And we're back for another round. Thanks to my lovely Cara and Shae! This chapter was probably more a skirmish than anything in the War on Commas, which made my darling beta happy.
Disclaimer: My Emmett's cooler. Says it all.
Having stewed the whole trip home and then as she laid awake later on in bed, Bella found she was in no better a mood upon waking the next morning than she had been when she left the party the night before. Deciding to forego her shower for the moment in favor of coffee and some food, she headed down to the kitchen.
Passing a mirror along the way, she couldn't help thinking that if Edward were to see her now, hair falling out of the messy bun she'd put it in the night before, not a trace of makeup to be had, he would be running as fast as possible away from her. It was a thought that brought a small, amused, smile to her face.
Reaching the kitchen, and opening a cabinet to pull out some coffee beans, it occurred to her just how quiet the house was. She couldn't hear anyone moving upstairs, or a shower running or anything. Reasoning her roommates had found other places to spend their evenings after she left, she debated making the full pot anyway, or just enough for herself. After a minute squinting at the pot, trying to figure out how much she would need to grind for just herself, she gave up, measured the normal amount out, and filled the back of the machine with as much water as possible. The girls would amble in eventually, and since she genuinely enjoyed the taste of coffee she had no problem drinking the whole thing herself over the next several hours if it came to that.
As the coffee brewed Bella opened the fridge to see what existed as far as food went. Five minutes later, Rose and Alice found her in exactly that position, bent over, head in the fridge and ass sticking out just begging Rose to smack it, which she immediately did. Shocking the guys she didn't realize had trailed Rose and Alice in, Bella said, "What, is that all you've got? You're getting soft Rose."
"The hell you say," was all she got in response, though she hadn't expected much more than that.
"Is Alice with you? There's like three dozen eggs in here, which I'd really love an explanation about, and some bacon," she informed the kitchen at large before standing up and opening the freezer to see what she could find there. "And breakfast sausage. Patties and links. Intriguing."
"What? I like breakfast," Alice said, sounding slightly defensive.
"It's cool, so do I TinkerHoe," Bella informed her, turning around with a smirk on her face. One that quickly transformed into a look of discomfort when she saw Jasper and Emmett standing just behind Rose and Alice. "Holy shit. Way to not tell me they were here and let me run off at the mouth."
"Oh, you don't need our help to do that, babe," Alice informed her, a smirk of her own in place. Then, eyes narrowing slightly, she abruptly said, "What the hell did you just call me? TinkerHoe?"
Not bothering to respond, Bella just shot Alice a smirk and raised an eyebrow at her before turning back to the fridge to retrieve what she would need to make breakfast for the five of them.
"Don't worry, it's a sign she likes you," she could hear Rose saying as began opening various cabinets in search of the pans and utensils she would need. "She calls me Sluterella on the regular. Has for years now in fact."
Pulling a couple of skillets from where she found them in a cabinet above the stove she could easily feel the glare Alice was sending her way. "Doesn't mean I like it though. TinkerHoe? Really?"
"You'll survive," Bella told her as she placed the skillets on the stove and moved to get a bowl to start cracking eggs into. "I'm just going to do scrambled. It that alright with everyone?" Hearing the foursome's agreement, she started cracking the eggs.
After about four, she turned slightly, and looking in Jasper and Emmett's direction, asked, "How many are you two going to eat? We have three dozen so it's not like there isn't plenty."
"Judging by his size, I'd say Emmett could probably consume a dozen on his own," Alice said, "It probably wouldn't hurt to make like two dozen."
"I would argue, but well, I need my protein this morning," Emmett said, the smirk heavy in his voice, as he winked at Rose.
"Alright, can do," Bella said as she turned back to the counter she was working at. "Why don't you all get some coffee and get the fuck out of my kitchen so I can get our breakfast made." Hearing the four doing just that and beginning to leave she yelled over her shoulder, "And either leave enough for me to have when I'm done or make a fresh pot. I'm not doing everything."
Around an hour later, the five were sitting around the dining room table, with their plates mostly empty, sipping their coffees. There was an air of easy friendship around the room that you wouldn't expect in a group who had known each other for less than twenty-four hours.
"Ok, let me make sure I have this right," Rose could be heard saying, "You two roomed together when you were at school, and you lived next door to the idiot you were with last night?"
"Yeah, not that we actually met him for about two months, but that's the gist of it," Emmett said, switching his coffee to his left hand so he could take Rose's hand with his right. "We all had a lot of fun in those days, playing pranks, mocking Backup, and generally just being teenage boys. Jasper and I were saying just last night that we almost miss it sometimes, but I can't say I'd go back if given the chance."
"You keep calling him that, Backup," Bella noted. "That Edward guy you threw me to the sharks with last night. What's that about?" Then before either man could answer her, her face lit up with a smirk and she said, "Oh God, please tell me it somehow relates to the fact that he's the second son, and therefore his only purpose in life is to be the nation's 'backup' if something were to happen to his brother."
Both men simply stared at Bella for a moment, before glancing at each other in surprise. Finally, Jasper said, "Actually, yes. That's closer to the truth than I think anyone's ever gotten before. I must admit I'm a bit surprised you figured it out so quickly, but at the same time I think it can only bode well for us all that you seem to be on the same wavelength as Emmett and myself."
As Rose asked to hear about some of the pranks the boys had played at school Bella's phone began ringing. Glancing at it she saw an unfamiliar number, and feeling somewhat brave and infinitely more curious she answered it, while getting up to leave the room for privacy.
"... well, suffice it to say, Emmett was a lot smarter than the teachers thought, because of his size, and we used that to our advantage. I'll never forget the look on the Headmaster's face as long as I live though," she heard Jasper saying while Alice and Rose laughed as Bella reentered the room.
"Hey, that was that Mike guy from last night. I'm going to meet him at this little coffee shop around the corner in an hour and a half," she told her friends. Then, turning to Emmett and Jasper, she said "Thanks for joining us for breakfast. If this becomes part of our regularly scheduled activities I may just have to make you my famous French Toast. Have a nice day, I'm sure I'll see you later." With a last smile for the room as a whole, she headed upstairs to get ready.
Had she waited a minute before heading up the stairs, she might have heard Jasper let out a low whistle before saying to Emmett, "Coffee with Mike? Backup's not going to like this. You want to tell him or can I?" with the just faintest hints of amusement in his voice.
YNK
"I wonder how bad his hangover is this morning," Jasper said as he and Emmett got out of his car once they had arrived at Edward's house.
"I thought I saw him shooting Patron at one point, so I'm thinking it'll be one wildebeest shy of the Mufasa death scene in the Lion King." Getting out of the car himself, Emmett glanced briefly towards the sky before getting an evil smirk and saying "I think all this glorious sun will do it ... wonders."
Not even bothering to comment on the crazy that came out of his friend's mouth initially, being far too used to such things after all these years, Jasper merely grinned back, saying, "Oh, most definitely. Nothing like lots of overly bright sunshine to cure a hangover."
With that they headed for the front door, Emmett pulling out his key along the way so they could let themselves in. Looking around the empty entrance hall, they noted the lack of any of the usual servants. Normally, by almost twelve noon, the maids would have been scurrying about getting their cleaning done, and delicious scents would have been wafting up from the kitchen, where Edward's cook was busy creating a masterpiece for lunch. "Guess someone didn't want to be disturbed this morning," Jasper noted absently, with a small smirk still in place. "Too bad for him we're not on his father's payroll and don't give a damn."
Heading up the stairs, careful not to make a sound, the boys quickly made their way to Edward's room. Throwing open the door, Emmett said in a booming voice "What a glorious day today is. Jasper, get those blinds open, without the appropriate lighting this room could easily be a mausoleum."
Edward let out a groan, as Jasper did just that, and began cursing his friends. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? Go the fuck away, I'm not up to dealing with your bullshit this morning. Just close my damned curtains and get the fuck out already."
"No can do, I'm afraid," Jasper informed him, enjoying the sight of his friend's drink induced pain. "It's almost noon, it's a beautiful day, and we met some very lovely ladies last night, who knew just how to treat a man."
This prompted nothing but another groan from the bed, as Edward attempted to bury his head underneath his pillow.
"Actually, Jasper," Emmett began, approaching Edward's bed and beginning to pull everything off it so he'd have no choice but to get up, "Now that you mention it, I seem to remember only the two of us doing that. I can't help but remember a rather feisty brunette handing Backup's ass to him last night. And not once, but twice no less."
"Fuck. You." was all he got in return, as Jasper smirked.
"You know, now that you mention I do remember something like that. A lovely young lady who seemingly felt nothing but contempt for our royal friend here."
"If by 'royal friend' you mean 'royal pain in our ass of a friend' then yes, that's precisely what I'm referring to," Emmett agreed, before adding, "And I do believe she preferred Mike to Backup last night. As if Backup could have sank any lower after she threatened to rip his hands off."
Finally sitting up in bed, Edward regarded his friends balefully. "Ok, jokes aside, what the fuck happened last night? It was like I stepped into the Twilight Zone or something. Did I really get shot down? She was just playing hard to get right?"
Deciding to be nice for the moment, Jasper wandered over and sat on the edge of Edward's bed saying, "I don't think she was, man. Judging by her behavior this morning at breakfast, I think she's genuinely uninterested."
Considering this for a minute, Edward's head suddenly snapped up, prompting him to clench his eyes shut until the pain of his rash action passed. Once it had, glaring at his friends, he said, "What do you mean her behavior at breakfast? What the fuck were you two up to?"
"Oh, relax," Emmett said, laughing slightly, "We brought Rose and Alice back and got invited to stay for breakfast. It was nothing exciting."
"She's a hell of a cook though," Jasper said absentmindedly. "I can't wait to try her French Toast she mentioned."
"Yeah, me either," Emmett was quick to agree, "I'm quite certain it's going to be delicious. We need to make Saturday morning breakfast with them part of the regularly scheduled activities man, I'm telling you."
"Wait, wait, wait," Edward said, bring the other two's attention back to himself, "If you had breakfast with them, what are you two doing here?"
"Oh, well, can't we be concerned with how our friend's holding up after his night last night?" Emmett asked trying to sound innocent. The look Edward sent him made it all too clear that he wasn't buying it. "Okay, fine. Bella left to go meet Mike for a coffee date, and we figured it was as good a time as any to head out. We'll be seeing Alice and Rose later and we needed to shower and such."
"Oh, that makes sense I sup ... WHAT?" Edward said, before suddenly realizing all of what Emmett had said to him, voice rising considerably on his last word. "What do mean, coffee date with Mike?" he asked, still yelling slightly.
Trying not to laugh, Jasper said, "Just that. She left ..."
"Looking smoking," Emmett interrupted.
"Looking smoking," Jasper conceded, waving a hand in Emmett's direction, "And we figured that was our cue to head out."
"What do you mean looking smoking? Like date smoking? Or last night at the party smoking, or what?" Edward said, voice still high pitched.
"Oh, definitely date smoking," Emmett said, doing a better job of hiding his amusement than Jasper was, who had retreated to the record wall to "peruse Edward's music collection" so Edward wouldn't realize they were completely having him on. "Lots of skin, those knee high boots that are so popular lately. She was definitely dressed to ... impress let's say."
Glancing towards Jasper, Emmett saw him smirking in his direction and sent him a quick wink while Edward was looking out the window contemplating the situation.
"Do you know what coffee shop they were meeting at?" Edward asked, barely restrained anger clear in his voice.
Struggling now to keep a straight face, Emmett said, "Oh, yeah. It was that little hole in the wall on Fourth. It's right by the girls' house it turns out."
Jumping out of bed and making a beeline for his closet, Edward said, "I'm putting a stop to this shit once and for all. Playing hard to get is one thing, but going out with fucking Mike Newton is entirely different, and I am not standing for it."
Jasper, having made his way across the room to Emmett's side, let a smirk finally show on his face, while saying, "Things are about to get interesting."
"More like hilarious," Emmett said back, a smirk of his own becoming larger as he heard more of his friend's frustrated rumbling issue from the closet. "Let the games begin."