Chapter 05: In Memoriam

Murakami, Shinōreijutsuin, Year 02 Student

The rain in Seireitei was extremely erratic, I realized. Just yesterday, I was looking at the pale blue sky peppered with smooth, white clouds, signaling a pleasant season. Now, at six in the morning, the rain was cascading in little drops outside my window. I tightened my hakama with the sash, and adjusted the garment so that the insignias would be aligned perfectly. Somewhere in my mind, perfection of attire was resonating with performative perfection, which was my aim for today. I wanted everything to be exactly as I desired it. I gripped the hilt of my nameless sword, and drew it in one swift motion, holding it in the Zanjutsu stance, just as Kawana sensei had taught me, unwavering yet fluid. The wooden floor of my dormitory creaked and groaned as I jumped, leaped and clumsily flash stepped, doing my basic kata. Perhaps the sound of rain prevented me from sensing the figure behind me, or it was just that I wasn't that good- not that I would admit to it.

"Hey."

I gave a start, and turned around.

"Oy oy, you shouldn't be in here!"

Rin Usagi gave a ghost of a smile.

"Right."

My relationship with her was...complicated. Things were left unsaid, and I kept trying to reassert my interest in her by using these little gestures. Sometimes, she had gestures of her own, but then, I didn't quite know if I ever read them right. I was also wondering if this was one of those. Her voice snapped me out of it.

"Well, are you going to look at the ground or come out? I don't really want to be caught and reprimanded." Saying that, she passed through the corridors and vanished. I followed her, after giving everything a once over.

The courtyard was vacant, as both of us knew that we were early.

"Figured you'd be up earlier. But hey, I wanted to tell you that I may just have heard my Zanpakuto spirit."

I gave another start. Not to mention a sliver of envy also passed through my mind. It must've shown on my face, because she was quick to respond.

"Well, I did say "may". Your face shows too much, Haru."

I quickly hastened to cover up.

"Hey, anyone here would be lucky to hear so much as a whisper, or even sense a presence from their blade."

"I just wanted to tell you that-you're too competitive you know?"

Her voice had the judgmental undertone I knew only too well. After all, I used that same tone quite often.

"Sorry, sorry. Can't help it sometimes." I gave her an apologetic smile. She frowned, but continued.

"It was nothing like I've ever felt before, Haru, you have no idea how...overwhelmed I was. Like a voice from the void was whispering something utterly indecipherable. At least, I couldn't make out what."

"It was the name. It has to be..." I mused.

"Maybe, it's too early to tell."

I put my arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, it's something, huh? We can always speculate, can't we?"

I sensed a sudden tension from when I touched her, but she didn't quite flinch. Or remove my hand.

"Yeah, I guess?"

It was still drizzling, but it wasn't quite bothersome. The time of the day wasn't quite discernible, however, as it was overcast. After five odd minutes of silence, I removed my hand. She gave me a smile.

"Oh, and I also had to give this to you. Your test results...if you didn't already receive them verbally from the examiners. Especially Kawana."

She handed me a slim envelope.

"Well, exceptional grades for Year one. Keep it up and you'll be the next Kaien Shiba."

I grinned at her.

"I could've been Ichimaru Gin?"

That got her. "Yeah right, but who would you rather be?"

"Doesn't matter, they're both dead..."

"Haru!"

"Fact. I'd rather be me." I pompously pointed at myself.

"And there we go..."

I could hear footsteps now. Students began queuing up in the courtyard as the time for the field exercise neared. Today was an important day, as we were actually going to engage with hollows in non simulated environments, unlike what we had been doing so far. Field training sessions only kept increasing in frequency as Shinigami needed all the exposure they could get. Needless to say, the first one was crucial. This was reflected in all the students gathered there, in all of us. Casual bubbles of conversation began forming.

"Oh, I see Isana there..." I remarked.

"Yeah, and that Osamu..." Rin remarked.

"Who?" I turned around. There was someone she was talking to. He had a severe expression on his face, and by Rin's tone, I could tell something was up.

"Oh, do I have to ask you, Usagi?"

"You're quite the gossip monger aren't you?"

"You know you want to spit it out, so don't resist your urges!"

She smirked, and continued. "Some third year...he's taken a certain interest in her...and well, that's actually it."

"Ne, ne, you know more."

"That's her affair, I'm not saying anything else."

"Yeah yeah...there's a line drawn now..."

There was a lull as instructor Kawana made his appearance. A large, imposing man, his voice was like a bass drum to match. His hair was close cropped and severe, very much fitting the role of a typical hard instructor.

"Cadets! Oy, you, Masahiro-chan! Stand like you've gotten some bloody life in you!"

"Masahiro-chan" was yet another member of the Omaeda family, big boned like the rest of his brood. He shuffled awkwardly and puffed his chest.

"And you, Osamu-Baka! Can't keep your eyes off a woman for more than a second eh? Stop gossiping like a fishwife! And Isana-hime, don't look at him for too long, you'll lose a few IQ points!"

Osamu's face had taken on the burden of shame, while Isana just had an amused look, as if she actually encouraged this ribbing. He hastily made his way into the file he was allotted to.

"Much better! Now, if any of you have any bright ideas about fighting hollows, I suggest you stow them in the furthest corners of your shit stained minds! Only remember what is called PROTOCOL!"

My ears had been substantially violated by now. But Kawana was relentless.

"What do we do when we see a hollow? Get these steps drilled in your skulls, and you all can sleep in beds, come nightfall! Ay Osamu-chan, get your gossiping self over here! Let's see you repeat the four steps eh?!"

Kawana, needless to say, had his quirks, and quite the flamboyant way of addressing the cadets. Even I'd received this "chan" treatment earlier. As had everyone else. Osamu looked resigned and tired as he reached Kawana, who roughly turned him around and slapped his back. His voice was a monotone.

"Step one: Take Stance. Step Two: Look for the mask. Step Three: Aim for the backside of the mask. Step Four: Run and call for help if necessary."

"That's right! RUN, and save your goddamn lives to return with backup and send the hollow to the cursed pit it belongs to! No shame in a tactical retreat! You don't become a hero if you're dead, you just become a bloody martyr! And it doesn't help the others to have one man less fighting for them, so dying is pretty damn selfish eh?!"

Everyone droned. "Sir yes sir!"

This speech was too rehashed, even if it rang true.

"Now, repeat after Osamu-chan!"

Half an hour later, we began moving, much to my relief. I could not stand simply waiting around. Others shared my sentiments, I saw, as their faces were eager and showed anticipation. Isana fell in step with Usagi and I, and both of them began murmuring in hushed tones.

"Murakami." I saw a fourth year step in to talk to me. Kaito was one of the few people I actively interacted with in the academy. He was something of an academy veteran, who, the teachers had deemed perfectly capable of graduating a year and a half ago, but he insisted on completing an entirety of seven years. I'd quizzed him about it, but he never really gave me a reason which made sense to me - it ranged from "I felt like" to an elaborate description of the seven year program and it's necessity. His natural hair colour was black, but there were sizeable grey streaks weaving through it. The man just looked like he was steeped in age since birth. His abilities as a Shinigami were anything but, however, and he's been quite helpful with improving mine.

"So, think we'll encounter any Gillian today?" I asked.

He frowned at that. "There's always that random element involved in these excursions to the living world, man. I don't think we can expect what'll hit us, but then again, Kawana's going to use a low grade hollow bait. I'm guessing we'll encounter some minor pests."

"What can hit us, then?"

"Can be anything. Depends on how adventurous the hollow is feeling..."

"Heh, I'm sure Kawana is more than capable."

"I'm sure he is...hey, listen. Do you want to be in one group? Call your friends too, so that the group of four is complete?"

I nodded. Usagi and Isana were both acquainted with him, so we wouldn't be having issues with compatibility. As expected, they agreed to be part of one clearing squad, and by this time we'd reached the site where the Kido corps had prepared Senkaimon.

"Remember, stick close, and don't rush in blindly! I don't want some cadet deaths on my hands cause you were idiotic about your choices! Understood?" Kawana boomed.

"Hai!"

The Senkaimon then opened, and we traversed the Dangai without event. It was timed very safely, and the cleaner was nowhere in sight. I was in a hurry to get out of here anyway. The precipice world always gave me the shivers whenever we passed through, be it for research or fieldwork. Thankfully, I'd only seen the cleaner in textbook diagrams and whatnot.

We soon broke up in squads of four on the hill overlooking Karakura Town. Home of the famous substitute Shinigami, Kurosaki Ichigo, it was also a favourite training site for unseasoned Shinigami, now that overwhelming hollow sightings were rare. Usagi returned after talking to Kawana, and motioned that we go to the southern part of town. We were handed communication devices, compact little pieces of technology powered by Reiatsu- an indigenous product of the division twelve. I'd toyed with the idea of applying there, but then I had the chance of encountering the infamous Mayuri Kurotsuchi giving a lecture on Reishi. Needless to say, I was dissuaded.

"Kawana's given us the southern quadrant. If we run into something too much for us, we just communicate ASAP and retreat. Simple, I guess..." Usagi said, handing out the devices. I wore mine behind my ear.

The sky was positively trembling, and the clouds were pulsing with barely contained lightning surges. It was supposed to be morning, but it looked like eventide. I liked this weather though, so I wasn't about to complain. The rain hadn't quite begun here. Did Seireitei mirror the weather in Karakura? Perhaps.

Kaito was like the de facto leader, due to his experience. He gave clear commands, as he began releasing the hollow bait. We took our positions on the compass, facing the four directions with our backs to one another. The wait began. My hands clenched my sword in anticipation, as a low eerie howl was heard in the vicinity.

Miyo Nobura, Plus

The rain danced on the rooftop with fast, deliberate steps as I kept myself occupied by staring at the slit in the window. The pale sunbeam which had filtered in some time ago was no longer there. Instead, the wind was whistling indiscreetly in the little space, interspersed with pauses full of rainy noise. The walls of this room had collapsed upon themselves when I was alive here, sleeping on that very bed. Now, it just resembled a pile of wooden awkwardness. Earthquakes, I reminded myself, were very common, and no one in particular could be blamed for my death. I did not really believe in a god, but then, I did not believe in ghosts either. Until now. What was I? There was an oddity emerging from my chest – a chain, a metallic chain which was slowly withering with each passing day. I was yet to make sense of this. But the chain was the least of my worries. There was an ominous rumbling on the streets, and it had been since the past two days. I had holed myself in here precisely because of that primal fear which surged through me every time I ventured outside. I was very, very afraid, and my fear was renewed when that rumbling became a howl, very, very close to where I had hidden myself.

There was someone in the compound, in the space between the condos. I moved up to the other window, and was extremely surprised to find four individuals facing the four directions standing there. They were wearing some kind of uniform. I couldn't help but think that it was extremely dated in its style, hakama and all that. They were even carrying swords, to boot. Was it a ritual of some sort? The howling was getting louder. They definitely had something to do with it. Then, I saw it. A demon, an otherworldly creature out of a child's nightmare. It wore a bone-white mask, with a malignant gleam in its eye sockets, and its body was like an insect, with a gaping hole in its torso. It opened its mouth to reveal serrated teeth, and when it did, I knew it was the one causing all the fearsome noises. The four of them seemed unfazed, though.

One of the men yelled. "Murakami, take point! Distract it with Isana's help! Usagi and I will move for the kill!"

The one named Isana (I assumed she was the girl) raised her hand and yelled.

"Hado #01: Sho!"

The direction she was pointing at was the creature, which then staggered suddenly. I gasped. Magic?

The boy with her took on a lecturing tone. "Isana, in such cases, use a Bakudo!"

He zig-zagged and pointed at the creature, who was already being pursued by the other two.

"Bakudo #4: Hainawa!"

A thin, yellow filament appeared from his fingertips, and wrapped itself around the demon, keeping it in place, albeit uncertainly. It howled and threatened to break through, but I needn't have worried. The girl in front hacked one of its limbs, and the man seemed to disappear behind its face, shattering its mask with his sword. It gave another blood curdling cry and vanished.

A sudden surge of something like hope coursed through my body. Maybe these people could help! After all, they did kill that thing. Should I reveal myself? Normal humans couldn't see me, but these didn't seem normal anyway. I got to my feet, only to hear another sound. Or series of sounds.

Now, three demons of a weird, hellish assortment had streamed in. The warriors (whatever they were) tensed again. I turned around and shut my eyes, even as I could hear shouts mixed with howls and swearwords. The ordeal lasted ten minutes, and when I looked back, they all seemed slightly exhausted, weary. But then, an earth shattering series of howls began issuing from all corners of the building. Many, many forms came through from each corner- some small, some medium sized. The number was daunting. Then, that was when the sky tore itself apart, and a long, dark shadow began descending on the rooftop of my building.

Murakami, Shinōreijutsuin, Year 02 Student

We were simply not ready for this kind of onslaught. There were too many to deal with. Rin slashed the first birdlike hollow to my left, leaving me open to deal with the one behind her back. Kaito was engaging three at once, with Isana firing kido blasts behind him, trying to prevent more than that number from overwhelming him. I looked at Rin, but she simply shrugged and went on to lodge her sword in a hollow.

"We kill as many as we can. I've already called for help!" Kaito yelled, the horrendous sounds almost drowning out his voice. I jumped over a flailing tail, which shattered the glass window behind me. Using a particularly charged thrust, I bifurcated the hollow, but not without realizing that I'd spent far too much reiatsu in that strike. Exhaustion was slowly getting to me, destroying me, slowly and surely. What in kami's name were so many hollows doing here?! The bait was not so potent.

Think, Haru, Think!

Rin Usagi barreled into me right then, sending both of us flying into a debris pit. A muffled cloud of sand was kicked up. I could not see.

Class 3: The Behavior of a Hollow. Sub-category Five. A Hollow of a class lower than a Vasto Lorde prioritizes the primal satisfaction of hunger. It will be attracted toward any form of Plus, but will deviate attention if another Plus with higher amounts of Reiryoku or a Shinigami happen to be in the immediate vicinity.

"Haru, snap out of it, you idiot!" A resounding slap, too, did not do much.

Hollow bait: Of an inferior quality. Rightful assumption: Will attract a few hollows. Assumption has failed. Circumstance? There are too many hollows to believe the assumption. Inferences, Inferences. One: Instructor Kawana, out of ignorance or otherwise, has given a stronger quality of bait. Two: There is a soul nearby with considerable Reiryoku to attract these overwhelming numbers. Three: The area, with respect to probability, was densely populated with hollows. Three seems viable- But why? Check environment. We are in a dilapidated apartment complex- what caused the dilapidation? Some form of disaster, perhaps. Which would lead to an added number of Pluses due to death toll, subsequently increasing the number of hollows populating the area. Bingo. Conclusion: Drastically wrong choice of location.

My conclusion did absolutely nothing to change our situation. We had idiotically walked into some location, which was extremely unsuitable. The other two possibilities of inference were there, but-

"Haru!" I found myself flying backward, as a dull pain spread to my stomach. I had been caught by a particularly jarring upward thrust by a Gillian in the abdomen, and as I flew, the window met my flying form, sending me through it in a hailstorm of glass splinters and metal. I coughed blood as I lay on my back, stunned by that one single blow.

Retreat, lowly one.

I gave a start. That voice…it seemed to come from the very vestiges of my mind.

Someone had grabbed my shoulders, and was shaking me. I was numb to all sound.

"Mister! Wake up, wake up!"

My hazy vision was piecing together stray fragments of reality, albeit very slowly.

"Mister you HAVE to wake up!"

I looked at a girl, a plus. Her smooth face was smacked with fear and terror. At the center of her lime green vest, her chain hung loosely. All sound suddenly returned, just then.

"Wake up!" I sat up with a start, as she helped me to my feet. The yelling, the howling, the commands, the Shinigami. Usagi! She suddenly appeared behind the plus, roughly taking her arm.

"Haru, please don't be so careless! We need to get her out of here! Kaito and Isana will fall anytime!"

Trivial...

"Aargh!" I yelled, in a desperate attempt to drown out that voice. There was a throbbing pain in my head now.

Sound and light were like senses which were layered over this pain. The girl was sobbing.

"Haru! What ARE you doing?! We cannot afford to stay here any longer!" Usagi's voice was clear, frantic.

My eyes, however, had locked on to the crater in the side of the apartment, where a black shadow was slowly lengthening.

"Please! Please get me out of here mister! Ma'am! I've been seeing that shadow for a while now, what is it...it keeps extending, I don't know I don't-" the plus was wailing, in absolute terror. And with good reason.

Rin Usagi turned around, facing the window, to see the mask of what was horrifyingly obvious: A Menos Grande.

My stupor simply dissolved into sheer disbelief. The capacity to think was hammered to pieces. Usagi was grabbing my hakama, even as the Menos let out a bloodcurdling cry, sending an enormous amount of Reiatsu surging through the tiny room flattening all of our exhausted presences.

The stairs were blurring as she tried flash stepping, and we crashed further downstairs in a heap of limbs. The Menos' foot then shook the foundations of the building, decimating the wall and hitting Rin in her back as she protectively crouched over the Plus, sending them flying further backwards. I shakily stood up, and held my sword aloft, as the open column of the building was filled with the presence of the Menos, whose red eyes were menacingly gleaming. Its maw slowly opened, and the voice was back in my head, maddening.

Run, and hide.

I can't! I have to...

Protect them? Laughable. You cannot.

I may not be able to...but I have to! It's my duty!

Duty. Your only duty is to survive, for you cannot fulfil anything else. You don't have the power to decide what your duty should be. But I do...

This was it, I realised. My Zanpakuto. It was calling out to me, and I had to learn its name!

"Then give me power! Tell me your name!"

Mongrel. You will not get the power you do not deserve. You are but a candle, trying to shine as brightly as the sun.

The Menos was gathering energy in its mouth, and red particulates were fusing to create an beam. Cero.

"I'll do anything, I promise! Just lend me your power!"

I will not. Run, like the mongrel you are, and perhaps you may get a chance where you can use my strength. Don't, and get erased forever.

I looked back. My head had cleaved in two with the pain, and the intensity of the culminated experience. It was all happening too simultaneously.

Rin's face was full of anticipation. Words seemed to have left her mouth, as she tiredly let the plus slide down next to her, who was incoherently mumbling.

"Save me, please, I beg you, please-"

A sudden overwhelming force began to take hold of me.

Leave them.

My nameless blade was still in my hand. Its commands were irrefutable.

What is important will change. Power, is the only constant. A constant you do not possess.

Deafening, maddening. I raised my hand and pointed it at the ramshackle door to my left. The exit.

"Hado #01: Sho."

The door splintered with the simple Kido, as my legs began moving toward the little sliver of light, away, away. Away from them, away from the Menos. Escape was my only thought.

One last look at Rin's face was like seeing a spectrum of the emotional band. Surprise. Evaluation. Realisation. Horror. Fear. Loathing. Resignation.

My action to flee was accompanied by me anticipating a blast which never came, even as I was safely behind the door, weaving my way through the other rooms.

Better, mongrel. Much better. Maybe now you will hear my name.

Rin Usagi, Shinōreijutsuin, Year 02 Student.

Murakami was gone. The Plus crouched in my arms, as the Menos was momentarily distracted from its Cero charge. Isana and Kaito. They were probably alive. The Cero was fired on the floor above, and as the Menos' head reeled downwards, it began its deadly arc towards us. The already ramshackle building was being torn apart. The events which had just taken place were all being numbed due to Murakami's cowardice. He had simply run, without a warning, without so much as a little hint as to his fear. The plus then did something alarming. She looked at me, held my shoulders, and whispered a little "thank you" in my ears, before roughly shoving me away, three feet from her. The next second saw a brilliant red flash, as the Cero incinerated her completely. My eyes were frozen in time, simply remembering that face, even as instructor Kawana's voice was heard.

"Bakudo #63: Sajou Sabaku!"

I closed my eyes, even as that scene would haunt me for many more nights to come.

Murakami, Shinoreijutsuin, Year 02 Student

I still didn't know the extent of what I had done. The sky ballooned up, and took a deep breath before weeping. Lightning struck in tandem, and soon, the debris all around us was covered in rivulets of water, sweat and blood. My sword had told me its name even as I fled, but I did not know what that entailed. More power? Maybe. But what was power if it didn't augment voluntary action? What was strength if I simply lacked the conviction to exact it?

She was silent, my sword was. But as Usagi and the rest were carried out, unconscious, something had broken irreparably. I would never be able to perhaps salvage the sliver of love I may have received. Nor would I have the same camaraderie. My act of cowardice would be stark, and amplified. In Memoriam, I would suffer, as the rain drenched me completely.