Chapter 11- Winter Break prt 2
It was a cool night out on the beach. The tide was calm and quietly washed upon the shore. The clear, star-filled sky sparkled into the ocean. The glow of the orange flames in the fire pit crackled happily as we made our smores.
"This brings back a lot of good memories." Selphie, who was wrapped in a blanket with Irvine, said with a smile.
"I miss those days." Her husband said as he spoked the fire gently.
"What do you guys miss the most?" I asked staring intently into the dancing flames. I rotated my marshmallow topped stick above it.
"Not really having to worry too much," Namine said resting her head on Roxas's shoulder. "I mean, we had to worry about Shawn and his crew ruining all we had, but that was little compared to what we're up against now-a-days."
"It really is," Cloud continued. I noticed how he was looking at Namine. "Back in high school, if a relationship failed, it was almost common sense that it would work its self out. Now, you're not quite so sure of anything anymore. Now what we have to worry about are real jobs, college, house, apartment, and car payments. The pressure of real life hits you so hard that sometimes all you want to do is to go back to being a kid so the blow doesn't hurt as bad.
"I think we take what we have for granted way too much," Cloud continued. Everyone was now looking at him and listening attentively. I felt Sora's hand on my leg give me a reassuring squeeze. "We all worry too much on what other people say or do instead of relying on our own feelings and the close people around us. The stress of what can happen at work, school, or our own selfish needs reflect way too much into our relationships with the people we care about. We don't think about how our actions can impact the others around us. Over time we grow more selfish and focus more on our own personal needs. Our mind grow older and less free spirited because we're too scared to be judged by those who don't even matter, when all who matters sits before us."
"Wow..." Tidus said. "That was deep." We all murmured in agreement. Cloud finally looked away from Namine.
"I don't know if I want to grow up anymore." Blake frowned.
"Yeah," Alexa sighed. "Graduating from high school became a little more nerve wrecking."
"It's only advice. A little bit of a warning." Sora said. "I agree with Cloud on the stress of transition from high school to the real world."
"It's true what he said. It's up to you guys to try to avoid the negative effects." Riku said putting his arm around Amanda. I looked at Cloud who seemed to be off in his own little world. The group started talking again.
"Can you make me a smore for when I get back?" I asked Sora as I handed him my stick.
"Where are you going?" Sora looked at me as I got up.
"I'm going to see what's up with Cloud." I walked over to the other side of the fire pit and grabbed Cloud by the arm. "Let's go for a walk."
The two of us walked into the woods nearby. Soon the noise from the campfire died down. Cloud and I walked in silence for a couple minutes.
"So what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Cloud finally asked.
"Are you okay?" I looked at Cloud carefully.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He replied. I stared at him doubtfully.
"Don't lie to me." I said. Cloud focused his attention on me. We finally stopped and sat on the trunk of a fallen tree. He took a deep breath in.
"Well, Aerith and me are over." He finally admitted. I was stunned by this information.
"But you two seemed to be doing just fine. What happened?" I leaned forward to get a better look at him.
"Well, remember how I was telling you about my childhood friend, Zack Fair?" Cloud asked. Zack was Cloud's best friend growing up. Right before I moved to Star City, Zack moved away. They talked every once in a blue moon but haven't seen each other since he moved.
"Yeah, I remember." I nodded.
"Well he actually attends Simplicity University."
"You didn't tell me!"
"I guess before I moved there, Aerith and Zack were seeing each other. Something happened, a fight I guess, so they broke up. I moved around that time and that's when Aerith and I got together, about a month after her break up. Recently I found out that they still had really strong feelings for each other. She said she still loved him and never wanted to hurt me." I saw him stare at the ground sadly. It completely broke my heart. "I let her go because I wanted those two to be happy, even if it meant I wasn't going to be."
"Oh, Cloud," I said wrapping my arms around him. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." He nodded. "It was the right thing to do."
"If you feel that way." I sighed as I let go. "I have a question though. Why did you look at Namine the whole time you gave your speech?"
"I guess because I realize how happy she is with Roxas and if we never broke up, she wouldn't be with him and neither of them would be as happy as they are now." Cloud sighed.
"Cloud," I whispered. "You don't need to give up your complete happiness to make everyone else happy around you."
"Yeah..." We fell into a long, deep silence. I quickly began to think of anything that could lighten up the mood because I wasn't liking what was happening.
"Hey, hey," I laughed to myself as I hit his arm gently. "Remember back in twelfth grade when we went on our camping trip and we got lost?"
"Yes." He was very monotone.
"And we got chased by that tiger!" I laughed. I wasn't sure why I was laughing though because it seriously scared the crap out of me. I suddenly stopped laughing when I realized Cloud didn't say or do anything in response. I sighed heavily. The dark night sky wasn't as clear as it was when we first entered the woods. It had to be around eleven at night now. "We should probably get back."
"Yeah." Cloud huffed. We both stood up and looked around. He sighed heavily and put his hand to his face. "Tell me you know where camp is."
"I wish I could." I said staring around at the dark trees. Talk about deja vu.
"This is great." Cloud sat back down and covered his face with both hands this time.
"Please, don't turn emo on me now." I looked down at him. "You're supposed to be the male here and lead the way."
"Kairi, just sit down." I heard him say. I glared and sat back down stubbornly.
"Why does this have to happen to us?" I stared straight ahead. "I hope they look for us."
"I'm sure they will but it's quite possible that they get lost too. We should just wait until morning." Cloud and I both looked up once we heard a loud rumble from the sky. "Great. This is just great."
"Ah, just like old times." I sighed sarcastically. The rain started to trickle down from the tree tops and onto us. Cloud and I sat in silence while the rain picked up its pace and drenched us. I laid my head down in my crossed arms and tried to keep myself warm. I suddenly felt an arm wrap around me. Cloud was looking down at me and we hugged each other for warmth. Before I even realized it, I was fast asleep.
I woke up and the light was hardly shining down on me. I glanced around to see Cloud passed out on the log next to me. The forest was just a little damp from the rain last night but thankfully not drenching. I wasn't sure what time it was but it had to be around five or six in the morning. Thankfully it was light enough to see everything. I lightly shook Cloud awake. He slowly sat to an upright position and glanced around.
"We should probably get moving." He said. I nodded and we both stood up to stretch.
"So which way?" I asked.
"I'm not sure," Cloud looked all around us. "I guess we'll go this way." Cloud and I began our journey to find camp and the others. We crossed over roots, branches, rocks, and plenty of plants. We hardly talked the whole way but I was okay with that. It seemed like hours had passed when I finally decided we needed to just sit down for a while.
"This is ridiculous." I sighed sitting down on a rock. Cloud shook his head and sat down on a bolder next to where I was sitting. "We're probably just getting further away from camp."
"This is stupid." He said with clear frustration. We just sat there not looking at each other for a good while before I noticed a little squirrel hop next to Cloud. It was obvious that he hadn't noticed it.
"Aw," I said. "It looks like Cloud made a little friend." I pointed next to him and he looked down. He smiled a little and went to touch it but it did something we weren't expecting. The squirrel hunched up its back so its fur was suddenly spiked. It showed its very sharp teeth. Cloud jumped up quickly.
"Rock!" He yelled frantically looking around. "I need a rock!"
"Don't kill it!" I said grabbing hold of his hand. The squirrel jumped forward to intimidate us and it worked. "Run!"
Cloud and I bolted through some trees. I didn't even bother to look back to see if the rabid squirrel was chasing us and neither did Cloud. We ran and continued to until we just couldn't take it anymore. We slowed down to catch our breath. Cloud looked around.
"Looks like we lost it." He said standing up straight.
"First a tiger then a stupid squirrel." I shook my head.
"Hey, look." Cloud was pointing through a few trees and I noticed a road with cars passing by. "We're near town."
"We made it all the way to town?" I was surprised considering how far the beach house was from the limits of town. Cloud and I slowly made it through the trees and stood on the side of the road.
"Well, now we know the general area of where we need to go if we just follow the road." Cloud said starting to walk. I had to run to catch up to him. "Man, I'm so hungry."
"Me too." I frowned knowing my stomach was about to growl. Suddenly there was a honk behind us and the sound of a car pulling up. We both turned around to see a black jeep with tinted windows. "Um, do you know who that is?"
"Yeah..." Cloud answered walking toward the car. The driver side opened to reveal a tall brunette. A girl that looked oddly familiar to me waved.
"Cloud!" She ran and pulled him into a hug.
"Hi Tifa." He said quietly. "What are you doing here?"
"Well," Tifa, who I remembered was an old friend of Cloud's before I came along, said. I think they even once had crushes on each other but I know Cloud got over it. "I'm actually using my vacation to travel around the island. "What about you? What are you doing out here?"
"Kairi and I got lost from the beach house." He pointed in the general direction of where we were heading. She glanced at me.
"Hi Kairi." Tifa smiled.
"Hi." I nodded with a smile.
"You know, if you'd like a ride, I can drive you back to your beach house." She offered.
"Oh thank you." I said quickly heading to her car. The other two got in the front while I climbed in the back. We were silent for a while before I saw Tifa glance at Cloud, who was staring out the side window.
"So, Cloud." She began. "How have you been holding up?"
"Fine." He replied without looking at her. I just stared at him in disbelief. The least he could have done was look at her or thanked her for her concern.
"I've been really worried about you. I know how much you cared for Aerith." Her voice was quiet and it was an obvious sign that she cared about Cloud's feelings. She still liked him, it was clear as day.
"Yeah." He answered still not looking anywhere other than the window.
"You know, we should really catch up since we're both going to SU together now. I miss hanging out with you." Tifa said.
"Yeah." I so wanted to just sit up and slap Cloud in the back of his head. Neither of them said anything the rest of the way. Fifteen minutes passed quickly which I was very thankful. Once we pulled up the driveway, Tifa turned to face Cloud.
"Don't be a stranger, okay?" She asked quietly.
"I won't." He nodded. "Thanks." Cloud hopped out of the car without any more to say. I leaned forward to get a good look at the one girl who could hopefully get Cloud of out his emo slump.
"Thank you, Tifa. We really appreciate it." I smiled.
"Of course." She nodded. I climbed out of the car and watched her start to back up. I looked up to see Cloud starting to climb the stairs to the front door.
"Cloud!" I called after him. He looked at me as I ran up after him.
"Yeah?"
"What the hell is your problem?" I asked. "It was obvious that Tifa is a great person and you pretty much deflated her bubble by being so dull to her."
"It's none of your business, Kairi." He shook his head before starting up the stairs again.
"I don't know what's gotten into you, Cloud, but you need to snap out of it." I replied following him. He opened the door to reveal the quiet house. Everyone must of still been sleeping or something.
"I'm going to bed." He said disappearing down the hall. I glanced around my quiet surroundings. I noticed the sliding glass door that led to the balcony was slightly open. I walked forward to see if someone was out there. Sora was in his pajamas leaning against the railing looking out toward the campfire from last night. I walked up quietly behind him and hugged him which caused him to jump.
"Kairi!" Sora said turning around to hug me better. "I was so worried about you."
"I'm just glad I'm back." I said into his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head and hug me tighter.
"What happened to you two?" He asked quietly. I looked through the glass doors and down the hallway where Cloud left.
"I'll explain later. Right now, I'm starving." I answered.
"Come on, let me make you something to eat." Sora took me by the hand and brought me inside.
I sat at the table while Sora made me some coffee and french toast. He sat with me while I explained what happened last night.
"It's weird how different he's become." Sora said looking down the hall.
"Yeah," I frowned sipping on some orange juice. "It's sad."
The day went by and everyone was eager to hear what happened to Cloud and me. Cloud kept his distance from the rest of the group. It was in the evening and we had just finished eating dinner. We were all in the living room and dining room. Cloud sat furthest away from everyone messing around on his phone. I stared at him and wondered what had happened.
"What's wrong Cloud?" Namine asked. I noticed she, too, was staring at him in the corner of the living room.
"Nothing." He was still monotone.
"Are you lonely?" Selphie tilted her head.
"I take that as a yes." Amanda nodded to herself.
"He needs someone to love." Josh stated. "It's obvious. We're all paired up except for Cloud."
"Huh?" Cloud looked up at Josh. "You're single too."
"Actually," Lissa said brushing her honey blonde hair back. "We're trying to work out again."
"Great." He rolled his eyes before looking back at his cell phone. I tilted my head slightly angered by this.
"What is your problem, Cloud?" I asked.
"What's the big deal about love?" He sat up and you could tell he was annoyed. "Everyone is so caught up in it. Its like the world revolves around it. Does anyone even know what love is?"
"Love isn't easily described." Namine said. "We all have our own definition of what we consider love."
"Please," He leaned forward and tilted his head. "Explain what you guys all think is love."
"Love is something indescribable. It's to the point where no matter how much they hurt you, you can't just let the person go. You love them for everything they do: their faults and imperfections are what makes them even better in your eyes. Just being near them seems to brighten everything. The number of tears you cry for them, no matter how painful, it makes you realize they must have your heart because you can't seem to cry like that for anyone else. You'd rather fight with them than kiss someone else. You can't see a future without them in it. Your heart beats calmly but furiously at the same time when you see them enter the room. You catch yourself smiling when you're talking about them or hear about them. They're constantly on your mind. You relate any love story or song to your life or imagine you two are the characters they're talking about. You plan your life with them in it. No matter what anyone else says you know you're convinced they're the one. You have a strong gut and heart feeling that they're your ultimate destiny. To me, that's only the basics of love that you can really put into words." I said.
"Wow." I heard Sora say next to me. "It's where you are happy to see them no matter the circumstance." I turned and smiled.
"You can also tell you love someone by knowing no matter what they look like, you see the beauty in them because their personality shines brighter." Roxas said kissing Namine's cheek.
"It's being able to have a strong connection with the other person. One that you can't seem to find in anyone else, not your friends or family." Riku said looking at Amanda.
"It's being able to understand each other at their worst and being able to know the right thing to do to make things seem better no matter what." Irvine said causing Selphie to lean on him with a happy smile.
"Love is being able to flow with the changes of life and except all the downfalls and still manage to pick up every broken piece with great care." Josh stated placing his hand on Lissa's hand.
"Love is giving the ability to hurt you but trusting them not to." Tidus nodded as Yuna hugged him.
"It's having the ability to forgive but not always forget so you can learn from the mistakes." Blake said to his older brother. Alexa nodded.
"And it's also being able to know that no matter what, they're always there for you." Wakka added. Lulu smiled as she placed her hand on her stomach.
Cloud stared at all of us. I felt bad because we were all paired off and quite happy with who we had but Cloud was alone and really had no one to love. He had been disappointed a few times and I figured his ability to love was starting to deteriorate. I noticed him nod and look down at the ground.
"I think I'm going to go to bed now." He said standing up. "Thanks." We all sat in silence as he walked through us and into his room.
"I should go talk to him." I said standing up.
"Good luck." They murmured as I followed Cloud. I knocked and waited a second before opening the door. I saw him laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. I slowly closed the door behind me and went to sit next to him.
"What's really bothering you? You've been acting so strange since you got here." I said quietly. He didn't answer me right away.
"I already told you." He sighed.
"What? The whole you and Aerith thing?" I asked. Cloud nodded still not looking at me. "Look, you don't have to be in love to be happy. I know everyone makes it seem like that but remember when we lived in Star City? We were both single and very happy with life. We enjoyed the simple things and that was enough."
"But I want to be in love. I hate being alone and single." He said sitting up.
"You're just not looking in the right places. You're expecting everything to come to you. You're too scared to go out and look because you're afraid you won't find what you're looking for. Cloud, you're only twenty. You're expecting way too much for being so young."
"You make it sound so easy, Kairi." Cloud shook his head. "Everyone around me is in a relationship and they all seem to be so happy and in love. I want that. I don't like being the only one single. I really don't like hearing about how happy you all are, I mean, it's nice to hear it, I'm glad you all are, but I wish I felt that way too."
"I'm sorry about that." I said putting my hand on his arm. "It's not like relationships are always perfect. You will find someone who needs you as much as you need them. It may take time and I know you won't really understand until you find them. Life isn't going to rush to make you happy, you are the one who's in control of what you want. You have to be the one to go out there and find happiness, even if it takes another couple years. You can't just expect it to all come to you right now."
"It's so easy for you to say." He said.
"Not really," I scooted closer to him and he made room for me. "It's not like I enjoy seeing you so down about all of this."
"It's not like I enjoy seeing myself this way either."
"I have faith in you. You're such an amazing person. So many people care for you. That one person who needs someone like you is waiting too. They may not be anywhere near here but she's out there. Now it's just up to you two to make your moves."
"I want what you all of you have." He said fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
"Who says you can't? You'll have it eventually."
"Maybe."
"No, no maybe. It's true." I smiled softly. "Come on Cloud. You have to cheer up. If you just sit around moping about how miserable you are, you'll never find her and she'll never find you. The world needs to see the Cloud we all know and love, that way the girl you're destined to be with can know what she's getting."
"I'll do my best. It may not be easy, but you're right." Cloud nodded. "Thank you, Kairi."
"What are best friends for?" I asked hugging him.
A/N: (Starting date: Jan. 31, End date: March 23) That was a difficult chapter to get over. I was in such a writers block it killed me. As you can see it took many months to get over it. For those of you who haven't read The Perfect Fall, my boyfriend's leave date was moved so I'm still having time to write more. Check the Dear Diary website for updates. Please and thank you for the reviews!