(See the first chapter for disclaimer, notes, spoilers, etc.)

Chapter 19: "Morning"

A beam of sunlight shines through the sunroof, warming the backseat of the Town Car. But, I shy away from it, feeling the way it burns my flesh. I haven't had a drink in years, not since the cruise, but I'm hungover. My eyes are swollen and bloodshot. I couldn't stomach the sight or smell of Colin's breakfast. My head throbs, amplifying even the quietest of sounds to cacophonic proportions.

I'm hungover by life. By the events of the last day.

I inhale sharply, gazing vacantly. It was very early this morning when Gregory left my hotel room. Colin had quietly disappeared hours before, leaving us to our grief. The loss of our son. Again. I bite my lip, expecting a resurgence of burning tears, but none come. My puffy eyes are dry and, for a stupid moment, I wonder if I'll ever cry again.

I slowly lift my head, feeling exhausted. Gregory's arm is heavy around my shoulders, nestling me against him. We are slumped against the sofa, the unforgiving floor cushioning us. He slowly looks over, a shell of himself. It's like a light has been extinguished in him. He says nothing and watches me quietly with an empty gaze. Is that same emptiness reflected in me?

With a deep sigh, he draws me back against him and my head slowly returns to his shoulder. I want to say something. I should say something. But, I can't. I can't feel anything anymore. I close my eyes as we sit quietly on the floor of my hotel suite.

This is all we have.

If we sit here, tangled up in an embrace, Trey is still our son. The moment we separate, we return to a world where he resumes his life as our grandson. Slowly, I open my eyes, watching silently as Gregory's fingers thread through my own. And, I turn into him, letting the moment live.

Trey can only be ours for a few more heartbeats.

The car inches forward, slowly navigating its way up the congested road. As the hotel's doorman held open the car door, he said something about traffic due to the annual regatta. Colin and I could probably get to the hospital quicker if we walked. Slowly, I turn my eyes up, the tall masts of the boats docked in the marina beckoning me. I sigh, gently removing the sunglasses from my face. The world shines in a sun-washed glow, but I only wince as it destroys the remnants of my shattered body.

As I toss the dark glasses onto the empty space between Colin and I, I hear him clear his throat. "Olivia, what did you mean last night?" It's the first time he's expected a response from me all morning. I look over, listening as he continues, "What did you mean about taking another child from Caitlin?"

It was inevitable. The past is never truly dead. It always comes back to haunt us. We will always be reminded of our failings. Our mistakes.

Our sins.

I feel his hand against mine, covering it warmly. "Olivia?" he asks softly.

I should feel nervous. I should feel scared to answer his question. But, I don't. After yesterday, after what Gregory and I gave up, there can be nothing worse. Our eyes meet and I sigh, a half-shrug that consumes me. It seems flippant, but it's the only semblance of emotion I can conjure. "Gregory wanted Cole out of Caitlin's life," I begin softly. "I helped him."

He leans closer, his expression awash with concern. "Why would you do that?"

Absurd laughter bubbles up in my throat and I see his eyes widen. Is this what a nervous breakdown feels like? On the cruise ship, I don't remember a defining moment of insanity. I just remember knowing I wanted to die as clearly as my heart involuntarily knew to beat. Now, I'm caught on a merry-go-round as the memories of yesterday intrude upon today. But, shouldn't they? Everything that is happening right now is because of what Gregory and I did all those years ago.

"Darling?"

"Oh, Colin," I sigh, pressing my hands to my cheeks. "I used to be someone I didn't like very much."

I drank. I cheated.

I lied. I hurt.

I stole. I ruined.

I destroyed.

A litany of sins and faults wavers before me, clear enough to reach out and touch. "Why did you help him?" he asks, his voice low.

"Because he was my husband," I gasp, turning to him. Our marriage had been broken for so long. When Gregory hugged me to him, whispering that we were a team, it took everything in me not to breathlessly agree to anything he suggested. That was all I ever wanted, all I ever needed. For him to look at me and need me. Really need me. For him to ask me to promise that he would always have me, that I would always be there for him.

Don't put me through this!

Colin squeezes my hand as I inhale sharply. I was horrified when Gregory asked me to fake a miscarriage because he knew the pain I still lived with from the one years earlier. But, he promised he would be there, didn't he? He promised to be at my side.

Caitlin must come first.

Gregory was so worried about Caitlin being destroyed by Cole, but he never thought of a more frightening possibility: that she could be destroyed by us. The two people who were supposed to love her more than life. I grimace, feeling nauseous. We turned our backs on our precious daughter. We played God with her life.

And now, we must atone for our unholy sins.

"Olivia?" he asks, more urgently this time.

In the animal kingdom, a mother protects her children from predators. From those that would do her children harm. I violated the basic law of motherhood. I sided with the danger. I was a part of it.

Slowly and quietly, I tell Colin about Gregory's plan. About the fake pregnancy. About destroying Cole in our daughter's eyes. About taking our daughter's child. About how we would tell her that her child died.

About how we would raise our grandchild as our child.

Bile rises in my throat as Colin sucks in his breath, horrified. "Why?" he gasps. He squeezes my hand and I turn to him. He's appalled...and rightly so. "Why would you be a part of something so...so..." But words fail him as he shakes his head and looks away.

"It was the first time in years that Gregory said he needed me," I whisper, wincing. God, how pathetic that sounds. But, wasn't that the person I was six years ago? Pathetic and a mess.

The last missing piece of the puzzle whispers from the back corner of my mind and I sigh. The darker, more disturbing reason for my complicity shines before me like a lighthouse on a dark and stormy night. "But, really," I continue quietly, "I was trying to save myself." He glances over, confused, as I continue, "Gregory didn't know I really was pregnant. I used his obsession with getting Cole out of Caitlin's life as a distraction."

"Why did you need a distraction?" he asks. He heard everything that Gregory and I said to each other last night, but he couldn't have understood half of it. That always was my gift. Dressing my life in shadows and deception, never letting the ugly truth distract from the dazzling lie. But now, it's the ugly truth that I want, that Colin needs to know in order to understand what happened last night. To understand how I can let Trey go.

"I-I didn't- I couldn't tell Gregory I was pregnant. I didn't know if...he was the father of my child." My last sin, my last secret, spirals away from my soul as I whisper, "I didn't know if he was my child's father...or Cole was."

Gently, Colin's hand moves away from my own. I watch out of the corner of my eye as he groans deeply, rubbing his face. "Oh, Olivia," he sighs. I know him. I know the way he thinks. He's methodically replaying everything that's happened from the moment we stepped off the private plane to Gregory's visit. Every word, every gasp. Clarity always gives way to a deeper and more personal understanding. "You never knew? For all these years, you never knew Gregory was your son's father?"

He looks over slowly, his brown eyes desperate. Gently, I shake my aching head as I grimace, swallowing the bile in my throat. "Not until yesterday," I whisper. But, isn't it what I deserve? This painful irony. I hoped...I prayed...I begged God for Gregory to be the father of my youngest child. It was the second chance we desperately needed. And now, I know that he is.

A painful numbness oozes over me as I inhale sharply. Gregory is the father of my son, but I can never claim him. Either of them. The man I love and our child are lost to me. Perhaps, it was never in God's plan for me to have Gregory and Trey. He's forsaken them for me, just as I forsook my daughter all those years ago. My hands tremble, feeling them both slip through my fingers.

"Darling," I hear Colin say, his hand settling on my thigh, "you don't need to do this to yourself. You can have your son." He falls silent and I force myself to look over. He disappears briefly in the blurriness of my vision, but, a moment later, I see the thoughtful expression on his face. "You can. We will figure out a way to share custody with Gregory."

I reach out, gently wrapping my arms around Colin. I feel his return embrace a moment later, holding me snug against him. My eyes close a moment later as I turn my face into his neck. His hand runs over my head and I listen as he continues, "I- I don't know what that kind of arrangement could look like, but it can be done."

Oh, if only it was just that. I breathe deeply, the warm aroma of Colin's cologne sustaining me as I look up slowly. He's exhausted and I realize he's been on this hellish journey with me. The blended family he and I created nearly four years ago has worked out. I know that he's as fond of my children as I am of his three. But, my children aren't his children. He cares for them, but he doesn't understand what the truth will do. He doesn't understand what it will do to Caitlin to lose another child. He doesn't understand what it will do to Trey's comfortable life.

Let me be the one to lose a second child, rather than my daughter.

I cup his face, sighing deeply as I slowly shake my head. His eyes light up, as if he wants to convince me. But, if Gregory's painful pleading last night didn't convince me, then nothing ever would. "I can't," I murmur as he reaches up for my hand. "I can't do that to Caity. I won't."

His mouth parts to reply as the melodic chirping of my mobile phone fills the silence. Quickly, I reach into my purse, my hands trembling as I unfold it. Cole, the display reads. "Cole?" I gasp, my eyes turning up to Colin's.

"Olivia, she's awake!"

Of all days to spend time circling the parking lot looking for a space. Cole's excited voice still echoes in my mind, two precious words that I've waited for more than a day to hear.

Caitlin's awake.

An empty parking spot mercifully appears and I throw the Jaguar into it, slamming it into park. Alex gets out as I do and I reach for her hand. It slips into mine and I squeeze it as we walk quickly through the lot. The sun beats down on us and I smell the burn of the blacktop. "Did Cole say how she was?" Alex asks.

I shake my head. "No. Just that she was awake. The doctor was examining her when he called."

"But, Olivia knows, doesn't she?"

She hasn't asked where I came from when I crawled into our bed early this morning. Where I'd been for the time I was gone. Where I was when all her missed calls came into my Blackberry. Did she suspect I was in Olivia's hotel suite, curled up on the floor with her for hours? "I'm sure Cole called her," I murmur and I feel her eyes flicker to me.

"Gregory," she begins, slowing to turn and face me, "what happened last night?" I meet her eyes warily as her concerned gaze flickers over me.

Trey is mine and Olivia's.

She convinced me to give him up a second time.

But, I was willing to give you up for them.

I watch her quietly, feeling her worry increase with each passing second of silence. I can't tell her. She can't know. Any of it. No one can.

"DAD!"

We turn to the voice, watching as Sean jogs through the parking lot, his girlfriend right behind him. He and Tessa are heaving as they stop next to us and he bends over, gasping for breath. "Sean," I ask, my heart leaping into my throat, "what's wrong? Is it-"

Alex presses against me as my son looks up, shaking his head. "No. I c-couldn't," he gasps, wiping the sweat from his forehead, "find a spot. We had to park over on 10th Street by the elementary school."

Any other day, we would've all been at the house, watching the regatta from the balcony. But, not today. I nod, watching as he recovers from his ten block run. But, we make eye contact and I see the question dancing in his expression. "Alex," I begin, turning to her, "why don't you and Tessa go on ahead? Sean and I will be there in a moment."

She looks back at me for a long moment, her eyes sharp. Her question from moments ago echoes in the silence, brimming over in her eyes. What happened last night? She shakes her head and I take her hand, squeezing it gently. "Please," I say simply.

Another moment goes by before she nods. Reluctantly. With a return squeeze, she steps away and leaves quietly with Tessa. I turn, watching as she walks into the hospital and disappears through the revolving glass door. "Dad?" Sean gasps and I turn back to him. His eyes are wide as he asks, "What happened last night? With you and Mom?"

"What do you mean?" I ask quietly, my eyes dry and burning.

"Trey," he reminds me in a whisper. "The D.N.A. test." I exhale deeply, feeling the ache of exhaustion in every ounce of my body. I meant what I told Alex yesterday: I'm too old for this. "Dad?" Sean asks again, his hand on my shoulder.

"Nothing," I say softly, meeting his eyes. "We're doing nothing."

My son exhales sharply, his hand tightening. "But, Dad-"

I'm numb, rapid fire memories from the night before hissing behind my eyes. The way Olivia watched me, begging me to let our youngest child go...again. The way she squeezed my hand, imploring me to think of our daughter. The way she sobbed against my chest, my arms tight around her. The way her head felt against my shoulder when we sat on the floor, left to deal with the ramifications of that decision.

But, really, the decision had been made for us years ago. My plan to kidnap Caitlin's child made sure of it. Olivia made me see that.

That boy was never meant for us.

An ache consumes my chest, shocking me out of my numbness. I gasp, shaking my head. "Your mother and I aren't breaking your sister's heart. We're not destroying Trey's life."

He watches me for a long moment, breathing hard. He's pale, despite the sweat dripping down his face. "Dad, I'm sorry," he says softly. He reaches out and I stiffen as he hugs me. But, deep inside, something throbs and a strangled sob rises in my throat. Without thinking, I grip my son back as he sighs, "I'm so sorry."

I nod, feeling his thundering heart against my chest. Olivia told me how upset Sean was when he saw her, how he broke down in her arms. "It's alright, Sean," I murmur, my arms tight around him.

Would it have been better if we never knew? Myself, Olivia, Sean...if we continued to live in blissful ignorance of the painful truth? Six years ago, I berated Olivia for not remembering what happened on the day she gave birth to our youngest child. But, that was before. Now, I wonder if maybe it was for the best that she – we – never knew the truth.

I close my eyes, remembering the terror that consumed her as she relived her our son's birth after all these years. The sheer panic that shone in her eyes as she remembered him being taken from her arms. The grief yesterday was as raw as ice and just as deadly. It was no better than the moment in a San Francisco hospital room when I told her our son was dead all those years ago.

Perhaps some secrets should stay buried.

Gregory follows me into our daughter's hospital room, his eyes burning into my back. Caitlin's doctor was honest about her recovery. While all the tests showed her brain function was normal, she was having some difficulty speaking. He was realistic, but encouraging, that with speech therapy, her impairment wouldn't be permanent. But, I can live with it being permanent, if it came to that. My daughter is alive and awake. That's all that matters.

Cole stands as we hover near the door. He smiles down at her, gently setting her hand on the mattress. "Cait," he says softly as he leans down, "your parents are here." He glances over his shoulder and gestures us closer as he turns back to her. "They are going to stay with you while I call my mom and check on Trey."

I see her nod slowly and I can't help the sob that rises in my throat. I need to be sure. I need to see her for myself. Her eyes are dulled, but they are open. The left side of her face is still swollen and bruised, but she gives us a weak smile as Gregory and I near her bed. "M-m-m...om," she sighs as I lean down, cupping her uninjured cheek.

"I'm here, Caity. Daddy is too."

She nods, her eyes dancing up to where Gregory stands next to me. I watch as she swallows hard, her lips slowly forming the hard consonant. "D-"

I move to the other side of the bed. "It's alright, Caitlin," I say, taking hold of her free hand. Behind Olivia, I see Cole quietly step out of the room and close the door behind him. I turn back down to my daughter, relief flooding my tired body. "Just rest."

She shakes her head and squeezes my hand urgently. Her eyes dart between Olivia and I as she gasps, "T-trey. B-bl...ood."

Of course, I realize. She asked about her child and Cole gave her an update on his condition. He still thinks it was an anonymous donation from the blood bank that was pumping through Trey's body.

My eyes turn up, meeting Olivia's over our daughter's body. She watches me carefully, her swollen eyes wide as she silently implores me and nods. Caitlin squeezes my hand again and I look back down at the panic wrinkled across her face. "Don't worry," I reply softly as she twitches on the bed, trying to speak. But, her mind is working faster than her brain can command her mouth to move.

"Caity, look at me," I hear Olivia say and I look up, watching her.

"Trey is fine," I say softly. One of the machines monitoring her heart rate starts to beep and I lean in, cupping her right cheek. "Caitlin, listen to me. No one knows."

Her right eye widens, the other side of her face still too swollen to allow her left eye to do the same. "Wh-wh-" she sounds out as I gently shake my head.

"Darling, your father and I know that...that you didn't give birth to Trey," I say softly, watching as a tear curls out of her eye. The machine keeps beeping and I look up at Gregory, silently pleading. He gently lowers himself to sit on the bed next to her and takes her hand.

"Sean had to tell me," he quietly explains, rubbing the top of her hand. She shakes her head, still struggling on the bed. "Princess, please listen to me. Cole doesn't know. The doctors don't know."

Her gaze flickers to me and I nod, swallowing hard. I glance at the machine and see that her heart rate is still high, but slowly stabilizing. "Daddy," I say to my daughter, even as I look up at Gregory, "has taken care of everything."

I look up, our eyes meeting briefly before she turns back to Caitlin. Her hand rests on her shoulder as she continues softly, "Sean told us what happened. Why you did it...that- that you knew." She lowers her face as Caitlin gazes up at her, riveted. "Oh, darling, I-I'm so sorry for what we-"

"Mo...om," Caitlin gasps, squeezing her eyes shut, "d-d-do-"

I reach out, catching Olivia's trembling hand with my free hand. My grip tightens around her fingers and she looks up, her chin quivering. My other hand squeezes Caitlin's, the three of us united as I announce quietly, "It wasn't your fault, Olivia. It was mine."

She tilts her head, watching me carefully as Caitlin slowly opens her eyes. "St-stop," she croaks, tears staining her cheeks.

Olivia moves to Caitlin, leaning back down as she squeezes my hand. "Darling, we understand. But, it d-doesn't change anything." I hear the way her throat closes, her words strained as she whispers, "Trey is...your son."

I inhale sharply, watching the relief blossom on my daughter's bruised face. "M-mean th...at?" And, Olivia smiles, her hand trembling in mine as she nods. I watch as she leans up to kiss our daughter's forehead. When she moves back, Caitlin's gaze has turned to me. "You t-too?" she asks, hope radiating in her expression.

I know my daughter. She won't believe until she hears me say it.

As the silence wraps around us, I look up, seeing the numb strain etched into the lines of his face. My fingers thread through his, squeezing gently. This is the last pact Gregory and I will ever have together, I realize. The last secret we will ever share. Caitlin will never know that Gregory and I are Trey's parents. After all we've taken from her, we owe her that.

"He's your child," he says quietly, squeezing my hand back.

When I look back at my daughter, the relief on her face is worth our pain. She closes her eyes, her chest shuddering. My eyes turn back to the heart monitor and I sigh as the beeping finally stops. "It's alright, Caitlin," I whisper, reaching out to run my hand over her hair. But, I can't do that. Her head is still bandaged. Instead, my hand drops to the bed, watching her quietly. "Just close your eyes and rest. It's all going to be fine."

She nods slightly, her eyes still closed as she sighs. I look up, meeting Gregory's eyes.

I gently rest Caitlin's hand on the bed and rub my forehead. My right hand is still holding onto Olivia's and I look up, watching as she smooths our daughter's hospital gown with her free hand. "She asleep?" I ask softly and she looks up, nodding.

I watch as Gregory stands and slowly moves away from Caitlin's bed. And, I follow him, because I'm still holding onto his hand. The heartbreak ripples across his face like a wave bubbling on the shore. Slowly I reach up, cupping his face.

Her palm is warm against my cheek and I turn into it, my heavy eyes closed. "Gregory?" I hear her murmur and I nod.

My fingers curl against his cheek bone, rubbing gently. "Thank you, darling," I sigh, my lips disappearing into a sad line. "For..."

I open my eyes slowly, stepping closer. "I know," I whisper as she leans against me. She still fits in the nook of my shoulder as my arm goes around her. My gaze softens, watching our daughter sleep. She would heal. She would return to her life.

She would return to her child.

I sigh, my arm wrapping around his waist. I look up at our daughter, watching her sleep.

Our suffering is worth her happiness.

A/N: To the guest reviewer who commented on 05/29 about Gregory usually having the last word, I say: spot-on observation. :o) To be honest, this story exists (partly) as a result of another story I wrote where Gregory did have the last word and he and Olivia took Trey back. (It's the "Undisclosed Desires" series, in case you're curious.) I realized I really wanted to write a story where they let Caitlin keep Trey and I decided that might only happen if they were no longer together. In this story, I think the years since their divorce has given them perspective. They are both involved in much healthier relationships with other people and are better because of it. For the first time, they truly understand the long reach Gregory's "master plan" has had on their lives. Everything they thought they knew changed in seconds and, of the two of them, Olivia was always the one who could accept things as they were; Gregory needed to control everything (and have the proverbial "last word"). Given all this, I think this lets her be the one with the last word on Trey in this story.