Fear.
It was a familiar feeling by now, one she was intimately familiar with, there was almost a comfort in the familiar tightness in her gut...a knowledge of what was to come.
I'd prefer not to feel it though. Tali lifted herself up with her two sets of three clawed toes in a little jump, well aware that her habit of doing that was just another reason for Ashley to continue calling her 'cute'. Not that the marine noticed at the time, the woman busy on her knees before the sealed door that had stopped the group.
Out in open space the group were all completely covered by their armour to protect them from the vacuum...and to Tali's eyes looked a bit like a group of oversized Quarians...with the lack of decorations on their armour it also looked like they had no sense of fashion either...
She nearly giggled at the idea.
Keelah, I'm just trying to distract myself, which is no good, focus. She looked around, noting the others tensely waiting for Ashley to blow the door open. Normally Michael would have ordered Tali or Garrus to hack the door open...but given that the Geth on Rayingri were already aware of the group and without a doubt preparing their defences within their outpost, blowing the door open made sense...even if it signified that they'd storm into a hail of bullets...
Again the fear struck her, twisting her guts around, making them feel disgustingly watery.
With them having left Citadel space they – while having gained another on the ground-team that could help them in research, Tali shot the hesitant looking Liara a glance – still didn't know exactly where to look for Saren or his allies. As such the call from the Alliance about Geth activity just outside Alliance space had been a blessing Michael had grasped at with both hands. While the Alliance technically couldn't go out to wage war outside of their space a Spectre that happened to be an Alliance officer with a clear mission to battle the Geth as the servants of an enemy of the Citadel...could.
In exchange Michael no doubt hoped for any information about Saren or his allies. Tali shot him a shy glance, finding the man pressing his back against the wall on Ashley's left, gun lowered but ready to be raised as he rushed into the room. Tali had seen it so many times she could see it just by closing her eyes now... Just like any other time she knew there would be no hesitation, no fear, it didn't matter how prepared the enemy was, how dangerous it was, Michael would take point...and lead them through it, all the time shouldering more then his part of that of a Commander. He'd make a great Quarian...
Shaking aside the vexing thought she tried to master her fear, to bring out the hatred felt for the Geth. At any other time it would have been easy, but just before a fight...it just didn't work.
Despite the hatred being in her blood.
The Geth had driven her people from their home, forced them to leave in a ramshackle fleet that only got more and more ancient as time passed on. The Quarians had lost their membership in the Citadel because of the Geth, and worse, all respect from the entire galactic community because of them. They were despised for what they had created, for the creation that had inflicted harm on none but themselves until now...and now seen as nothing but troublesome vagrants deserving their fate.
Tali's mother had died of a plague that would never have happened if they hadn't lived packed together in a rusty old ship...ships the Geth had driven them into... Her father would have been there, instead of being busy in the admiralty board, if it wasn't for the Geth... She could have gotten siblings if it wasn't for the difficulty for them to even breed...all because of the Geth.
Her family and her people were forever marked by the Geth uprising...a mark of shame and grief.
Even her suit was a constant reminder of that mark. The Geth had not only driven the Quarians from their home, not only forced them to forever live in a fleet of ageing ships... They had by their actions forced each and every Quarian into a personal prison that forever kept them separated from not only the other races, but even each other...
The Geth had, before she'd even been born...doomed her to a life separate from others by insurmountable barriers...doomed her to forever feel...alone.
She had all the reasons in the galaxy to hate them, her body was fused with that hatred since birth.
Yet now, before the door was blown, before the hail of shots from the waiting Geth...fear ruled.
The Geth were intelligent, uncaring, unfeeling, it wasn't even cruelty that drove them...only cold logic and self-preservation, a mockery of organic life. They didn't know fear, they didn't know pain, they didn't care about losses, they didn't surrender, they never even died...only sent their programming somewhere else.
Somewhere where millions of them waited...each program ready to download into a body, a ship, a machine...ready to pounce upon them, to tear them apart, to destroy the Migrant fleet and all Tali held dear...
The Geth had slaughtered the Quarians, billions of them...and here she was, a single Quarian...pistol drawn and breath short, ready to defy them once more.
She felt...small.
"Done." Ashley got up, stepped to the right, pressing herself against the wall there and revealing the green tubes strapped to the door. "Ready when you are, Commander."
Michael glanced back, cold eyes under a glittering visor ensuring everyone stood on each side of the door, in cover from any Geth fire. "On three..."
Remember your survival training, your engineer training, even your father... Tali took a deep breath. All say a problem is best solved one step at a time.
"One."
So there's millions of Geth out there, you'll kill them, one by one...starting with these ones. The knot of fear dissolved, leaving an empty void in her stomach even as she checked her pistol one last time.
"Two."
She glanced over at Liara, the Asari looking terrified as she with shaky hands looked down at her pistol as if it had suddenly become something foreign. And you'll let no one else suffer for your race's mistake... A small growl escaped her, the void in her stomach suddenly filled with a simmering anger, an anger swiftly rising...
"Three!"
The door flew inwards with the force of the blast, the heavy sheet of steel spinning through the air and knocking a large shelf a dozen feet into the large room ahead over. Tali barely saw it though as the explosion sent pieces of gravel and a blast of heat against her, making her raise her free hand to shield her visor.
Liara was shrieking.
Ahead Michael was pushing into the room, assault rifle spitting death even as a hail of shots bounced off his kinetic barrier, then armour as the shield gave up with a fizzle. Ashley was right behind him, her own rifle firing in a wide arch even as a sniper rifle took her in the chest, drawing an angry grunt out of her.
Rushing forth Tali grabbed Liara's arm, bodily pulling the Asari with her as they rushed in under the shadow of Wrex, the Krogan growling as he with a blast of his shotgun went straight forward, leaping over a crate before slamming his back against a shelf the flying door had missed. Tali swung her arm around, sending Liara tumbling into the cover of a tipped over table where Garrus had already taken up position, a feral smile on his face.
A thump...and Tali found her shield flaring, half of it disappearing as a Geth sniper's shot was stopped inches from her visor.
Abomination.
Another growl and Tali sprang forth, ducking low behind the crate Wrex had leapt over. It was frustratingly small...but crouching up Tali knew she would be hiding the majority of herself from the enemy...and it made it easy for her to glance around to see the layout of the room.
The room was filled with boxes, many a dark red in colour, others a dull grey, spread out over the rectangular room – the group having entered in the middle of a long side – it turned the room into a maze of low boxes. Or boxes that would have been higher then hip-height if the Geth hadn't tipped them over.
Why they had done so was painfully obvious. There were many Geth in the room, the main floor seemed to have a Geth trooper behind every box...each jumping up at regular intervals to fire at the group already pinned down just inside the entrance. Not only that but there was a second floor on the other end of the room, a long balcony with a low wall basically...behind which Tali could spot several Geth snipers and rocket troopers...all having a good field of fire down on the team from their high vantage point.
Then she stumbled, her shield failing with the sound of another Geth sniper hitting her, her small cover and its good position letting it strike an exposed foot.
You filthy... Tali hissed, shooting to her feet, omni-tool glowing as she pointed it towards the sniper. No... she turned the aim to the right...to the Geth next to the sniper. ...this is better...
The Geth rocket trooper's eye turned blue...and a moment later its swinging rocket launcher sent the Geth sniper falling over the wall and down onto the main floor with an electronic howl of protest...a protest cut short as it landed head first on the floor.
One of the Geth troopers on the floor took the opportunity to fire at Tali, making her wince as the shot thumped into her abdomen, only the armour of her suit stopping it from shredding the flesh beneath. Her wince turned into a chuckle though as she saw the offending Geth explode into pieces of white-hot steel as the rocket of her hacked Geth struck its back.
Another shot struck her, this time in the shoulder...and she dropped back into cover, free hand rubbing the bruise through her suit even as the other moved her pistol to fire a few covering shots towards the Geth before her.
Explosions rang out all around her, pulse rifles firing, snipers and assault rifles, pistols...Tali shook her head, realizing the last hit had dazed her more then it had any right to do.
I need shields...Sweeping her hand over her omni-tool, practised fingers easily bringing up the correct program...Tali once again rose, pointing finger finding a Geth trooper trying to flank Wrex as the Krogan with the butt of his shotgun slammed the head off another Geth.
There was an arch of energy between her finger and the trooper...and the Geth jerked as the VI's artificial voice in Tali's suit called out: "Shields recharging...at a hundred percent."
The jerking Geth turned its baleful eye on her...only for an orb of dark purple energy to appear above it, lifting it off its feet to its stuttering protest as Liara finally flexed her biotic powers.
Glare at me will you... Tali levelled her pistol...and white liquid began to gush from the Geth's abdomen as she struck a vital cord within it.
Abominations, each and single one of you. More of the Geth on the main floor were being lifted off their feet by the powerful singularity...and Tali resolutely ignored the rocket arching over her head from a hurried Geth rocket trooper as she grasped her pistol with both hands and fired away.
One, two, three, four...Geth twitched...their filthy excuse for blood dripping onto the floor from ruined torsos even as their corpses continued to hover in the air.
A fifth Geth, even while in the air, aimed for her...only for a dark blue orb to hurtle into it, sending it flying into the ceiling, the force of Kaidan's push shattering it.
There was a thump, Tali's shields halving as a sniper took her...only for its head to explode as Garrus' own sniper rifle opened up in retort. Another quickly followed, aiming down at her even as she glared back...only for its neck to explode as Michael's sniper rifle caught it.
I do not fear you! She looked up at the Geth lining the upper floor and slightly to her right, several already aiming down at the still exposed Quarian. I hate you! Her omni-tool glowed, its orange reflection dim against her visor...and the one remaining rocket trooper at the top jerked, its eyes changing colour even as it turned its weapon about, pressing the point into the gut of the sniper just inches away from it.
The Geth sniper turned its head, the beginning of an electronic stutter escaping it...
And then the explosion ended it, with the Geth so tightly packed the explosion tore through them, hacked and un-hacked Geth alike being swallowed by the explosion of the fired rocket. Pieces of limbs, weapons, the wall they had hidden behind, flying...raining over the Geth still on the main floor.
"Alright!" Ashley's shriek was nearly lost in the crashing sound of the second floor crashing down as its structural integrity gave up, the marine a blur as she rushed into the dust thrown up by the collapsing balcony, her swinging rifle crashing through the eye of a Geth still trying to righten from being struck by falling masonry...before barking death into the chest of another.
Wrex too roared something, the Krogan leaving cover, shotgun jerking in his hands, sending a stumbling Geth flying backwards, its torso opened. Another moved to fire on the already charging Krogan...only to fall as Liara's pistol took its hand off.
Michael too left cover, the man a black ghost as his blurry shape disappeared into the dust on Tali's left, only the flash of a firing muzzle and the dying stutters of felled Geth a sign of where he was.
It was all but over.
Tali stepped forth, only now realising she was breathing heavily, feeling her rage slowly go back to a low simmer...a hard core within her, ready to spring forth again. Before her a Geth came, legs gone, arms pulling it towards her, crawling away from the still roaring Krogan, leaving a trail of white blood behind, dimly glowing eye not noticing her even as it crawled towards her foot.
Her foot came up...then down...and there was a groan within the Geth as she pinned it against the floor and levelled her gun. Her voice a low snarl: "Die, monster."
A bang...and the Geth went still, pieces of its eye-lens strewn over its floor, mixing with the white blood dripping from the nearly drained machine.
Tali's shoulders dropped, tension fading away...and felt nothing but drained. Keelah...if I didn't have work to do on the Normandy I'd go sleep for a year...or crawl up into a corner... She was an engineer, not a soldier, not a warrior...and every time after a battle she felt it...felt herself ready to begin shaking with the shock, with the realisation that she'd nearly died...
No, get a hold of yourself, you're Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, daughter of admiral Rael, excellence is expected, excellence will be delivered. As such you have work to do, get to it. Mentally chiding herself she crouched down by the Geth, pushing it over onto its back. Her father wanted Geth parts, preferably things they'd developed themselves, and Tali knew the machines better then any Quarian alive...she could not fail him in supplying him with such parts for his experiments, must not.
There was a jab of annoyance when she felt a hand land on her shoulder though, distracting her from her work. "Nice going there kiddo, got a lot of spunk for such a little cutie." Ashley chuckled, making Tali look up at the woman, now with her helmet off to show off her big grin. Wish I could show my smile like that...
She felt tired, shaky, and now annoyed with the woman keeping her from her work and showing her freedom and beauty without even being aware of it...as such Tali found her tone sharp: "I'm pretty sure I killed twice as many Geth as you did here, don't call me a kid."
Ashley's eyebrows shot up high, her stance shifting, surprised...a hint of feeling hurt...quickly masked by amusement: "Oh and now she's developing a tone! I'm having a bad influence on you..." She shot Tali a wink, squeezing her shoulder.
Tali rose, taking a shaky breath, feeling her irritation being replaced by exasperation and fatigue: "Sorry I...I'm a little on edge and-"
"Tali'Zorah." She whirled about at the name, Ashley's hand losing its grip on her shoulder as she found Michael coming at her through the cloud of dust. There was a large dent in his chest-plate...but he looked unhurt – she breathed a sigh of relief – as he pulled his helmet off and put it under his arm, revealing sweaty blond hair smeared to his skull in tousles. His cold eyes regarded her, quickly checking her for injuries even as he offered her a nod deeper then the one he usually did to any in the group at the end of missions. "Well done, commendable work." Even with the usual coldness in his voice there was...real appreciation there, on missions the man was nothing but a calculator...and it was based on nothing but that with which he commended her...
Yet for all the coldness it was appreciation...real appreciation...based on nothing but her own deeds...
Tali found herself clearing her throat as she looked away, struggling with a blush as her right hand came up – a gesture she had picked up from Ashley and couldn't quite kick – to smoothen her hood out. "Erm...yes Shepard...thank you...Shepard..."
Michael's stance shifted slightly, the coldness in his eyes fading a bit as a shadow of a smile stole its way to his lips while he looked around at the others. "Good work all of you..." A shake of his head, the stance shifting as he visibly begun to relax, smile widening as he once more looked to her: "...but damn Tali...excellent work."
She suddenly found herself staring at her feet, resting on her toes in little jumps and with her arms feeling awkward behind her back, her voice tiny: "Th-thank you..."
"See?" Ashley's voice was amused, too amused. "Told you you're cute."
The others laughed, relaxed, friendly...
And Tali felt as if her blush would kill her.
8
8
8
Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her praise.