Chapter 5: Shopping

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Edward screamed, clinging to the door. "I will NOT wear this outfit just because 'Miss' Haruhi wants me too!"

All the members of the SOS Brigade were trying to pry Edward off the door. (minus Yuki, who was reading a book.) "Please Edward-Chan," Mikuru begged, pulling on his waist as hard as she could. "Miss Haruhi wants this, and if you don't make her happy something terrible will happen."

"If I do make her happy, then something terrible will happen anyway, I"LL BE HUMILIATED! AND DON'T CALL ME CHAN!"

"How strong is this kid!" Kyon yelled, pulling on one of Ed's legs, while Koizumi had the other. "We can barley get him to budge!"

"I was expecting restraint," Koizumi said. "But if we don't get Haruhi what she wants, you know what will happen."

Being reminded of that, Kyon pulled even harder. But it wasn't working. Edward was clinging on to the pole as if his life depended on it, and to him, it did. "NO NO NO NO NO!"

Finally, as if growing impatient, Yuki closed her book, walked over to Edward's face, leaned down, and gave Edward a kiss on the cheek. Edward heart skipped a beat and involuntarily loosened his grip on the door and sent them all flying backwards.

Suddenly, Haruhi came running back from the stairs to the group. "Why are you all one the ground like that, hurry up! We only have 5 hours till the stores close. Come on!"

"How long do you intend to keep us at the mall?" Kyon muttered, standing up and helping Mikuru up.

Edward, still in stock and cupping his cheek, didn't even notice when Kyon, picked him up, hoisted him over his shoulder, and followed Haruhi outside. But when they got outside, however, Edward returned to his senses. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! PUT ME DOWN! He yelled trying to pry himself of Kyon. "Not on your life," Kyon said. "You'll only run away and well have to go searching for you. "

"I DON'T CARE! PUT ME DOWN, YOU OVER KIDNAPPING BASTARD!"

Yuki walked up to Kyon, so that her face was close to Edwards "Please, calm down?"

Blush, "ummm…Okay."

This made Kyon a bit annoyed, so he shook Edward on his shoulder very roughly. "Ow, watch it, kidnapper, I'm still mad at you."

Finally, after, for Kyon, seemed like hours, they finally reach there location. The Mall. "Okay," Haruhi yelled, standing on a bench and looking down at her team. "Were going to split up into teams! Alright! Mikuru, you're with Koizumi! Kyon, you're with Yuki! And Edward, you come with me!"

"Wait a minute!" Edward yelled, Kyon had finally set him down. "Why do I get stuck with you!" He wanted this time to spend with Yuki. Edward always thought of Yuki as a girl Alphonse. She was kind, expressionless, and loved to read. Being with her was the closes thing he was going to get to being at home, at least until this mess was over with.

"Because I said so, and I'm the leader!" Haruhi gestured to her arm band. "Now, off we go!"

"She didn't say were to go!" Kyon thought, "But at least Edward won't be around Yuki. Wait! Why should I care? Oh, I hate the way I think about cute girls!"

With this all the groups went into the mall. Mikuru and Koizumi went to go window shopping. Yuki and Kyon went, of coarse to the book store. And Haruhi and Edward…poor Edward… went to the clothes store.

In order to get what he wanted, Edward decided, he would have to try a different approach.(and no, it isn't brute force.) "Miss Haruhi." Edward said giving her the puppy eyes. "Please put me down. It would be better for your arm if you didn't carry me."

Haruhi, who had been carrying him under her arm all the way to the store, looked at him. "You're right."

She's really going to let me go? What a wonderful day it is. Now I just need to find the nearest exit and- What!

In Haruhi's hand was a leash, when she put Edward down, she grabbed him by the hair and fastened the leash on his neck. "W-W-Wait a minute! Are you crazy? You can't-" Haruhi pulled on the leash silencing him, the Suzumiya look on her face. "AAAWWW what a good boy, now be an obedient boy and heel."

"HEY! DON'T TREAT ME LIKE SOME SORT OF ANIMAL!"

At this point, many people were looking over at the two. Haruhi paid no attention to them, she merely pulled on Ed's leash and walked into the clothing store.

T-this is child abuse! She could get arrested for this! Plus, It's inhuman behavior! She can't do this! I could probably use Alchemy to break the leash, but not while people are watching. I'll wait till no one is watching.

So far, Edward's plan was not working, Haruhi was dragging him around and finding tons of costume ideas. Edward hoped they were all for Mikuru. Not that he wanted to force all the torture on Mikuru, that wasn't it, its just that if it was either him or Mikuru… well ya know.

When it looked like she was almost done looking, she saw the swimsuit section. She grinned, "Hey, Eddy-Chan, wanna see a modeling show?" Oh noooooooo! Just kill me and send me to hell before it's to late!

And so, Edward was tied up to a bench in front of a changing stale. Haruhi pulled back the curtains, she was dressed in a frilly bikini. "Eddy-Chan, do you think this who look good on Mikuru?" Did you have to wear it if you wanted to know if it would look good on someone else! "I told you to stop calling me Chan." Edward muttered, turning away from Haruhi. Haruhi, as most of you know, will never tolerate begin ignored by someone she wants to notice her. She decided to take extreme measures. "Edward," Suzumiya face "Wanna try one on?"

"WHAT!"

"Oh, come on it'll be cute! I'll even take a picture!" Haruhi grabbed her camera.

"THAT'S AN EVEN WORST IDEA! YOU….okay…"

"Great! Try this one!" Haruhi handed him one, she was a little surprised he had agreed so easily, but she decided that he was beginning to obey her easily. She untied Edward and pushed him into the dressing room. sucker. thought Ed.

Haruhi thought she saw a flash of light from in the dressing room stale, but decided it was nothing…."Edo-Chan, are you do yet….." No response. "If you don't come out I'm gonna come in after you…" No response. "Ooookaayy!" She pulled back to find… no one. "That sneaky little chibi!" Haruhi thought. "He must have escaped! But…how." Then she remembered that Edward could be and were by now. She got out her cell phone. Time to plan "Operation: Lost Kitten"

Sneaking out of there was easy. All Ed had to do was dissolve the wall to the stale and rebuild it once he was out using alchemy. Hopefully, Haruhi would take no notice of the light. Then that would give him enough time to get away. But, he still had one more obstacles, the rest of the SOS Brigade would be told to find him for sure! But before he dealt with that…. He needed to lose the outfit. The only problem with that was… he was broke. (he wasn't exactly getting paid by the military to be in hiding. -_-;) So, he used the thing he was best at, Alchemy.

He went into the nearest bathroom, took of the outfit and put it in to a pile. He clapped his hands and watched as the blue light began to stitch the clothes into something new. It was a red trench coat, extremely similar to the one he usually wore only with matching buttons. He put it on. It felt just like home.

Then he remembered something, the only pants he had were the leggings that came with the outfit! And he didn't have anything to tie his hair with! He rushed over to the nearest mirror. Damn it! This still makes me look like a girl! Well, maybe I'm just thinking that I do. Yeah, I look like a man… defiantly!

"Hey, cutie! I think you've got the wrong room!" Said a voice. Ed felt something pull up the back of the trench coat. Ed whirled around, a man was standing there with a smug grin on his ugly face. "WHY YOU!" Edward kicked the man right… well, you probably know already. If you were standing outside the bathroom, this is what you would over heard from inside.

Bam! Bam! "I-AM-A-GUY-YOU-MORON!" Bam-Bam-Bam!

After that you would have seen a small boy, or girl from a distance, coming out of the bathroom with a evil dark aura following him. Damn bastard! I guess this means I'll have to find something to tie my hair up with, and a pair of cheap pants. Oh no! Here comes Kyon!

Indeed, the tall boy was walking and looking around for something, or someone. Edward franticly looked around for a place to hide. But there was nowhere, so he grabbed a newspaper from a recycle bin and pretended to read it. "Excuse me miss," Edward saw to pairs of shoes from under the news paper. "Have you seen a boy around here? He would be wearing a red kitten outfit, and he would be small, very small." Edward gripped the paper hard to restrain himself from tackling the teenage. Suddenly he remembered that Kyon was asking him. "Oh, I don't think so" Ed said in the girlish voice he could muster. "Are you sure?"

"Oh, yes very sure, now if you'll excuse me." Ed was about to walk away, when Kyon yanked the newspaper out of Ed's hand. Immediately, Edward kicked him right…. Well ya know, and ran off. "Come… back you little monster!" Kyon cried in vain. After that, Kyon wouldn't be able to walk steadily for a week. Ouch.

Edward scurried down the hall, trying to not bump in to as many people as possible. That's when he noticed Yuki. He squeaked to a stop and walked over to her. She was looking at a small Kappa plushy in the toy store window. "Do you want that, Yuki?" Ed asked, Yuki looked at him. Ed could she in her eye's that she did want it. Edward knew he wouldn't be able to get a pair of pants and the doll, but he knew what was more important. He grabbed Yuki's arm and pulled her in the store.

Yuki held on tightly to the Kappa as they walked out of the store. She gave Edward a thankful look, Ed smiled at her. Yuki suddenly slowly reached down and grabbed Edward's hand. Edward eye's nearly popped out of his skull and his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He felt his knees go weak and he was about to look at her when suddenly someone grabbed his head from behind. "Got ya!"

Edward yelped and threw his hands in the air in panic. "I've got him guys!" yelled Koizumi, and before Edward could scramble away, he lifted Edward on to his shoulders, which made everything on Edward freeze except for his mouth. "HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING! PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWN!"

Edward continued to throw a tantrum as the rest of the group ran up to them. "Damn Edo-Chan, you're good!" Haruhi said. "I still can't figure out how you got out of there! I told all of you, he was perfect for the Brigade."

"And I can't figure out were such a tiny thing can get the strength for such a powerful kick." Kyon said, he was leaning on Mikuru. "SHUTUP, DON'T CALL ME TINY, AND FOR THE LAST TIME DON'T CALL ME CHAN!"

After Edward had finally calmed down, they all decided to get some dinner, Kyon's treat as decided by Haruhi. After that, there was an announcement that the store would be closing in 5 minutes. So everyone gathered there things and walked out of the mall. "Man," Haruhi whined. "We didn't even get to by anything, and I wanted to convince the store clerk to lower prices using Edo-Chan."

"Don't call me Chan!" Outside, while they were walking, a large truck passing by caused a big up gust of wind. Everyone stopped to let the wind go away, and looked at Edward. Edward was confused at first, then pushed down the trench coat quickly and turned very red. Everyone, with the exception of Ed, cracked up laughing. Even Yuki gave a twitch of a smile. "SHUTUP IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Ed yelled, blushing harder.

"Yes it is!" They all said.

"NO IT ISN'T"

"Yes it is"

"NO"

"Yes"

"ARRRRRRGGGGG!"

They reached the school and went back up to the club room to change. After that, they all said good bye and headed home. Yuki was clutching the Kappa the hole way back. When they reach there apartment, Edward and Yuki walked in and closed the door. "Edward," Yuki said. Ed turned to look at her. "Yes?"

"I have something that you need to know, about, what I am." Yuki looked at him. What is that look in her eyes? Is that … fear?

In case your wondering what a Kappa is, it is a sort of turtle mixed with a duck, it is know as a Japanese river guardian. It is extremely cute! It makes me jealous of Yuki!