Tali was taking a break.
It felt a bit embarrassing to just sit down on a crate, another acting a backrest, while there was work to be done, but at the moment she just couldn't make herself get up...
How many Cerberus facilities have we hit now? A dozen? Two? Keelah...can't remember.
Stretching out her legs before her, feeling the strain of tired muscles as she did so, Tali found herself suppressing a yawn as she rested her head against the crate behind her.
The cargo hold was...quiet. Everything on this ship is so...quiet... But now it was even quieter then normal, an air of comfortable exhaustion residing in the room...even with her air-filters Tali could taste it.
It was no surprise, ever since the death of the human admiral and the slight stop in activity among the crew – one would think the death of a single member of the species wouldn't be such a big deal, humans and their luxuries... – the pace had shifted to one of intense activity, they had jumped from planet to planet, torn through the Cerberus bases they had found, and when not they took on pirates, mercenaries and slavers...almost in passing it seemed.
Shepard had pushed the pace...and Tali was actually wondering how long the rest of the crew could keep up.
To her left Garrus was sitting on the floor, back against one of the Mako's wheels, cleaning the sniper rifle that had gotten so much practice as of late...though it was with slow and calm movements, the man was not really cleaning the weapon as much as he was enjoying a rest. His moves were precise though, not letting the weapon become ruined even now...though he was taking his time, savouring his work, or rather, his rest.
At the other end of the cargo hold there was a surprisingly small wheezing sound as Wrex slept, the Krogan's snore a low whistling as he lay on his side on the floor, head propped up against his helmet. Guess the crest atop his skull makes him insensitive to the hard surface...sort of like me... Tali found her hand moving up to her helmet, touching it lightly before her hand dropped down with a frown of irritation on her lips.
She's caught herself doing that more and more...back in the Flotilla she never really thought about her helmet and the suit... Sure, it defined every Quarian's life even on the fleet...but when everyone had the same handicap no´one really thought about it, it was...normal. Even away from her home it hadn't been difficult ignoring it, she had been the outsider on every planet she'd arrived at...it had been natural for her to be different.
But here...here she wasn't an outsider, she was accepted...even popular...though she hardly dared think that in case it would prove an illusion, that the crew was just being nice to the little Quarian. But no...she knew she was appreciated on the ship, liked...
Yet she was still different...and now there was no outsider status that could explain it, she just was...and it constantly made her aware of what was different...and she didn't much care for it.
I miss home...maybe that's why they send us out on the pilgrimage? Just to feel how...we don't fit in anywhere else?
It was a depressing thought. The first place she had felt welcome in since the start of her pilgrimage...and she was still different, someone defined by what she was as much, if not more, then who she was...
I wish I was human... She shook the horrible thought aside, it was a rebellious thing, not befitting a woman of the Quarian people, never mind the daughter of an admiral that had been taught to do everything for her people, to love them more then her own family! Yet she knew the thought would return, it was a plaguing little thing...promising fantasies of freedom from a prison of survival and struggle...which had no place in a responsible adult.
As if to taunt her Ashley, sitting a few feet away on a crate, her back against one of the wide pillars dominating the centre of the cargo hold, yawned out loud as she leant back, her hands digging into her black mane of head-fur Michael had called hair... The long carpet was freed from the usual bun the woman kept it in, her uniform wrinkly upon her body, the woman apparently too tired to have put on a new one.
Tali found herself envious.
I never get to change my suit...sure, it's kept clean by internal washing...but I'd love to try wearing something wrinkly, to choose something nice...something different. Keelah...just to take clothes off for once... She held back the blush at the thought, her eyes darting to Ashley as the woman with a sigh shook her hair, scratching an itch at her scalp. The black mane was so...beautiful... Wish I could do something to my quills...colour them or shorten them or...just have them seen for once...
This isn't helping...Sighing she looked away from the other woman. Normally she liked Ashley's company, sure the woman was a bit too blunt and forward...but that was mostly fun...
Not currently though, nor for the last few days. Ever since that – Tali shook off a scowl – 'fight'...she had found herself somewhat ambivalent towards Ashley. Makes no sense...she shrugged off the jab of illogical dislike as she spoke: "Tired?"
"You kidding?" Ashley chuckled, eyes dropping slightly as she looked back at Tali with a weary turn of her head. "Michael is working me harder then a fucking drill Sergeant..." Her head cocked to the side, a small smile on her lips. Content. "...not that that's bad..." Tali shrugged aside the spike of irritation. "...but damn..."
"He's worked us all hard." Garrus muttered, not looking up from his rifle, though Tali could tell he wasn't paying it much attention by now, judging by the slight fiddling of his hands. "I don't think there's a Cerberus facility left in the entire Terminus system."
"That's the thing with roaches." Ashley crossed her arms over that obscene chest human women seemed gifted with – Tali hadn't dared asking Michael about that before – her stance that of a woman knowing her trade and accepting its problems. "You can never fully exterminate them."
"I'd call Rachni roaches." Garrus muttered, shrugging in disinterest, his correction automatic. "Cerberus is more like...extremists."
"Whatever, that wasn't the point of the analogy Garrus, and you know it." Ashley sighed, rolling her eyes. "Why do I bother...?"
"Because-"
"Shut up Garrus." Ashley sighed, hands coming up to rub her temples. Another thing I can't do...Tali suppressed the bitterness as the human woman looked over at her. "I must say I'm impressed Tali, considering that you've been working non-stop here on the ship and on ground missions I'm surprised you're not asleep already."
Guilt. It was a small jab of it, but Tali forced herself to acknowledge it. I'm being irritated with her as she's caring for me...and I don't even understand the reason for my irritation. Father would never want me to be like that...we're better then that. "I think Quarians need less sleep then humans, and my suit's been compensating any tiredness..."
"Wait...drugs?" There was a shift in Ashley's stance as she sat, disagreement... "Tali, honey, you really shouldn't..."
Tali waved the lecture aside with a tired hand. "No, not drugs, it's normal Quarian medicines, herbs, the suit has some in storage for instant injection..." Shouldn't mention that I'm fast running out of it...
"On Turian ships it's fine to use drugs, as long as it doesn't affect your performance." Garrus pointed out, now carefully laying his sniper rifle down next to him as he looked at the two women. "I for one still have trouble seeing why using them is inherently wrong...aren't medicines drugs?"
"I...yes...sure..." Ashley shook her head, obviously baffled that she'd have to explain something so obvious...and Tali watched with some interest, she too interested in the answer. "...but just using them constantly, as an every day occurrence...it messes the body up, and then you crash, hard...it's dangerous."
"Not if you use caution and are thoughtful about doses." Garrus countered, though Tali could tell there was no heat in the argument, the Turian was just prodding the human, finding some sort of amusement out of arguing for argument's sake. He's an odd Turian...
"Too much of a risk." Ashley growled, stance irritated. "Why risk death or addiction because of such a small thing?"
Garrus shifted, amused. Oh dear... "Well if you want every advantage you can get it's not-"
"So, Shepard..." Tali interrupted, stopping the argument in the making from escalating as her head snapped left and right to make sure the two were looking at her. "...how do you think he does it? He's leading every mission, not being cycled around for rest like the rest of us..." That is odd actually, how does he do it? Perhaps...hmmm...I don't know enough about humans to theorize... "Ashley? Any ideas?"
The woman laughed, looking amused. "Well obviously he's a superman, haven't you seen the size of that guy? He has too much energy stored up..."
"Maybe he knows the value of drugs." Garrus replied, the shift of irritation in Ashley clearly amusing him. "Or perhaps he simply sleeps a lot when we're not watching. Well I for one don't watch that often...Ashley?"
The human woman's cheeks got redder at that, but she shook it off with a low growl. "Perhaps, how should I know?" Tali grimaced, happy that she had her visor for once. "I'm telling you, as far as I'm concerned he's doing a great job, and he's not faltering in the least, why worry?"
"Because it's...odd." Tali shrugged, then looked away. What do I know? He's a human after all...for all I know human men are capable of this, though considering Kaidan...no...it has to be something...off. "Sorry, Quarian, we're a social people, which means we like to meddle I guess..."
"Oh don't beat yourself up." Ashley smiled as she spoke the term Tali still found a bit odd. Why would I beat myself...? The hand coming up to pat Tali on the shoulder was a friendly gesture though, which Tali accepted with a struggling smile hidden behind her visor. "If it makes you feel any better I'll keep an eye on him..." No, it won't. "...though I doubt it's necessary..."
"Me neither." Garrus added, shrugging. "Though you've got to admit it's quite impressive considering that we three are about to fall asleep and-"
A thump and the door to the elevator opened, revealing a grinning Michael jogging out even before the door fully opened.
The three immediately stirred, the air, so tired, suddenly energized... How does he do that! Such...influence...
"Hey guys!" The man came to a stop before the three, grinning like a madman. "I have it! We're going to the Artmis Tau system!"
Garrus was suddenly on his feet, eyes afire with a grey glow. "You've got a lead on Saren?"
"No." Michael, shook his head, but was still grinning, enjoying his victory, his body nearly shaking with pent up energy, making Tali feel her own weariness lift like an old cloak. "But Benezia!" He raised his hand, pointing a finger at the ceiling. Which means it's something important, not an accusation as when he points it at you...humans are fascinating... "Or rather, her daughter!"
"She has a daughter?" Ashley unnecessarily asked as she got to her feet, looking confused. "How will she be of any help?"
"She's a lead." Garrus replied with a scoff, for once the one frustrated with the other.
"Exactly!" Michael replied, eager face whipping to the Turian, finger still raised. "And we're going to get her before Benezia does!" He finally dropped his hands, but the glow of fervent energy was still around him as he looked at them with eyes afire with excitement. "So prepare! We've already made the jump and I want everyone ready for immediate drop!"
"Right Shepard." Tali nodded, feeling her chest swell with an eagerness mirroring the man's own. Amazing how leaders can do that... She already found her hand moving to the gun strapped to her hip, ready to fight, to win, the weariness forgotten.
The man shot her a short and thankful nod, then grinned at the three. "This is our chance, we finally have a chance to pick up the trail!"
A pause, him looking them over with a prideful stance...and then he whirled about and ran for the elevator, passing, and kicking, Wrex awake. "Wake up! We're in for a fight! Ha! I knew reading pays off!"
Wrex muttered, snorted, then turned his head to glare at the man already in the elevator. "Ever read what happens when you kick a sleeping Krogan?"
Tali found herself laughing.
8
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Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her keen help.