A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed any of these stories :) I don't plan to write another installment, but I am considering writing some vignettes. If you have any requests for flashbacks or flashforwards, PM me. I hope you all like how this ends. Just remember, Bucky (and the Winter Soldier) is always pragmatic.

15. Save Me, 'Cause All I Do Is Damage

Natasha is downstairs, as she said. He has climbed out his window and down the wall outside to avoid attracting Steve's notice. What he needs to do needs to be done without Steve. Still, he doesn't know where to go on his own. So he finds Natasha. She is sitting on the couch downstairs, changed out of her mission gear and into loose clothing similar to his own. He has considered putting his mission gear back on, but doesn't want to. Not for this.

"Can I help you with something?" she asks, when she notices him standing nearby, her flinch hardly visible.

"Yes."

She looks up at him, sees the look on his face, and nods. "You remembered him." He doesn't move. "You want me to take you to him."

"Yes."

"Okay." She stands up and they walk down to the elevator, to the motor pool, and drive out into the city. He pays close attention to where they are going. It doesn't take long to reach the building. When she starts to get out of the car, he puts his left hand on her shoulder, arresting her movement. He can feel her stiffen, ready to attack or evade.

"Where is he?" he asks quietly.

She looks at him sharply. "Cell 531. On the 5th floor."

"Do I need clearance to get there?"

"No, it's an old facility. Not automated," she says, shaking her head, watching him carefully, holding very still under his metal fingers.

"Then you can leave," he tells her, and gets out of the vehicle. He walks toward the elevator on the other side of the parking garage, aware that she is still sitting there, watching him. He doesn't care. Even if she tells Steve, the soldier should have time to finish here before he could possibly arrive to stop him.

The building is silent. The sound of the elevator seems almost deafening in comparison. He stands patiently in the center of it, arms folded over his chest, legs spread apart. When the ping indicates he is on his floor, he strides forward and quickly surveys his surroundings. It is a long narrow hallway, with white doors every few feet on either side. They must be small cells. He finds 531 and opens the deadbolt. Inside, there is a man lying on the cot. George Porter.

When the door is opened, the man sits up and blinks at him owlishly, the light from the hallway illuminating the space. He is aware that he is silhouetted and waits until the man recognizes him. The moment is easy to pinpoint, as Porter presses himself against the wall and whispers "Oh, God."

He steps inside, shutting the door behind him, flicking on the dim light so the soldier can see. He doesn't care if Porter can see him. "You took everything from me," he says calmly.

"Oh, please, no, please, I didn't," Porter snivels.

"You weren't the first. But you were thorough," he insists.

"I didn't know, I didn't have a choice, they had - " he began.

"I don't care." Porter shut up, staring at him with wide eyes. "Could you pick and choose what memories you took, or did you have to take them all?" he asks quietly, dangerously.

"They wanted it all gone, it wasn't -"

"Your choice. I know. Answer the question."

Porter swallows hard. "We could choose."

"Keep talking."

"The first procedures, from when they found you, were inexact and took everything. But we worked on it and could erase just what needed to go. It was useful for other … people, but they always wanted us to take everything from you."

"Did you know why?"

Porter looks around nervously, as though expecting some phantom of his former employees to come silence him. As if the soldier doesn't already fit this description. "They said you'd keep remembering things if you were allowed to, if you had somewhere to start. That it would break your programming and make you unstable."

He gives a quick nod when the man stares at him, afraid. "The place where we found you. Did you have your equipment there?"

"Yes," Porter says slowly.

"If I take you there," he pauses, taking a deep breath. "Can you wipe some of it away?"

Porter looks surprised. And possibly relieved. "What parts?"

"The last seventy years," he says flatly.

"I think I can do that," Porter says, his eyes pitying, the fear fading.

The soldier reaches out and grabs him by the throat with his left hand. "I can make things very unpleasant for you if you don't do exactly as you're told, even if I don't remember anything." The man nods hastily. He lets him go and turns around to open the door. Before he can, it bursts open and Steve stands in the doorway. He sighs. He thought had more time.

"Bucky! Don't!" Steve cries, then stops, taking in the scene.

"I wasn't going to," James replies placidly, folding his arms over his chest.

Steve frowns, looking from him to Porter and back. "Can I talk to you alone?" he asks finally, stepping back into the hallway. He follows, glancing back and shrugging at Porter when he meets his eye.

"I'm on a mission here, Steve," James tells his friend when he shuts the door behind him.

"What exactly is your mission?" Steve asks, staring at him intently.

He looks away. "I thought he might be able to help." He pauses, motioning toward his head. "Get rid of some stuff I'd rather not be there."

When James looks up, Steve's face is crestfallen. It's the third time he's seen it this way, and it hurts. He frowns and looks away again. "Bucky, I don't think that's a good idea. Who knows what he might be able to do if you let him in your head?" James shrugs. "Maybe we can find someone who we trust to help," Steve suggests.

"Are there a lot of people involved in brainwashing you would trust?" he asks harshly.

"No," Steve admits. He is watching him, watching James, very carefully. "Why do you want this?"

He sighs. "Why wouldn't I?"

Steve takes a deep breath. "When Dr. Erskine was getting me ready for the procedure, he said the serum would amplify whatever was already inside. The Red Skull was always evil, it just made him more so. I always wanted to help people, and now I can, more than ever." James shrugs, turning away, not wanting to hear more. Steve puts a hand on his shoulder and he stops, but doesn't turn back. "You were a great sniper, a good soldier, yes. And you became better at both of those things after. But you were also a good man. You wanted to do what was best for those you loved. Don't you think those things were amplified, too?"

"Do you?" he whispers.

"Yes. Bucky, you saved me. You didn't know who I was, but you didn't finish your mission and you saved my life when given the chance. I don't know what lies HYDRA told you, but I'm sure they had to or you wouldn't have done what they told you to do."

James thinks of Pierce, telling him how he'd shaped the century. Why had he felt the need to tell him these things? Was he noncompliant otherwise? If not given a good reason to do his mission? He didn't know. Few memories from before the missions themselves have surfaced. "Why are you doing this?" he asks quietly.

"Because you're my friend."

There is considerable pain in Steve's voice. James turns to look at him, surprised by the expression on his face. "You aren't guilty of any of this," he tells him.

"Without me, you wouldn't have still been at war. You wouldn't have fallen. They wouldn't have taken you after. You'd never have had seventy years of experiences you want to erase," Steve says softly, brokenly.

He clenches his jaw, reaching out, tentatively, to grasp Steve's shoulder with his right hand. "Without you? They were experimenting on me before you came along. It's not your fault I was turned into a weapon. But without you, I'd still be him," he tells him firmly.

Steve smiles, slowly. He looks toward the door of the cell and then meets his eye. "Do you really want to lose more?"

He sighs. "No."

"Let's go home," Steve suggests, voice rising at the end in question.

He glances back at the door, considering. "Yeah, let's go home," James says.

-End-