(See the first chapter for disclaimer, notes, spoilers, etc.)

Chapter 20: "Peace"

Someone's sneaking 'round that corner
Could that someone be Mack the Knife?

The jaunty percussion drifts out of the speakers, oddly blending with the clink of the ice against the crystal tumbler. Afternoon shadows cloud my study and I raise the glass to my mouth, sipping quietly. Bobby Darin's voice wavers over the brass, quietly cool and confident. I don't often listen to him. When I do, I can't help but think of my late mother. I don't have many memories of her, but there's one that I've held with me all these years. I lean back, my hand tight around the glass. Come on, Greggy! Dance with Mommy!

My eyes close, remembering the way her hands grabbed me, soft and cool. The way the full skirt of her yellow dress floated on the air as she twirled around. The way my arms locked around her waist as she danced us around our small living room. The way her rich laughter enveloped us, bubbling warmly in my chest. The way her breathless singing accompanied the scratchy record.

Some things belong to the ages, kept just beyond the reach of the living. My mother is one of them, living only in my scant memories and the melody of any Bobby Darin song. He was her favorite singer, one of the few things in her short life that gave her true joy. Marriage to my father certainly didn't.

I've often wondered what it would've been like to have her as I grew up, but I just can't picture it. The life of Evelyn Richards was fleeting, extinguished as unmercifully as a candle's flame on a breezy day. But, nothing lasts forever. No matter how much we would like it to.

A tentative knock disrupts the song and I open my eyes. "Come in," I call out, turning to the door. Alex is out, visiting her son. It was the best time to do this. Without her watchful eyes, without the question in her expression.

Suddenly, Rose is there. "Lady Lavenham," she announces, holding open the door of my study.

I sigh, sitting up as Olivia steps in.

"Thank you, Rose," I say quietly. Gregory's at his desk and he sits up, setting his glass aside. The maid leaves quietly, closing the door firmly behind her. Leaving me to watch as Gregory exhales deeply and stands slowly. "Am I interrupting?" I ask softly and our eyes meet. A long moment goes by, the music filling the silence before he shakes his head. He knows why I'm here.

"It's fine," he replies, reaching for his glass. "Do you want something? Water? Tea?"

I shake my head as he takes a long sip of his drink. It was always scotch with him. He comes around the desk and slightly lowers the volume. But, the song is still there, quietly perfuming the space between us.

He watches me as his hands settle in his pockets and a sigh fills my chest. This is the last thing. A painful sensation twists in my stomach as I realize this is the last time we'll ever be like this. After today, we return to a life of occasional meetings surrounding the milestones of our children...and our grandson. "Caitlin likes her new speech therapist," I say quietly and he looks up, nodding.

"That's good."

I return his nod, the straps of my purse slipping from my shoulder. He watches as I drop the leather bag to the chair as I continue, "I like him too. Wayne is very calm and patient. That's what she needs."

I know she's trying. But, I don't want small talk. "Did you bring them?" I ask bluntly. She stiffens, her eyes falling as she nods. I inhale sharply, watching as she reaches into her purse for the documents. She holds them out, a slight tremor going through her hand. I reach out and take them from her, unfolding them. After everything that's happened over the last month, I'm not about to let Caitlin go to jail for kidnapping.

"And, you promise there's no way Caity will ever know about them?" she asks quietly as I look over them.

"She won't," I murmur, my eyes lingering on her signature. Olivia Sutherland. Still a flourishing scribble, but now capped off with a sweeping O and S. She told Caitlin weeks ago that I took care of everything. Quietly, I reach for a pen and add my signature next to hers. Everything includes this last act: us signing custody of our son over to our daughter and Cole. The custody papers and D.N.A. test will sit in my safe deposit box, where they'll hopefully never need to see the light of day again. Thanks to Morris, the lab technician has no reason to talk. Annie will stay quiet if she intends to continue receiving quarterly payments from me for the rest of her life. "These are just...insurance."

She nods, clasping her hands in front of her. I glance up, seeing the frown wrinkling her pale face. "Did you tell Colin about them?" I ask and her eyes dance over to me. Slowly, she shakes her head and I hear her reply, "I will. When I'm home."

He could only stay for a week before he had to return for a case. Olivia's been here alone for the last several weeks, caring for our daughter...and our grandson. But, Caitlin is healing and her life is returning to normal. So, Olivia is going home. Back to London. Back to her husband.

The next song in the playlist comes up, quiet and mournful. I sigh, tossing the sheaf of papers onto my desk. They slide across the polished wood surface, resting against my glass of scotch. I look back at Olivia, watching as she wanders over to my book shelf.

My lips part as I gasp in surprise, reaching for one of the framed photos on the shelf. It's heavy in my trembling hands as I gaze at the print behind the glass. Gregory and I, twenty-something years younger, with our two blonde children in the living room of my parent's home.

The curtain's falling
The music softly dies

It's an unremarkable photo, not appearing to have been snapped on a holiday or someone's birthday. Yet, it's remarkable for how supremely happy the four of us look. I glance over my shoulder, finding him watching me. Sadness ripples across his face as he takes a step closer. "Why this photo?" I whisper, turning around fully.

He shrugs and reaches out, the photo slipping from my hand to his. I watch as he looks at it for a long moment and when he looks back up at me, a wistful smile dances on his lips. "A reminder," he explains, his words soft and careful. "Our life together wasn't all bad."

I nod, watching as he returns the frame to its place of honor on the shelf. Slowly, I reach out, touching his shoulder. Our actions have never seemed as final as they do in this moment. Our child is legally Caitlin's, protecting her from arrest or any other repercussions. All we have left is this quiet fallout. "Gregory," I whisper as our eyes meet, "how will you do it?"

I get to leave. I return to London tonight, resuming my life where I only see my daughter and her family a handful of times a year. But, Gregory... He sees them almost daily. I used to envy him that privilege. Now, after everything I convinced him to give up, it seems the worst kind of cruelty.

And, like Prometheus doomed to his rock, it will be unending.

"I'll manage," he murmurs, turning away. I watch the stiffness in his spine as he returns to his desk, scooping up his glass.

I know that nothing can be further from the truth.

The liquor warms my throbbing chest and I turn, gripping my glass. "I don't feel anything, remember?"

Her head goes back and I wonder if she remembers the way her angry voice echoed in the hotel suite in Naples all those years ago. When she accused me of running from my feelings. When she said I didn't know how to feel.

I take another sip, watching her over the rim. She sighs, shaking her head slowly. "Of course you do," she says softly. The distance between us diminishes as she painstakingly nears me. Her wide eyes look up at me as she continues, "You couldn't have done this if you didn't feel for Caitlin and Trey." She reaches up, gently pulling the tumbler from my grasp and setting it aside. A moment later, her hand slips into mine and I squeeze it without thinking. With a sad smile, she says, "You're staying here...and I'm running away. Again."

Olivia lowers her face and I step closer, gently nudging her chin back up. "You aren't running," I say softly and she shakes her head slightly. My arms gently go around her and she presses against me, hugging me back tightly. I turn my face into her hair, letting the familiarity heal the gash in my soul as I whisper, "No one could do what you've done, Liv. I couldn't have, not without your strength to guide me."

Her forehead rests against my chest and I cup the back of her head. Does she feel the shudder that goes through me? Does she hear the tortured breathing caught in my throat?

His fingers slowly comb through my hair and I close my eyes, surrendering. Standing in his arms is the smallest of comforts that make it possible to live with what we've done. Trey still calls us Nana and Poppop. My head knows that, for him and for Caitlin, it's right. But, my heart is filled with the agony of remembering his sweet face on the day I gave birth to him.

Gregory thinks I'm strong, but I'm not. I can make a decision. But, living with that decision takes a kind of strength that is foreign to me. I sigh, listening to the melancholy harmony of the song. His arms tighten around me as I shiver, his chin resting gently on my head. "Will you tell Alex the truth about Trey?" I ask softly.

His chest rumbles as he sighs. "I don't think so," he says softly and I nod. The young man who came of age without his mother answers me. The one who doesn't know how to rely on other people for support.

I lift my head, looking up into his glazed eyes. "You should tell her," I say quietly. He gazes down at me, not saying anything. I'll have Colin. Who will he have when he's drowning in our new reality? "Alex loves you."

Her eyes shine as she watches me carefully, her voice thick. "She'll want to be there for you and..." She trails off, a sad smile coming to her face. With a helpless shrug, she finally says, "She'll be hurt if she ever found you didn't tell her."

Old arguments echo from years past, her voice crying out to me. For an end to me shutting her out. Now, she's still pleading for that, but for Alex's benefit.

As I shake my head, her face falls and she whispers, her voice cracking, "I can't leave without knowing you'll have someone to help you." I hug her to me, sighing deeply. She trembles in my arms and I close my eyes, understanding. I won't have her. That comfort was lost to me six years ago. "Please, Gregory," I hear her whisper as I feel her hands cup my face. Tears burn my eyes as I open them, looking down into her anguished face. I nod and she closes her eyes, sighing.

Gently, I reach for her, my thumbs brushing the tears from her cheeks. "I'll tell her, Liv, and...I'll be fine."

Her eyes open, tears catching on her lashes as she nods. Bobby Darin's voice rings out, rising to a tragic crescendo before closing to an abrupt silence. And, isn't that the mirror of our story? Beautiful and soaring highs that led to this, a cold and plummeting downfall.

I reach for her hands, silence and shadows around us. She sighs, curling against me as our fingers thread together. An upbeat song begins and I'm suddenly grateful for it. She's getting on a plane in a few hours...and I need to be able to let her.

Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands

"She's going to be furious with me," I say softly.

Gregory's hands are warm against my own as he looks down at me. "That I waited more than a month to tell her," he explains.

I nod, our entwined hands against his chest. "Perhaps," I sigh, taking a deep breath. "But, if that's the last secret between you, she'll forgive you."

His eyes fall and he slowly shakes his head. "It's not the last one," he whispers, watching our hands. Colin's diamond sparkles on my hand, the emerald cut so different from the one Gregory gave me thirty years ago. Quietly, I watch as he brings my hand to his mouth. His lips are gentle against my knuckles, dancing over them as he nuzzles my hand. Slowly, his eyes turn up to me, full of everything he isn't saying.

He loves me.

She tilts her head, watching me carefully. What's done is done. We can't change our past or everything we've done that's led to this precise moment. We can't go back.

But, as she looks back up at me, her sapphire eyes shining, I see it.

She loves me.

And, this is all we have. This quiet moment as a song of heartfelt longing swells around us.

"I-" she gasps and I shake my head, gently capturing her face. I don't need to hear her say it.

If.

If only love was enough.

His eyes never leave me as he leans in. We've stood this way thousands of times before. But, of course, this time is different.

My chest presses against his before I feel his lips against mine, a hint of scotch on them. Slowly, I tilt my head, still knowing how we fit together after all these years.

I feel her kiss me back, her fingertips fluttering against my jaw. Every emotion crests on her lips, summed up in the gentle moan that rises in her throat.

If there is one thing she remembers of us, let it be this.

Gently, reluctantly, I pull back, a breathless sigh on her lips. "I love you," she gasps, her eyes poring into mine.

I need to say it so he can hear it. That's the only way I can leave him.

He nods and rests his forehead against mine. "I love you too, Liv," he murmurs.

I smile back.

At peace.

Olivia looks up at me, wearing a radiant smile. "Will you write me?" she asks, reaching up to hold my hands.

Her question is so hopeful, so earnest, that I can't help but smile back at her. I nod as I listen to her explain, "Tell me about Trey. Everything that Caitlin wouldn't think is important enough to tell me." She watches me carefully, roses coloring her cheeks. "Tell me about you."

All of my angry words after Trey's birth come back to me, dulling my smile. The way I shouted at her. The way I doubted her. Years ago, she begged for my forgiveness. She said it was the only thing she needed. "Liv, I'm-"

She looks back at me, her face falling. She hears it in my voice. She knows what I'm trying to say. Her eyes soften as she shakes her head, squeezing my hands. She knows I'm sorry. For everything I did. For everything I said.

"It's alright, darling," she murmurs, her hands holding tight to my own. "I know."

For everything that drove us to this place.

"I'll write to you," I promise softly as she steps back, our woven hands stretched between us.

"There's been a hole in my life these last few years," I say, watching his face wrinkle with confusion. I squeeze his hands as I breathlessly continue, "And, I wonder...maybe it's you."

Because, from the moment I saw him, I thought he was the most fascinating person. He was the only one I could stay up all night talking to, about anything and everything.

Does he remember those lazy nights in his old apartment? All those sleepy conversations as we lay tangled in an embrace? When mere talk became the way we shared our souls?

"Do you think we can be friends again?" she asks quietly.

Happy we'll be beyond the sea

I nod at the prospect.

At peace.

A/N: Several Bobby Darin songs carried this chapter. In order, they are: "Mack the Knife" (music by Kurt Weill, English lyrics by Marc Blitzstein), "The Curtain Falls" (written by Sol Weinstein), and "Beyond the Sea" (music by Charles Trenet and Albert Lasry, English lyrics by Jack Lawrence).