God...
Ashley stared – ashen-faced – at the mess Michael was, the medical bay of the Normandy silent save for the beeps of the machines surrounding his bed.
Stripped of his armour the man was...less. Dressed in only a pair of black slacks the man's chest was virtually covered in the transparent film of Chakwas' bandages, the medi-gel within filling them to the point of bursting...and more was constantly being pumped in from three black tubes that snaked up to a machine riveted to the wall above the head of Michael's bed as his body absorbed the liquid.
Next to it another machine, a thin and tall on six wheels, stood, a transparent tube from its top pumping blood down to the where it ended in his right arm.
And that wasn't the end of it. At the foot of his bed a large squarish machine atop four wheeled legs stood, a full dozen vials of different colours at the top of it, most half-full by now...and an equal number of tubes sneaking out from its body, snaking over Michael's chest...as they pumped whatever that stuff was into Michael's bullish neck..
He's so pale...
The panic had settled now. Just an hour ago when Tali, covered in red and orange gore, had supported a near unconscious Michael aboard the Normandy...the entire ship had buzzed with fright, the ground team in particular practically clutching at him as they dragged him to the medical bay...
But now it was replaced by grief and a deeply sated worry, even in her own world of despair Ashley could sense the multitude of the crew hovering near the entrance to the medical bay, too afraid of Chakwas rage to enter, yet too worried to leave.
Only Ashley had been allowed to stay – Chakwas having given her one glance before gesturing for the chair on Michael's left – as well as Tali for some reason. Guess she should be since she saved him... Guilt and gratitude bore into Ashley's heart, making her clutch at her chest where she sat on the small stool next to Michael's bed.
I'm sorry...I keep...failing you...
Before her Michael said nothing, his face eerily calm as he lay there, a pale ghost of the man he usually was.
His tale had changed nothing, he had still saved her, still fought Saren, he was still...Michael Shepard...and Ashley felt her heart squirm within her chest at the fearful thought of him dying.
With his bandages and the medi-gel being transparent she could see his injuries. The hole in his chest was a deep crater lined with broken ribs and red gore whose edges now showed a hint of skin returning...and made Ashley cringe every time her blurry vision focused on it. His left shoulder looked no better, white bone of the socket visible as strings of cartilage struggled to hold on...
And while the wounds just above his waist were smaller...the great amount of blood flowing from then – only recently stopped – had shown all too well the damage they had done to the organs below...
Ashley was a marine, and she realised that Michael would probably be okay, she had seen injuries like those before...and if death hadn't occurred instantly treatment would probably restore all.
Yet...she squirmed where she sat, dark thoughts making her heart flutter.
"He'll be okay..." She whispered the words, as much to herself as it was a plea to him.
"No thanks to you."
Silence.
Then shock, Ashley's stunned mind unable to comprehend the angry warble as she looked up from Michael's ruined body.
Tali was sitting on the other side of the bed, left arm protectively across Michael's chest, her right holding Michael's hand tight...and her silver eyes narrowed at Ashley in accusation.
"Wh-what did you say?" Ashley blinked, staring at the Quarian.
"You heard me."
"B-but..." Ashley cringed, a small gasp escaping her as guilt jabbed at her heart. "...he o-ordered us to...to..."
"You don't leave shipmates alone in that state, you don't." Tali snarled, the anger in her tone turning Ashley white with shame.
She looked away, head dropping. "No...you don't...I...no...I was just so shocked...thought you were too...thank you..." Ashley grimaced at her own words, shamed. No, Tali is right, thank her properly. She looked up at the Quarian: "...thank you for saving him, if you hadn't gone after him...he would have..."
Wait...
Ashley's words died in her mouth...as she saw.
Tali's left arm over Michael's chest, protecting.
Her right hand in his, holding on tight.
Ashley's jaw dropped. "N-no...th-that can't be...it's...n-not..." I...no...she wouldn't...
Silence, Tali glaring at her over the stricken body of Michael.
And Ashley felt her face flush as the revelation shook through her. "You're...I can't believe...you..."
Tali blinked, looked down...and then away as she with a flinch pulled her hands away from Michael, snorting in disgust: "It's nothing to worry about any more, not after what he told us."
"Not after..." Ashley swayed...and she realised she was standing, mouth moving as she struggled with words: "...you've been..." Betrayal. "...nothing to worry about! You've been lying to me!"
Tali crossed her arms over her chest, still looking away, her warble tinged with anger: "Didn't say anything, it's not important, never been, and now it doesn't exist."
"Not important!" Ashley felt her face heat with anger as she leant over Michael's bed, her fingers digging into the mattress as her eyes blazed with rage: "You've listened to me! I confided in you! You knew! And all the while you were...you bitch!"
"I didn't want to tell you!" Tali looked up as she snarled, then back down again as she shook her head: "It wasn't...important."
"So instead you kept quiet!" Ashley roared, shaking with the betrayal singeing her insides. "Instead you listened and plotted and pretended to be his and my friend while you made your own plans!"
"It wasn't like that!" Tali still refused to look at her, enraging Ashley further with her pathetic protests. "I just..." A shrug.
"It wasn't! Well how was it then!" Ashley spat the words, her whole body shaking. "When I confided in you what did you think! When I felt so hurt about him avoiding me how did you..." No! She gasped. "...you whore! Bet you wanted nothing but for me to get together with Kaidan! And you agreed to watch over him for me since I couldn't! But all the while...how could you!" She gasped again, hand moving to her heart as something within it...broke.
I thought of you as a sister...
A whimper. "No..." Tali's head bowed even further, the Quarian's shoulders slumping as her hands moved down to her lap as she shifted where she sat. "...I wasn't planning any...I didn't mean to..."
"What! What didn't you plan! What didn't you mean!" Ashley gasped the words, her lungs failing her as she struggled with a rage and pain that squeezed her chest into a ball of darkness within her. Another gasp: "To hurt me! To betray me! To trick me! To steal him!"
A soft little sob, a whimper, the Quarian's head bowed low: "To...ruin it..."
Ashley felt a sting of sympathy, then the rage welled over it, the fire of it turning into freezing block of ice, a painful weight in her chest filled with bitterness and betrayal.
She sat back down with a thump, eyes narrowed at Tali.
Her voice was dry and cold, her mind clamping down on all emotions: "Well...you did."
The Quarian's head tilted up a fraction of an inch, voice a soft sob: "P-please..."
And Ashley glared back: "Go to hell."
Silence.
A deep, cruel silence, only interrupted by the faintest of sniffles coming from Tali's helmet.
Ashley's heart was cold, her gut cold...as her veins burnt with the betrayal of her friend.
My friend... Ashley glared at the Quairan. You treacherous little suit-covered bitch...
A thump...and the door opened to reveal Liara and Chakwas as the two women entered with furrowed brows.
"Liara..." Ashley's anger was instantly pushed into the back of her head as she looked down in shock at Michael as the man's eyes opened a fraction of an inch...the eyes distant and confused...yet sensing the Asari.
At the moment Ashley couldn't care less about the disgusting implication of what the melding might have done, all she could do was to feel her shoulders slump as she gasped out in relief, afraid to say anything to disturb the man's awareness.
"Shepard..." The Asari came closer, glancing at Ashley and Tali with confused eyes for a moment...before focusing back on the man: "...I know you're injured but...I also know you'd want to hear this..."
The smallest of movements, the man's hand lifting half an inch from the bed...
And Liara nodded with a small smile. "Yes, well I've been doing research, seeking information...it's amazing how close it is to archaeology...you just have to find the latest fact and work..."
Michael's lips curled into the smallest of smiles...and Ashley smiled widely. He's going to be okay...
"...oh right, apologies." Liara's cheeks turned a little purple, as she cleared her throat. "I was going to say I found where my mother is...Benezia is at Noveria...doing research for Saren..."
Silence.
Then a minuscule cough of Michael's, his voice a hoarse sliver of its usual strength: "Tell Joker...course for Noveria..."
The Asari nodded slowly with a weak smile, but still tilted her head to the side: "But the council said..."
"I take your directions over theirs..." A long pause...the man's eyes dull as his neck twitched. "...any day..."
"Thank you...Shepard." A hesitant little nod from Liara...and the Asari silently walked away, head bowed in thoughtfulness.
"Good, now onto more important things." Chakwas grumbled, the doctor's eyes narrowed in sternness as she walked up to the foot of the bed, gaze darting down to the many vials by the machine there before looking back at Michael, hands coming down on the edge of the bed as she leant forward to focus on him with narrowed eyes. "You are very lucky to be alive."
"I...know." Michael whispered, head turning a little to smile at Tali...who with a sniffled snort looked away...making the man look away with a hint of regret in his eyes.
Good.
Ashley glared at Tali, daring the woman to look at Michael, to forgive him, to anything.
Nothing came though, the Quarian looking down at her lap, her entire being projecting defeat.
Good!
"The wounds are not what I'm talking about." Chakwas growled, the doctor shaking her head. "Yes they were severe, yes it's amazing that you didn't die of either shock or blood-lust, yes your force of will is impressive...but that is all nothing compared to what my readings found."
A jolt of worried energy in Michael's eyes, instantly gone as his body slumped in his bed.
Ashley looked to Chakwas, fresh worry digging into her. "What do you mean doctor?"
"I mean that I've never seen a case of a more severely drugged person then Michael here." Chakwas growled.
Silence.
Ashley felt all colour drain from her face as she with big eyes looked to Michael, barely aware of Tali doing the same as the man closed his eyes, a lips curling into a grimace of regret.
God...not that too...
"You have enough stuff in your system to kill a horse, Michael..." Chakwas shook her head, sighed. "I'm amazed you've been able to walk around with all of that..."
"It..." Michael's whisper broke a little. "...kept me up...working well...need it...efficient..."
"It will also burn you out in a couple of years and most likely turn you into a broken wreck of a man..." Chakwas crossed her arms over her chest, glaring down at Michael...only for her features to soften. "...which you knew."
Ashley couldn't help it, her voice croaking the question: "Why Michael?"
His gaze was distant, looking up at the ceiling, not seeing her as he whispered: "Need to be efficient...perfect...must know all...be prepared for all...can't...fail..."
Heroic fool...
Ashley bowed her head with a shake, heart swelling with sympathy as much as admiration...and mixing with the feelings of Tali's treachery until she felt her head spin with emotions.
It's just too much...
Chakwas voice was hard and stern however, a rock in the sea of emotions tossing Ashley's soul about: "Well I don't care what it does, it ends here."
"You...can't..." Michael's protest was nothing but a whimper.
A snort from the doctor: "You are stuck here until you've healed Commander...and I'm going to use that time to clean your system, whether you like it or not you will be clean when I'm done with you."
Ashley blinked, feeling her eyelids remove tears she hadn't known about as she looked up at Chakwas: "Thank you, doctor..."
"It's what I'm here for." The elderly woman smiled motherly at her...then gave Michael another stern look that almost drew a relieved chuckle out of Ashley.
He's going to be okay...
On the other side Tali looked up, about to say something...only to shirk away as Ashley shot her a glare.
And you...I'll be keeping my eye on you...
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Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her continued support.