And Kiba, Lee, Gaara, and Iruka. Sasuke scanned the faces again, this time somewhat panicked.
Where is he?
"He's outside," Shikamaru said, as if he had read the teen's thoughts. "He wanted to wait a minute so he could have some alone time."
Sasuke only stared at his friend while he processed this bit of information. Naruto wanted to talk to him in private. More importantly, he didn't want to even see Sasuke with their friends around.
He must've been crushed by what happened. Maybe I pushed him over the edge and he wants to end it… I wouldn't want to say that in front of others, that's for sure. Then again, it could the complete opposite. Either way, the fact that he wants to talk to me alone means it must be something big.
Again, Sasuke's head seared with pain, causing him to cry out a bit. Kakashi looked particularly concerned, and quickly rushed to the teen's side. "Are you okay, Sasuke?"
Taking deep breaths, Sasuke gradually recovered from the blinding pain and gradually became aware of his surroundings. Everything in the room was white, from the bed sheets to the walls, leading him to believe that he was in a hospital. This was confirmed by his powder blue gown, which he wouldn't be caught dead in under any other circumstances. Sasuke nodded. "I'm fine, really… what the hell happened, exactly?"
Kakashi looked concerned. "You don't remember?"
"I don't have amnesia, Kakashi. I was unconscious," the Uchiha snapped irritably as he struggled to ignore another headache. "Would you just tell me already?"
Though the silver-haired teacher hesitated for a moment, he eventually closed his eyes solemnly, saying, "There was an accident. The van swerved into a semi truck… it wasn't pretty."
Almost immediately, the Uchiha's eyes snapped open in a moment of recognition. "The crash! That's right – just before I blacked out… I saw Kidomaru drift in front of the truck…" After voicing his thoughts aloud in this manner for a moment, Sasuke was struck by horrific thought. "What happened to O and the others? Where are they?"
Shikamaru and the others exchanged nervous glances, not knowing quite what to say. Choji tried to look preoccupied by shoving chips in his mouth, Lee suddenly felt the urge to tie his shoes, and Kiba forced a cough. By the time Kakashi decided to speak the truth, he had only vocalized what their silence had already confirmed.
"They didn't make it," Kakashi said, kneeling beside the teen as he held his hand. "From what Kabuto's told us, Kidomaru and Tayuya died almost instantly after the crash…"
Sasuke felt a glimmer of hope within as he sat up excitedly. "Kabuto's alive? Then what about O? Where's he?"
Kakashi's eyes shifted to the side. "He had some internal injuries. From what I understand, he was able to walk and helped drag you over to safety in a cave. He must've been moving using his willpower alone, though, because he had a very deep wound – it looked like it punctured his organs. He… he spent his remaining energy trying to keep you warm. He died protecting you, Sasuke."
This revelation nearly knocked the wind out of Sasuke. He couldn't do anything but stare at the hospital wall, his vision growing fuzzy. O had died trying to save him – he'd paid the ultimate sacrifice.
And now he's gone. I thought he would just be gone for a while with Sound Village… now I'll never see him again. Gone forever.
Gritting his teeth, the Uchiha slammed his hand on the bed's railing, shouting, "DAMMIT! Why does this always happen to me? Why does everyone around me fucking die?"
"Sasuke, don't say that… there was nothing you could've done," Kakashi began in an attempt to comfort the teen, only to have his hand slapped away.
"THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!" Sasuke exclaimed, shooting the teacher a frosty glare. "He was doomed the minute he got close to me! I'm cursed! I told you I was better off alone! I tried to be alone so I wouldn't have to deal with any of this bullshit again, but no! You all insisted on getting close! ALL OF YOU!"
The teen hurled his pillow at Shikamaru who deftly dodged it, causing it to fly instead into a bewildered Choji's face. The Nara didn't skip a beat, though, and responded in a restrained manner. "Sasuke, just calm down…"
"Calm down? Why the hell should I calm down? I didn't ask for you to come here – just get the hell out! All of you! Get out now!" Sasuke ordered as he hurled another pillow. With nothing left to throw, however, the Uchiha eventually collapsed into a ball, tears of frustration running down his face. "Leave… before I hurt you, too…"
Sasuke had never been more disgusted with himself in his life than he was at that moment. Not only was he weeping openly in front of his friends – assuming he could still call them that after his little tirade – he had taken out his emotional problems on the people who were trying to help him. He had told them all that he never wanted them around – that they were the reason he was so miserable.
Of course, that wasn't true. On the contrary, they were all he had left. They were the people keeping him from utter despair. Losing O was painful – he had been a guide to Sasuke. A mentor, in a sense. Now, when Sasuke had a dilemma, who was he to turn to? The answer was right before his eyes. This wasn't like losing his parents. He wasn't alone.
"Sasuke… should we leave?" Kakashi asked after a moment, his voice still soft and caring, as if the Uchiha's outburst had never happened.
"No… please stay. I don't want to be alone… don't leave me..."
Shikamaru took a step forward and joined Kakashi at his friend's side. "Don't worry – we'll stay as long as you want."
Choji, Kiba, Gaara, Lee, and Iruka gathered around as well, and soon the Uchiha was surrounded by caring eyes. Though it was certainly comforting to know they were there for him, it did little to ease the pain of O's death. Gripping the bed sheets tightly, Sasuke tried to fight back the tears as they continued to flow. "I'm sorry… it's just… it's not fair. Why did he have to die, too?"
Kakashi ran a hand through teen's black hair, whispering, "Shh… shh… it's okay, Sasuke. I don't know what to tell you – I suppose all things happen for a reason. It's up to you to find the meaning in what life hands you."
"Is this some sort of test? Is that what you're saying? That I haven't been through enough as it is!" Sasuke exclaimed, his hands trembling as he gripped the sheets tighter. "Can't you see? It's like… every time I get close to someone, they either die or betray me or… something! My parents… Itachi… now O. How am I supposed to move on when I can't be sure whether you'll leave me too?"
It hurt for Sasuke to say that. He didn't want to think of that possibility, and he hated to tell his morbid ideas to the people he cared about. It was the truth, though. It was what had lingered in the back of his mind ever since his parents died – that things like life and death were beyond his control. They were mysterious forces, things that could come and go at will, and that frightened Sasuke like nothing else.
"Do you remember what you told me a few weeks ago? When I was struggling to move on from Obito?" Kakashi asked suddenly, with a gentle smile. "You told me that I couldn't move on – that his death, and the feelings I had for him, would live on in me forever. I took that to heart, Sasuke. I still think about him every day, and it hurts. But, at the same time, I'm happy now. I have Iruka. I have a son."
A son?
The realization hit Sasuke hard. Itachi was most likely going to prison for the rest of his life, unless he could find one hell of a lawyer (and since Johnnie Cochran was dead, that wasn't particularly likely). He needed a guardian, and it was clear that Kakashi intended to fulfill that role. Sasuke wasn't about to stop him, either. Still, he was not done arguing. "And what would you have done if you'd lost your son just now? What if I hadn't woken up? Face it – you would've been better off not knowing me. The pain would've been too great."
"That's enough!" Gaara interrupted, breaking his silence with a snarl. "How dare you say that to him, after all he and Naruto went through to make sure you were brought back alive. After what O did for you! If they thought they'd be better off without you, would they have gone through all that? Spent the whole night worrying to death, praying that you'd pull through?"
"Exactly! They prayed I'd pull through because the alternative would be too painful. They wanted me alive to spare them the pain of losing me!"
"Just how selfish are you, Uchiha?" the redhead snapped with frightening ferocity. "Get it through your thick head – you're not the only one you matter to! Would they have been crushed if you'd died in the crash? YES! Of course they would have, but that's not the point. They know the risks of life – the more connections you make, the more likely you are to be hurt by death or betrayal. But the risk is worth it for the joys those relationships bring."
"How can you possibly say that? Everyone you've ever loved has only shown you hate. Just look at your dad!" Sasuke challenged with a triumphant air.
"You're right – my dad and I didn't get along all that well. I still loved him, though, just like I love the rest of my family, and my friends," Gaara responded, not willing to give into Sasuke's provocation. "It hurt to be turned down by Naruto, too, but that doesn't mean I couldn't love someone else."
Sasuke glanced over at a beaming Lee before coming up with a counterargument. "So you're saying, even after what happened with your dad, you wouldn't be better off without ever having known him?"
"Exactly," the redhead said simply. "He helped make me who I am today. We're shaped by our relationships and our experiences. Everything that's happened in your life has helped mold you into the person we know and love. Your parents, Itachi, O – they're all a key part of who you are, and so are we. You can't just try to ignore that because you're afraid of losing us – we won't let you."
The rest of the group nodded in agreement as a slight smirk crossed Gaara's typically stolid features. It was only then, seeing his friends and family bobbing their heads in unison, that Sasuke realized how mistaken he had been in his understanding of relationships. He couldn't just avoid the people he cared about, because relationships weren't one-way streets. Even if he tried to flee, as he had when he left with O for Suna, the people he knew and loved would inevitably come after him. It worked in both directions, and the result was a bond more powerful than death.
The Uchiha's eyes widened as he remembered the words O had passed on to him. "Like a katamari…"
"You must've hit your head harder than we thought," Shikamaru said with a chuckle as the others gave the teen puzzled looks. "You're sure you don't need to lie down for a bit?"
"No, I'm fine," Sasuke concluded after a moment. He hesitated briefly before continuing, releasing his firm hold on the sheets. "If you don't mind, though, I'd like to speak with Naruto for a bit."
Kakashi ruffled Sasuke's hair with a smile. "I understand. Let's leave them alone, guys."
With a few murmurs, the rest of the group rose and stepped out of Sasuke's room, with the exception of Shikamaru, who gave the raven-haired teen a quick thumbs up. "Good luck, Sasuke."
"Thanks," was all the Uchiha could manage, a cold sweat forming on his bandaged brow.
It's time… he has to know the truth…
Dun-dun-dunnnnn! The boyfriends are about to meet, and they're both men on a mission. What will happen when these separated lovers speak face-to-face after this ordeal? Find out in the next chapter of For Naruto, Whenever I May Find Him, and remember - review!