Chapter 5- How It Happened
Once Sora closed the door and left to go stay with Roxas and Namine, I slumped down into the couch. I grabbed what was left of my ice cream and stuffed the spoon in my mouth. I tried to continue watching the mystery movie with Riku, but something was on my mind. I dropped my spoon in the bowl and slid the bowl on the table with a loud clink. Riku looked at me with his spoon dangling out of his mouth. I shifted to face him.
"Riku," I sighed turning down the volume. "Can I ask you something?'
"Um, sure." Riku placed his bowl on the table and sat up. "What is it?"
"What's up with Sora?" I asked. Riku didn't' answer right away and I knew that wasn't a good sign. "Riku?"
"Look, it's not between the three of us. It's between Sora and you. I'm sure whatever's on his mind will be spoken eventually. Don't worry, Kairi. Try not to dwell on whatever is bothering Sora. He'll deal with it."
"But he used to always come to me if something was on his mind." I couldn't help it; all these emotions suddenly started to build inside. "Riku, I'm scared."
"Kairi, don't be." Riku pulled me close and hugged me tight. Tears found their way to my cheeks. "Sora, he really does love you. Whatever happens, happens."
"I know, but it's still so hard." I choked out. "He's been acting so strange lately. He's not the same. I'm scared he doesn't want to be with me anymore." It all came out at once. My body went into a fit of shakes as I cried my heart out into Riku's arms. He tried to hush me and calm me down. It would work for a bit until the thought of Sora leaving me rushed into my head.
---
Dear Diary,
Something's been changing in my life and I'm not sure how to take it all in. Sora and I are going through something, I can feel it. Riku tells me not to worry about it but my heart can sense it. We're still so young and I know this is just plain lucky to have made it this far. I love him to death and I'm so scared to have my heartbroken again. I trust Sora but something is up and I wish he would just come talk to me about it. I want us to last forever. I'm supposed to spend forever with him. My future involves him, it has for so long. I just wish I knew what was going on.
Love always, Kairi
It was weird to wake up and not find Sora here. Riku had already left for work and it was my day off. I sat at my computer chair and stared at my recent diary entry. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my only day off this week. I turned off my computer and decided to see if Amanda and Namine wanted to hang out.
I met up with the two at Town Square since Amanda had to work in a few hours. We decided to have lunch at The Flowering Tree Café outside.
"So, what's new?" Namine asked sipping on her water.
"You already know." I sighed folding the corners of my napkin.
"I'm sorry, Kairi." She reached over and hugged me while I tried to hold back from crying.
"What happened?" Amanda asked either of us anxiously.
"Sora is staying at our apartment for a few days." Namine answered for me.
"What? Why!"
"I don't know." I whispered.
"Do you?" Amanda looked at Namine.
"Roxas and Sora always talk in private." She shrugged. "Every time I ask either of them what's up, they both reply 'It's a guy thing'." I slapped the edge of the table out of frustration causing the items on it to rattle. Amanda and Namine sat in silence just watching me.
"Sorry."
"So, um, did you find a story you're going to submit yet?" Amanda asked, quickly changing the subject, which in ways I was quite thankful for.
"Still looking. I have a little while longer. I just hope I pick a good enough one."
"You're stories are beyond amazing. They'll be idiots if you're not picked." Namine said. Amanda nodded in agreement.
"Thanks." I smiled slightly. Our waitress came out with our food. Amanda and Namine talked mainly and tired their best to include me, but I just couldn't focus. I had other things on my mind; a memory was lingering in my brain.
"Life in high school is completely different from being a kid." Sora said as he flipped through some of my CD's on the floor of my room. He was leaning back against the edge of my bed. I was on my stomach on my bed, with my head near Sora's so we could talk easily.
"I know! I miss being a kid. Life was so easy back then." I frowned as I watched CD after CD switching off in Sora's hands.
"What do you think the future holds?" He turned and looked at me. Of course him just focusing his attention on me, even for a little bit, was overwhelming, in a good way. I smiled at him as he handed me a CD of his choice. I got up and put it in before taking my spot on my bed.
"Who really knows, honestly." I shrugged as he stared at me. "Everything is really unpredictable, especially after high school."
"Thank goodness we still have this year and senior year to finish before we take on that challenge." He grinned. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Yeah, thank goodness." I agreed. "But we still have to finish these years too. A lot can change within a week let alone a year. Friends are always going to come and go, along with people you wish you never met."
"Hopefully our friendship will always be strong."
"I really hope so." I loved hearing that Sora wanted to be friends forever, but it was killing me since I wanted so much more out of this. I wasn't going to complain though.
"Oh, this is a good song." Sora said looking at the stereo. "Tonight" by FM Static began to play. Sora and I sat there in silence and listened to the song for a little while. Every so often, I could see him mouthing the words then look at me smiling. I could always feel my face become a little warm as I smiled shyly at him. "So what do you want to do with your life?"
"I don't know really. I know I want to finish college and become an author and just have a semi-fairytale life. You know, the decent sized house, a wonderful, loving husband with children. Just something every girl dreams of when she's young."
"That sounds nice." He nodded leaning back on his hands.
"What about you?"
"Go to the University of Destiny Islands, go into some business and make it good." He laughed. "But of course I want to get married and have a family. That'd be nice."
"Aw, that sounds really good." I smiled. "Hopefully both of our dreams come true."
"I really hope so. I'd do anything to achieve my goals in life. That's pretty much what we live for, right?"
"So true."
"We'll make it." Sora winked. "We'll conquer the world, together." He extended his hand out to me. I grinned and shook his hand.
"Kairi!" Namine was waving her hand in front of my face which snapped me out of my staring faze. My eyes looked at her. "Something wrong?"
"No. I'm just a little out of it, that's all." I said beginning to eat my lunch.
---
A couple weeks had passed and nothing seemed to improve. I'd see Sora at work and it was strictly business. At home, he'd always find a way to be busy with either hanging with the guys or school work. At night, he'd go to bed when he thought I was asleep. When I try to be with him, there's always an excuse. If only he would realize I cried my self to sleep each night.
"Kairi." His voice was barely audible. I was curled up on the couch, reading a book with Princess. It was my first day off with Sora in a while. He was standing near the couch after being barricaded in the bedroom since early this morning. I looked up at him. His eyes seemed heavy and tired, and just a mess in general.
"Yeah?" I replied in almost a whisper.
"Can we talk?"
"Of course." I sat up and made room for him to sit with me. Maybe he was going to apologize finally. He took a deep breath in. We were left in a couple seconds of silence while he gathered his thoughts.
"I bet you've been wondering why I've been so distant from you lately." He couldn't look me in the eye for more than a glance.
"That would be nice to know."
"Well, I think I need more time to grow up. We're still really young and I still feel like I need to enjoy life to the fullest without worrying if I'm going to hurt you or something." I could tell he had been thinking about this a long time. My stomach seemed to do flips as tears filled the rims of my eyes.
"What are you trying to tell me?" A lone tear dripped onto the back of my hand. Sora quickly reached for my hand and wrapped it tightly with his.
"I do want to be with you, because I really do love you. I just think we should take a break for a month or so. It's like that saying 'you never know what you have until it's gone'." Too bad I already knew what I had. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." I released my hand from his to wipe the tears that seemed to shower down now. "I'm okay." 'Liar' I told myself.
"So, what do you think?" He really wanted this. I don't know what he planned to do without me that he couldn't do already. It's not like I'm strict or overpowering. If it was hanging out with his friends, he already had it. If it was seeing other girls, I sure hope not. He wasn't the type... I think, I hope.
"Sure. Whatever you want." I choked on my tears. I got up and went straight into the bedroom, locking the door behind me. I heard a light knock with Sora trying to call me, but I ignored him and went into the bathroom. I let all my sadness and anger out as I watched my face in the mirror change from composed to a wreck. I stayed in there for about half an hour crying before walking out in the livingroom where Sora was waiting for me.
"We don't need to do this if it bothers you this much." Sora's face was somber now.
"No, we'll do it. I'll do it for you." My eyes were focused on my twisting hands. He walked over and hugged me and I quickly returned it, only to cry more.
"Thank you." He whispered in my ear before letting go. "I'll go pack."
"No." I stopped him and looked at him as I wiped my eyes again. "You stay here with Riku. I'll go live with my parents." I walked into the bedroom and began packing all my essentials. It didn't take me too long before I returned into the livingroom again.
"I'll help you to your car." Sora took my things and we walked out to the parking lot. We put my bags into the backseat and Sora opened the drivers seat door for me and waited until I was buckled up.
"Thanks." I frowned.
"Drive safely." Sora seemed sad now. I nodded and he closed the door. We waved goodbye and watched me pull out. As soon as I drove down the street and he was out of sight, the tears flowed uncontrollably.
---
About forty minutes later, through heavy traffic, I made it to my parents house. They had no idea that I was coming and I sure was hoping they wouldn't mind me staying for who knows how long. I parked my car in front of the house and gathered my two bags from the backseat. I sniffled a couple of times as I made my way up the side walk. A lot of memories were left at this house. I put my bags down and lightly knocked on the door. Shortly after, the door swung open to reveal my mom.
"Kairi!" She quickly embraced me. "What are you doing here?"
"Sora and I are taking a break for a while. Is it okay if I stay here for the time being?" I asked quietly.
"Oh honey, of course." My mom picked up one of my bags and I picked up the other. We walked inside and my mom called for my dad.
"What's wrong?" My dad came over and hugged me. I made the explanation for me being at their house short. I didn't feel like going through what I had been through the last month. My dad did not look too pleased and my mom looked heartbroken. Both of my parents helped me to my old room. Once we arrived to the second floor, my mom and dad went back downstairs to make me a late lunch. I closed the door behind my parents and took in the familiar place.
Everything was pretty much the same in here. The only things that were missing are the little touches of pictures that I used to have and the energy that used to fill this place. I sat on my old bed and looked at my window that faced Shawn's parents house. I could still remember when it was Sora's house. That's when the memories of when he told me he loved me came flooding back.
"Kairi." Sora said quietly. I turned to face him, still smiling. "I have to tell you something." I looked at him, my smile slowly fading.
"What is it?" I asked holding onto his hand.
"It's nothing bad, don't worry." He said with a smile, "I'm just nervous about how you'll react."
"Then tell me." I said reassuringly.
"Well, ever since 5th grade, I've had a crush on you. I wanted to tell you so bad, but when I found out you were moving, I figured it wouldn't matter. I gave you that diary, so hopefully you would write about me. Of course I never would know if you would or not. I wrote something to you on the last page. Did you read that?" Sora said.
"I didn't even know you wrote me." I said. "You really had a crush on me?" He nodded. "You should have told me!"
"Sorry it took awhile. I was scared. But I will tell you now that the crush hasn't really disappeared. I don't know if it's really a crush or not though." Sora said.
"Huh? What do you mean you don't know if it's a crush or not?" I asked confused. Sora leaned over to me and lightly kissed my lips. I felt weak at his touch, how typical. He pulled away and placed his hand on my cheek.
"I think I love you Kairi. I know I don't know what love is, I don't think anyone really does anymore, but I have a strong gut feeling that I do love you." Sora said so sweetly. My heart was beating faster. I felt the same way! I wrapped him in a hug.
"I think I love you too Sora." I whispered. He kissed my head. I was so happy. We pulled away from the hug. The sun was getting ready to set. I rested my head on his shoulder, holding his hand. He wrapped his other arm around me. We watched the sun go down in complete silence, besides the crashing of the waves below. Soon the night's stars danced above our heads. He decided to walk me home. We walked hand in hand the whole way there. "Thanks for the wonderful day." I said at the doorstep.
"Anytime." Sora replied.
I wiped away a tear as I forcefully laid back onto my old bed. It wasn't fair that this happened and part of me began to hate Sora. I was mixed in feelings of love and hate and I wasn't quite sure what to do with them. What I did know though, was that I couldn't be the same around him. I was going to have to change my attitude at work. He is no longer my fiancé, but my boss. Things were going to be different from now on and that's what was killing me.
My phone rang and I looked to see who it was, secretly hoping it was Sora. It was Cloud. I wanted to pick it up but I knew he was going to know something was wrong.
"Hello?" I said softly as I sat up.
"Hey Kairi." He knew. It was that obvious. "I heard what happened." A tear crept down my cheek and I began to sniffle.
"Gosh," I tried to laugh but it didn't work. "Nothing's changed since high school. Everyone still seems to know everything in a matter of a couple hours." More tears were streaming down my face. I reached over for the tissues that were on the old dresser I used to put my diary in. "How'd you find out?"
"Riku. He called and told me to check up on you because him and Sora were going out."
"Going out where?" I asked anxiously. I don't know why, but it just made me nervous.
"He didn't say." Cloud replied. That's when it all happened. I crashed. I curled up into a ball as the tears flowed by free will.
"Cloud." I said through my clenched teeth and I tried to hold back the hurt. "I can't do this! I hurt so bad! Why did he have to do this to me! Why do I have to be the one to suffer! I don't want to be me anymore!"
"Kairi," His voice became sincere. "Shh. It will be okay. Things will get better."
"How! When!" I was screaming through all the tears. It hurt so bad and I never though I'd feel this way. "I love him and he claims to love me but he's hurting me so bad! He promised he'd never hurt me!" I began the uncontrollable crying fit with the hic-up like breathing.
"He loves you, Kairi. He just needs time to think it through. Give time a chance."
"But I hurt..." I whispered.
"I know. I know." It always seemed weird to me when Cloud got this way. This also didn't help though. It made me wish he was here to comfort me. I didn't want to be alone and I think he knew that too. "Why don't you call someone to spend the night with you. You shouldn't have to go through this alone tonight."
"I'll try to get a hold of someone." I was wiping the tears away angrily.
"I wish I could stay on the phone with you until you felt better, but I have to get to class now. I'll call you tonight to check up. It'll be okay, I swear." Cloud said calmly.
"Thank you."
"Of course. Bye."
"Bye." I hung up the phone and turned it on silent. I crawled under the covers and snuggled close into the pillows. My body was worn out but I knew I wasn't done crying. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.
A/N: Wow, that took too long to updated. I'm sorry it took so long guys! Thank you for all the reviews, seriously! The reason it took so long was this whole similar thing to me, it was hard to try to feel the way I did the night that my boyfriend said he wanted a break because lately everything has been so perfect between us, it's almost unreal. School also kept me on my feet but semester is done for a while so hopefully I can update again before I go back. Thanks again for the reviews and thanks for sticking around!