Chapter 3-
Cold. She was so cold. White flakes swirled around her vision, the sky was a bright white light that released them.
"Am I in heaven? Did I die?"
She attempted to sit up, but a sharp pain produced from her midsection ran through her body like fire and ice. She moaned; breathed in harshly through her clamped teeth. Her fingers grabbed at her stomach, and there she felt something slick.
Slowly, she brought her hand up to her vision; trembling, half frost bit. Crimson, crimson colored her fingers, her body, the cold soft snow around her. It traveled in drag lines towards her.
"I crawled here?"
She was becoming dizzy. Her blood seemed to stretch for as far as she could see. She felt, something. Something like fear? Fear for what? Was it the cause of the blood?
"I'm going to die." It wasn't an acceptance, nor was it realization. It was what she wanted, what her soul yearned for. Grief filled her entire spirit, leaving no room for bitter happiness.
And he appeared, snow flakes falling in circles around him like a god; face beautifully pale, stance as stoic as ever.
And her fear GREW.
Her heart beat FASTER.
Her despair CONSUMED her.
Falling, she was slowly falling in her own pool of blood.
Yet; she wasn't falling quickly enough.
From. Him.
Rin shivered; her lungs gasped for breath as her heart tried to calm. When she regained herself, she balled up her fist and punched the bed around her. A week. It had been a week since she'd seen him and that dream, that nightmare, had been haunting her ever since.
It was so confusing. One minute she's laying down outside, in the snow, bleed profusely. The next, she sees him, Sesshomaru, her mate, and… darkness. Nothing after that.
Was it a vision? Some type of fabrication her brain had come up with to substitute for the emptiness she felt without him? Her feet were making their way to the bathroom. Her orbs stared openly at her reflection. Sweat collected on her brow, and bags were slowly making their selves apparent.
A grim chuckle creaked out of her throat. How had her life become worse? There was a knock on the bedroom door. Closing the bathroom door, Rin turned the water on blast. The second knock came on the bathroom door.
"Rin? Are you alright?" She stared at the steam rising from the sink; her hands were scorched red.
"Rin?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." She shut the water off. Kagome attempted to turn the knob, only to find it locked. She was silent for a second.
" He's here, Rin."
The door flew open, and Rin stared at her friend with angry eyes.
"Tell him to leave. I don't want to talk to him."
Kagome was regarding her with a sad look; it made her bubble even more. Couldn't she see he was destroying her? Making her sick?
"If you don't become re-marked soon, you'll regress, Rin. Slowly, and painfully, you'll die. You can't avoid your soul mate once you've come into contact. So get dressed, and come downstairs. He'll take you back to his house."
She went to leave, and then turned back around. The tight embrace lasted for what seemed like eternity; Tears threatened to overflow Rin's brown eyes.
"He's going to take care of you this time Rin, trust me." With that she left.
Five minutes later she was trudging downstairs with the best pout she could muster. She tugged her shirt down, and walked into the foyer. He was there of course, looking just as out of place as she remembered. She avoided his eyes; not wanting to be swayed by the twinkle.
Inuyasha whispered something to him, and he finally turned his gaze from her to listen. They talked quietly for a few minutes. Kagome came over and squeezed her shoulder.
"What are they talking about?" Kagome looked back at the two men.
"Sesshomaru is unhappy about your 'condition'" She rolled her eyes.
"You do look a little sick; and a few pounds lighter, but that's entirely his fault."
Rin nodded, ignoring the fact that her state bothered him. She was just property in his eyes she bet. Finally, he turned to her.
"We're going."
She crinkled her nose, but the look Kagome gave her made her comply with him. She gave Kagome and Inuyasha a hug, and then marched passed him through the door. This time he had a black escalade, and Rin found herself looking at a raised vehicle. Gripping the door, she pushed herself up to get into the SUV. She was about to put her leg in when her grip slipped and she began to fall backwards.
Her mouth opened to release a yell; but suddenly she wasn't falling. She was encased in warmth and the smell of his cologne. Her eyes found his, and they were both still for a while. Her anger came back then, and she looked away.
It was as if she broke the trance. He lifted her into the seat; practically slamming the door after. When he climbed into the driver seat and ignited the engine she glanced over at him.
"How do you take it back?"
He didn't look at her. His eyes narrowed a bit as they watched the street before him.
"Take what back." His voice with flat, and without interest.
"The mark. Us being mated, the whole soul mate thing. I want you to take it back."
There was a plunge of silence, stiff, unnerving, stifling. His grip became noticeably tighter on the steering wheel. And then he did something Rin found odd, shocking, and uncharacteristic. He made the saddest face she could have ever imagined.
His pout made a fang protrude from his lips.
"You can't, Rin." His voice was quiet, almost thoughtful. "A bond like this cant be destroyed, even through death."
He went on looking defeated for a while, and then he returned to his emotionless mask. He didn't look at her for the rest of the trip. She almost felt bad. Had she really hurt his feelings?
She scoffed at herself. He didn't have feelings. That was a human virtue. Still, her emotions nagged at her. She felt like she was the bad guy now. They pulled up in his long driveway, and he cut the engine.
"I'm… I didn't mean to say that, Sesshomaru."
He opened the door. "I'm going to mark you. After that you can do as you wish. You have no obligation here with me." He left her alone in the car. Slipping down into the seat, Rin huffed. Feeling bad for him was a mistake.
She was right, he didn't want her. He didn't even care that they were mated. She climbed out of the car, and made her way slowly to the house. Instead of going to her given room, she decided to explore. Past the foyer was the grand stair case on both sides. Under it leads to the huge burgundy and green themed kitchen.
She went upstairs, where the halls were endless and the doors stretched on forever. She saw her room door, but the door right next to it caught her attention. It was a huge two door; dark cheery wood made Japanese style so it slid apart.
Curiosity got the better of her, and she crept up to the beautifully carved door. Her fingers slid against the smooth creation, and they slowly pulled the doors away from each other.
The room was breathless. In the far middle was a bed, one of the biggest she had ever seen. Dark wood dressers decorated another half of the room. The windows were huge; they seemed to stretch so long up to the raised ceiling. The thick curtains that hung from them were opened to let in the brilliant sunshine.
She turned to the bed. It looked too comfortable, and inviting. Giving into her desire and ignoring a nagging feeling that she shouldn't be in there, Rin allowed herself to drift towards the massive bed.
A sign left her lips when she sunk into the middle of it. She closed her eyes, curled up, and felt her self drift off to sleep.
Sesshomaru sipped his coffee slowly. The hot liquid didn't burn on the way down. His mind was in chaos. He didn't know how to act, now that Rin was here. Had he expected never to find her?
He took another long drag. His free hand played with a strand of his silver hair. Now, he was in battle with himself. Part of him wanted to love her like he had always, but the other part knew he couldn't lie to her like that.
Not after what he did. Her finding out was inevitable. It was just a matter of time. He slid his room door open, and stepped in. His brow rose in surprise when he saw the lump in the middle of his bed. He sat his coffee down.
Walking over to the bed, Sesshomaru gently pulled the cover back to reveal his mate's face. Her sleeping figure was angelic, and soothing. It reminded him of back when he use to watch her sleep beside him; her hand had tightly clutched his shirt to ensure he wouldn't leave.
He leaned forward, and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry." Rising from his seat, he went into the bathroom, and shut the door.
Rin groaned, and rolled over. Her hands rubbed her closed eyes for a second before she cracked them. There was a clicking noise coming from somewhere. Her eyes darted to the window. The sun was gone, replaced with the dark sky.
She had slept a full day. She lifted herself, and yawned. The clicking noise was still there. Confused, she gazed around the room. Her eyes settled on his back. He was sitting at a desk she had noticed earlier in a secluded office attached to the room.
The see through door was cracked open, and she could clearly see his silky hair, the muscles of his arm, the curve of his lips…
She blushed, and she could feel her face get hot. She had wondered into Sesshomaru's room, and slept in his bed. Why hadn't he woke her and kicked her out?
She just sat there, staring at him through the crack, until she was caught. His fingers stopped moving on the keyboard, and his body shifted in the chair. His gaze caught hers in the act. Yet, she couldn't look away.
She was suddenly engulfed with the need to have him close, to feel the heat from his body, and have his arms around her. She bit her lip, trying to remind herself she wasn't the same Rin he had been looking for.
He rose, and opened the door wider. Her breath caught, and all attempts of logic and reasoning fled her.
"Sesshomaru."
He walked until he was standing beside the bed. He reached out and grabbed a creamy thigh; dragging her to him until she was pressed against him.
"Sesshomaru, please?"
He held her gaze while his fingers caressed her cheek.
" I know I'm not her, but…"
He shushed her, using a claw to slide across her lips.
"You were always such a gentle girl, Rin. I changed you, and you became me. I don't want that again. You weren't happy…You were never happy that way."
She gazed in wonder at him.
"But…I'm still weak. I can't even try to be better." Her lip quivered, and her eyes were at a downcast. Sesshomaru lifted her chin until she was looking back at him again.
"I am your mate, Rin. I failed to keep you safe. It's my job to be strong, so you don't have to."
Rin smiled. She let her fingers travel through his hair, before pushing herself closer to him. Her lips touched his. Her heart fluttered in fear when he didn't respond at first, but he lifted her up and settled them both on the bed before deepening the kiss.
V
"I feel it. The connection to you." He smiled faintly at her; kissing her forehead and caressing her cheek. She frowned at him, reaching to touch his face.
"Why are you…worried? I can feel it from you, did I do something?"
He glided a claw over her bottom lip, and kissed her. "I'm sorry, my mate. I'm not proud of what…happened so long ago."
She studied him for a moment, before tucking her head in his chest.
"It doesn't matter what happened then, Sesshomaru. You can start over, now."
He listened to her heart beat slow, and her breath even out. She was always going to be his sweet Rin. He closed his eyes, pulling his mate closer to him. He was going to make the most out of tonight, because in the morning he knew she would know.
Kagome had told him about the dreams she had been having, and it was only a matter of time before she knew the truth. The horrible, cold truth. And what made it worse was that, he did not regret what he did. Only that she died in the end.
Cold. She was so cold. White flakes swirled around her vision, the sky was a bright white light that released them.
"Am I in heaven? Did I die?"
She attempted to sit up, but a sharp pain produced from her midsection ran through her body like fire and ice. She moaned, breathed in harshly through her clamped teeth. Her fingers grabbed at her stomach, and there she felt something slick.
Slowly, she brought her hand up to her vision; trembling, half frost bit Crimson, crimson colored her fingers, her body, the cold soft snow around her. It travels in drag lines towards her.
"I crawled here?"
She was becoming dizzy. Her blood seemed to stretch for as far as she could see. She felt, something. Something like fear? Fear for what? Was it the cause of the blood?
"I'm going to die." It wasn't an acceptance, nor was it realization. It was what she wanted, what her soul yearned for. Grief filled her entire spirit, leaving no room for bitter happiness.
And he appeared, snow flakes falling in circles around him like a god; face beautifully pale, stance as stoic as ever.
And her fear GREW.
Her heart beat FASTER.
Her despair CONSUMED her.
Falling, she was slowly falling in her own pool of blood.
Yet; she wasn't falling quickly enough.
From. Him.
He stared at her, his face giving off signs of disgust. His steps closer to her were agonizing; like a wound being twisted with a knife. Finally, he crouched down to her
"Mate, you dare run from me. Don't you value your life?"
Tears fell from her eyes, washing steaks of blood off her face.
"I have no life to value. It died when you beat it out of me. Let me die with it, please."
He scoffed, and his amber eyes burned.
"I will not be succeeded by a half-breed child of mine. You knew this. It is no one's fault but your own, Rin."
Her broken gaze watched him lifelessly.
"I thought you loved me, Sesshomaru. I though you were suppose to protect me…"
She coughed, and blood speckled her lips. He frowned, and felt her pulse.
"Stop this childish behavior, Rin. We're going back to the estate, or you will die."
She smiled, and clutched his shirt.
"You were never weak, Rin. Don't let an unborn child sway you now."
"I was always weak. You just never gave me the option… to let my mate take care of me…and now you see. I am indeed human. And I will die… a weak human along… with my unborn dead child."
Sesshomaru stood then, turning his back.
"Then you are not my wife; only a sad human woman."
And she died, in the snow, dyed red with blood, for her dead child.
& Sesshomaru went mad.
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