OH. MY. GOD. FINALLY. Just… OH MY GOD. I am so extremely happy, honestly, Thursday's episode just made my week. So, I changed this chapter a little bit to try to stay as close to canon as possible. Here you go.
"Jackson," April whispered while gazing at the road in front of them. Every minute, every second Jackson's car was getting closer to Seattle Grace Mercy West, and the realization of that made April want to just jump out of Jackson's SUV, right there and then, right in the middle of the highway. Jackson noticed April's pale complexion and the trembling hands that rested on her knees. Jackson grabbed April's left hand. It was extremely cold, he noticed, and he squeezed it lightly. He wanted to grab her face and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but he needed to keep his eyes fixed on the busy road before them.
"Can't we…" she continued, but her voice faltered as April realized that what she was about to say was completely ridiculous.
"What?" Jackson asked, tearing his gaze off of the road for a second just to look at the girl that was seated in his passenger seat. Suddenly, she seemed not as panicky anymore. Rather, her big eyes radiated relief, as she looked him shortly in the eye before Jackson had to focus on the road again.
"What?" Jackson asked again, curiosity now dripping from his voice.
"We could… I think we need a little more time Jackson," April stated vaguely.
"For what?" Jackson asked, not understanding where this was going.
"We need more time to be with each other without facing everyone that will hate us for being together," April explained. Jackson processed her words, but he still not quite understood what April exactly wanted to say.
"You mean… take a day off?" he questioned.
"No! I mean… what if we keep this a secret for just a little longer? We go to work, pretend that we're not together, just for a while until… until I think I am strong enough to deal with everything," April clarified. Of course she understood that this was no solution to the problem, but she needed more time to figure out how she would handle the repercussions of her leaving her fiancé at the altar in front of her colleagues, her friends, her family… "It will be good for us, Jackson," she added softly while placing her hand on top of his on the gear stick.
"Okay…" he agreed weakly. April heard the hesitation in his voice and sighed.
"This is not because I am not sure of my love for you Jackson, because I am. I am extremely sure of that. This is because I am not sure if I can handle the mess at work if we would out to our colleagues that we're together now. I mean, it will only make things more complicated for Matthew and Stephanie. It would be easier if we would just… not rub it in their faces, you know?" April's voice was hopeful, almost desperate, for Jackson to agree with her. It did make sense, to take it one step at a time. But Jackson just did not want to hide is love for April any longer. He had to do that for the last two years and now he just wanted to show everyone that he did love the neurotic redhead from the bottom of his heart… It just didn't feel right, but Jackson did understand that hiding their love for a little longer would be the best. Especially for her.
"You're right, we should keep it a secret for a little while longer," he finally agreed, watching April smile from his peripheral vision. He felt her lips on his cheek not much later, and all his doubts about this plan just faded away. She was the most important person in his life, and he wanted her to deal with this in a way that would not let her fall apart. If hiding their love was the solution – perhaps temporarily – then Jackson just had to go with it.
"Okay, so we should just pretend that we are awkwardly avoiding each other to make it credible," April said, only afterward realizing that this was not going to be as easy as it sounded.
"I think we'll get our fair share of awkwardness today, don't worry about that," Jackson said painfully. April chuckled in response.
"Yeah, this might be the most awkward day ever." She heard Jackson sigh deeply in response as his car suddenly halted.
"We're there," he stated.
"Ah, look who's here. The wedding wrecker! You came!" Christina greeted Jackson gleefully as she bumped her elbow to his side. Jackson just rolled his eyes in response as he went through some of the patient files for post-op checkups while standing at the pit. He was in the hospital for no longer than ten minutes, and he already wanted this day to be over with as soon as possible.
"Jackson, you're here," Meredith stated disbelievingly as she went to stand beside Christina. Her voice however, was not as gleeful as her best friend's was, rather Meredith sounded pitiful.
"Yes, I am here. How is that surprising? I have got patients that are my responsibility, of course I am here," Jackson slammed one of his patient's file against the counter as frustration took over.
"Take it easy, big boy," Christina said as she took a few steps away from the plastic surgeon. Meredith just laid a hand on top of Jackson's shoulder comfortingly.
"I think you are an ass for what you did, but I also think it was very brave. And coming here today was very brave as well. You know what happened after you left, right?" Meredith questioned, her voice in a whisper as she asked him that question.
"Yeah, I know," Jackson answered, his eyes fixed on the floor. He was already stuck on what to say next. But he had no choice than to lie. "But I haven't seen her since… since then," he continued, trying his hardest for those words to come across credulously. Meredith again looked at him with a pitiful expression in her eyes.
"She will come around," Meredith assured him before leaving the pit with Christina by her side. Jackson watched the two leave before taking a deep breath and refocusing on his work.
Everywhere April went, she heard people starting to whisper and stare at her indiscreetly. She knew this was going to happen, still it felt terrible. So far, she hadn't seen Matthew nor Stephanie, so she comforted herself with the idea that things could've been worse. However, passing by Jackson was a reoccurring happening today and she felt as if she was being punished by karma for her own stupid idea to keep them a secret – which seemed the best idea earlier when she fabricated it on her way to the hospital. April was a very bad actor and an even worse liar, and she was surprised about how everyone has been buying their act so far. Jackson just kept his gaze off of her whenever they would walk past each other. April was impressed about his acting skills. April decided to hide in one of the laboratories after she was done with her rounds of post-op check-ups. She was praying to God for any trauma to come in so that she could hide in the OR instead.
"April!" she heard a familiar voice exclaim.
"Hi, Arizona!" April greeted back. She had a lot to explain to the ped-surgeon that was, next to Jackson, the best friend she had in this hospital. Also, she probably had a lot to thank the blonde for as well, considering that she had to deal with the mess in the barn after April had left. Arizona took a seat next to her, her eyes almost not believing that the redhead was actually here.
"I expected you to… take a day off," Arizona began, still looking at April as if she was a fragile house of cards that could fall apart any moment.
"No, I just wanted to… I just needed to go to work," April explained.
"There's a lot of practical stuff that we need to talk about, but first: how are you feeling?"
"As if I am the gossip of the day," April tried to joke.
"Well, you kind of are," Arizona confirmed with a light chuckle.
"Hey, aren't you supposed to make me feel better?" April asked, bumping Arizona in the shoulder playfully.
"Alright! I just need to know: what happened after you left? I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." April could clearly see the worry in Arizona's eyes, and then a wave of guilt hit April of the idea to lie to her friend. But she promised Jackson, and she should at least comply with her own idea.
"I… I went home. I just wanted to be alone," April replied, fixing her eyes back on the lens of the telescope while readjusting its definition. She just could not bring herself to look Arizona in the eye while lying about it.
"I understand," Arizona said while resting one hand on April's shoulder. "It must have been an incredibly though decision to leave, but if you did not love Matthew the way you believe you needed to, then you did the right thing April. It might not seem that way to you, but it was." April could feel her sight starting to get blurry because of the kind words of Arizona, and she could not just lie to her anymore. April tore her eyes away from the telescope and looked at her best female friend with moist eyes.
"I… I love him," April muttered, her voice trembling. Arizona immediately understood that it was Jackson that April was talking about. She engulfed the redhead in a tight hug.
"Then tell him," Arizona said simply as she let go of April. April took a deep, shaky breath before deciding to tell Arizona the truth. The whole truth.
"I went home, because I just did not think I deserved to be happy. I deserved to be alone and miserable and to regret what I did. But I just couldn't feel any regret of not marrying Matthew. All I could feel was regret of not telling Matthew sooner that I had feelings for another man. Because Jackson's words… they just went straight through every atom of my body and I just knew that no one would ever make me feel that way. And as soon as I realized that, I just wanted to be with him so badly. So I decided to go to his place… I decided I wanted to be with him," April explained. Arizona's face softened and a small, reassuring smile appeared on her face.
"We're together now, but we decided to keep it a secret… Because I thought it would be easier that way," April continued.
"And, is it?" Arizona asked.
"I don't know," April answered honestly.
Soooo that was this chapter. Honestly, I am so extremely happy that we FINALLY got our Japril! That last scene was amazing! The first half of the episode I honestly feared that April walked out on Jackson and that they were actually avoiding each other, but then… I love this plot but I can imagine that it is extremely hard on the both of them. And poor Stephanie…
Leave a review if you can! I'll update asap.