I'm back again^^.
Not much to say for me this time only:
THANKS to AVECIA for her beta work – I couldn't wish for a better beta than her (and: go read her stories, they are GREAT).
A great 'thanks you' to my readers and reviewers too. I'm glad you're staying with me, still^^.
Also, I don't own anything 'bout the VD, I'm just messing around with them. It's too much fun to stop!
On with it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Elena was lying on the lawn in the backyard of the boardinghouse, arms and legs spread out, simply staring at the stars above.
She had talked with Jenna and 'the Donovans' - she still was baffled that Matt and Caroline had tied the knot – already. Those two conversations had been the easy ones, really.
Jenna was so glad to see her, to know that she was okay, that she only had a little hissy fit.
And Caroline was just… Caroline. Took everything in stride, and wanted to know if she met any interesting people (read: men or celebrities) on her travels.
Matt hadn't changed all that much either. Still solid as a rock. Loyal friend, loving husband and even after all those years, the sweet little boy she'd known since she was too young to remember.
Tyler wouldn't be interested in a heartfelt catch-up. They never really were friends, just acquaintances at the best of times. And Alaric was ticked off of her list at the same time as Jenna, as he wouldn't leave her side, even for a moment. And if the ring on her aunt's hand was anything to go by he would soon be family.
That left only Stefan and Jeremy.
With her brother she would deal later. She loved him; that much was true. But even after all those years she hadn't quite forgiven him for the harsh words he said in her last night as a human being.
Anger and hurt aside, he had had no right to say the things he had. She could've lived with the 'go to hell' he threw into her face earlier that night. But to blame every death on her, to wish her dead? That went beyond his rights, even if she had blamed herself at the time.
She knew herself well enough to know that she would forgive him sooner or later. Now that she wasn't at least one ocean apart from him, she couldn't shove him to the back of her mind anymore.
But the conversation she dreaded the most, was the one with Stefan.
The only thing he had done wrong was to ignore how they had drifted apart over the last couple of weeks in their relationship.
And she had done the same thing – only realizing it, as she had wrote the note she had left on her bed.
She had no idea what he had been up to since she left Mystic Falls. Only that he, too, had traveled a lot.
But he had returned home after a few weeks gone, every time. That was all she heard about him. She was really glad that Katherine had kept them up-to-date with the happenings 'back home'. It would be worse if she had known nothing.
Elena moved her head slightly to the side as someone sat down beside her.
When you think of the devil…
Stefan.
Sighing she pushed herself into a sitting position – she had hoped to postpone this particular conversation for at least another few days.
Seems like he had other ideas, though.
As a few minutes had ticked by and neither of them had said anything, she got tired of waiting.
"Don't you want to ask me something? Or maybe shout and swear… I won't mind either; promise. I mean, I had left you to think I'm dead. So, give it your best go."
Stefan gave her a tired smile at this and leaned back onto his elbows, gazing up into the sky like she had been doing only minutes before.
"I don't know what I want to do, really. I believed you were dead for so long… and somehow, I have the feeling that I have no right to be angry. I mourned you, true. But…I got over you after too short a time. You were right with what you wrote. We wouldn't have made it. Guess we just weren't made for each other."
He was silent again, thinking about something before he continued.
"I always saw this fire in your eyes, as we first met. Even if it was buried under sadness, it was always there.
But with me, it was always just a safe little camp fire. Just warming everything to a safe and pleasant degree.
With Damon, though, it was entirely different.
I first saw it when you were angry with him; that this fire was consuming you and everything around you. No longer safe and confined, but an honest to god forest fire.
You know what he had said once; back when we were both still human?
He said: 'Love has to burn you. It has to have the power to hurt and destroy you, but to make you whole and different and new and perfect at the same time. Everything else is just a fleeting infatuation.'
I remember it because it was so unlike him – being so philosophic.
I laughed at him, at the time – I was just 13 and still thought of women as strange beings.
Later, with Katherine, I first got an inkling of what he was talking about – even if I was confusing lust with love.
And then, so many years later, I met you. And the closer we became, the more warmth I felt inside. It was safe and beautiful – but the fire I saw in you scared me sometimes.
The few times you let loose, you reminded me so much of my brother, it was eerie. Not the cruel, bitter side he always showed after Katherine. But this 'live life at it's fullest, as if there is no tomorrow' attitude. To always see something funny or interesting, or challenging, no matter how deep or dark it seems.
But I held onto the safe feeling, was afraid of loosing it… of loosing myself again.
I was unfair, to the both of us – and to Damon."
As he was done he just sat there, basking in the soft light of the moon, and looking at ease with the world.
It stunned her; it was as if the weight of the world, which constantly seemed to be on his shoulders, was finally gone.
Relieve flooded her instantly. After being afraid of his reaction for so long, it felt like she could finally breathe easy again.
Still, she had to make sure that there was no bad blood between them.
"So… you're not angry with me? You're not gonna snap or something?"
He contemplated her question for a moment before he answered.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not… happy about everything here. It would've been nice to know that you're okay – it would've eased the guilt a great deal. And I really don't like the idea how Damon must've laughed behind my back, every time he got a new letter from you. They were from you, right? To think that he knew, all along… it's leaving a bitter taste, I can tell you. But other than that? No, I think we're… okay. Maybe now we can be the friends we were destined to be from the beginning."
"Friends… yeah, I think we can do that. Thank you, Stefan."
She leaned into him, then, and gave him a sweet, lingering kiss on the cheek, before she got up and made her way back to the house. Before she went inside, she looked over her shoulder, finally free from at least this burden in her heart.
Then she closed the door behind her, and went to find Damon.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
After he hadn't answered as she knocked on his door, she entered his room just to find it empty.
But as she wanted to leave again, she heard the splattering of water from the bathroom, so she closed the door and sat down on his bed, leaning onto the headboard.
She took a book from the nightstand – laughed as she saw it was the battered exemplar of 'The call of the wild' Bonnie once summoned from the bookcase downstairs, and wondered how often exactly he had read the book by now.
Shrugging she opened it to the first page and began to read herself as she waited for him to get done in the bathroom.
About fifteen minutes later he came out, only clad in a towel, wound around his hips.
He lifted an eyebrow as he saw her sitting on his bed, sock clad toes waggling in time to an unheard beat.
She put his book back on the nightstand she slowly let her eyes gaze over him before she returned his glance full force.
Taking on the unspoken challenge, he dropped the towel from his hips, standing naked in the middle of the room.
He snorted as his actions failed to embarrass her and turned to put on boxers and a shirt.
"I think Katherine ruined you. You're not even trying to look offended. Now, where's the fun in that?"
She chuckled silently and pushed herself off of the bed, stopping a few feet in front of him.
"Nah, that's not Katherines fault. I think I forgot to be ashamed of a naked body as we lived with this native tribe in Amazonia for a few weeks. They were naked all the time. Really bothered me in the beginning. But one day I went to the river to wash my hair, and found myself undisturbed by the men and women already there. I think I just grew accustomed to it."
She shrugged then, and waited for what he would do next.
"So… are we going to pretend that there is nothing to talk about? Because, you know, I can do that – I'm real good at it, too."
It was just like him to leave this decision to her.
"Depends."
"On?"
"Well… on what you want. I have no idea how your feelings changed since I've been gone. I don't know what you want anymore. So, if you want to play the pretending game and go back to be friends, we can do that."
He laughed at that – at her.
"You can be quite funny if you want to, you know?"
Damon closed the gap between them, caught her head between his hands and, just like that, kissed her.
And it was everything she ever imagined his kiss to be. Full of everything he felt, it revealed more than everything spoken in human words
It laid him bare in front of her, and she felt beautiful and unique, wanted and loved.
But it ended all too soon as he broke the contact between their lips, leaning his forehead against hers.
"Stupid woman. Don't you know that it was always just you? Ever since you saved me in Georgia – threw Lexi's words back into her boyfriends face. 'When it's real, you can't walk away'."
She smiled at him, putting all the longing she felt for him into the smile before she captured his lips again.
As her hands drifted to his chest, she wondered briefly why he had put on a shirt in the first place. But in no time all thoughts left her, leaving her only to feel.
Some time later she felt his soft mattress under her back, never once loosing a thought on how she got there – never mind how she had lost her jeans and top.
The only thing that mattered was that she could feel his skin on hers, burning and sending cold shivers over her at the same time.
The entire time they refused to close their eyes, wanting to make sure that this was real.
Soft gasps and moans filled their ears, spurred them on to elicit even more from the other.
Soon even the last pieces of clothing were gone, nothing separating them, nothing hindering them to become, finally, one.
There would be time to be slow and gentle later.
Now, the only thing that counted was this moment. To be together, after they waited for so long for this to happen.
No words of love and devotions and forever were needed. Touches and kisses, and the expression in their eyes told everything there was to know.
Later they could talk. Later they could promise the world to the other and apologize for lost chances. Later. But not now.
Because now they were whole again, no longer separated. There was no need for them to pretend.
They just lost themselves in the other, not a caring in the world.
Tomorrow they would start to worry, start to be responsible and strong.
But this night was theirs, with only the stars and the moon watching them, granting them this moment of peace.
Xoxoxoxoxox
Now, I'm done for today. I hope you liked it – hope it was okay how I let the relationship between Stefan and Elena end. And how I brought the one between her and Damon to a new level^^.
Tell me what you think. Just click on the button below and type!
So long,
Zora.