Chapter 6- The Edge of Regret
(Sora's Point of View)
Riku and I got into his truck and drove down to where our old neighborhood was. Just a few streets away from our old houses, we stopped and parked in a vacant dirt area. We both got out without saying a word and headed down the street. Finally, the little clearing showed up in the bushes and trees. Riku led the way to the secret beach we all used to hang out at. None of us had really visited this place since before graduation. As soon as I saw the clear blue water and familiar area we used to enjoy, I instantly remembered something.
It was sometime before Valentines Day our Junior year. I was really sick and trying to sleep when my bedroom door opened. I figured it was my mom, plus I was way too exhausted to open my eyes. I felt weight on my bed and someone lean over. I didn't move. That's when I heard my mom at my door.
"Poor thing, he has had a bad fever since last night." I heard her say. She walked away after just a couple seconds. When I realized it wasn't my mom, I tried to think of who it could be. It could have been Riku to pick on me for missing out on the beach day. A cool, soft hand fell over my cheek and that's when I knew who it was.
"I just came to tell you something, but I don't want to disturb you." I heard Kairi say in almost a whisper. "You look so peaceful, so I guess I'll wait." Her had was replaced by a delicate kiss and a few footsteps out of my room followed by the door closing. I was left in silence.
I slowly opened my eyes and gathered up as much strength as I could, which took a couple minutes. I got out of bed and looked out my window toward Kairi's house. Her bedroom light turned off. I reached for my cell phone at the end of my bed and returned to the window dialing her number. Just before I dialed the last number, she walked out the front door. That's when I got the idea to call Cloud up.
"Hello?" He answered just after two rings.
"Cloud, it's Sora." My voice was nasally. I hated being sick.
"Oh, hey, how are you feeling?"
"Slowly getting better. Can I ask you a favor?" I started to pick up my pace and get out of my pajamas and into some clothes.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Can I say I'm spending the night at your house?"
"Um, sure."
"Thanks, I'll explain later!" I hung up the phone and hurried down the stairs. At the last step, I clung to the wall with one hand and the other to my face. "Oh, wow, I'm dizzy." I pulled it together and asked my mom if I could go to Cloud's house. She didn't seem to willing since I was sick, but just one glance of the sad, pouty lip from her only son, I was able to leave. Once I was outside, I looked down the end of the street to see Kairi turn right. It was hard to follow her, but I managed. I saw her sit on the beach with her legs pulled to her chest. I quietly walked over and sat next to her.
"Oh, my gosh, what are you doing here?" It looked as if she had just seen a ghost. I couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. I explained myself and she nodded. "Oh, so are you going to spend the night at Clouds?" I shrugged.
"So what is it that you wanted to tell me?" I asked curiously. Kairi wasn't quick to answer. It seemed as though she was really considering if she wanted to tell me or not.
"Okay, remember how you said you've liked me since fifth grade?" I nodded. "Well, I've liked you since third grade, yeah I know that's a long time to like someone. I've had other crushes between then, but you were the only one I couldn't manage to escape from. Well, when you told me last week that you loved me, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. You don't know how much that meant to me. Sora, I love you, I love you so so much."
"I love you too, Kairi." I was excited to hear that and if I weren't sick, it would have been easier to show it. I knew she wanted to tell me more though. She took in a deep breath.
"Well, since we both love each other and care so much about one another. Okay, before I say anymore, I know it's pretty customary for the guy to ask the girl, but I wanted to ask..." She stopped and looked down. I knew what she wanted to say but I wanted her to say it before I replied.
"Kairi..." I put my hand under her chin to have her look at me.
"Sora, will you go out with me?" I couldn't help but smile at her.
"I was hoping you'd say that." I whispered before going in for a kiss. We hugged before we both laid back into the sand and watched the stars dance above us. I reached for her hand and she snuggled up close.
"I love you." I heard her say.
"I love you too." I smiled.
"I feel horrible! I hate seeing her like that." I covered my face with my hands angrily as I remembered her tear stained face.
"It's called love. It isn't always easy." Riku said as if he were the master of love. I looked at him skeptically.
"You make it sound like it's nothing big, like we can get over the problems easily."
"You can."
"If that's so, why aren't you back with Amanda yet?" I asked curiously. He sat there staring out into the mid afternoon sky for a little while before looking down into the sand.
"I don't know."
"That's what I thought." I stretched back.
"It's not like I don't want to be with her. I've been missing her like crazy." Riku sighed. "She was the only one who was able to see every fault I had and love me for them. She always treated me great too, I just don't know what went wrong."
"I feel that way about Kairi. She's perfect for me. I hope I got it clear that it's just a break and not a break up. I don't think I could stand seeing her with another guy."
"We're pathetic." Riku said. "We're two guys who are hopelessly in love with two wonderful girls and can't do anything about it. Well, at least you can do something since you were the one who completely just destructed Kairi's life. Not me, I'm just a lonely guy waiting in darkness for the only girl I ever loved."
"Thanks, you make me sound like a real prince charming." I replied sarcastically. "I'm sure you and Amanda will get back together. You're not in complete darkness, buddy." He looked at me and smiled a little.
"I'm sure Kairi understands where you're coming from. You just want a break, not to be entirely single, but not to be held back completely either. A lot of people go through it, she'll understand. Plus, the whole world knows how much you love her. You'll eventually see what's right too."
"Yeah, I hope so. I just know for a fact, I don't want to be without her forever." We both sighed.
---
I had to admit, waking up in our bed without Kairi was not something I liked, let alone could get use to. It was the third day without her by my side as I got ready for work. It was the first day we'd actually talk or see each other since she moved back to her parents house. I would have seen her at work the last couple days but she called in.
I got into work by ten and my stomach was in knots on the way up to my office. I don't know why I was so nervous; but I do admit, I was really anxious to see Kairi too. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I saw Kairi sitting at her desk doing some paper work. I walked in and only had her in site. I stopped at her desk to look at the in box for me.
"Hi, Kairi." I smiled, hoping to see her face light up. She looked up at me, not really smiling.
"Good morning, Mr. Hikaru." Kairi handed me the paper work she was working on, then stood up and walked down the hall. I was stunned. Talk about a burn right there. In the office full of people, my ears could only hear the stupid buzzing noise as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. Okay, so maybe I deserved that. I walked into my office and closed the door behind me. I worked on the papers Kairi handed me for almost half an hour when I saw Kairi finally return to her desk outside of my office. Not too long after she returned, I saw someone I wish I hadn't stand in front of her desk. She seemed just as surprised as Shawn began to talk to her.
I got up out of my seat and walked to my door where I stood in my doorway. His hands were put in front of him as he leaned into Kairi. She just sat there and looked up at him. I cleared my throat and crossed my arms. They both looked up at me.
"Ah, Sora Hikaru." Shawn stood up and stared at me with a smirk.
"What are you doing here, Shawn?" I asked angrily. Before he could answer, our boss from level 58 walked in with a huge grin on his face.
"Can I get everyone's attention!" He bellowed happily. Everyone on our level looked in our direction as he walked over to Shawn and put his hand on his shoulder. "I'd like to introduce you to my newest member of level 58, Shawn Johnson. He's going to be in charge if I'm not here and I'd prefer you all go to him before coming to me with documents." I was dumb founded. That meant that Shawn was a position higher than me. He was now the boss of me.
"Thank you." Shawn smiled happily. "I'm looking forward to working with all of you."
"Okay, you may all return to your work now." Our boss walked down the hall to his office.
"As you were saying?" Shawn said with a smile of satisfaction. I shook my head and returned to my office. I sat down in my chair and let my head fall onto the stack of papers before me.
"Someone kill me now." I sighed heavily.
---
A couple hours had past and Shawn kept revisiting Kairi every once in a while. Every time he came near her, I cringed with anger. I was typing a document into my computer when there was a knock on the door. I looked up to see another shocker. I waved my hand to motion her to enter.
"Christy." I said.
"Hey, Sora." Christy Jillings was standing in front of me with a business suit on, her dirty blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and some folders in her hands. "I have some things for you."
"What are you doing here?"
"I work here." She smiled. "I got hired a couple weeks ago in level 57."
"Oh, wow. I never knew." I said standing up. Last time Christy and I saw each other, her and Shawn came as a couple to our graduation party.
"Well you don't hear too much when you're on different floors." She laughed causing me to smile. "Although, the news did travel down about you and Kairi."
"Oh," I said sitting down again. "Wonderful." Christy moved to one of the chairs in front of my desk.
"I'm really sorry." She said. I looked past her to see Kairi double glance into my office. Her eyes widened when she noticed it was Christy. Although, once she saw that I was looking back at her, she turned away.
"You don't need to." I said calmly.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Christy leaned in a little and gave me a warm smile as she took one of my hands in hers. This caught me off guard. I looked down at our hands before I pulled back.
"What are your real intentions, Christy?" This made me too suspicious. She looked shocked.
"Well," She sighed. "Okay, this is going to sound stupid, but I want to make Shawn jealous. I know he's going after Kairi again, the whole level 57 is talking about it."
"Wait, what?" I said leaning in. This did and didn't surprise me at the same time.
"It was obvious that he never got over Kairi fully. Trust me, I saw it all the time; although there was no doubt about our own love." As I looked at Christy, I could tell she had matured. Her face, her style, her body (yes, I know I should not be paying attention to this exact detail, I am a male, so shoot me), it just wasn't what I was expecting. She leaned in so that she was only five inches away from my face and looked at me intensely. It caught me off guard. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Shawn standing by Kairi's desk looking in and Kairi sitting in her chair with her mouth slightly ajar. "I know they're looking our way."
"Well, you definitely got their attention." I said to her quietly.
"So, what do you say Sora?" Christy whispered. "You ready to get Kairi back and help me make Shawn squirm with jealousy?"
"I see you still have that little cruel heart of yours." I smirked as I tilted my head a little.
"What can I say?" She grinned evilly. "You can't always deny that little dark spot in my heart."
"Before I even really consider what you have in mind," I leaned back into my chair. "Tell me what happened between you and Shawn in the first place."
"How about you think about it a little more and ask me again later. I need to get back to work." She stood up and opened the door, but turned back with a seductive smile. "I'll see you soon, Mr. Hikaru."
I sat very still in my chair as Christy walked past Kairi. Kairi was watching Christy carefully before she disappeared behind the elevator doors. Kairi looked back into my office just staring at me. We looked at each other carefully. That's when she got out of her seat and walked into my office, closing the door behind her.
"What was that about?" Her voice was a little strained and full of worry.
"Kairi, it's not what you think. It was nothing." I said frowning a little.
"It sure didn't look like nothing." Kairi took in a deep breath. "What, is that why you wanted to take a break with me? So you could go and be with your ex again?"
"What!" I said standing up. "No way! Kairi, I took a break with you because we need time apart. I have no intension of dating anyone else. I love you, isn't that enough for you to trust me?"
"Sora, think about what you said." Her voice was soft as her eyes became glossy. "You say you love me and to trust you, but I trusted you to never hurt me like this. How can I be so sure that you actually really love me?"
"Kairi..." I was hurt by that. I took a step closer and just embraced her in a hug. "Kairi, please, just believe me that I do love you if you can't believe anything else I say." Her arms found their way around me and her body began to shake as she cried.
"Hum..." I knew her mind was really trying to consider what I said. I lifted her chin up so she could look me directly in the eye.
"Promise me that much." She was hesitant as she stared up at me. I reached over with my other hand and cleared her face of her crystal tears.
"Okay." Kairi finally managed to say.
"Thank you." I whispered in her ear as I hugged her one last time before sending her back to work. As I sat back down to finish typing up documents, I thought back to what has happened the last week. I never thought the decision I made would impact so many people, let alone possibly ruin the chance of things being the same. I was beginning to really regret it.
---
Later that night, I was sitting at the dining table eating some tv dinner when Riku came in and tossed the mail in front of me. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed something to drink before joining me. I shuffled through the mail when I found an envelope addressed to Kairi from Speak Publishing Company. I picked it up and stared at it. Slowly, I began to rip it open to see what was inside.
"You know, it is illegal to open other people's mail." Riku said as he took a drink from his water bottle.
"Yeah, I know." I said as I slipped out a letter. I began to read it out loud. "Miss Kairi Hikari, Congratulations. We are pleased to inform you that you have been one of the selected contestants in the Speak Publishing Short Story contest. You are now in the top 100 selected. The next date for turn in will be November 15, 2009. Please note the following story ideas you may write about."
"Wow, that's great. Kairi was really hoping she'd get it." Riku said. "Did you read the story she sent out?"
"No, but I had told her I would." I replied feeling awful while folding the letter back up and placing it in the envelope. "I didn't even know she sent it out."
"It was unbelievable work. She's really talented."
"What was the story about?"
"It was a fairytale like story about a princess who was dying to be saved by anyone from the life she was living. It turned out that the prince who was coming to save her was an old friend from her childhood. They got separated when her family moved but he came looking for her when they got older. He eventually rescued her and the typical they lived happily ever after. It really reminded me of you two."
"You should have been at work today." I said feeling worse knowing that she based a fairytale story on us. I began to explain what happened with Shawn and Christy suddenly reappearing in our lives.
"You just aren't having any luck." Riku leaned back.
"I feel different, like a whole different person." I covered my face with my hands.
"How do you think Kairi feels?" His voice became serious. "She feels lost and hurt. The one person who promised to always be there for her, to love her forever, support her, lend her a helping hand when she needed it, went and broke her heart. She loves you Sora, more than I think you realize it to be honest. I think you took her for granted this time. Yes, we all know you still love her, but that isn't always enough sometimes. You need to prove to her just how much you love her, and by doing that, means you shouldn't have let her fall. I guarantee that she cries herself to sleep every night wondering if things are ever going to be okay. You say it's just a break but you already broke a big promise of never hurting her. It's going to be hard for her to trust again. Kairi probably feels lost more than ever. You two were just talking about your future together a few months ago and now you're wanting to be away from her, what is she supposed to do or feel now?"
"Man, Riku," I said looking down as I pushed my plate away suddenly losing my appetite. "Did you really have to go there?"
"Let's just say, I know how Kairi feels. I know what it's like to lose everything I thought would always be there."
Riku and I sat in silence for a while. I began to think about what he said. Amanda and I are in the same boat and I never really realized it. Kairi and Riku are also in a different boat as well. His words really hurt, a lot. I knew I had to make things better. I was just hoping it would all work for the good of everything.
A/N: Okay, so you all know the whole little break is based on my life, but just so it's clear, it never got that extreme with the exes and stuff. I had to add my own touch since it is a fictional story for more than real life (even though things seem to flow to real life after its written.) I finally updated in less than a month! Be proud of me! -smiles- Anywho, hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you to all of you who reviewed last time!