So here is a lovely shiny new chapter of unexpected hot off the press (well the proof reading press that is :D ) I'm a bit paranoid that the story is moving to slowly or it's getting boring but I really want to develop and build the current situations and emotions...plus I want a strong relationship built between Riza and Maes before Roy comes back...hope you understand and think i'm doing it OK. Roy makes another appearance here :D but not with Riza D:
A HUGE thank you to all reviewers: Mehb, Lilaznbabe, Murasaki-sama, little miss clueless, arcissica, RGaijin, Sapphire addict, Cashmerita, Resha Tsubaki and BlackBrightField2007! I can't stress enough how much a review means to an author! (good or helpfully critical :D )
Disclaimer: Still don't own FMA...
Riza was back at work before she knew it. Colonel Reynolds was very understanding when she had to run off at the end of the day to collect Maes. At lunch times she went down to the crèche to visit him and to feed him. She wanted to breastfeed him as she felt it was better than the powder stuff many people now used. Plus, it meant she lost her baby weight a lot quicker. She went through all the ups and downs of any new mother, she panicked when he coughed for the first time, or when he wouldn't latch onto her breast. The first time she heard him sneeze she rang the doctor straight away.
She liked to sit in the chair in the nursery and just rock with him in her arms. She would gaze down at his little sleeping form, one of his hands tightly grasping her finger. A full head of hair was beginning to form, not surprisingly it was jet black and straight. His eyes were a rich mahogany, darker than hers but not as dark as Roy's had been. She found that in these moment's her mind would drift back to Roy. What he was doing and if he was happy. She got washes of guilt from the things Havoc had said. Should she have told Roy? Would it really have made any difference?
Her eyes glanced up when she felt Maes wriggle, his arms were waving around and he had a searching look in his eyes, "What do you want?" she asked softly. She'd already fed and changed him. He then he quirked his lips at her and she almost started crying when he gurgled. The little tyke had Mustang's smirk alright, whatever would she do when he got older?
His little fingers twisted in her hair and he still reached for something. She searched around the room, possibly thinking about what he could want. Then her eyes settled on the bunny with the blue ribbon. "You want your rabbit don't you?" She stood up and wandered over to the changing mat where it was lying. She picked it up and waved it in front of him and he gave her another smirk.
She sighed and walked over to his cradle and set him down gently placing the rabbit next to him and then tucking all the covers and blankets in tightly around him. "Hush, hush little baby don't you cry," she murmured to him quietly, "Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird, and if that mocking bird don't sing," she paused and kissed his forehead as he closed his eyes and she turned on his little night light, "Momma's gonna threaten it with her assault rifle."
Riza grinned to herself and watched her son for a few more moments, her eyes trailing up to the rabbit. She sighed and then left the room. Shutting the door very softly behind her. She turned and walked down the stairs to the hall. Black Hayate sat obediently at the final step, his tail beginning to quiver with excitement as her foot hit the ground floor.
"Hey there," he scratched behind his ear, "I'm sorry you haven't had a lot of attention recently." He just tilted his head silently to give her better access to his ear. She smiled and straightened, walking into the living room, Hayate loyally at her heels. She sat down on the sofa and let Hayate leap up onto the seat beside her and rest his head in her lap. She continued stroking his head and scratching behind his ear as she glanced around the ground floor of her home.
It had changed significantly since Maes had come home from the hospital. The usually regimented throws and cushions that adorned her living room perfectly where now haphazardly strewn across various chairs and the sofa. Baby equipment, such as toys, books, nappies, powders and bottles, were placed on almost every surface in the room and there were various piles of work items that she'd lugged through the door and then deposited in a rush to feed, change or cuddle Maes.
Hayate had remained the loyal and trustworthy companion she'd always known. He was patient with the baby, never barking to loudly or chewing the various items around the floor. She grinned as she scratched his head, she was immensely grateful for his companionship. It would be so lonely with just her and the baby in this big new house.
As she let her eyes fall shut she heard a bang at the door. She sat up, instantly alert. Sniper training kicked into action, Hayate lept off her knee and trotted calmly to the door, glancing back at her to ask her what the problem was. He must have known it was someone he knew. She stood up shakily, tired from the day's strains, and put an eye to the peep hole. She gasped slightly and fetched the keys from the kitchen , then started undoing the lock. Once it was free she pulled the stiff door in to reveal Havoc and his lightly smoking cigarette leaning against the frame.
He looked at her appearance, "I didn't wake you did I?" he asked with concern lacing his voice.
She shook her head, "I just put Maes to bed and was going to just going to enjoy some of my book before bed," there was an awkward pause, "Do you want to come in?" He nodded again.
She stepped aside and he let himself into the living room sitting down on the couch but then springing up again and pacing. Hayate watched him curiously and then trotted out to the utility room to curl up in his basket. She was unnerved by his lack of...well relax. He was normally so easy going and so light hearted. He took the cigarette from his mouth and threw it into her fireplace, "I saw you at work the other day," he started.
Riza nodded, "I'm only part time at the moment. With Maes still being so young."
"Yeah, he's only...is it a month?"
"Two months," Riza corrected, "I wanted to get back to work but he's still so small and he needs a lot of attention. Plus I can't work full days if I'm only getting four hour nights." Another awkward silence descended between them. Riza shifted her standing position and Havoc continued to pace.
"He loves that rabbit you gave him...won't sleep without it."
Havoc gave her a small smile and then it faltered, "Look Riza..." He trailed off.
"Shall I put the kettle on?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'd like a cup."
She smiled at him and walked into the kitchen. She placed her kettle on the stove with a small klink and turned the gas on. It hissed and spluttered to life and began heating the water. Havoc sat at the kitchen table silently as she pulled down two mugs and plopped a tea bag in each, "Milk? Sugar?"
"No, just black thanks." She nodded and let the kettle come to the boil. When it whistled she pulled it from the stove and poured the boiling water into the mugs, then settled it back on the stove and turned the gas off. She sat down placing the mugs on the table in front of each of them. There was an ensuing silence between them.
"I'm sorry," they both suddenly blurted and then looked at each other. Riza looked down at her mug.
"You're right, I probably should have told Mustang," she whispered.
"Riza," he started, looking at her across the table, "what I said in the hospital was out of line. It's your decision whether or not you tell him. And I respect whatever decision you have made or may make."
She glanced up at him and smiled, "Thank you, Jean. I'm just not sure I want him to know. I'm not sure if it's to late. He's already missed the birth and everything."
"You say that like Maes has already grown up. So Mustang missed the birth, he still has the rest of Maes' life?"
Riza nodded and stared into her cooling tea. "I'm sorry, Jean, I don't think I'm ready for him to know, and I know that's probably a really selfish thing to think about because he is Maes' father and he deserves a father but..." she trailed off unable to comprehend what she was trying to say.
Havoc reached across the table and touched her hand reassuringly, "Riza, I understand your position, and I'm here for support."
Riza smiled at him, her eyes full of relief, "That means so much Jean." They sat talking for a few hours, just catching up on the last few weeks. Maes woke up and Riza fed him and changed him before he fell back to sleep again. It was very late before Jean got up and walked to her front door.
"Thanks for the tea."
"No problem, feel free to come over whenever you want, Jean."
He smiled at her warmly and nodded "I'll bear that in mind." He paused before continuing out the door, "there is something I need to tell you." She watched him, waiting for him to explain. He turned in the hallway and looked right at her. "Next week, I'm going north...to visit the chief."
He saw her visibly tense but she kept her eyes locked on his, "Is there any message you would like me to pass on?"
She was silent for awhile, a mental debate raging inside her. Did she send a letter with Jean explaining everything? Did she send a letter at all? "umm...just...just tell him I hope he is doing well."
Havoc couldn't keep the slightly disappointment that crept across his face, "OK, then that's what I will tell him."
"Thank you and good night."
"Good night, Riza."
Havoc pulled his coat closer around him. He hated the cold and the wind and the snow and...well everything about the north. Breda and him had left the inn about an hour ago and they were still trudging through an endless ice kingdom. Suddenly a grim shape loomed in the distance. It was tall and oblong so Havoc knew it had to be a house...a small one, "I think that's the outpost!" he screamed over the wind.
Breda squinted and then nodded, motioning his hand for them to move towards it. Havoc pulled his boots through the snow as if it were treacle until they finally reached the building. It was old and worn but solid. A single light glimmered through the misted window indicating there were occupants. Havoc sucked in a chest full of icy air and screamed over the gusts, "General? General Mustang?...Where are you? It's us!"
As he finished screaming the name there was a dull thump behind them and they both turned and narrowed their eyes against the wind. "Lieutenant Havoc, Lieutenant Breda, It's good to see you again. Thanks for coming out," came the familiar authoritative voice of their superior.
He was saluting to them and saw wearing the military issue snow gear. Havoc could tell just from his face that he wasn't the man who led them against the fuhrer just under a year ago. He was broken and defeated, clutching the pole next to him and easing through the blizzard to the ominous wooden door to the cabin.
They followed him in, easing heavy sighs of relief to be out of the knifing wind and in the warmth. The fire roared to life as Roy massaged it with a poker, spraying the room with more warmth from it's passionate kisses. Roy removed his coat and hung it on peg, moving back towards the boxes by the fire as the men sat down. His demeanour was downcast and he seemed to slump as they sat down.
It was silent for awhile, neither party knowing what to say. "Nice place, General" Breda grumbled glancing around the cabin. There was a low bed, covers and blankets sprawled over the mattress, up against the far wall, a small kitchenette in the corner with a few pots and pans waiting to be cleaned. The desk was neat, but then again he couldn't imagine the General got much paperwork up this way.
Roy moved and probed the fire again with a the metal rod beside the mantel, "You can drop the General. I'm just an enlisted man now."
They both looked at him and Havoc couldn't help himself, "Yeah that's right! Guess that means we out rank you know," he said jokily. It was an effort to cheer the man up but when Breda elbowed him he realised he'd missed the target.
Silence followed again for a few moments and Breda stared into his mug of congealing coffee, "Um...sir?" Roy's head bobbed up to look at the man, "I know it was your choice to take an out post way out in the sticks but still-"
He was cut off when Roy interjected, "I plan to do all I can for my country in my own way, end of discussion." He looked down determined to answer no more questions about his current situation. Havoc and Breda looked at him. Havoc's line went straight. He wanted to tell him so bad about Maes. The baby was a lovely little boy and he deserved his father.
Havoc closed his eyes, reaching for a cigarette – something to plug his mouth with to stop him from blurting about Riza. Roy moved forward in his seat and produced a match box, he preceded to strike the match, failing to light it.
Havoc's eyes went wide at the scene. Roy Mustang – the flame alchemist Roy Mustang – was trying to light a match – manually. "Matches?" he finally pushed out his mouth. Breda sat there looking equally stunned.
"I haven't used alchemy once since that day," Roy sat back staring at the ground, "gave that up to."
"But you're the flame alchemist, sir," Breda blurted as if reminding him to pick up the dry cleaning.
Roy persisted to stare at the ground, an even worse and sinking feeling filling his eyes, "I've tried a couple of times but every time I go to click I see all the faces of the people who have died because of my mistakes, "he reached a hand up and tapped his eye patch, "that's what this eye sees."
The men sat in silence for a little longer. Breda was not sure what to say and Havoc did not trust himself to open his mouth and not mention Maes or Riza. He'd promise he wouldn't say anything, maybe not outloud ut that look she'd given him before he'd left. He swallowed and looked back up at Mustang, "So I have a new girlfriend."
Roy smiled a little and then the conversation descended into idle mentionings of those left in Central. Roy was curious to know what was going on and what had happened to people, though he didn't ask about Riza, he didn't feel like he had a right to. Breda stuck in a couple of times, updating the man on what the council had done since they had come to power.
Eventually, the hot drinks were finished and Breda and Havoc began to pull their coats back on.
Roy walked over to the sink and deposited them on the side, ready for washing. He glanced back at the men, sad that in the next few moment's he'd be alone again. But this is what he'd chosen, so he wouldn't complain now. If only I could tell Riza...
He was snapped from his thoughts by Havoc, "Be seeing ya, chief"
Roy nodded and walked them to the door, slowly dragging the heavy iron bolt across to unlock it. Havoc and Breda stepped out into the howling wind without another word. They made it as far as the path on the far side of the hut before Breda looked at Havoc, "Maybe Lieutenant Hawkeye should have come to see him, she always knows how to talk to him."
Havoc chuckled slightly, "Don't kid yourself, she wouldn't come. I doubt she would want to see Mustang like that," he sighed, a hint of anger pervading his tone, "besides, I get the feeling it isn't the Lieutenant he's waiting for." Havoc turned and began to march through the snow, ignoring the whipping at his face.
Breda caught up with him, "What's up? You sound angry."
"I just don't get it," Havoc stated simply.
"Get what?"
Havoc paused and took a deep breath, "HIM!" He suddenly burst, "Yeah the guy has done some bad things but he got rid of the Fuhrer and he looked after his men whilst in Central. He's sat up torturing himself in this fucking ice box, cowering from society when Hawkeye is walking around Central with her chin up and single handedly raising an illegitimate son who is the result of fraternization!" Havoc then took a deep breath realizing he'd been on a rant. Breda watched him slightly concerned before they both headed back down to the inn without another word.
Riza was sat on Gracia's sofa sipping a steaming cup of tea. She let a satisfied grin pour over her face as the warm liquid descended her throat. "Mmmm...Gracia, that's just what I needed..." Gracia smiled holding her own cup of tea and keeping an eye on Elysia as she played with Maes on his mat. Riza sank back into the couch almost getting comfy before Maes began to cry.
Riza let out a frustrated sigh, putting the tea on the coffee table and gathering him up in her arms, "What's wrong little guy? I bet you want your nappy changing, huh?" she cooed and brought him over to the sofa. Elysia followed and wriggled up onto the sofa next to Aunty Riza so she could still watch the baby. She had been watching him with a rather confused expression on her face.
Gracia watched her daughter with an affectionate smile, "What are you thinking about, sweetheart?" She asked her daughter.
Elysia looked at her mum and then back at the baby, then up at Riza before finally looking at her mother before opening her mouth, "The baby has the same name as Daddy." It was a statement not a question and she looked very confused.
Gracia sighed, "Yes, that's because Riza decided that Maes would be a good name for the baby and because she wanted to honour Daddy's memory...do you understand?"
Elysia contemplated this for a moment before looking curiously at Riza, "Aunty Riza?"
"Yes Elysia?" Riza said looking up from cradling Maes who had now fallen asleep in her arms.
"Where did you get the baby?" Both women stopped and looked at Elysia then each other. Neither to sure how to reply.
"Well," Gracia started taking a deep breath, "when a Mummy and Daddy really love each other they have a very special kiss and a cuddle where Daddy plants a seed in Mummy, that flowers into a baby...like you." Riza watched Gracia explain, trying to hold back a giggle at the 'kiss and cuddle' comment. She smiled down at Maes, her little 'flower'.
"And then Daddy leaves?" Elysia concluded. This caught them both by shock and they stared at Elysia gob smacked.
"What makes you say that Elysia, honey?" questioned Riza, a concerned expression her face, "you know Daddy didn't want to leave you right?" Gracia had fallen silent, trying to keep the sadness from her eyes. It was obvious that the idea's Elysia was getting from her father's absent were worrying her mother.
"I know," said Elysia with a small frown, "but Daddy's have to leave."
"No they don't Elysia," Riza said, she wasn't sure what more to say, she didn't want to make it apparent that, in fact, most Daddies stayed with their families and she was the odd one out. Talk about pouring salt into a wound.
"Then where is Maes' Daddy?" Elysia's frown deepened.
Riza sat quietly staring right at Elysia with wide eyes. She could see how the child had come to the conclusion that Daddies didn't stay with Mummies, Maes was also fatherless. "Well," she started to try and explain, "Maes' Daddy had to go away on a long trip, he decided to leave. You're Daddy got taken away. There is a difference do you see? But most Daddies stay with Mummies."
Elysia scrutinised Riza, trying to comprehend what the adult had said. She turned back to her quiet mother, she then looked at the ground as if she had been scolded, "I'm sorry I spoked about Daddy, Mummy."
Gracia's eyes widened and she went over and hugged her daughter, "You can talk about Daddy as much as you want, dear. I don't mind"
"It won't make you cry?" She looked worriedly up at her mother.
Gracia smiled reassuringly, "No." Elysia nodded and hugged her mother back.
Riza smiled at them and then leaned into Elysia, "You know what I think would be really nice? If you told Maes all about Daddy and Uncle Roy? You remember Uncle Roy, right?" Elysia grinned and nodded. Riza stood up and placed Maes back on his mat, "right well I'll leave you to tell him all about it!"
The two women smiled as Elysia sat beside Maes on the mat and began to babble about her Uncle and father. Gracia sighed, "sorry about that."
Riza flapped her hand in dismisal, "Not a problem. I'm glad she likes Maes," then a wicked grin crossed her face, "Maybe this is the start of some beautiful romance?" Gracia glanced at Riza and then burst into laughter.
"You sure you're not related to Maes senior?"
"No but I think motherhood is messing with me," Riza laughed
Any comments will be greatly cherished and constructive critisism (if you have time) helps this story get even better...and reviews in general get it updated quicker...haha.