(See the first chapter for disclaimer, notes, spoilers, etc.)

Chapter 6: "Onward"

The silk sheets rustle and the mattress shifts, waking me. I open my eyes and roll over, seeing Annie sitting on the edge of the bed. "What time is it?" I murmur, rubbing my eyes.

She glances over her shoulder as she clips her bra together and straightens the straps. "Probably the earliest I've been up on a Saturday in years," she mutters. As I sit up, she kneels on the bed and crawls across the mattress. A moment later, she's in my lap, kissing me awake. "Why," she asks, breaking away for a gasp of air, "do we need always need to be up so early?"

"Some of us work," I remind her.

She frowns as she leans over me, her long red hair pushed back over one shoulder. "All work and no play makes Gregory a dull boy," she murmured, splaying her hands on my chest. "It's the weekend. Let's sleep in."

I shake my head and push her off my lap. I throw back the sheets and stand, shrugging into my robe. "Not today. Caitlin and Sean are coming over for breakfast."

"And that means I need to leave," she mutters petulantly, following me to the bathroom. She leans against the door jamb, her arms folded against her chest as I brush my teeth. "It's been weeks. You're not a monk, Gregory…and your children need to know it. They need to know we're getting married."

I toss the toothbrush aside and brush past her. "I'll tell my children when I'm ready." I look over my shoulder, glaring sternly. She sulks and turns away, pulling on yesterday's skirt. I leave the bedroom, rubbing my face. Annie's been…an interesting distraction these last few weeks.

My children would be appalled if they knew about her.

Olivia would say she knew it all along.

I stop short on the stairs and frown, exhaling sharply. My ex-wife has yet to stop popping up in my thoughts, invading them like the enemy ship. I sometimes wonder if she ever would.

Soft laughter and distant music drifts through the silence and I balk, recognizing the song. It was playing the night I proposed to Olivia. She paled, her lips quivering as she looked up. "Yes," she whispered, her sapphire eyes sparkling in the moonlight. I walk quickly down the stairs, the music getting louder as I near the living room.

Yes, I'm in love
And what I do
To make you mine

I turn the corner, my heart pounding as I expect to find Olivia standing there. Instead, I see my daughter by the ancient record player. The cabinet doors are open, the old records spread out on the floor. She's swaying with the baby in her arms, humming aimlessly, as the jewel thief crouches down to examine the collection. My chest tightens, disgust coursing through me. "What are you doing?" I ask sharply.

Cole stands quietly as Caitlin looks up, smiling. "Sorry, Daddy. Did we wake you?"

"What is all this?" I ask, annoyed that I let myself believe. Olivia is gone. She's not coming back to this house. She's not coming back to this family. She's not coming back to me.

"Just music," Caitlin responds quietly, glancing quickly at her husband. She looks down at the record player and explains, "Trey was starting to get fussy, so we put on one of Mom's old records. The music calms him."

Say you're in love
In love with this guy
If not, I'll just die

I look down, ignoring my daughter's concerned gaze and Cole's curious one. A pastiche of album covers looks back at me, the soundtrack of my life with Olivia. They're one of the many memories she left behind and yet another one that I'll need to have Rose pack away. "It's fine," I murmur, tightening the belt of my robe. "I just wasn't expecting you so early."

"We thought we'd surprise you." She passes Cole the baby, who cradles the infant to his chest. I watch my daughter crouch down, stacking the records neatly. "I'm sorry if we woke you," she continues softly, glancing up at me.

"It's fine," I say as she shoves the stack back into the cabinet. She stands, examining my face critically. "Really."

Behind us, I hear the front door open and Caitlin looks past me. "Sean, where have you been?" she asks as I turn. Sean's spent more time out of the house than he has in it these last few months. It's no coincidence that his slow burning absences came on the heels of his mother's departure. I watch him open his mouth to respond when he glances at the stairs and his jaw drops open. "Sean? What's the matter with you?"

I follow Caitlin into the foyer, Cole on my heels, in time to hear her gasp. Annie stands on the stairs, wearing her wrinkled clothes from yesterday. She balks and nervously brushes her hair back. Only the baby shows a sign of life and he begins to fuss. Caitlin and Sean turn to me and I square my shoulders. "Coffee, anyone?" I ask blandly, turning away from all of them as I head back into the living room.

My hands are shakin'
Don't let my heart keep breakin'
Cause I need your love

"Daddy, what is Annie doing here?" Caitlin asks, following me.

The needle scratches the vinyl as I shove it off the record. I hear Sean say, "I think I can guess. I don't need to be tortured with an answer."

The baby continues to whimper in the silence as the jewel thief sets him in the car seat and rocks it gently. Mercifully, he says nothing as Annie saunters in and leans against the arm chair. "Daddy," my daughter says, touching my arm, "what's going on?"

"Nothing, Caitlin," I say simply, watching my daughter recoil, "except that I'm living my life."

My daughter's frown and Annie's Cheshire grin are an odd counterpoint. "But-," she sputters as she watches the red head near me, "but what about Mom?"

"Are you ready?"

I look up sharply, meeting Colin's questioning eyes. Gazing at him for a moment, I tilt my head, wondering what he's waiting for when he clears his throat. "Are you ready to order?" the waiter asks again and I look up, shaking my head. The young man smiles politely, turns to Colin and says, "I'll return shortly, Your Lordship."

Embarrassed, I lower my head as Colin reaches for his wine. "I'm sorry," I murmur, pushing my hair behind my ear. "I don't think I'm very good company, today or any afternoon."

"Well, to be fair, I did blindside you with the invitation. Literally."

As he chuckles, I look up and smile slightly. It's true. We walked into one and other in front of the Dorchester. I was going in, he was coming out. I looked up into his brown eyes, a cheerful smile on his face as he sighed my name. I hadn't seen him since I signed the divorce papers and suddenly, there he was in front of me. "May I be honest?" He nods and leans in expectantly as I say, "I'm surprised I said 'yes' when you asked me to lunch."

He picks up his wine glass and swirls it. "May I be equally honest?" A beat of silence passes before he says, "I was surprised you said 'yes' too." I watch him sip the wine and I feel nothing, not even an urge for a drink as he continues, "But, I'm very glad you did."

"You are?"

"Yes." A blush colors his cheeks as he looks up bashfully. "I've thought about you these last few weeks."

"You have?"

He nods, his eyes sparkling as a crooked grin unfolds on his face. "Well, once or twice," he says defensively, but his tone belies the truth.

I sit back against the plush red chair, soft lighting falling over us. We're in one of the new modern restaurants that's seemingly popping up overnight all over London. A plate of crispy bread sticks sits between us and instantly, I'm salivating. But, I can't tell Colin the only reason I said yes was because I was hungry. Tentatively, I reach out for one of the bread sticks and break off a bite-size piece. "What have you thought about?"

He clears his throat and looks down. "Just little things," he admits softly as his eyes turn up to mine. The breath catches in my throat as I see something familiar in his eyes. It's compassion and years ago, Gregory used to look at me that way. My hand trembles and I struggle to swallow as he continues, "Mostly if you were doing well on your own."

I listen to him talk, my mind wandering as the gentle sound of his voice surrounds me. I don't know about well, but things are certainly quiet on my own. It's funny how even the sounds of grown children can fill your life and your heart. Twice weekly phone calls with my children isn't enough. It just isn't. But, I can't return to Sunset Beach. Not with my memories and pain there. Not with Gregory there. Colin's voice cuts through my thoughts and I look up. "What's a lolly?"

"Lolly is a who, not a what," he explains with a grin. "My youngest daughter was born Charlotte, but all of those consonants gave her some trouble as a child. Lolly was the best she could muster, so Lolly she remained."

"How old are your children?" I ask. I'm content to let him talk, thrilled the focus was momentarily off me.

"Quite older than the small children I remember them being. David is thirty, Susannah is twenty-seven, and Lolly is twenty-one."

I smile and say quietly, "She's just a year older than Caitlin."

He nods and lets a moment of silent pass. "Yes. But, I'm sure your daughter hasn't just run off to Paris to live with the lead singer of a rock band."

With a chuckle, I shake my head as he sips his wine. "No, she hasn't. Caitlin was always more like Gregory. They're steady, like the earth."

"What does that make you?" he asks curiously. "Ever changing as the sea?"

I shrug. "Perhaps. I did run away from England and followed the sun to the Pacific, all when I was younger than both our daughters."

He smiles. "That gives me hope that she'll one day lose her impulsive streak and settle down."

I think of abandoning Gregory on the street in Naples. I think of instigating the divorce. I think of refusing to return to California. All decisions made as knee-jerk reactions to my pain. "She may settle down," I say knowingly, leaning in for my glass of sparkling water, "but she'll never stop being impulsive."

His eyes move over me, searching again for something as I raise the glass to my lips. "I'm sorry for going on about her," he begins and I shake my head.

He traces the rim of his wine glass as I say softly, "It's alright. After all, it's only fair: you already know about everything about me and my family."

"Well," Colin replies with a bashful shrug, "that's my job."

I watch him for a long moment and smile. "Would you like to know what I am thinking?" He nods and I continue, "Why is a baron also a solicitor? I always imagined peers as not having real jobs." His face falls and he looks down. My penchant for impulse has struck again as I watch him sit up and clear his throat.

"It's a simple answer, really." His eyes are clear as he explains, "I was the second son. My older brother, Reg, died in a car collision twenty years ago. He had no children and so I suddenly went from being the 'The Honorable Colin Sutherland Esquire' to the keeper of a barony in Suffolk." A sad smile comes to his face and my heart sinks just a bit. "A not so unusual case of the heir and the spare."

I frown. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

He shrugs again, his expression kindly sympathetic as he says simply, "Each of us has losses to bear. Life takes so much, often cruelly."

I nod, hearing the phantom wail of my baby. But, he was dead, as dead as my parents and as dead as my marriage. Life has taken so much.

Too much.

The children gaze back at me, their eyes round with ire. Caitlin's disgusted, her arms folded angrily against her chest. Sean frowns as he hovers behind his sister, his brow deeply furrowed. And, in that moment, they've never looked more like their mother. Olivia always wore her anger like a badge of honor. When she was upset, she never failed to let me and the rest of the world know.

Annie leans against me, curled into the hollow of my shoulder. "My life is no longer your mother's business," I say sharply as my arm goes around her.

"But, Daddy," Caitlin sputters as she looks between Annie and me, "how- I don't…" She trails off, anger giving way to tears as she turns to her husband. A moment later, she's sobbing into Cole's chest as he hugs her close.

"Way to go, Dad," Sean mutters.

"Both of you. Look at me." I ignore Cole and wait until my daughter reluctantly turns to me. "This family is moving ahead. Onward is the only way and," I say as I glance briefly to the young redhead at my side, "Annie is going to be a part of it."

"Are you serious, Daddy?"

"As a heart attack," Annie says as she reaches for my face.

"What a joke," I hear Sean say as I pull away from Annie's kiss. "You call this a family?"

"Why not?" I ask simply. "I see a father, his two children, and…his wife." I watch as all three are stunned into silence. Even the jewel thief's jaw is hanging open. Annie giggles and wraps her arms around my waist. "Well, future wife."

Caitlin's the first to move. She wrenches away from Cole and reaches for the baby seat. "We're leaving," she mutters, clutching it to her. She won't even look at me as she turns to her husband. "Come on, Cole."

I untangle myself from Annie as I move to catch her on her way out. My daughter flinches as I grasp her shoulders. "Caity," I say softly as she shakes her head, moving from my embrace. She looks down, her shoulders shaking as she sniffs. "I thought you would be happy for me."

She looks up slowly, her blue eyes wide. "Happy, Daddy?" she cries. "Really? It's so soon!"

"Your mother has been gone for months. What do you want me to do?" I ask softly, watching a tear make its way down her face. "Be alone?"

She shakes her head as I reach out, wiping the tear away. With a shudder, she frowns and admits, "I never thought Mom was serious." I inhale sharply as she continues softly, "Even after the divorce, I always thought…"

She thought her mother would come back too. If wishing only made things so, then Olivia would be here, the woman I wake up next to in the morning. Our youngest son would be here with us, growing stronger each day. But, no matter. Wishing never brought me anything in this life. Anything I ever wanted, I had to take. "Your mother made her choice," I murmur as the baby coos between us. I look down, watching as he flails his fists and kicks his foot free from the receiving blanket. "Life goes on."

Sean chuckles underneath his breath and hoists his backpack onto his shoulder. "Gee, Dad, I never thought of it that way," he mutters as he walks past us. "I'd love to stay and bond, but this is all a little too precious for me."

Caitlin flinches as he slams the front door shut behind him. "He'll be alright," I say to her as Annie stands next to me. She threads her arm through mine and sighs, her head against my shoulder. My daughter watches us for a long moment before Cole touches her arm.

"Do you still want to go?" he asks quietly, avoiding my gaze.

She nods and passes him the baby seat. "I think so," she whispers. After he slips out, she turns back and watches Annie and I for a long moment. Her face is flushed with fright and instantly, she's the little girl who clung to Olivia and I on her first day of school. "I didn't expect this when you said you wanted to see Sean and I for breakfast."

"Look, Caitlin-" Annie starts to stay, but Caitlin holds up her hand, silencing her.

"Time," she says softly, fixing her gaze on me. "I just need time."

I step forward and cup her shoulders. "And, you'll get it," I murmur, kissing her forehead. My lips linger on her skin for a moment before I lean down and whisper in her ear, "Thank you, Princess."

She nods and steps back, sparing neither of us a second glance before she leaves. Behind me, Annie sighs dramatically as the front door closes quietly after my daughter. "See, that didn't go too badly," she says, hugging me from behind. I stand quietly, watching the empty foyer and the door both of my children left through. "It's never easy with step-mothers…and I should know."

I force a nod and turn back to her. Her arms go around my neck and she sighs hungrily, her fingertips dancing through my hair. "They'll come around," I say, sounding more confident than I knew was true. Olivia is ingrained in every thread of their lives. A new Mrs. Richards would take time for them to come to grips with. I let her kiss me and cling to her hips as she giggles.

"Then, let's not wait," she murmurs, cupping my face. "Now that they know, we can get married. Let's go to Las Vegas. Tonight."

I pull back, chuckling. "You can't be serious," I say, watching her eyes light up. She grips the lapels of my robe, nodding as her hips grind against mine.

"I want to be your wife. Now. Before the baptism."

I chuckle, playing along with her eagerness. "Why the rush?" I ask, watching her eyes flicker nervously. She shrugs and presses against me, lazily tugging the robe's belt open.

"The quicker we're married, the easier it will be for Caitlin and Sean," she says and I watch a too-bright smile come to her face. "We can all start living our lives. Besides, I always wanted to be a June bride."

I nod, pushing her against the wall. Another kiss silences her easily and she moans, drawing me closer. She can live her life as Mrs. Gregory Richards. I can live my life as the majority shareholder of The Liberty Corporation.

It's a simple business transaction, with a few promising perks.

As the waiter clears our plates, Colin looks up. "I nearly forgot, but Charles asked me to send you his regards."

"Oh?"

He nods and takes a sip of his wine. "Yes, I was speaking with him earlier. He and I will be presenting a lecture at our firm's annual partners conference. It's in Los Angeles next month."

Los Angeles. On a good day, it was only an hour north of Sunset Beach. I nod blandly and sit back. Caitlin wanted me to come for Trey's baptism in a few weeks. I reach for my water with a trembling hand, but falter. The baby I couldn't even look at was suddenly old enough to be baptized. "Are you alright?" I hear him ask and I look up slowly. He leans in, trying to catch my gaze. "Olivia?"

I force a smile and shake my head. "Yes, I'm fine. It's…nothing."

"Can I help?" he asks after several moments of silence.

With a grateful smile, I shake my head again. "No. The only person who can help me is…me." I fold my hands in my lap and sit back with a sigh. "My daughter," I begin softly, "wants me to go to California next month for her son's baptism." He nods, but says nothing and I shift in my seat. "But, I haven't told her I'm not going. I don't know how," I admit.

"I image it would be difficult to go." He watches me carefully as my shoulders collapse and I look down. "To return to the place where you have so many painful memories. It would hurt."

At least I feel something, I shouted at Gregory in Italy, pounding my fists into his chest. But, I'm just as afraid as him, the very thing I berated him for being. I don't know how to exist in Sunset Beach now, without my husband and without the baby we desperately wanted. I don't know how to watch my daughter with her child, thinking how that could have been me. "Life hurts," I murmur. He nods and reaches out, his fingers grazing the top of my hand. The gentle touch sends a spark up my arm as I admit in a whisper, "Life hurts here too."

"Perhaps," he suggests carefully, "it hurts here because you haven't addressed what happened to you in California." I shrug, trying to ignore the little voice within me that agreed with him. "You can't run away from your memories, not really."

With a sad smile, I explain, "I told Gregory the same thing. After- after the baby died, he moved us into a new house. He wanted to start over. But, I just couldn't pretend nothing happened, so I left." He nods gently and I cringe, knowing that he already sat through the story of my life on the first day I met him at his offices off New Square. "I'm doing the same thing he did."

"I'm sure your two children miss you." I smile at him, truly smile, as he clears his throat and continues, "As I know you miss them."

"I miss them terribly." The simple truth flutters before us and my stomach clenches as the realization settles in. Our eyes meet as I whisper, "I need to go to the baptism." He smiles gently, seemingly pleased with the decision as I exhale deeply. "I don't know what will happen, but I know that seeing my children again is more important than anything."

He nods as a thoughtful expression comes over him. "When exactly in July are you going?"

"Well, the baptism is on the 12th, so-"

His eyes light up and he leans in, suddenly animated. "I'm flying to California for the conference on the 10th. Why don't you join me?"

My heart begins to pound and I chuckle nervously. Colin has a way of looking at me that makes me…feel. And, it frightens me. It's been almost a quarter of a century since someone other than Gregory truly made me feel anything. Del was a distraction, a way to pass the time, but he didn't stoke my heart beyond more than a faint flutter. "I couldn't," I stutter and his eyes fall. "It would be an imposition."

"It's the firm's jet and I'm offering it to you," he points out, watching me with bashful eyes. "Hardly an imposition."

I shake my head and lean in, my arms resting on the table. "You barely know me," I sigh as he begins to chuckle.

"Well, that leaves us just less than a month to become friends." He grins and I notice the way his cheeks blush like a schoolboy's. "What do you say?"

He's infectious, I realize as I return his grin. And, I realize that good humor is something I'm in desperate need of as he begins to chuckle. I nod and he beams, my heart skipping a beat.

A/N: The lyrics at the beginning are from the Herb Alpert song, "This Guy's in Love with You" (written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David).