How did dust get in there?
Standing in the corner of the loading bay that served as the cramped frigate's armoury the table before Ashley was to the untrained eye a chaos of pieces and bolts. Since Ashley had already finished with her own weapons the pieces now neatly strewn before her were Shepard's, his Tsunami assault rifle the one she was currently focused on, since the man had used it quite a lot during their latest mission.
A mission that had made for some tension among the crew. For a tresher maw to slaughter a squad of marines was depressing in its own right, making the humans on the ship sombre...But the anger when the news that admiral Kahoku had tracked their deaths to the pro-human organisation Cerberus had hit the sombreness had turned into anger.
Anger...and a nervousness spreading around the aliens. Ashley couldn't blame them. Sure, you shouldn't outright trust aliens in general, but Cerberus outright moved to hurt them to further humanity. Disgusting...and now they kill humans too in their sick experiments...disgusting... She opened the clip to Shepard's assault rifle a little too harshly, glowering at the box and the sand that had somehow entered it, despite it basically being a thick block of steel. Stupid sand storm, stupid...rifle.
She sighed, letting her hands drop instead of grabbing at the sensitive parts while she was angry. Instead she let her dropped head turn to glance over at Garrus, the Turian bent low to check something under the Mako as he tinkered away. She didn't really believe the Turian would betray them any more...but who knew with such creatures and their strange thinking? The Cerberus thing had only served to widen the gap between the humans serving on the Normandy and the alien minority, a gap Ashley had thought almost closed after their previous missions, a closing she hadn't been sure she'd approved of anyway.
Yet now she missed that lack of a gap, the new gap wasn't based on lack of understanding but on suspicion and a hint of fear. Sure, they were allies against the Cerberus ass-holes...but what would happen if they stumbled upon a lab full of...Turian prisoners tortured into madness? Or...Krogan being dissected...or something? If the aliens got upset, angry with humanity for what Cerberus had done...things could get...tense. They wouldn't...right? I mean you can't judge an entire race by what one little group...erm...
She grimaced, shook her head. No, that's different, that's...ugh...new thought.
Her gaze kept following Garrus, watching the Turian flip onto his back before pulling himself beneath the Mako, muttering a few choice words as a clawed hand shot down to his toolbox to get whatever was needed. It was an oddly human moment...and completely ruined by the two claws on each foot sticking out from underneath the armoured transport, making it look like it had rolled over an oversized bug.
Heh, road-kill.
With their many missions behind them at least Ashley had found herself admitting that yes, Garrus was useful. A bit dry and on a high horse sure...not to mention annoyingly good with his sniper rifle...but useful.
As such she found him tolerable. Even if his constant work on the Mako and inability to get along with Kaidan...turning conversations into frosty things...sometimes made Ashley wonder if they could check how long it would take a Turian to die when dumped into space...
A small shift of Wrex's shoulders, meaning the crates he was leaning on shifted dangerously with a creak of protesting metal, made Ashley's gaze flicker over to the Krogan. One thing could be said in Garrus' favour, he made himself useful on the ship, Wrex though...not so much. As she watched the Krogan stood up, took a step to the side...and sat down on another stack of crates, making Ashley wince. Food supplies...meet Krogan ass...thank God they're all canned goods...
Not that she minded Wrex all that much. Garrus wasn't only a Turian but also individually hard to get...Ashley still wasn't sure why the alien would up and leave the Citadel for an unpaid job hunting one of his own on a high risk mission...Wrex was on the other hand was easier to understand. He was there for the credits, nothing more, nothing less. Sure, at times he seemed a bit...sad...but in general he struck Ashley as the typical Krogan. He was honest, straight to the face and clear with what he was there to do...at times Ashley couldn't help but wonder if Krogan weren't all born as perfect marine material.
He was clearly no idiot though, those big fish-eyes of his carrying a dangerous glint of intelligence. So as with Garrus Ashley had resolved to keep an eye on him. Just in case...I mean Shepard doesn't seem to-
As if summoned, the elevator at the other end of the room beeped, the door sliding open to allow the uniformed hero to step out, head dipped as he read whatever he was reading this time on his worn reader...and Ashley found herself looking back down on the table, her hands moving automatically to reassemble his rifle, a jab of nervousness digging into her heart.
Jeez, you'd think it would get easier serving unde – with – him... She sighed as she slapped the mass accelerator into place of the rapidly forming weapon. I mean, sure, he's the big hero, a Spectre now even, sure he brought me on a mission of vital importance, sure I liked crushing on him when he was just a distant figure on the extranet...and sure it sort of has gotten worse with him being so damn...around!
Even as her hands continued to move in well-oiled precision borne out of years of practice Ashley found her head turning, shyly looking back over her shoulder.
The man had put the reader under his arm. Blue eyes focused on Garrus in exclusion to all else, as if nothing else existed. It was strangely...predatory. And as he moved...Ashley swallowed...it was all about moving in on his prey, steps set in stone as he, with surprising litheness for such a big man, made his way to the Turian now coming up from underneath the Mako. All predatory, wanting, getting...because everything about him showed that he would take it no matter what...Ashley took a shuddering breath.
Okay, you're being stupid, get a hold of yourself. She watched Shepard come to a stop before the Turian, face friendly even as he leant forward a bit, as if ready to pounce upon the alien he was now talking to...predatory, needing, getting. You can come get some right over here – for goodness sake! Groaning she looked away, hand coming to rest on her forehead. Right, dry-spell has gone on for far too long, you're lusting after a superior officer, one you barely know at that. Damn, one shouldn't be allowed to meet your hero...
Distract yourself!
She sighed, the weapon was nearly complete before her, greasy hands slapping the last pieces into place even as she considered their alien guests, of the three on the ship the only one Ashley hadn't decided to keep an eye on was Tali.
It wasn't that a Quarian was above suspicion, what little she'd heard on the Citadel actually hinted at the opposite, nor was it the fact that the girl had nearly gotten killed by their enemy...or that her race was one of the few that hadn't caused any problems with or bugged humanity...
No, nothing of that.
Neither was it because the girl was practically living in engineering, under the watchful gaze of half a dozen human engineers, or that she obeyed Shepard's every order to the letter with an eagerness often beating that of even the humans on the ship...
No, all that was nothing compared to the fact that the little Quarian was just too adorable!
Ashley knew it was a ridiculous reason not to suspect the alien for treachery or anything...but she just found it impossible to do so when the alien was so small! Fully a head shorter then Ashley, the petite and brittle-looking Quarian reminded Ashley far too much of her little sisters when they had been younger and full of gangly energy. And how could one not help but smile – almost motherly – at the girl putting a black plug to where her speech-unit to her helmet should be and then use something akin to a straw to drink from the almost sippy cup like thing she always used to drink from...all the while while holding the cup close to her chest with both hands?
The memory was enough to make Ashley's uterus twinge.
Which of course made her look back to Michael.
Distraction...complete failure...she eyed the man's swaying shoulders, the thick arms, the guarded power just beneath his skin...Wait...swaying shoulders? He's walking? She glanced further up and felt the blush she hadn't even been aware of drain from her face. Right towards me!
Fuck! She whipped her head around, her head nearly swimming as the blush returned full force. Calm down, he didn't see you eye him like a piece of man-meat to be mounted...I hope... Her hands nearly scrambled as they moved to reattach the last pieces to Shepard's assault rifle, scrambling not so much to fix the weapon as they did to ground her back in reality. Okay body, listen, yes, you're twenty-five, yes there's been nothing but a one night stand for fouryears...and yes he makes you all tingly just by being around...but would you stop making a fool out of me! She sighed, shoulders slumping. Me and alphas...I really ought to know better by now...
"The gun's giving you a hard time?"
Despite knowing he was approaching Ashley jumped, then made herself turn around, a bit too fast, then saluted, again, a bit too fast. Michael was meeting her eyes, making her blink even as her gaze drifted to his eyebrows, the one with a pale scar cutting through it arching in question. Answer dolt! "Ahem...no sir! No problem at all sir!"
"That's a bit too official to my taste..." Michael smirked. "Relax Ashley, we're on the Normandy, no mission, I have no issue with easing up on regulations while out of combat." Like the one about fraterniz- shut up body! "Shepard or Michael works."
"Yes si-" Ashley nearly bit her tongue. "...Michael." Right, calm down soldier, now. Squaring her shoulders Ashley nodded back towards the table, managing a smirk. "If you're here for your weapons I'm not quite finished with them, how did you get sand into the magazine anyway? Didn't switch mid-combat did you? I mean that's one in a lifetime occurrence..."
The man shrugged, smiling. "Damn maw flung me through the air...things go flying then."
"I bet!" Ashley shook her head with a grin on her face at the memory. At the moment it had been horrifying to see both Shepard and Garrus be thrown away from the stuck Mako as the thrashing thresher had sliced one of its wheels off...then she'd felt relief as the two got out of the sand-dune they had dropped into, the Turian cursing loudly through their coms, making Shepard snap at him to keep quiet...now it was just amusing. Then she hesitated: "So...not that I'm complaining...Michael...but did you want something?"
"What? No complaints?" Shepard looked shocked, making Ashley blink, mouth opening to say something, yet failing...only to twist into a grimace as his face shifted into a smile. "I'm horrified, really."Ashley sighed, amused as much as exasperated. Why me? "But yes, I did want something." There it was, the amusement and sarcasm gone all of a sudden, making one wonder if he'd actually felt it in the first place: "How has the Normandy treated you? I hope it's helped with the loss of your squad...?"
Ashley held back a gulp as she found the man carefully eyeing her, his eyes seemingly penetrating her, drawing at the pain she'd buried beneath discipline and anger. "I..." She looked away, unable to meet the prodding eyes as she sighed: "...don't think you can ever truly get over such a thing..."
"Guess not..." Michael muttered in agreement, shifting where he stood before her, still prodding.
"...but yes si...I mean Michael...being out here, keeping busy, feeling an opportunity to actually do something...it helps." Ashley nodded to her own words, finding her gaze dropping to her feet. It did help...in fact if Shepard hadn't reminded her of the loss she wouldn't even have thought of it for the entire day...she wasn't sure how to feel about that. "Thanks, it's good to be here, really."
"Don't think of it as a favour Ashley." Looking up she found Michael looking down at her, something almost stern in his eyes. "You're earning your keep, otherwise you wouldn't be here." She believed him...and again wasn't sure how to feel about it. Complimented for being seen as valuable...or insulted for him implying he'd gladly toss her out otherwise?
In the end it was an easy choice: "I'll take that as a compliment."
A nod, the man faintly smiling. "Good..." Then he cocked his head to the side, the demand in his eyes not fading. "...you're surprisingly strong when it comes to this..." How would you know? Ashley suppressed the question, unable to voice it as Shepard continued: "...most would grieve more."
"I take comfort in knowing they're in a better place..." Ashley clamped her mouth shut. Oh God...I did not just say that... Shepard was still watching her, eyes intent. Okay, chin up, you're a Williams, and there's nothing to feel shame about...and if he thinks so you have a good uppercut... "That's not a problem is it? I've had some commanders finding me religious as an issue of 'garrison security'." She grimaced at the memory of getting a pat down every time she entered the camp for several weeks by one garrison commander in particular...until she had taken some of the explosives from its armoury that he always was looking for and crammed it down his throat...he hadn't tried it again after that.
"Not at all." Michael instantly replied, almost snapping the words out. "If it's a source of strength you should embrace it." Nodding he then visible slowed down in his movements as he looked down to his hands, eyeing them with a sudden calm in his eyes. "I...approve even."
Ashley found herself take an inching step forward, cocking her head to the side as she asked in a low mutter: "And you're...?"
"I..." This time there was a hesitation in Michael's voice, his eyes growing distant for a while, pupils jerking back and forth, as if calculating something. Before Ashley could ponder it he was back in the present though, smiling faintly as he looked back up at her. "...find comfort in that there is a better place after this." Another stop of hesitation, a deep breath, making Ashley force herself to take a step back as she realised how close she'd gotten: "It was through God's mercy I became a marine." Again, hesitation. "A priest...took me in from the streets and presented me to the recruitment office..." He shrugged, a faint smile. "...guess he works in mysterious ways huh?"
Ashley blinked, suddenly wary. There was something...more...to that story...but she had a feeling pushing further would meet a polite, but insurmountable wall. "That he does, I for one find myself believing due to the galaxy."
Michael's eyebrows arched in silent question.
Holding back the blush Ashley looked away, silently cursing her far too generous mouth. "Have you not looked out the window? There's so much out there, different species, supernovas and stars beyond counting...a kaleidoscope got nothing on the play of colours and lights in the galaxy! I mean...I can't imagine there's so much beauty in such abundance without there being...something out there." She couldn't hold back the blush as she realised what she had said, gaze shyly moving to glance at Michael.
The man was looking down at his electronic reader's side, drumming his fingers on it while frowning in thoughts. "Your faith..." Ashley didn't think him capable of it, but there actually was a hint of...shamefulness in Michael's voice. "...is purer than mine."
Ashley's mouth opened to protest, to say...something...but nothing came out. How do you reply to something like that!
And Michael wasn't forthcoming either, still looking down at his reader, still frowning.
Oookay...I broke him...great...
Then he looked up again, the frown gone, as if it had never been there in the first place, a smile on his face: "That's refreshing, keep it up."
Huh... "I'll...do my best." Ashley shrugged, managing a smirk. "I'll become a saint among marines, the Virgin Mary will have nothing on me."
Shepard crossed his arms over his chest as he leant back, mirroring her smirk. "Isn't that blasphemy?"
"Only if it isn't true." Ashley replied, grinning. "Though I guess I'll have trouble with the whole virgin thing..." She coughed, eyes widening as she realised what she had just said. Dammit mouth! Shepard's chuckle did nothing to help, only making her struggling to maintain control over her face. Body...I hate you... "Ahem...right...sooo...what you're reading?"
Michael kept chuckling, smirking at her transparent change of subject, making her struggle to keep her face neutral as she nervously moved from foot to foot. "Oh this?" He held up the reader, still smirking at her. "Just reading Saren's file, it's quite big you know..."
"And?" Please keep on track, I've been embarrassed enough already...
"There's...too much data." Michael sighed, his smirk fading as he looked down on the reader. "He's been a Spectre for twenty-four years Ashley...he has visited nearly every planet in the Terminus system, he has at least one contact in every planet with people on it...and that's only what shows in his files, who knows what he has kept secret?" He shook his head, shoulders squared, a hint of coldness creeping into his voice. "Can't pinpoint him by his earlier record, there's too many planets to comb, and tracking him through his contacts is likely useless given his experience and cautiousness."
"Nothing about the Geth?" Ashley tried, frowning. We'll get him, we must get him, the son of a bitch will get my assault rifle so far up his ass that he'll be spitting-
"Nothing." Michael snapped, glaring at the reader. "Only mission upon mission...it's...damn impressive actually."
"Excuse me!" Ashley snapped, hands tightening into fists on instinct.
Michael merely raised a hand in placation. "Don't take it the wrong way, I'm not talking about Eden Prime, I'm talking of his earlier record...it's..." He hesitated, then shrugged. "...Anderson was wrong about him...this file is of a damn hero..."
Ashley's anger drained instantly, replaced by curiosity. "Huh? How so?"
"He..." Michael made an empty gesture, biting his lower lip as he momentarily struggled for words. "...he makes the tough calls, the right calls, every single time. He doesn't let remorse or weakness slow him down, he does what needs to be done, no matter the cost. This man has saved billions of lives Ashley, billions...most who doesn't even know of it. He's ruthless, I admit, getting many innocent killed, but always to save more then he takes away...it...is humbling. He makes the calls we others are too weak to make."
"That's one way to put it I suppose." Ashley snorted, arms crossed over her chest. I refuse to be impressed by a mass-murderer... "But how many innocent must die by the hands of one without remorse before the saving turns into uncaring murder?"
Michael nodded, though he didn't look convinced. "Perhaps...I...can't imagine the strain he has endured."
Ashley frowned. For some reason I think you can... "That's the thing, if he's ruthless and harsh as he sacrifices people so others may live...there is no strain, no moral issue...isn't that frightening rather then impressive?"
"I suppose..."
"Look, we know he attacked Eden Prime, we know he's working with the Geth, we know he's now a mass-murdering bastard...what he was before doesn't matter." Michael kept looking worried however, making Ashley sigh. "Don't tell me you're worried about turning into him by making the right calls? I mean you actually care about those under your charge."
Michael flinched, an almost violent jerk, as if struck, his head turning to look away. "I...don't...say things like that."
Ummmm...okay. Ashley managed a curious smile though as she replied: "What? The great hero getting embarrassed by a little compliment?"
"I must go." The man practically snapped the words, making Ashley take a step back, nearly wincing as she realised she'd said something wrong. I didn't...I thought... "By the way..." Looking back to her Michael's smile returned, if a little strained. "...you realise you have grease all over your forehead right?"
Ashley blinked.
I...put my hand against my forehead...while... She looked down at her hands, finding the grease from the weapon she had worked on still covering them, which meant... Oh God...
She whirled around, head dipping low as her cheeks began to burn, hands moving to snap the nearly forgotten weapon on the table together, the words tumbling out of her: "Yes, go, that's good, nice chat, talk later?"
She heard Shepard chuckle, then the thump against the grilled floor as he walked away...and breathed a sigh of relief...and embarrassment...mostly embarrassment. God...can't believe I stood there talking to him while my forehead was all...God... Leaning on the table she hid her face in her hands. He must think I'm some sort of idiot who...
Again she blinked, feeling the smudgy hands against the skin of her face.
Aaaand my hands are still greasy...
Even Wrex flinched at the loud curse escaping her.
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Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help.