Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in the book. All belong to SM.
A/N: Heylo! Thanks for the reviews. You're opinions mean a lot to me. I really want you guys to like my story. I'm going to college in January to study in journalism and hopefully be an author. I'm just going to clear things up because I seemed to left some things out and for that I am sorry. So I will tell you now. Edward is 24 and Bella is 22 and is unemployed at the time and they live in Seattle. I don't know much about Seattle because I was born and raised in the midwest. I'll have to do some research. I promise to give you more details on why Edward is screwing around, soon to be was, with Tanya. And no, he did not have unprotected sex with her. I just wrote that because I wanted you to know how much Bella hates Tanya by calling her an STD infested cunt. I would never give Edward an STD. I don't like Tanya in most stories I read. He is a selfish man in this story but I am an Edward lover so he won't have the clap. Anyways, he will get rid of her.
On with it!
Chapter is re-edited: 1-11-11
Previously:
I watched my life walk out the door. As soon as it closed, I leaned against the door, slid to the floor and sobbed into my hands.
My name is Edward Cullen and my baby, the love of my life, is gone.
EPOV (YAY!)
God, I am fucking miserable. It's been three weeks since my baby left and I haven't slept at all except for maybe twelve hours all together.
I can't sleep without Be- her. Jesus, I can't even say her name without breaking down. I think I've cried more in the last three weeks than I have in my entire life. Since she left I have had the same schedule. Get up. Shower. Dress. Coffee. Work. Home at seven. Dinner. Drink. Cry myself to sleep surrounded by her scent, et cetera, et cetera. I'm never washing my damn sheets again. I don't talk to anyone because I either don't have the will or my fucking brother told them about the incident and they think I'm a piece of shit as well. Most of my friends worked at the firm with me and they know everything I do. I started working there after I graduated college and have been there since. I loved it. I was great work, not too many stressful hours and I knew I could win the cases I took. People say I'm a good lawyer. And my uncle owns it so I had family there. He offered me the job immediately and I jumped for it. Figuratively speaking.
Oh yeah, and everyone in my family, except my father and Jasper, Ali's husband, hate my guts. They won't talk to me and I don't blame them but it still hurts. My mother slapped me, Alice punched me in the jaw, hard surprisingly, even though she's a tiny thing, Rose slapped the back of my head, and Emmett punched me in the eye. Worst family get together ever. They kicked me out and called me selfish prick, as I recall. The family loves her and they hate me, but I don't blame them. I walked to my car blubbering.
So now I've got a bruised jaw, a sore cheek, and a black eye. Fucking awesome. I haven't been to work in three days. My pride's already bruised enough. I deserve to get ran the hell over. So here I am, in bed, nursing my wounds, drinking the day away. I don't answer my calls, emails, texts, door even. The only person I want to talk to, text, email, see at my door, is gone. I've tried calling her, emailing her, but she won't answer me. I've pretty much got nothing to live for.
My Bella Marie.
I met her five years ago, on a day off. I think it was a Friday but I can't be sure. The moment I looked at her I was done for. She owned me. The day I told her I loved her was the best thing I ever did. I knew she was the one. The love of my life. She was sweet, kind, she didn't want anything fancy, like most women I've been with did. She was the kind of girl who wasn't embarassed to speak her mind, she told me like it was and I found it refreshing. She could be sexy and svelt one moment, sweet and shy and just wanted to be held the next. She was perfect. She had my heart and still does.
I can't stop thinking about her.
What is she doing?
Is she happy?
Does she hate me?
Is she warm?
Does she miss me as desperately as I do her?
Is she thinking about me too?
Has she found someone else?
Oh God, that last thought made me sick to my stomach. I would die if she came back to town with someone else. She should. She deserves it. On my selfess part, I want her to but on my selfish part, I want her with me. But she won't until I get rid of Tanya. I thought back to the phone call when I ended things and shuddered, scrubbing my face as it ran through my head.
Flashback:
God, this is going to be a pain in my ass getting rid of her. I've tried ending things with her once. Yes, I tried. I let my girl believe that I didn't and I know it was stupid but I couldn't explain. Tanya says I owe her or the fuck for? She's never done favors for me, never saved me from anything, never lent me money. I have no idea. But she says I owe her and if I don't stay with her she'll 'end me'. I haven't answered her since that day and I don't want to but I have to stop this. I went to my desk and picked up my Blackberry and searched through the contacts until I found the number and pressed send.
Ring ring. Ring ring. Ring ring. I know it's wrong to do this on the phone but I don't want to meet with her because I know she'll cause a scene.
She answered. (Tanya in bold)
Hey, baby!
"Can you not call me that Tanya?"
Oh, ok, I'm sorry. So when can I see you?
"Um, about that...Uh, I don't think I can do this...thing with you anymore."
WHAT? Edward, you owe me. You tried to do this last time and it didn't happen!
"Only because you said you'll end me. Whatever the fuck that means. And how the hell do I owe you?" She was really wearing on my nerves.
You know what you owe me. Is that little bitch you're with putting you up to this? She'll-
"WHOA! Hold up! Little bitch? She's twice what you'll ever be. And she left me. And no, I won't be with you because I will get her back. We're done, Tanya."
You're gonna regret this, Edward. I'll ruin you and- I stopped her again. She was starting to piss me off. No one insults my girl. Ever.
"How the fuck will you end me? I've done nothing that's ruin worthy. Are you insane? We're done! I don't love you. I've never said those words to you. They're not meant for you and I tell you that all the time. I haven't been with you for two weeks. I'd think you would expect something by my attitude towards you."
Edward, I swear to God, if you do this you'll regret it. You love me, I know you do. I've known you longer than that whore!
"Tanya, shut the fuck up. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't see it before. People kept telling me but I defended you and said you weren't like that. I am such a dumbass. Your true colors are showing. You are a little bitch. You're probably fucking others on the side."
You know what, Edward? Fuck you! I can't believe I was even friends with you. You're an asshole. Mark my words, dick, you will rue the day. Have a nice nice life, prick.
She hung up. I was relieved but I had this erie feeling inside me that it would bite me in the ass somehow. What's one more? My life is already shit.
It wasn't meant for this to go as far as it did. It was stupid but she used to make me feel different than Bella did. Like I was different person with her, not Bella's Edward. I was going through a phase I guess, an irresponsible one at that. She kissed me and like a moron, I didn't stop her. I hadn't talked to or seen Bella that day and I was thinking about her, wanting to kiss her and be with her. I had poor judgement and I thought it would be that one time and I would tell Bella and beg for her forgiveness and I would never see more of her again. I was wrong. She kept coming back and I let her. I tried ending it but she blew me off. I hope today it got through to her. Now she's got it in her head that I owe her. I don't know what the hell I owed her and she wouldn't tell me.
End Flashback
The house phone ringing made me jump and broke me out of my trance. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I let it go to the answering machine.
Hi, you've reached Edward and Bella. We can't come to the phone right now so leave a message after the beep. Thanks. BEEEEEP.
I need to change that since I'm alone now.
"Edward, it's your mom. I'm sorry I hit you, honey. I was upset and you know how I feel about Bella. She was like a daughter to me. I haven't seen you for two weeks and I miss you. I regretted what I said as soon as I saw you walk to your car with tears running down your face. I know you love her, sweetie. We all do. You're not a prick. I hit my child! I feel horrible and so do the rest of us. Please call me. I love you."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and ran my hands through my hair after the message was over. I wasn't ready to face them. I didn't want to. I was too ashamed. I didn't want to see the pain and disappointment on their faces. And it hurt me-even though I deserved it-to have them kick me out. Family is supposed to love you no matter what. My eyes started to sting from the oncoming tears. I blinked them back. Jesus, I need to stop crying.
Bing!
I got a text.
I looked to see who it was from.
Alice. It read:
E, I am so sorry for punching you. I really am. I was angry but I shouldn't have hit you. Please call me. I love you, big brother. XOXO
Should I text her back? I did.
A, it's alright but I don't want to see anyone right now. I'm a wreck with a bruised face. Give me time. I love you, too.
E, is it bad? Anything broken? You have to see someone. You can't hide for the rest of your life.
A, no nothing is broken except my pride. I can't right now. I need time. I was hurt when you guys kicked me out and called me a prick. I disappointed you all and for that I'm sorry but I love her and I want her back but she probably doesn't want me so I have to live without her even when I don't want to.
E, I didn't know it hurt you when we kicked you out. I'm so sorry. Have you gotten rid of Tanya?
A, it's alright, I understand. Yeah I got rid of Tanya. I gotta go Ali. I'll talk to you later. I'm beat.
E, ok. G'night.
I put my phone down and rubbed my eyes. God, I'm tired. I walked over to the closet to look for anything of hers that she might've and hopefully, left behind. Maybe I'll sleep tonight. I looked and looked and almost gave up until I spotted something. One of her sweatshirts. I grabbed it and brought it up tp my face to see if her scent was still on it. Yes! Freesias and strawberries! I whimpered and buried my face in it.
"God, I miss you so much, baby," I sighed. I went over to my desk, deciding to write her an email.
TO: BMSwan
FROM: EACullen
Subject: Missing you.
Hi baby,
I am writing you another email since you won't answer my calls or texts just to say hi and tell you I miss you. I do miss you, baby. So much. I know you said you wanted
time but I'm miserable, Bella. God that's the first time I have said your name since you left. It made me break down everytime. I'm not trying to gulit you, you know? I just wanted you to know how fucking sorry I am for making you feel like you weren't enough for me because you were. You more than enough. I got rid of Tanya today. You were right, she is a bitch. She threatened to end me or something. I don't know what she meant but I think she's crazy. It's been three weeks and I just want you to let me know if you're safe and warm and happy. I know I'm not. Again, not trying to guilt you, sweetheart.
A part of me says that if you decide to move on I'd be happy for you but the other part of me, the selfish part doesn't want that and would hate it if you did. Have you talked to Ali yet? They hate me. When I told them what happened, my mom slapped me, my brother punched me in the eye, Rose hit the back of my head, and Alice punched me in the jaw. Jasper and Dad just looked disappointed and they called me a selfish prick and made me leave the dinner. It hurt. I don't blame any of them. I deserved it. Did you tell your dad? I bet he wants me dead, huh? I would if I was him. I absolutely fucking loathe myself, baby. I'm an ass for hurting you and I regret it completely. I found a sweatshirt of yours tonight. It smells just like you. I'll get to sleep tonight surrounded by you. I miss you, babygirl. I love you so much and I hope you come back to me.
I love you.
Yours always and forever, honey.
Love,
Edward
I pressed send, closed my laptop and went to lay down. I clutched her sweatshirt to my chest and closed my eyes. Before I knew it, I was asleep, in dreams of my better days with her.
I woke up to the sunlight shining through the curtains. Got up and stretched, scratched my head, grabbed her sweatshirt, folded it, and put it in my dresser drawer where no clothes were. I went over to my phone to see if I had messages.
None.
Then went over to my laptop and went to make coffee as it booted up.
When I came back with a hot cup, I sat down, put my mug on the desk and went to my email.
I looked at the screen.
Inbox (1).
I clicked on it.
A/N Yay! My first sorta cliffie! I bet you guys know who it is... I edited things so it won't confuse future readers from now on.
Thoughts? Questions? Critique? Was it long enough? MarcieLV offered to be my beta so I thank her so very much!
Next chap up in a few days hopefully. Keep up the reviews. They make me giddy! I don't know what B's job should be. Any suggestions? Have I been repetitive on anything? Your thoughts make this story better. I really want you to like my story. BPOV next!
Bye guys!
Lionlamb91
I'm gonna give ya a little tiny taste of chap 5 :
I was frozen in fear as I watched him turn to walk away. Oh, God. No! I got up out of the chair and ran to chase but as soon as I hit the foyer, he was gone.
I was too late.
I sank to the floor and sobbed.