They were alone.
Together.
It was only by chance really, Tali and Kaidan were off in the cockpit helping Joker fine-tune his instruments and make sure all was in the green. As to Wrex...the Krogan had gone to to eat a final meal before their drop, which meant he would be gone for quite some time eating enough food to cover half a table. Meanwhile Garrus had recently finished with checking the Mako and moved to check the Normandy's guns...
Which meant that the cargo hold was empty.
Save the two of them, standing side by side as they checked the team's weapons for their attack on Virmire.
It was nothing but standard procedure, though considering their lack of intelligence Michael was a bit overly cautious, tense.
No...not tense. She glanced at him, the man seemed...calm. He'd been running a lot of general simulations with them to prepare them for whatever they might face, he had ordered the ship to be fine-tuned even more then usual, to prepare everything to perfection...but he hadn't been tense about it. Hell, he hadn't even been joking around or been excessively cheerful like he usually was either.
Mostly...he had been surprisingly at ease...
It was good to see...yet worried Ashley. With such a small frigate it was impossible not to hear of what happens on it...and scuttlebutts said he'd been with Tali in the comm room for a full three hours.
Of course it was apparently because Michael wished to know about hacking and such – at least that was what Garrus had said – but given Tali's devious plans...who knew what had happened?
Yes, who knows...? Ashley licked her lips nervously, her hands fumbling with the clip for her assault rifle as she finished checking it. She couldn't have...? No he wouldn't actually fall for...could he? I mean she's...a Quarian...and...he hasn't been avoiding her...
In a way it was small miracle she was actually alone with Michael, and without him shying away in any way. But when duty called...he couldn't really avoid her. Not to mention that he'd been too distracted with the preparations to consider her and their ongoing...flirtation?Ashley frowned, she wasn't sure what to call it...a game of cat and mouse perhaps...all she knew was that it had gotten serious by now.
She couldn't wait like some frail princess any more, couldn't play the role she loathed anyway...no, not with Tali so blatantly trying to steal the still unaware Michael away. Or was he still unaware? She shot the man another worried look.
His gaze was fixed on the rifle before him, hands moving with the ease of hours of practice as they assembled it...and the softest of smiles on his lips as his eyes remained distant in memory...
God...no...
Hang on Ashley, it could be any number of reasons, hell, he could still be seeing her as a friend and simply remembering it as a fun time with her...as a friend. I mean she's in that suit and with that helmet, what could she have done? And Quarians are so flat and wide-assed...and sure it's funny to talk...but it'll only get you so far...
She felt her shoulders slump in relief.
Nah...what's the worst thing she could have done to make her intentions clear? Besides slipping a hand into his pants and...new thought! She shook her head violently, eyes screwing shut. Focus girl! It's Tali! She'd never dare do that...besides...no...stop...thinking...
"Are you okay?" She flinched, finding Michael's gaze no longer distant as he looked at her in question.
"I...uh..." She cleared her throat, cheeks flushing. "...yes, of course I am...why?"
He gestured for the table: "Because you're trying to fit a heat sink for a pistol into a shotgun..."
"Oh..." Ashley looked down...and felt her blush worsen. "Oh! Well...erm...I'm trying new things?"
The man chuckled and shook his head as he looked back to his own work. "Well whatever makes you happy...just make it right before we arrive..."
Silence.
Fuck it, time to push things...just start of easily...
"Actually...I and others are still surprised you spared that Rachni Queen, it didn't seem like you..." She looked up at him, her breath hitching with nervousness. Come on girl, you've done this before, never to a war-hero...or a man tougher than you...but it's still the same...yeah...
"Huh." Again Michael's gaze went distant as he looked down at the table, brow furrowing in thoughts. "That's strange...I thought you if anyone would get it."
"You..." Ashley blinked. "...did?"
"Yes." Michael turned to look at her, eyes surprisingly soft: "You if anyone knows what it's like to be judged by what your ancestors did."
Oh...
Ashley's hand dropped down to the table, holding her as she felt something with her shake as the words cut deep.I'm the one who inspired that decision? But...I wouldn't have saved it myself...I... She looked away, voice small. "Yeah...okay. But it's a Rachni...we can't really think of it in the same way we do..."
Liara. The memory of holding the Asari as she wept flooded Ashley's senses...and she felt the words in her mouth die as the recent realisation again reared its head at her. Why exclude the Rachni from the Asari and humans? Because of how they look? I...have things to think about...
"Ashley?" Michael's voice drew her out of her thoughts, making her realise that she'd just stopped talking.
She shook her head, smirking at him and his worried look: "Actually...yes...I do get it." A small shake of her head, eyes darting down to her hands, the hands that just a few days ago had held an Asari in an embrace of comforting...and smiled softly. "Good call, Mike..."
Silence.
Then a snort: "Mike?"
"Yeah." Ashley looked back up, the smile turning into a grin at Michael's arched eyebrow: "Trying it out for size."
The man rubbed the back of his head, head cocked to the side: "Yeah...I'm not the Mike type really..."
Ashley chuckled. Great, got him, now nudge him...
"What? The big bad hero going in alone into a nest of Rachni can't be called Mike?"
"Hey, I had good reasons to go in alone." Michael protested, hands shooting up in exasperation. "And really, I'm not a Mike."
Leaning her elbow on the table Ashley smirked at him: "Oh is that so Mike? Because all I saw were a bunch of excuses for you to go and do the hero-shtick."
"They weren't excuses!" Michael chuckled and shook his head, hands dropping to his sides. "And really, not Mike."
Hehe... Ashley's smirk turned to a grin as she kept her eyes as innocent as possible – which wasn't much – while she spoke: "Oh? How so? Explain how they weren't excuses, Mike..."
"I...that is..." Michael's pressed his lips tightly together, eyes flashing in irritation as he realised he was caught...unable to answer her without agreeing with her side...
A tense silence, Ashley crossing her arms over her chest, hip resting against the table as she looked at Michael's straining face with amusement.
And then his right arm moved up as he raised a lecturing index-finger at her. "And stop calling me Mike!"
Now! Go!
"Ah..." Ashley's hands dropped back to her sides as she moved closer, head tilting back to look up at him as her voice dropped low. "...and what if I don't want to?"
"I..." Michael, the big confident hero, swallowed, caught off-guard "...would get upset with you."
Reel him in...
"Oh...?" Ashley moved closer, feeling his breath against her forehead even as his pointing hand dropped, her gaze following its descent as it nearly brushed her chest. "Should I be afraid...?" She looked up again, seeing Michael swallow again as she looked at him from under her eyelashes. "Hmmm?"
"Maybe..." Michael breathed, even as he inched closer, his scent washing over her...making her breathe in deep, unable to help herself. "Ashley, I don't..." The words died in his mouth.
He was shaking...and Ashley didn't know why, but she did know how to make it stop. She took his hands, lifted them up...and placed then on her shoulders even as she inched even closer.
It made her dizzy...
Her voice was but a whisper: "Michael..."
Her hands slid up his arms...snaking underneath and then atop his shoulders, pulling her even closer as she rose onto her toes...feeling his arms wound around her neck...
Eyes closing...
Chest against chest...
Head tilting back...
Lips parting...
His breath, close...
"Commander, we have-"
Fear.
The emotion shot through her like lightning, making her push away from Michael's chest even as he released her as if he'd been burnt...and both whirled to look at the source of the interruption.
Fuck...
Kaidan and Tali stood just outside the open elevator...and by the looks of things they had come to a violent stop at the sight greeting them.
Shame.
Ashley's cheeks, at first flushed...drained at the sight of Kaidan.
He stood rigid before them, hands behind his back, stance stiff and eyes straight ahead, brown eyes stony and emotionless...the very image of a perfect stance of respect before his superiors. Emotionless and cold...uncaring...and all too easy to see through.
I...
Ashley blinked, surprised by the sudden pain in her chest as she sought Kaidan's eyes...only for him to stare straight ahead, practically a statue. God...no...please...
There was no forgiveness in the eyes though, no willingness to understand, not after the many times she'd acted interested, only to now throw herself at Michael...
And the worst part was...she deserved it.
Yet she couldn't' stop seeking his eyes, feeling her own swell with tears.
Kaidan...please...I didn't...I shouldn't have...
She took half a step forward-
Only to freeze into place as Kaidan's gaze moved to meet hers, not with sympathy or forgiveness, only a cold, unseeing...uncaring.
I...
Ashley looked down at her feet, unable to meet those eyes any longer, shame throwing her deep into a pit of darkness...feeling her failure of Kaidan as a dagger in her heart...
I...betrayed you...I knew of your intention yet said nothing, I only kept you around while hunting Michael...I...don't deserve either of you...
It hurt.
Not only what she had done to Kaidan, or herself, but the realisation she'd been no better – no, worse – then Tali.
Her eyes, unable to stand looking at herself a moment longer, moved up to Tali, the Quarian stood next to Kaidan, but in contrast to him, she was not a statue.
The Quarian was looking down at her feet, right hand rubbing her limp left arm. A shy glance up...and then she was looking to her right, as far away from Michael as possible...shoulders slumped, her entire being...awkward. Both her hands moved up, rubbing her shoulders as her chest shook with a struggling breath, the woman obviously trying to calm herself.
I'm...sorry...
Ashley felt her shoulders slump, feeling...wrong, it had all gone wrong...all were hurt...and all for nothing. She looked up at Michael...and blinked.
The man looked...confused.
His gaze was fixed on Tali and her embarrassed fiddling...and his face cycling between emotions.
Confusion...realisation...shock...surprise...and then confusion again, tinged with something more...
Tali glanced up...and then looked back down again, hands dropping in front of her as her fingers intertwined, nervously fretting.
Michael's voice was but a confused whisper: "Tali...?"
The Quarian turned, head downcast...and ran.
A thump of a closing door...and she was gone.
Silence.
"As I was saying...Commander..." Kaidan spoke, tone clipped and precise: "...we have finished preparations and Moreau is expecting us to reach Virmire within the hour."
Silence.
Then Michael blinking, head jerking as he looked down at the floor. "Yes..." An awkward clearing of his throat. "...thank you Lieutenant...that'll be all..."
Kaidan's hand flew up in a sharp salute, eyes cold. "Yes, Commander." A cold glance at Ashley...and he turned and moved for the elevator.
Pain.
It squeezed her heart tightly, made her gasp as Ashley turned, both hands finding the table, steadying herself as she shuddered, regret digging deep within her, making it impossible to breathe.
She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to battle the storm within her...but couldn't.
I'm sorry...
Silence.
Then the soft steps of Michael walking away.
So sorry...
And Ashley wept.
8
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Thanks to Abydos Jackson.