Chapter 10 ALONE
Hermione lost track of the time she spent in the cell after she was dragged down into the dungeons. She could still clearly hear Lucius' voice and feel his arm on her waist. But he wasn't with her anymore. She was alone.
She tried to ignore the feeling of betrayal. It was ridiculous. Why would she feel betrayed? Only a person you trust could betray you. And she never trusted Lucius. But then why did she feel so hurt, so unprotected without him. It wasn't as if her life had been perfect when she was with him. He was a sadist, a murderer, a Death Eater.
Hermione took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. It was useless. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the shivering. Maybe it was because of the fear and anticipation or maybe because of the coldness in the cell. It was much colder than in Lucius' bedroom.
After Lucius left, Dolohov just dragged her into a cell, saying nothing to her. Hermione didn't struggle, she was too much in shock to put up a fight. A small part of her was hoping that it was all just another test, but with each passing second it became clear to her that it was real. Lucius really handed her to Dolohov. He had said it was only for a few days, but could she really believe him? What if he got tired of her and he decided to give her to someone else?
Shaking her head, she quickly pushed that thought aside. It was impossible that Lucius would grown tired of her. He hated her, he loathed her and his mission in life was to make her suffer. He had said it himself.
Rubbing her stomach, she tried to ease the pain and the grumbling that was coming from it. It worried her how would she get water. At the Malfoy Manor she could drink water from bathroom, but there were no pipes in the cell she was currently in.
Still, Hermione knew that food and water were her last problem.
She was still in shock and was unable to form tears. Beside fear, she could feel no other emotion.
When she heard the door open, she quickly pulled herself up. It was a reflex by now. Lucius always demanded from her that she stood up when he was talking to her.
Using the wall behind her as a support, she tried to steady her breathing as she waited for something to happen.
"You seem to have more bruises than the last time I saw you," Dolohov's voice cut through the silence, "I never saw Lucius as the violent type."
Hermione barely prevented laughter to escape from her lips. All Lucius had ever done to her was violent.
"He always seemed to be above us. More sophisticated, more civil than the rest of us. Don't you agree?" Dolohov asked.
Hermione wondered if she should say something. With Lucius she knew when it was wise to stay silent, but she didn't know Dolohov. Did he expect her to answer to his questions?
Finally, she decided to take a risk. She was still a Gryffindor after all. She gathered her courage and answered:"He's nothing more than an evil Death Eater."
Dolohov laughed at that:"I like you opinion. It was about time someone noticed how he's no better than the rest of us."
Was that jealousy she noticed in Dolohov's voice? Hermione wondered if maybe Lucius and Dolohov weren't such good friends as she thought. Was there rivalry between them?
"I always despised the way he carried himself."
Question answered. But knowing that Lucius and Dolohov were somehow enemies, rather that friends didn't calm Hermione. If anything, it just gave her a strange feeling of nervousness.
She could hear Dolohov slowly approaching her and she tried to change the subject.
"Where did Lucius go? What was so important?" she asked quietly, not really expecting to hear the answer.
It surprised her when she heard Dolohov talk:"Troubles with some survivors. They formed a resistance and organized an attack," he explained, then sneered," Fools."
That news left Hermione speechless. She didn't know how she should feel about it. Hope, because there were still people who fought against Voldemort and Death Eaters? Or sadness, because there was no possibility they could change anything with their attacks? Especially now, when Lucius was sent to stop them. Hermione knew the survivors had no chance of winning or even surviving. And it shocked her how easily she accepted that news. Still, how could she be sure the survivors would lose ina fight? What had happened to her in the last few days that caused her to see Lucius as indestructible? He was a human as well. He could be easily killed with a curse. He wasn't indestructible. But when Hermione realized that Lucius could also be killed, fear started to build inside of her. Fear for him. She didn't want him to die, because that would mean she's be left with Dolohov for the rest of her life. Suddenly she remembered her first day at the Malfoy Manor when Lucius told her what would happen if she tried to harm him in his sleep.
'If anything happens to me, I have arranged everything so you would fall into the arms of the cruelest Death Eaters.'
Hermione almost choked on her fear as images if her existence with Dolohov filled her mind.
"Cat got your tongue?" Dolohov asked, amused.
Hermione just shook her head, trying to get those horrible images out of her mind. She hated herself for not wanting Lucius to die. It was selfish and despicable, but Hermione couldn't force her mind to think otherwise.
"Are you mute as well?"
Hermione kept her mouth shut. Maybe if she ignored him, he would go away? But that was only wishful thinking. Lucius never left her alone, why would Dolohov?
"You don't have to talk," he said calmly, "In fact, I would rather hear you screaming."
Something in his voice sent shivers down her body. It wasn't hate or rage in his tone, but something else. Whenever Lucius talked to her, Hermione could sense anger and hate from him. But with Dolohov was different. He had no real reason to hate her, so the only reason he had for torturing her was boredom and pleasure.
In a second he was next to her, breathing into her face. Hermione tried to move away from him, but he pressed himself against her, forcing her into the wall.
"Lucius gave me strict instructions on how to handle you. But I don't think he would mind if we have a little fun."
Her blood literally ran cold at that sentence. Her eyes widened in horror and she immediately tried to sprint away, but Dolohov was already grabbing her wrist.
She knew in the back of her mind she shouldn't fight, she shouldn't struggle, but her instincts were too great.
She thrashed about, trying to free herself. Where was Lucius? Why did he leave her? This was wrong, all wrong. She was wrong.
"If you're a screamer- feel free," he drawled.
He grabbed her more firmly around the waist, pressing her back into him and Hermione almost threw up as she felt his disgusting excuse for manhood rapidly hardening against her.
She kicked her legs, twisted in his arms, anything to free herself. But she was quickly losing what strength she had left.
Dolohov was chuckling:"Calm down, pet. I'm not going to hurt you," then he added in a darker tone,"I'm not allowed to."
Hermione didn't have the time to think about his last sentence. She was too frightened for that. She used the last of her strength to kick one final time, and got no where. Finally she went limp and Dolohov giggled madly:"Lost your fight already? Good. We won't have as many problems then, will we?"
She was turned around and was now facing the wall. Her back was resting on Dolohov's chest and they were so close, she could feel his heart beating.
It was wrong to not fight and let him do what he wanted, but Hermione had no strength left.
She felt Dolohov's hand on her stomach and all she wanted was to take a hot bath to clean herself of his disgusting scent and touch. Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, his hand started to move upwards. Hermione recognized that time as the time to panic.
She started struggling against his grip, feeling nauseated with his breath on her bare neck. At that moment she realized that even Lucius would be preferable, at least he wasn't repulsive.
When his hand reached her breast, Hermione couldn't help but to cry out. She could feel all blood go straight into her head, making her blush.
"If only Lucius could see us now. What would he say if he saw me touching his possession?"
His fingers tightened on her breast. Hermione bit her lip hard and after a second she could taste blood in her mouth.
"I could only imagine his face," Dolohov continued, not removing his hand,"I wonder why is he so protective of you."
Hermione couldn't believe Dolohov's words. He couldn't be more wrong. Lucius protective?
"He made it clear to me that he wants you all for himself. Maybe I'm weak, but I can't resist things when they're under my nose. In my care."
His next action made Hermione cry out in shock. She felt slight pain in her neck and realized he was biting her. Never in her life had she been bitten before. Lucius would never bite her. He would rather die that lower himself enough to touch her skin that way. Hermione couldn't understand why she compared Dolohov's actions to Lucius'. She didn't want to think of Luicus, but he was always on her mind.
Dolohov's mouth moved to her ear as he whispered:"I see Lucius thought you discipline. Maybe even too well."
His hand moved from her breast up to her mouth, but the moment his fingers touched her lips, Hermione didn't lose her time with thinking as she bit down hard, making him jerk his hand away from her.
"I do not tolerate disobedience, Mudblood, but I do love the sound of a woman screaming," he hissed.
Suddenly he turned her around so that she was facing him.
"I wonder what has Lucius done to you to make you so submissive," Dolohov wondered quietly,"Has he had you already?"
Hermione forced the words through her teeth:"Screw you."
She didn't get the reaction she was hoping for. She wished to annoy him at least, but all he did was let out a small laugh.
"You still have fire in you. I like that," he said, excitement clear in his voice.
The next thing she knew were his lips pressed tightly against hers. Hermione gasped in surprise, but before she had the chance to bite him again, he released her mouth and laughed:"Did Lucius do something like that to you? Has he kissed you?"
Hermione felt sickness slowly overtaking her body at the taste of Dolohov on her lips. She fought back the urge to throw up, knowing it probably wasn't a good idea. She didn't know why she even chose to answer, but her voice was strong and controlled:"No. Lucius is more sophisticated than that."
A small part of her believed that. Lucius would never touch her just because of his pleasure. How could he when she disgusted him? Hermione was positive he would never kiss her and she was grateful for that.
Dolohov's voice was colder now. All the playfulness disappeared from it as he spoke:"Perhaps it escaped your notice, but I am no Lucius. And he is not here."
"But...he-he doesn't like when others touch me," Hermione hoped he would believe her.
"As I said before- he is not here."
"He will find out."
Again Dolohov's hands were on her waist, slowly moving up as if he was teasing her:"How will he find out?"
Hermione's body stiffened, but she forced her voice to sound threatening:"If you touch me, I'll..." she spat the words at him, but then realized that she didn't know what to say. What could she possibly threaten him with to make him stop?
She remained silent and felt tears form in her eyes at her helplessness. It was the first time since they lost the war that she seriously considered killing herself.
"Why so quiet?" Dolohov asked with false disappointment,"Slap me, scratch me, scream, cry, beg me to stop; anything. Just fight me. I like it when they fight."
Before Dolohov's hands again touched the spot she didn't wish to be touched, Hermione screamed at him:"I'll tell Lucius!"
At her surprise that made him stop immediately, his hands not moving from stomach. This time he didn't laugh at her. His silence surprised Hermione, because she didn't think that her threat would have any serious effect.
When he finally spoke, it wasn't what Hermione expected to hear. She was fully prepared to hear Dolohov say that Lucius couldn't care less what happened to her or that Lucius had given him permission to do with her what he wanted.
She could sense slight fear in Dolohov's voice as he sneered:"Lucius will never find out."
"He will," Hermione repeated,"I'll tell him and he will make you pay."
She herself didn't believe her own words, but she hoped she would be able to convince him.
Her threat seemed to anger him, because he slapped her across the face and the force of it sent her to the floor. It hurt, but not as nearly as much as when Lucius hit her.
"You will not threaten me," he growled, then kicked her in the stomach, making it almost impossible to breath. Hermione gasped, trying to inhale as much air as possible, but every time her chest moved it felt like knives were ripping through her stomach.
"I will do with you as I please. You better remember that."
The next half an hour was excruciating. When he had first ripped off her robes, she had tried to struggle, which resulted in a bout of punches and kicks. But at least her threat seemed to have worked, because he didn't try anything with her anymore. In all her pain and distress Hermione still managed to think straight and she concluded that he had probably stripped her of her robes to humiliate her. She was never in her life humiliated like that. Not even her mother had seen her without her clothes since she was a little. And not even Lucius demanded from her to take her clothes off just so he could stare at her. He had seen her naked, though. When she was forced to take a bath she had to stand in front of him, but that lasted only for a few seconds.
But Dolohov was more perverted. Hermione knew he was staring at her body, because he was making comments and she was glad she couldn't see anything. The sight of Dolohov and the expression on his face would without doubt make her sick. She tried to ignore his comments about how shy she was as he noticed her shaking in discomfort and shame. At least he wasn't allowed to do anything more than that unless he wanted to Lucius' rage to fall upon him. That fact was still unclear to Hermione. Judging by Dolohov's behaviour, he and Lucius had a conversation about what he was allowed to do to her. It confused Hermione why would Lucius forbid Dolohov to have his way with her. That question was constantly in her mind as she recieved slaps and hits. The pain was unbelievable. The beating seemed to last for hours, but Hermione never screamed. She did cry out quietly, but never more than that. She was humiliated more than she could handle already and didn't want to give Dolohov the satisfaction of knowing he has broken her. She could hear his insults, but she decided to ignore them.
And that seemed to just annoy him even more as he pulled her up from the floor just to throw her across the cell. Hermione stumbled in the darkness and tripped over something, causing her to hit the floor again. Her head banged against the stone, sending shock-waves of pain through her body.
And just as she thought she would pass out, everything went silent. Dolohov's rapid breathing was all she could hear. It seemed strange to her why she couldn't hear her own breathing, but she didn't have the strength to think about it. Her eyes were closed shut and at least Dolohov didn't demand from her to keep them open all the time as Lucius did. Lucius probably enjoyed her pain, he wanted to see and feel the suffering through her eyes. But Dolohov didn't care for that. All he wanted was to take his anger out on someone. His motives for hurting her weren't as deep as Lucius'. At first Hermione thought that that made him less dangerous than Lucius, but she couldn't be more wrong.
Lucius was smart. He knew how far could he go before she would pass out and with him Hermione at least was certain of one thing - he would never go to such extremes as to kill her and he would never let her die. But Dolohov seemed to be completely lost in his rage and he could kill her by accident.
Finally silence was shattered by Dolohov's voice:"I hope you liked your first day here. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some things I have to do. But don't worry. I will find some new ways to make you scream tomorrow. I have a feeling you won't be so stubborn."
Hermione could hear him walk out of the cell and close the door behind him. He didn't even bother locking him. Maybe he was so stupid that he forgot, or maybe he realized that she was unable to even move, let alone stand up and try to escape.
*
The pain, the smell, the ache, the dark, the revolting feeling of being at the mercy of another, the helplessness… that must be what Hell felt like.
Because Hermione knew she was no longer alive. She had to be dead. It must had happened sometime in the cell.
Dolohov came to her at his every opportunity, and rarely left her alone. He brought no food, no water; only himself. He gave her no rest, no healing; only suffering, upon suffering, pain and more pain.
The third day Hermione lost her will to live, her will to fight. In her free time she wondered where Lucius was. Had something happened to him? That worried her more that it should. A lot of things had changed. She no longer dreamed of the world where Voldemort would be defeated, because she knew that wasn't an option anymore. She had to face the reality and learn to live with it. Lucius was the one in her dreams now. She wished he would come for her, rescue her, even if that meant living with him for the rest of her life. But with each day that passed her wish for Lucius' return weakened. She was broken now, being rescued wouldn't helped anyways. It wasn't just physical pain, but mental as well.
She learned that Dolohov liked to talk a lot. In between punches he would insult her, insult Lucius, describe what he would do to her if she wasn't under Lucius protection. That was the word he used.
Even though she was completely exhausted and on the edge of passing out Hermione laughed when Dolohov said that to her. Protection? She was under Lucius' protection?
At first she thought she had heard it wrong. How was possible she was under anyone's protection? She was on the ground, naked, bleeding, shaking, dying. And how could she be under Lucius' protection? He was the one who handed her to Dolohov without having second thoughts.
Her laugh only caused Dolohov to hit her harder, but she was already used to it. She never screamed though. No matter how hard he tried to get some kind of reaction from her. Uncontrollable crying was all he could get from her. And that happened on the second day, but it wasn't because of the pain he inflicted upon her.
It was because of his words that Hermione couldn't hold the tears back.
"Why won't you scream? You won't prove anything with your stubbornness," then he added with clear pleasure in his voice,"He screamed. That Weasley boy."
Hermione almost choked on her tears as she was forced to listen to Dolohov.
"You should see what Lucius did to him. And he wasn't as brave as you are trying to be. He screamed. His bones were breaking under Lucius' curse and his skin was burning," he chuckled, before continuing:"And he screamed and cried. It was really pathetic to even watch."
"Shut up!" Hermione yelled, covering her ears in an attempt to block out the words that were coming from Dolohov.
But as if he didn't hear her, he continued:"And the-boy-who-lived was nothing better. Pathetic child. He begged for his life while the Dark Lord tortured him."
Hermione wished she could die at that moment. She wished she could simply stop breathing and die.
The third day she was like a corpse. When Dolohov came to her, she didn't even flinch. She was numb, but that didn't prevent Dolohov from enjoying his torture. This time he didn't use his hands, his wand did all the torturing. Hermione had forgotten how much pain a Cruciatus curse can cause. Dolohov reminded her. She once heard that a person can completely lose their mind if kept under the Cruciatus curse for longer that a few minutes. It seemed that Dolohov knew that as well, because he lifted the curse off of her just when she started to hallucinate.
She could hear his laughter, even through her tireless crying, and it became ingrained into her mind. His laughter. That was the only thing in her mind. That and Lucius. It was bizarre how she kept thinking about him, wondering where he was, comparing him to Dolohov....wishing he would come for her.
Dolohov's visits were shorter with each passing day. He was probably bored with Hermione's reactions and his torture techniques. He had beaten her, insulted her, stripped her, tortured her with Cruciatus. He was slowly becoming bored.
The forth day Hermione knew something has changed. The moment she heard him walk into her cell, she knew he had came up with something new. She concluded that from his confident walk. His boots were clicking beneath him and Hermione realized he was walking slowly as if he was watching her, observing her. As a predator observes it's prey.
When he finally spoke it just convinced Hermione that something had changed.
"I know you will agree with me that all this torture has became a bit boring. And I came up with something new."
Hermione barely blinked at his statement, not showing worry.
But then she felt him crawl on top of her and her mind recognized the danger. She didn't struggle, she was too tired for that.
"I think I found a way for us to have fun without Lucius knowing."
"I will tell him," Hermione repeated emotionless. She felt like a robot, always repeating the same thing, always getting the same reaction from him.
But this time her threat didn't have the effect it should. Dolohov didn't get off of her as she expected him to. He just laughed in her face and Hermione's blood ran cold at that.
"You won't be able to tell him if you don't remember, pet."
Then she understood everything. But before she had a chance to say anything, he clamped his hand tight over her mouth.
"Shh, pet. It's me talking at the moment," he then let out a satisfied sigh:"If I Obliviate you, then you won't be able to tell Lucius anything about our times together."
Hermione shook her head and finally he removed his hand from her mouth.
"Do you have something to say?" he asked, interested.
"H-he will know. He's not stupid. How do you think h-he won't be able to tell?" Hermione babbled, not able to stop the words from her mouth.
"Even if he does notice something, when he would ask you, you wouldn't be able to tell him anything, because you wouldn't remember," he drawled slowly, anticipation clear in his voice.
Absolute fear was rising inside Hermione and it made it impossible to talk. Even if she could talk, there was nothing she could say. What threat could she use against him now?
She gasped in surprise when she was pulled up from the ground and forced against the wall.
"This is my favourite position. I hope you don't mind," he whispered and then forced his mouth onto hers. It caught Hermione by surprise and she didn't even have the time to fight back.
After a second he pulled back to look at her:"You remember when we were at the Malfoy Manor and you spat into my face? Well, I dreamed of doing this with you ever since that."
His tall form seemed to crush her as he forced her onto the wall. Hermione felt like everything was spinning around her. Her legs couldn't hold her up anymore. She was exhausted, starved and dehydrated. Her body didn't feel like hers anymore. Unconsciousness was only a matter of time and Hermione would welcome it with open arms.
Then something happened that made Hermione think she had gone insane. She heard his voice. She couldn't hear it clearly. It was as if it was coming from far away, like she only heard it in her head, imagined it.
"Antonin, please do explain to me what you're doing."
She wondered what was wrong with her. What had Lucius done to her to make her so dependant on him? It was completely bizarre that she would imagine his voice when she was in danger and almost on the edge of death.
The next thing she knew was the cold ground beneath her as Dolohov let go of her. Her knees hit the floor painfully, but she didn't have the time to think about the reason why Dolohov released her as she closed her eyes, allowing unconsciousness to take her into its hold.
Thanks for reviews! They really mean a lot to me. I hope you didn't miss Lucius too much in this chapter, but it had to be done. He will be in the next chapter a lot more. Please, review! :)