Chapter Eleven: Pre-Ball Banter

Time passed, therapy happened. It is now later…to be exact it is…Halloween!

"Halloween is coming! Halloween is coming!" Parvati squealed with delight as she frolicked down the hallways in a very town crier-esque manner.

She then promptly tripped and tumbled down a long staircase. No one cared.

"Stupid children. How can Halloween be coming when it's already here?" Snape muttered, with very healthy organs facilitating his hatred.

"Ummm…shouldn't you be getting help for her instead of pondering the feasibility of her statement?" Bridgit hesitantly questioned, raising her new hand which was as good as the old one.

"Fine." He grumbled in his trade-mark Snape voice. "But more importantly, why are you two dressed in a manner not befitting the honor and traditions of Hogwart's school?"

"So's your face!" Bridgit retorted.

"What?" Not giving him time to get angry at Bridgit's childish quip, Cora jumped in.

"You just said yourself: it's Halloween! Why didn't you dress up?"

"What are you talking about? And answer quickly or else I'll take ten points from Gryffindor." Snape growled.

"It's Halloween! You're supposed to dress up on Halloween! Like we did!"

Snape warily eyed the pair. Bridgit was dressed in a strange ensemble with jester's stockings, black clothing and a pointy hat. She also had a large, metal staff. Cora had her hair pulled back into a bun and dyed orange. She wore a pair of star and moon earrings with a dress patterned with hats, moons, stars, brooms and wands. Perched on her shoulder, Moonmist sat sulking while wearing a felt green mask and booties. Cora held in her left hand a rope tied around Neville Longbottom's waist. Said Longbottom had a cardboard image of a bus strung over his front and back.

"And what, pray, are you supposed to be?" He pretended that he wasn't horrified.

"I'm Rikku from Final Fantasy X! I'm dressed as a black mage! Look at my hair!" Bridgit lifted up her hat to reveal a mass of braids and beads.

"Well, I don't see how that-"

"I'm Miss Frizzle!" Cora interrupted. "This is Liz the lizard and my magic school bus. I take children on fieldtrips into people's bodies. Now, all I have to do is round up some first years and take them on a field trip into Hogwart's inner workings."

If someone had had a device to see into Snape's mind, they would have seen a little rendition of himself crying in fear. He covered this up with an ugly sneer (because sneers are never pretty, otherwise they would lose their dramatic effect.)

"What do you expect to accomplish from wearing these," He narrowed his eyes, "ridiculous codswallops?"

"Candy!" The two chimed at the same time, like rival clocks.

"For your disregarding Hogwart's dress code I sentence you to detention!" Snape foamed at the mouth.

"Okay…but will you please help Parvati?" Bridgit looked up at him with big puppy eyes.

"Well, for asking like that….no! Parvati can burn in the eternal fires of hell." His eyes roved madly in all directions from rage.

"Isn't it your duty to help the students and save them from, oh I don't know, death?" Cora glared at him incredulously.

"Fine!" He spat, storming off to go save Parvati from death.

"Why are we stuck with him?" Bridgit sobbed.

"Can I go now?" Neville squeaked in fright.

"No! You're part of the ensemble! Besides, Snape-watching will help you get over your fear almost as effectively as covering yourself with meat and rolling around in the forest would help you conquer your fear of bear attacks." Cora reprimanded him.

"Ohhhhh." Neville moaned. "This is a terrible situation! Why did no one help me when you kidnapped me and forced me to wear this bus?"

"The bus never talks! It just looks mournfully towards freedom! Stay in character!" She kicked him for his insolence.

Suddenly Reagan and Sammy rounded the corner, followed by Harry. They were also dressed in costume. Reagan was dressed as Guinevere and Sammy as sir Lancelot in keeping with their yearly tradition of having complementary cross-gendered costumes. Harry, in a strange demonstration of industrial spying, had dressed as King Arthur, hoping as all nerds do that this would help him score big time with his secret crush.

Unfortunately his costume was crappy. He donned a paper crown, a fur-lined bedsheet (probably Hagrid's), a pair of quidditch knee pads and a
large toy car for his sword.

"Yo….Harry. What's with the ugly car?" Bridgit asked, upon noticing the misshapen old-timey toy vehicle.

"Well, Dumbledore said I couldn't use the Gryffindor sword as Excalibur, so I got this Excalibur model car instead. Go forth mighty Excalibur!" He pulled the car from his belt and made jabbing motions with it in Sammy's general direction. "Vroom! Vroom!"

"That's very…special." Cora tried very, very, very hard to be nice.

"How creative!" Reagan smiled. Harry was pleased. Everything was going according to plan…Hermione's plan.

Only moments later, Snape returned from the bowels of the staircases looking none too pleased.

"You!" He glared at Sammy, the first thing he saw since returning to the light, "twenty points from Ravenclaw!" He snarled in rage.

"Uhhh…okay!" Sammy laughed.

"And another twenty for your attitude!" Snape narrowed his eyes and made a face like he had just swallowed an ugly lemon. Sammy decided to leave before she cost Ravenclaw any more points.

"That's right! Keep running!" Snape shook his fist at Sammy's retreating form.

"Man, if Ravenclaw ever figures out what's going on, they're gonna kill her." Cora whispered to Bridgit as the two giggled.

"And you two!" Snape whirled around, pointing an accusing finger at them, "why are you so happy?"

"Well, we were." Cora muttered.

"Where's the candy?" Bridgit whined.

"There is none!" Snape howled.

"Wah!" Both girls looked sad. Snape allowed himself a small victory smile.

"Well…um, we'll see you guys at the party. Bye." Reagan made a hasty
retreat.

"Wait for me!" Harry wailed, following him.

After several moments of silence, Snape suddenly turned to Bridgit and Cora.

"Don't you have anything better to do? You know, kids these days seem to find having fun pretty trendy."

"But we have to guard you, silly!" Bridgit smiled. "And as we all know, those two things are mutually exclusive."

"Yeah, no fun for us." Cora looked downcast.

"Well, I don't like you either." Snape snarled.

"But I like you." Bridgit cried. She was then ignored.

"I have to make preparations with the other teachers for the Halloween disgusting merriment, so bugger off!" He then turned sharply and briskly strode down the hallway, his black robes flowing out behind him like a thundercloud.

"Hooray!" Bridgit and Cora cheered. "Free time!"

"Not so fast." Dumbledore rounded a corner, having heard the whole exchange. "Now you need to go guard Harry."

"But I thought we were done with him!" Cora protested most vehemently.

"Nope." Dumbledore smiled merrily, the corners of his eyes crinkling because he was old. "Just because his sleeping body was dumped in the naptime receptacle doesn't mean he's safe."

"But I see bodies go in and never come out. I assumed it was some kind of safe house." Cora was saddened at her wasted inspiration.

"Not bodies, children! No one dies at Hogwart's. Wink wink. But seriously don't put live things in there." Dumbledore smiled again.

"You have crow's feet!" Bridgit pointed at his face.

"I traded up from acne!" Dumbledore smiled warmly.

"Yes. Quite." Bridgit turned to her good side and, alongside Cora, quickly ran off with Neville in tow.

"Ow! Stop pulling so hard! It huuuurts!" Neville's voice echoed down the hallway.

"My, my, what a nice compliment to that ensemble." Dumbledore noted upon noticing Mr. Longbottom's retreating figure.

He looked around, noticing that he was the only one in the hallway. His face suddenly split into an impish grin and he grabbed his beard. Pulling it taught, he began to play it like a double bass.

"What are you doing?" He whirled around to see a concerned-looking Professor McGonagall.

"Man, I dig those rag-time blues!" Dumbledore laughed.

"…What?"

"Nothing." Dumbledore hung his head in defeat at his staff member's incurable squareness.

Meanwhile, Bridgit and Cora, after searching for several minutes, finally came across Sammy and Reagan. Thankfully Harry was not in sight, for they
were about to discuss…business! Ridding themselves of Neville's prying ears by claiming the decorative plants in the Gryffindor common area had seemed under-watered, they formed a little huddle.

"Okay," Cora began, "we're not watching Snape during the dance. That just wouldn't be cool."

"Whatever do you mean?" Reagan asked.

"Hanging out with teachers is LAME." Bridgit explained in so many words. "Especially mean teachers."

"So what do you want us to do about it?" Sammy demanded.

"We charge YOU with watching him!" Bridgit pointed at her and laughed manically.

"What if I don't wanna?" Sammy countered.

"Okay, we'll do it!" Reagan consented.

"What? Why?" Sammy ached at his betrayal.

"They need a break. He is, after all, very mean and hard to deal with."

"What he said!" Cora agreed.

"Oh fine!" Sammy begrudgingly consented.

"Well then, let's go get ready for the party!" Reagan then skipped merrily down the hallway.

"I am sad." Sammy sighed, jogging after him.

"I'm so excited for the party!" Bridgit jovially jumped up and down. "It's gonna be THIS great!" Bridgit spread her arms to demonstrate and inadvertently hit some Slytherin pantywaist in the head with her hard, metal, temporary third-class lever, metal rod. The kid was knocked down the staircase.

"Wow! It's gonna be an amazing party if that, as you said, is any indication of its awesomeness!" Cora cheered at the injury of the innocent bystander.

"It's a real safety hazard how those staircases appear and move around out of nowhere." She sighed, ignoring the obvious fact that the two of them were in and of themselves a safety hazard of titanic proportions.

"Yeah! What's it been? Like the third person today?" Cora speculated.

"No. Actually it's only been two." Bridgit corrected her friend using her awesome math skills. No. Seriously. They're awesome.

Ron suddenly jogged up to them.

"Hey! Didja hear?" He asked, virtually out of breath.

"No. What did you say?" Bridgit asked.

"The band they're getting for the Hallowe'en party! It's! It's! The Devonshire He-Bansheees!" He was almost as frothy as Snape.

"Yeah. Aren't they Hermione's favorite band?" Bridgit asked, setting up the verbal blow to come.

"Oh. yeah! They are!" Ron pretended to suddenly realize this fact, having no idea what Hermoine's interests were.

"I overheard her saying to the late Parvati Patil that the lead is incredibly ugly, but the guy who plays the triangle is a hot stud muffin made of beefcake." Cora laughed.

"What?" Ron looked sad.

"Yeah, poor Parvati." Bridgit sighed.

"No, no! The band!" Ron shook his head, not caring about the classmate that he wasn't lusting after.

"Actually, she's not dead." Cora whispered to Bridgit.

"Oh yeah." Bridgit giggled. "What a silly mistake!"

"Oh, bother!" Ron sighed, walking off.

"We'd better not follow him or else we'll have to guard Harry." Cora stopped her friend from following Ron.

"Oh yeah! Good call!" Bridgit's face split into a bloody grin. "I ate meatloaf." She offered an explanation.

"What? Alive meatloaf?" Cora looked nervously at Bridgit.

"April fools!" She pulled out a tube of fake blood that tasted like…blood. Cherry blood.

"Wrong holiday." Cora forcibly grabbed Bridgit's arm and lead her down a hallway.

Suddenly, they both tripped over an inconspicuous wire strung across the width of the corridor. Instantly, sixteen (because they were counting) cream filled puffy puffs smushed into the wall.

"Whoops! Sorry about that one!" George magically appeared from a tapestry.

"What happened?" Bridgit asked in confusion.

"And why should I not kill you?" Cora added her two-cent's worth.

"Um." He turned. "April Fools!" He laughed nervously and ran behind the tapestry.

"Not so fast!" Cora leapt to her feet, flung back the tapestry and caught Fred and George red-headed...handed.

"What's going on?" Bridgit peeked curiously in at what they were doing.

"We're setting up a Halloween prank. That one wasn't tuned yet so you tripped it out of its prime." George explained.

"But we're really sorry it almost got you two." Fred lied upon seeing Cora's face going Snape with rage.

"Your prank's kind of…not very good." Bridgit noted, choosing her words delicately.

"Oh really?" George rolled his eyes sarcastically to hide his shame.

"We don't know what's going on! We usually have such great ideas! But now…it's almost like a mid-life crisis." Fred added, although no one had asked him.

"Whoa, whoa, drama queen! It's not that bad!" Cora tried to ease his suffering.

"Well, Cora and I have things floating in our heads that mean stuff!" Bridgit offered.

"You mean ideas?" Cora prompted, noticing Fred and George's blank expressions.

"Really? Do you have any right now?" George asked, using small words.

"Well, it involves some propulsion and some pent-up rage." Bridgit began. The four then converged into a group and the inaudible whispering commenced. We would tell you what they said, but it was inaudible. Then there was laughter. Evil laughter.

"Too perfect!" George rubbed tears from his eyes.

"But we have to be really careful not to leave a trail leading back to us, or we'll get the boots for sure!" Fred reminded them all.

"Well, so as not to arouse suspicion, we should go find and hang out with Harry-"

"Because that's what we usually do!" Cora interjected before Bridgit blew their cover.

"All right. George and I will get the hardware and we'll all meet outside the corridor at eight o'clock because, knowing him, he'll be sitting in his chair the entire time looking like he wants to kill everyone." Fred spelled out the plan.

Cora steepled her fingers. "Excellent."

"We look forward to it!" Bridgit giggled and skipped down the hallway, followed by Cora.

"Ooooh! I can't wait!" Bridgit cackled.

"This will make it all worth while." Cora grinned a grinchy grin. Further evil plotting was circumvented by the sudden realization of Harry, Ron and Hermione. Harry was kneeling on the floor holding his head, Hermione had a hand on his shoulder in concern and Ron looked very frightened. There was only one thought running through Bridgit and Cora's minds.

"Crap. What'd he do now?"

"What happened, Buddy? Did you run into the wall? Yeah. Those bricks can be pretty solid." Cora opened up discussion. The three looked at them scrutinizingly.

"Should we tell them, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"I think we can trust them." Harry climbed painfully to his feet. "My scar hurts."

"I'm sorry, that explanation is lacking certain…explanation." Cora shook her head in confusion.

"Harry's scar always hurts whenever he's around You-Know-Who. The only other time it hurts is when You-Know-Who is planning something bad or being extremely evil." Hermione explained. Bridgit raised her hand.

"What if someone pours boiling water on it?"

"Well, I suppose that would hurt too…" Hermione frowned, clearly annoyed.

"She meant magical hurting!" Cora smacked Bridgit upside the head.

"That smarts!" Bridgit rubbed her head.

"We have to be serious now." Hermione said in a hushed voice. "Something bad is going to happen."

"Well, shouldn't we warn Dumbledore or tell the adults or something like that?" Cora offered a course of action. The three looked at each other.

"No." They said unanimously.

"If there's one thing we've learned, it's that we always win." Harry explained.

"Children are protected by angels." Ron nodded. "It's very scientific, really."

"Well, then what should we do instead?" Cora asked, having nothing to say in response to that statement.

"We have to gather facts. We need to start looking for clues. There have been a number of strange things happening recently. The time you guys were attacked, the Cradillos rampage, and the unusual number of students going missing. They all seem to point to one conclusion: Voldemort is planning to eliminate you exchange students in order to destroy international relations and thus sever Great Britain's ties with a possible ally." Hermione explained.

"…Uh…yes. Goodwill…That's the reason we're here." Bridgit agreed with shifty eyes. "We will help you find facts."

"Yes. Find facts." Cora concurred.

"Well, we passed by Snape's dungeon just a few minutes before you ran into us and we noticed that he had a mangled limb." Hermione related.

"Was it his?" Bridgit pondered.

"Yes. His right arm was a bloody mess. When he has a mangled limb, it usually means that he has been secretly defending the school. So, we think that perhaps he knows more than he is telling." Hermione nodded all-knowingly.

"But you guys haven't spoken to him about it." Cora protested.

"Exactly!" Hermione folded her arms in fierce pride.

"'S far as we can figure, You-Know-Who's after you two." Ron slowly caught up and summarized Hermione's deductions.

"Excuse us for a second." Cora smiled and pulled Bridgit aside.

"What's going on?" Bridgit whispered.

"Well, if the twit's scar hurting means that Voldemort is planning an attack, it's possible he may make a move tonight through the band."

"Right. Because they're the only foreign thing coming into the school. Although it's possible he might not try anything at all and is just planning
for another occasion." Bridgit countered.

"Still, we have to be on our guard. No risk taking where this is involved. We can't fail at our job." Cora said firmly before they turned to the rest of the group.

"We were discussing. Ponies." Bridgit offered.

"We think that you guys are right." Cora lied. "So what is our course of action?"

"Oh goody! More girls on our side!" Hermione cheered.

"I'll kill you if you try to braid my hair." Cora quietly threatened her.

"We need to snoop around the school. That's usually the best way to overhear or trip over useful information." Ron laid out the battle plan.

"Of course, it's possible that nothing at all will happen tonight, but we can't take any risks." Hermione reasoned.

"I like the way you think." Cora clapped her on the back. The two then emitted a hearty laugh of camaraderie to cover their murderous impulses.

"I'm scared." Bridgit squeaked.

"Onward! To Factopia!" Hermione pointed down the hallway.

"Um. Yes. Onward we go." They all proceeded to walk leisurely on.

Meanwhile, in Snape's dungeon, said professor put away some strange items he had been using on his "mangled limb".

"I'll show them dressing up." He muttered under his breath. "There. It's finished." He held his arm up to the dim light, turning it this way and that to admire his handiwork.

"That dress up kit was worth the five knuts I paid." He chuckled ominously and headed to the ball to go traumatize little children.