Time. Everything is it about time. The right words that are spoken at the right time could save everything. But the right words that are spoken too late or too early could change nothing or could ruin it all.
I can find myself in both of these situations. Sometimes, I think it's too early, and I am right but the words will be spoken anyway.
But sometimes, I think it's too late, and I decide to tell them, those unspoken words, and there are two things that could happen:
The first one is when I will say what I wanted to say and change nothing.
The second one is when I decide that I should give up, that the person who I should say the words will be happy without me, so those words are left unsaid. I found myself in this situation in this moment.
Even so, there is a third possibility, in which I didn't found myself and it is a little sad when I think about it.
This possibility has many branches.
Like deciding to shut up, and to let that person to say those words, but I will say them later, because I can explain that I think that is too early.
Or like saying those unsaid words even if it's too late, and if that could really happen, it would change it all.
Or like saying those words in the perfect moment, not too early or not too late, or even never.
But as I said, this third possibility, this branch has never happened to me.
But that doesn't mean that even if it's too early, or too late, or unsaid for the rest of my life.
That doesn't changes how I feel, not even a minute, not even a second, not even a millimeter, no, not at all.
7 Minutes in Love
"What do you mean that I came 7 minutes too late?"
He walks away from me, like I said nothing.
Tears had formed in my eyes and I told myself that I must not cry. Even so, the tears won't disappear.
"Neji! Talk to me!"
I wanted to go after him, but Shikamaru has grabbed my shoulder just when I was about to run after him.
"Let me go."
He sighs and says: "I can't."
"Why?"
"Because Neji can't tell you, but I can"
"To tell me what? What is happening?"
"Neji is…"
"Neji is?"
I felt that my heart stopped beating, I know that I don't breathe in the time that he keeps me waiting, with the tension that kills me.
"Neji is moving to Canada. I am sorry."
Did you ever felt that you are in a room, filled with people, and you are in the middle of it, and you feel surrounded by darkness, like no one is there, like no one talks to you, is like a firework that has exploded behind your back and you can see with the end of your eye, the firework's final dust falling at your bare feet. That is my heart falling down and with a final spark; it dies in her dust.
"Gaara?"
"Why?"
I cry. I can't remember the last time I cried, but this time it hurts too much. I feel a large hole in my chest that continues to beat, that covers my heart, a pressure that is beyond any synonymous which I could find in this world for the word: pain.
"His family moves there, so he has to move there too."
I can't do anything about it. I think that this fact horrified me the most.
Shikamaru's hand that is on my shoulder, somehow comforting, I put my hand on his wrist and I refused it. And I ran into Naruto's room and I opened the door until it touched the other wall.
I looked into the messy room, and I had found Neji on a wall, sitting on the floor, with his knees up and his back and head resting against the wall. I closed the door.
I go to him, though nobody is here, everybody is in the living room.
I sit myself in front of him and I let the tears fall down once again but this time staring in his eyes.
"I don't want you to go…"
"I am sorry."
"I don't want you to go! I don't…"
I yelled and I cried and he hugged me and told me he is sorry until I calmed down and I stopped crying, my eyes are now dry.
"Do you feel better?"
"No."
"I like that you are so sincere."
"You can't stay here, no?"
"I didn't ask them."
"Why not?"
"Because from the moment they told me, I ran out of the house and I came to Naruto."
"Why did you come to Naruto?"
"Because I don't know where you live."
I begun to laugh, even if I am still in his arms, but the tears still made an appearance, but this small laugh is the best I can do now.
"That was a waste."
"You tell me."He began laughing a little with me, until he took my chin up and kissed me innocently.
When he finished, I said something that I never thought I would ever say:
"I want more."
I couldn't stop myself in that moment; I've put myself over him and I began to kiss him passionately.
His head hit hard against the wall and I furiously pull my own body closer to him, without thinking further.
When we finished the kiss, looking at each other, is like we have to ask one thousand questions but we don't ask anything instead, we stay there, and the silence asks.
But he broke the silence and I was a little grateful that I didn't have to do that.
"How much do you want?"
I felt a little confused just for a minute, but in the end I got what he said. I couldn't believe that I had said my thoughts out loud and a thought that included 'I want more' and then I jumped him.
But the fact that he pulls a thin rope to the maximum is something that it should probably be expected from Neji but what should I say now?
"I am not sure how much I want, but how much do you want?"
It is the truth, even if I am a little afraid of his answer and I am almost 100 percent sure that I know it.
"I want you."
"I want you too, but you have to go to Canada."
I think that I almost forgot, or at least, I almost let that thought away for a second when I kissed him, but the pain came back with full strength, ready to pull my heart out completely.
"Come with me."
"Where?"
It should be obvious, but my mouth moved faster than my brain, though I think this is the first or the second time, this happened to me.
"In Canada."
"But how?"
"I could talk to my parents."
After considering this. In the next three minutes, he got his phone from the living room, where everybody looked confused about what is happening but he came back where he has left me, on the floor, with my back against the wall, and he called his mother.
"Hey, I…"
"Where are you? Why didn't you answered when I called you? And why did you run off of the house when I told you that we will move? If you haven't made a sign, I would have announced the police tomorrow!"
"I am sorry."
"...You are sorry?"
"Yes."
Neji has put the conversation on the speaker, so I can hear everything, and I was expecting that they will begin to yell again after he said he is sorry, but the silence took the word again. Until his mother spoke again.
"You never said that you are sorry until now."
This was new; he said that he is sorry to me for a hundred times. Then it hit me. I'm the only one whom he ever told he is sorry, and now he tells his mom that he is sorry because of me? He has never apologized before for somebody else?
"Neji, what happened?"
"I ran off because I wanted to see somebody that I want to come with us."
"Someone?"
"Yes, his name is Sabaku no Gaara and I want him to come with us."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to come, if he won't come."
"But…His parents?"
"He doesn't have parents."
I stood there staring at Neji with wide opened eyes. How does he know that I don't have parents?
"What age is he?"
"Eighteen"
"Neji, what is this boy for you?"
He begun to look annoyed and I can tell that he doesn't enjoy so much her questions.
"More than you can think."
"Neji, this is …"
He covered the speaker with his hand and then he looked at me.
"I am an orphan, adopt me."
"What?"
"If I tell her what you mean to me, she will throw me out of that house, she will probably erase my name from her testament too, but I need to know if I can live with you."
I stood there staring at him. But in the end I decided: Why not?
"Yes."
He kissed me and then took his hand from the speaker of the phone.
"Neji?"
"Are you listening? Mom?"
"Yes. And you didn't…"
"Answered your question. I will do that now. Sabaku no Gaara is my boyfriend, I am in love with him for years and now I can say that I love him and that he loves me too. So, we can take him with us?"
"That is…"
"Unacceptable?"
"Neji, this is not how I had raised you, he is a boy and more than that, he has no parents, and you two do not have a future. I told you that in Canada, you will study and you will have a great future and…"
"I don't want to have your future, mom, I don't care about money and he didn't either, and that is why I've meant more for him than you, money may pay the bills but the heart can't be bribed, money are nothing more than paper. You believed that too before dad died, but now, you think you can solve everything with a paper."
I just stood there, listening, couldn't believe what I hear, the woman stood silent too.
"So, tell me mom, your answer."
"You are not my son."
He smiled, and then he talked with her again.
"I never was, you are not my mom."
He put his hand against the wall and he looked at the ceiling. The woman closed the call after she heard Neji's response.
"So, what do you say? Do you receive orphans that have 19 years?"
"She isn't your mom?"
"Nope. My father died when I was little. And this woman is my mom's sister."
"How...?"
"Well, they are twins actually, my mom had committed suicide and my father was rich before he died and in his testament he let all the money to her wife and then to me, so she took the opportunity and she pretended to be my mother so the fortune is hers and only hers until she dies . She even has a boyfriend now. I heard them talking about marriage and things like that. She just wants his money; she said to wait, because I might not be prepared to have a new 'father figure'."
He laughed again. But I couldn't.
"And how did you found out?"
"Pretty easy. My father died when I was 5, I think. And I don't really know when my mother has 'disappeared' and she replaced her but every time I asked her about the life before dad has died, she would say that we shouldn't talk about that or that it is painful or many other excuses. It got me thinking and then I begun searching for lists of my family members, and I found out that my mother had a twin sister, and I even found a photo, she has a mole on her neck on the right part, and my mother doesn't. I don't know if that is the only difference but…"
He suddenly stopped talking when he looked at me.
"Why are you crying?"
"This is so sad, and not to mention, you do not think? You are homeless now, think about it a little!"
"No, I'm not. I have you, now. That is all that I need. Don't you agree?"
He hesitated to touch me and looked attentive at me, waiting for an answer.
"Of course, stupid."
I hit him in the head, as hard as I could. He even thought that I would say no after all this.
"What have I've done?"
"Because you…"
My mouth can't make sounds, at least not normal sounds, because of his sweet kiss. I can't really complain about this, can I?
After that night, he went to his house, by himself, he said that he doesn't wants his mother to do something to me ,he wouldn't accept that, so now I stay in my apartment and I stare at the clock, a little worried.
Where is he? He is gone for more than an hour, I know that his house is far, and that he has to pack and all those things but is weird to sit here waiting.
Why wasn't I more insistent? I wanted to go with him.
I feel like a wife with no job, which waits for his husband to come home.
How could I be a wife? I'm not a woman.
'Neji, this is not how I had raised you, he is a boy and more than that, he has no parents, and you two do not have a future. I told you that in Canada, you will study and you will have a great future.'
Even if she isn't his mom, and even if what she did was awful, what if she is right?
Neji moves with me, this is not something that I should think about.
I rose up from my place, as I heard the door ringing.
"You finally came?"
"You wanted me to come?"
I looked at the annoying woman with an eyebrow raised.
"I confused you with someone else." I wanted to close the door in her face, but something stopped me.
"Hey, you live in Canada no?"
"Yes, of course, I told you that you can come with me and…"
"I can't, but I have a favor to ask you."
Neji has come back after another hour of torture for my head; I stared at the clock one whole hour.
"I am home." He said that and smiled at me.
"Wel…" And I smiled too, until I saw what was behind him.
I stared at huge boxes, he is here and two other men carrying, that are probably, taxi drivers.
"I told you to bring just the necessary stuff, the whole house is not necessary!"
"Relax, mostly of them are just books and clothes."
He walked until he was in front of me and he kissed my lips still smiling.
"Even if you tell me to relax, this isn't..."
This time he fully kissed me, and I got the hint of shutting up, but the two men's are staring at us, blushing.
I blushed too and I hit Neji hard as I pulled away from his kiss.
"Stupid Neji!"
After they brought all the huge boxes in my small apartment, and after we thanked the taxi drivers, and paying them a little, I and Neji are now on the couch, we are exhausted.
"I told you, just necessary stuff."
"I brought just the necessary stuff."
"It can't be!"
I pointed my finger at the huge overfilled boxes.
"I saw her."
"What she told you?"
"Not much. She stood at the kitchen table, she looks horrible, I never saw her in that state, and when I told her goodbye, she told me to get out."
"I am sorry."
I embraced him with all of my strength. This is all that I can do. I don't know what to do in a situation like this.
"You don't have to be sorry. I'm not sorry about this. But I never saw her like that, her makeup dried because she cried and her hair looked awful, and she wasn't even dressed up, and she should have been at work, she never misses from work, even if someone dies, she…"
"Do you want to go back?"
That was the most horrible question I could have asked him, but it just escaped, this is the only thing that I want to know.
"No, I want to stay here with you."
I hugged him again and in the end, we fell asleep on the couch.
When we woke up, some hours later, the night had come, and I wanted to make a bath and so I did, but the problem is that he wants to make his bath with me.
"No way!"
"Why not?"
"Because…"
I can't find any reason too serious.
"Because?"
"Because…" I don't know what to say.
He smiled saying this:
"Because you want this too much?"
I answered quickly: "No!"
I slapped the bathroom door in his face, and then I put myself in the warm water after taking off all of my clothes.
I've been a little harsh? Why do I feel guilty?
I stood there some seconds, and the pain didn't go away. So I did the hard part.
I got out of the bath, I put a towel around my waist and got out of the bathroom, I had spotted him standing on the couch and I put myself in front of him, he just stood there staring at me.
"Because I will feel embarrassed, but I would rather feel embarrassed than to feel angry with myself, because I don't have the courage to do a bath with you."
This isn't about courage even if it is when I think about the embarrassing part but even so, he got up and he hugged me, even if I am half naked, and then he took my hand and we walked in the bathroom.
I sit on the restroom cover and I look at him, he takes off his clothes. How could I be into such situation? Well, he said that he wants me to look at him, so I won't be embarrassed anymore because of such things.
But it doesn't helps at all. The bathroom has so much steam that is making my breathing heavy, and I stare at him and he is half naked, it drives me mad, my face is red, and I want so bad to look away but I can't. Not because he doesn't lets me but because I just can't.
He finished. He came to me, took my hand, he rose me up from where I stood, he sits himself in my place, and talked to me.
"Your turn."
What I have on me is a towel, and even if he is naked in front of me and looks like he doesn't cares, I care.
I can't do this.
My face is even redder than it was before, if that can be possible and I look at him, and he waits for me to do it.
This is over me. I'm too much of a coward in these things. Is just too much for me.
"Do you want me to help you?"
"No."
I said it as fast as I heard his sentence. Why? I don't really know but I don't plan to take this towel off of me anytime soon.
"Well?"
"I can't."
He sighs and then he rose up, took my hand again and he helped me sit in the bathroom, with the towel still on me.
"I won't force you to do something that you don't want to do, but you have to get rid of this shame somehow, even if it's cute sometimes."
"Cute?"
"Well, yeah, when your face is red and you can't say a whole sentence."
"That is not cute."
"For me it is."
We made our bath, even if he was naked, and I tried hard to don't look at anything besides his face and I succeed somehow, and we got out of the bathroom, and we put clean clothes on us, and now we are under the blankets, yawing.
"Are you tired?"
He asks me like I've stood in bed all day long. Even if I did stayed in this apartment all day, but that doesn't mean that I am not tired.
"Of course. You're not tired?"
"I am."
"Then sleep."
I said that, and I turned my body somehow that my back is facing his face; I know that I am a little odd today, but why doesn't he sleeps if he is tired?
"Ne…"
He embraced me from behind and he stood like that, with his head on the back of my neck, breathing slowly on my skin.
'This won't help me sleep at all!' I thought, but I said nothing.
After all, we woke up pretty early in the morning, correction, he woke up, and I was already awake.
He stretches and yawns in the same time, he seems pleased.
"I slept really well, you too?"
I looked at him ironical and with tired eyes; of course, he doesn't sees me because he is too busy to stretch and to yawn.
"Wonderful."
After this horrible night, all that I wanted was a cup of coffee, and I've done it, but he stood beside me, and yelled when what he called a great idea just hit him
"Let's make pancakes."
No problem, I have all the ingredients to make pancakes, but I have no mood and no energy, but could I tell him that when he smiles and he kisses me when I tell him an ironical 'of course' but there are two things that bothers me: Number one, he either doesn't wants to observe my ironical voice, or two: he does not care. Somehow I figure out that there are none of them.
I made the composition and he cooked them.
But another brilliant idea struck him the second time in this cursed morning.
"Do you have chocolate cream? "
So here I am, exhausted in the supermarket, searching for chocolate cream.
I found it, but it is too high on the shelf for my reach, so I've hit it to fall to the ground, and someone else took it and then talked to me with a low voice.
"Are you Sabaku no Gaara?"
I look at the odd woman, but she is beautiful and I wondered who she is. But I decided that I am too tired to play this game so early in the morning.
"Yes, and I need that chocolate cream if you don't mind."
"I want to talk to you."
"About what? Excuse me but I don't have a good day and…"
I scratched the back of my head and closed my eyes in exasperation and then she talked again.
"I am Neji's mother."
My eyes were suddenly opened and I put my entire exasperation somewhere where the chocolate cream has fell.
Meanwhile, Neji has finished cooking the pancakes, and he was looking at the delicious pancakes that are on the table, and he was hungry but he couldn't eat them without chocolate cream and without Gaara. There is a supermarket close to Gaara, just two minutes to walk from his block to the supermarket, and even if they didn't had chocolate cream, and it wouldn't take 40 minutes to find another store.
He called him and discovered that his phone is in his jeans here, in the house, and decided that something happened.
Why did he left without his phone? He has never forgotten these things! He is not that stupid to forget to take his phone. Maybe because he was in a hurry or because he looked so tired...He hasn't slept?
He heard sounds of knocking at the door, and Neji ran and opened it to see Gaara with a sad look on his face.
„What happened?"
„Nothing, I found the choco..."
„Don't lie to me, what happened? And why didn't you take your cell phone with you?"
„Because I forgot, I'm too tired okay?"
„Tired? Why?"
„Because... I tell you, it doesn't matter, here is your damn chocolate cream, eat your fucking breakfast and leave me alone!"
I gave him my plastic bag and I ran in the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel tired and I feel so confused. She is not her mother, but she raised him, he is here because of me, I have to put up a fight so he will want to go with his mother in Canada.
"Gaara, please, come here."
I got out and I punched him, he fell to the ground a little annoyed and I faked a wide smile. It hurts, but this is for his good, not for my good, but this is for him, just for him...
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
Earlier
"Tell him my words."
"Your words?"
"Tell him to get out."
Present
"Neji?"
"Yes? Wha…"
"Get out."
"What?"
"Get out!"
Earlier
"Why do I have to tell him this…?"
"Before his father died, they had a fight, his father told his mother and his own child to get out because he knew he was going to die, he preferred to be hated by them because they won't feel pain, but my sister loved him too much and she knew why he did what he did, another reason, another demonstration of his love, and hers, was when she decided to die."
"You mean?"
"I never wanted his money, I love my sister more than I love myself, or anything else in this world, our mother died when we had just three years old , we had just each other, our father was an alcoholic man after all, and he had the pleasure to beat us, so, we trust each other , we loved each other, we didn't had anyone else. She said to me to take her place that I have to raise Neji in her place."
"But Canada and all…"
"She wanted Neji to be a responsible and a good grown up man, I didn't want him to have any problems with money. Maybe I overreacted, but every time when he told me ' mom ' , I still, I couldn't take care of his heart, I know that he slept with many people before and all those kind of stuff, but I didn't interfere because it won't hurt his heart, but you reached his heart so quick, I admire you for that. But you are young, he is young…"
"I have to…"
"I won't force you, I am sorry if you think that I do this. But in Canada, there are so many doors, that will open, if he would just put his feet in that country, I don't say that he doesn't loves you, or that you don't love him, but you have to admit that you have no future. "
"But I just can't…"
"Two days. The plane will fly in two days. If you can make him come back to me in two days, then we will go to Canada, if you can't or if you don't want to, then, can you please listen to my wish?"
"Yes…"
"Take care of him for me, Okay? I will send you money, just take care of him, I will apologize to his mother when I will arrive in Canada, I couldn't take care of her son..."
"Wait, his mother is in Canada?"
"Her grave is in Canada, the one that killed her husband is also dead, she killed him and then she killed herself."
"I am sorry."
"Don't be. It's a long story and too dramatic to be told to just everybody, but please don't forget what I've told you."
"I won't."
"Then, goodbye."
"Wait…"
And she just walked away.
Present
I can't let myself cry. I can do this.
"Do you want me to get out?"
"Yes, I want you to get out."
"Why?"
"Because…"
'Tell him that you hate him'
"I hate you!"
'Tell him that it was all just a game.'
"You thought that I was in love with you? How can you be so stupid? I won't ever love another man. That is just disgusting."
I told him this in a laugh, with a smile on my face.
He has rose up from the ground and he grabbed the front of my shirt and he pushed me into the wall.
"What the hell happened to you? Tell me the truth, what the hell do you want from me?"
I closed my eyes because his gaze hurts me, this will kill me later. I put my hand on his hand that was still holding my shirt and I opened my eyes, I looked in his eyes and I answered:
"I want you to get out of my house!"
He let me on the ground. His eyes hold a deep sadness; his face couldn't be expressed in words.
He looked at the wall, and then he got out.
I am on the ground, with my back against the wall, again.
I look at the ceiling and I finally let the tears to fall.
I've done it again, I disappointed him, and this is how his father felt? I wonder...
All that I said, weren't my words, those were the words his father told him to make Neji leave him. And I said them to make Neji leave me too, and it worked, but I hurt him, and it hurts me, too, those words, his voice, his eyes.
'Tell him…tell him…'
I can hear her voice in my head, all that she told me to tell him, the expression on her face, when she explained, it like it haunts me.
'Tell him…tell him…'
Why? Why does it have to be like this?
I grabbed my knees and I hold them with my arms, I put my head between my legs and I started to cry as I begun to sing in a low voice.
"Did someone just break your heart inside…You're in ruins…'
Neji has felt like he wants to go somewhere, but where? It begun to be cold, he is on the street and without thinking further, he called his mom.
"Mom?"
"Yes."
His voice didn't tremble, but it was different. "I want to go in Canada."
It was a long silence on the other line but in the end, the woman spoke with a low voice:
"Come home."
He has let his tears run down his face. And he thought: 'I want to go far away from here, I don't want to think about what will happen, I want to run away.'
And so he did, until he arrived home, where he has found his mother with wide arms, waiting for him to embrace her.
Gaara on the other hand, has no one to embrace, he still stood there on the ground, crying until he was completely exhausted, and he fell asleep on the ground crying.
He did this for the four days and he didn't want to move from the couch or to do anything else.
He didn't want to think anymore, and his eyes looks horrible from how much he cried, he is in a horrible state.
'I think that he might have arrived in Canada by now.'
The door made sounds, someone is knocking, and he didn't even consider moving, but the voice yelled laud enough for him to hear.
"Sweetheart, I will go to Canada tomorrow, do you want to come with me?"
The annoying woman is back again. Wait, she goes in Canada…
He ran and opened the door to the smiling woman.
"I want to go to Canada."
"Oh, someone has died? You look horrible dear…"
"I have to tell you something."
He let the woman to come inside, made her a coffee and told the entire story.
"Oh, that explains why you look so thin and so unhealthy, but you should take care of yourself, you know."
"I am sorry that I was so mean to you and…"
"Don't even try to apologize to me, the one you should apologize to its Neji. What you did was brave but no one can be happy in that way."
"What do you mean?"
"Even that woman said that you made him happy, and that she can't make him happy, after what you said to him, it hurt you both, you said you did this to make him happy, but he won't be happy at all…"
"Even if you say happy and happy so many times but…"
"I thought you were smarter kiddo, he told to that woman and he told you too, money doesn't mean anything to him, you just sacrificed yourself for nothing."
"You mean that…"
"I can take you to Canada, we will find him, and when we will do that, you will explain everything to him. Understood? You can live with me and you can see him, it would be fun."
"Why?"
"Hm?"
"Why are you so good to me and…?"
"Because I don't have parents, and I did the same mistake as you."
"The same mistake?"
"I have loved a woman."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, and I never told her, she is now married and she has 3 child's. The jerk which she calls husbands it cheating her and she knows, but she doesn't have a job so she has to raise her child's and to stay in silence, and I can't do anything about it."
"You can. You have money; take her with you and the children."
"You are still too young to understand, kiddo."
"I am not, is simple."
"She still loves him, she acts like nothing is wrong, if you would see them, is like the perfect family, she is happy, even if it hurts, she always wanted child's and the pig loves her and those kids too, I can't make her happy when it comes to that."
"But that man is cheating her!"
"Yes. But he loves her."
"Then why ...?"
"You are still too young, kiddo."
After that odd conversation, and after I felt so bad for her and I still do, I am officially in Canada. After a long trip with the plane. I was surprised that I arrived without to die, but I am alive, and I feel bad that I am alive but that it's another problem.
I am in front of Mellissa's house (yeah that's her name), or more like a huge wood house. It looks like a very modern house, and as I said, I am in Canada, where it snows like hell. I barely can walk in all this snow.
But we arrived in the house and it all looks so comfortable. If I could find the courage to find Neji it would be perfect.
….
"What do you mean that you talked with him?"
"Well, when he was in the store…"
"What did you said to him?"
"Nothing, I just…"
Neji rose up from his chair and begun to yell.
"Don't fuck with me, the way he acted, just like my father…"
And it hit him.
"I should have to figure it out before that it can't be a coincidence, those words, that smile, you …"
"You didn't."
"You even have the nerve to...!"
"Yes, I have. You believed him that means you didn't trust him, like you didn't trust your father in that day."
"You don't know a fucking thing about my father! Don't even dare to talk about him!"
"Neji! I know that what I've done was wrong, but I didn't force him!"
"What?"
"It was all his choice, I didn't even thought that he would accept, and actually to take action."
"You fuck…!"
"Don't you dare to swear me! I am not your mother, but I'm your mother's sister, and I know what my sister wanted for you, and that boy wouldn't give you anything that she wanted to give you."
"You are right."
She smiled at her victory, Neji doesn't yells, but the determination from his voice was absolutely irreversible.
"You are right. My mother killed herself because she loved my father, all she could give me are money, she never could give me love, that is why she is now dead, and you can't give me love either, all I want from this life is love. Not my father, not my mother, not you. Neither of you can give me love. He is the only one that can do that. And you have succeeded. You took him away from me too; you took the happiness away from me. You tried so hard and you have succeeded. Are you happy now?"
He said that, and he walked out of the house, the woman stood there petrified and she looked at the open door, which is swinging left and right, because of the storm's wind.
In the end, she whispered in the empty house:
"Neji…"
….
"What do you mean he is not here?"
Mellissa asked Neji's mother and I looked at her wet eyes.
"For two days."
"Where?"
"He ran away."
"What did you do to him?"
"He said that none of us could give him love so he went outside saying that I took Gaara away from him, and that he is the only one who can give him love, and from then, he never came back."
In the next second, Gaara ran out of the house in the winter storm.
"Gaara! Wait!"
But he didn't listen. The wind was harsh. The snowflakes are with thousands, but Gaara kept running until he arrived in front of a forest, and yelled:
"Neji! Where are you! Neji!"
He just ran, and yelled, and searched. But Neji was nowhere to be found. Instead, he found some hungry wolfs.
"I am going to die in this fucking forest. Wonderful!"
He said that staring at the hungry wolfs that are moving around him.
When one begun to ran to bite Gaara that is standing on the ground, looking at the sky, he heard the wolf crying in pain and decided to look at who is right beside him.
"Neji!"
"Are you crazy, you want to die too? Everybody wants to leave me alone?"
"No! I came to find you and…"
"Oh, brilliant, now we can die together."
Neji had a steel bar in his hands but he couldn't protect them much longer, the angry wolfs slowly move around them with their teeth in sight.
"This won't end well."
Neji had been bitten by one of them on his left arm, and just then they heard a siren and a police man just shot in the ground and the wolves had ran away.
"Is everybody fine?"
"No! Neji is hurt!"
The police man and Gaara put Neji in the car and he led the car out of the forest.
Neji stays on a bed in his house, in pain.
"It hurts."
"Be a man!"
The doctor said and he laughs at Neji's little complaints.
"He will be alright?"
Gaara has asked he is at the left side of Neji, holding him down.
"Yes. These things happen and the wolf wasn't rabid so it will be alright."
Gaara sigh, a little relieved and he just looked at Neji's body that is covered in sweat.
'He lost weight. Why would he…?'
Gaara's eyes opened wide and his chest begun to hurt him again.
Neji was sleeping soundly in the same room and Neji's mother, Mellissa and Gaara are in the kitchen staring at each other.
"Gaara, I am sorry"
Neji's mother said and she started to cry.
"No, don't cry and don't be. You just did what you thought it will be better."
"But I was wrong."
"You love him, no?"
"Yes."
"Then, he will forgive you."
"You think?"
"Yes."
"Gaara, you love him, no?"
He had thought about the question a little, but in the end he was sure:
"Yes, I love him."
This is the first time he put the problem that way and he looked at the ceiling still in thoughts.
'I love him, but he loves me? After all...'
"He loves you."
I didn't say the question loud but Neji's mother talked like she knew at what was I thinking.
"Wha…"
"I know that. I know he hates me right now, but he loves you and you can make him happy, I am sorry, it is my entire fault."
"Why everybody is talking about me?"
We all turned our heads and we looked at the stairs and we saw Neji with a bright smile on his face.
"The doctor said that you don't have to get up from that bed!"
Neji's mother has yelled and she looked at Neji that has come before her and she embraced her.
"Thank you."
Neji said to the woman and she just begun to cry again in Neji's chest.
"So, you guys know that tomorrow is Christmas Eve, no?"
Mellissa said with a bright smile on her face.
We stopped the dramatic act, and we decided to go to bed because it is one in the morning and Neji wanted to show me the room where I will sleep in, but I arrived in the room that he stood when the Doctor was here.
"This is your room."
"No, this is our room." He said smiling and then he had hugged Gaara
"I will be good, I promise, but tomorrow, I want a certain gift from you."
"What?"
His mouth has talked before his brain, again and his face is now red, when he looked at Neji those smiles happy.
"Are you kidding? No way!"
"Why not?"
"Because…"
Gaara is in the same situation again, he couldn't find a good reason that Neji could accept and say that is okay and that they won't do that.
"You don't have to be ashamed; I will do everything, okay?"
"Are you fucking kidd...Mph!"
Neji has covered Gaara's mouth with his lips, and he gave up when Neji begun to kiss him until he couldn't breathe, but his smirk haven't disappeared when he looked at Gaara's face that is now as red as a tomato and decided to give up entirely.
They slept in the same bed that night, and Gaara slept too, but Neji didn't tried anything but Gaara was still cautious.
The day was a success. Mellissa has bought a fake tree and the whole house is decorated and warm because of the fireplace.
Neji's mother has cooked the whole day, and Mellissa has stolen some food now and then. And Neji's mother soon yelled and ran after her with the ladle in her hand, saying that she will kill her, but Mellissa seemed to be happy.
Mellissa has done pretty much everything, and all that Neji and Gaara have to do is to put the decorations on the tree and that is what they are doing right now.
"Too much red." Neji spoke to Gaara.
"But it has to be red, it's the Christmas color!"
"Yes, but it will look ugly if it's all red, and there are too many on this branch."
Neji began to correct Gaara and to put the decoration in a different way.
"This is how it is supposed to be." He pointed the branch that has now four different decorations on it.
Gaara has removed his tongue out at Neji, annoyed that he was corrected so much. But Neji took this as an invitation and begun to suck at Gaara's tongue.
"Sto…"
Gaara was pushed against the wall, and Neji kissed him, and bite his lips and suck on his tongue, and put his hands underneath his red sweater.
Gaara's breath accelerated when Neji begun to bite and to lick Gaara's neck.
"Dinner is ready!"
The two women came in the room with big plates with food in their hands, and they remained stoned in place when they saw the two boys.
Gaara's face is red from embarrassment and Neji arrange his blue sweater.
"Okay, then let's serve the food, everybody sit down."
Mellissa didn't seem affected at all; she even smiled at Neji with a suggestive smile.
But Neji's mother was shocked and her face was a little red, and she just replayed the picture of the two boys in her head and refused to look at Neji and at Gaara, all the time they ate.
Mellissa decided to stop this mood and put some music, she danced with Neji's mother that she was obviously terrified and the two boys looked at them from their seats and clapped their hands smiling.
When it was the middle of the night, everybody was already in their rooms.
Neji's mother is already sleeping, because she is tired from cooking all the day and even Mellissa was sleeping from running everywhere the whole day, but she's been happy that it all went good in the end and everybody was happy.
Gaara was outside, on the back stairs of the house, made by wood as the house is, and with a coffee in his hand.
Neji has come shortly after and he put a small blanket on Gaara's shoulders saying that is too cold to stay like that.
He stood beside him looking at the sky, and Gaara looked himself at the full beautiful moon.
"Do you think Mellissa is in love with your mom?"
Neji laugh at the question.
"I don't know, but my mom will freak out if she will found out what sexual orientation Melissa has. "
"Yeah, is not our problem anyway, so…?" Gaara wants to end the subject and to enjoy the silence, but Neji spoke again:
"Yeah. Gaara?"
Neji said Gaara's name waiting for attention.
"Yes?"
Gaara said, but he still looks at the moon.
"I want my gift."
Neji now looked at Gaara with a serious face and Gaara didn't stared at the moon anymore, and his eyes automatically stared at Neji when he heard his question.
"You want it now?"
They stared at each other, and Gaara didn't know if he is pale or red.
"Yes."
Neji came closer and kissed him on the lips.
"You know, you are so damn cute when your face turns red."
"That is not…"
Gaara's lips were silenced again.
They walked inside the house and Gaara is now in the shower, refusing to get out.
Neji is sitting on the bed, waiting patiently.
'I can't believe this is happening to me.' Gaara has thought. He stood there until his skin begun to hurt, the water was either too hot or too cold. But he didn't want to get out.
He put some clean clothes that he has taken before he went to do the 'shower' that lasted at least one hour.
'I won't do the same mistake twice' he thought at the time when he and Neji have made a bath together.
'Tell me that he fell asleep.' Gaara has prayed and he gets out of the bathroom.
"I've begun to fear that you've drowned."
Gaara has cursed when he saw Neji right in front of the bathroom's door.
"I' am sorry, I…"
'Whom do I want to fool? Even if I would have stood there three hours and I would probably die, he would still be awake.'
He walked a step closer to me, putting him closer to me, so now I lean against the door frame, and he begun kissing me, and to bite my lower lip.
I could sense what was coming so I closed my eyes, somehow in pain, and I decided to support everything he will do to me.
'I love him but I'm just too much of a coward for this.'
Neji has put his hand underneath Gaara's long T-shirt, on his tan abdomen.
Gaara felt that his stomach got tight, like it wants to run away from Neji's hand.
'Why do I feel like this? Is not like he will just do this and then he will leave me, he loves me, no? No?'
Tears formed in his eyes and Neji pulled has stopped.
"You know…I won't force you if you don't want this. I am sorry, I should…"
'Don't say that!"
Gaara has yelled but the tears didn't disappear. And Neji just stared and said nothing and Gaara spoke again:
"Neji?"
"Yes."
'Tell him…'
"Do you love me?"
'Tell him…"
Neji was surprised by the sudden question but he adapted quickly.
"Yes, I love you, of course."
'Tell him… tell him to get out.'
"I …."
"You don't love me?"
Tears fell and Neji started to look worried and confused in the same time.
"I…"
'Tell him…'
"I love you too."
'Tell him you love him and then tell him to get out.'
A smile formed on Neji's lips and Gaara's tears just continued to fell on his face, but he smiled too.
"Then why do you cry?"
"Because I am a fool."
"Yes you are, but you're my fool."
Neji has embraced him and then he wiped away the tears from Gaara's face.
"Gaara, if you don't want this…"
'He will never trust someone whatever they will say, if they don't prove their love to him.'
"I want this."
"Don't lie…"
"I am not lying."
"Then why do you cry?"
"I've said it."
"What?"
"I said it at the right time."
"You kill me, you know?"
"Yes."
Gaara said smiling and then he embraced Neji.
"I want this but I'm afraid."
"Why? I don't want to hurt you. You know this."
"I know."
Neji has kissed Gaara again, pulling off his T-shirt and then he kissed and bite his neck and then his nipples and then he put his hands on Gaara's pants, starting to pull them down.
"Nej…"
"It's okay. Do you trust me?"
Gaara's face had turned completely red, but it soon regained normal even if his breath has accelerated with every second.
"Yes, I trust you, but this..."
"Then, just close your eyes."
Gaara opened his mouth to complain, but he has decided, so, he closed his mouth and then he closed his eyes.
He refused to open them, no matter what will happen, he put his hand on the door frame, so he can support himself in that way.
"Promise me that you won't open your eyes, until I will tell you to open them."
Gaara has sigh and then he spoke:
"I promise."
He could hear Neji , he just smiled.
Neji is on the wooden floor, in his knees, in front of Gaara's legs, the red head lifted his head as much as he could with his eyes still closed, when he felt his pants away from his legs.
He was now completly naked, in front of Neji, he didn't need to look down to blush.
After two seconds he felt something warm around his member. He thought that it is Neji's mouth wich made him feel like this. And it is the truth.
He felt the hands and a tongue, he wanted to scream when he realised that he feels hard.
Soon enough, a hand made his breath accelerate more than before, it was around his member rubbing him fast.
He wanted to come just then, but then he was surprised by a toungue again, licking the tip.
In the end he came in Neji's mouth.
He wanted to say something before but he was too overhelmed by all the emotions he felt.
"I am sorry I didn't..."
He wanted to apologise but his lips were soon covered, he couldn't talk anymore, and he tasted himself in Neji's mouth.
He tried hard to keep his eyes closed.
Neji just kissed him again and again, until he realised that the stops he did in the kisses were because he is taking he takes his own clothes off of him.
He realised that Neji is complelty naked when he felt his member against his, they were both hard.
Neji begun to kiss and lick and bite his neck and he demanded Gaara by taking his hands and making him walk until he was pushed on the bed.
The next sensation he felt was Neji kissing him, licking and biting him all over his body.
His brething is quicker than before, he felt the hand touching his member again and the teeth on his nipples.
In the end, Neji spoke:
"Open your mouth."
Gaara did as he was told and he felt fingers inside his mouth.
"Lick."
He once again did as he was told, and he realised that there was another substance on the fingers, but it soon it has dissapeared.
In the meanwhile, he felt Neji kissing his neck and moving up and down against his member with his own member.
Soon enough, he felt that along with the fingers there was a tongue, the fingers were took out completly and Neji kissed him again and again.
But he felt an arm moving his legs, parting his legs.
He soon has felt a wet finger in his ass.
"Ah..."
He didn't knew if he moaned from plasure or from pain.
A second finger, and then a third finger.
In the end, he felt nothing for second, but then there was something that he thought that it is Neji's member slowly rubbing against his hole.
"Gaara..."
Neji spoke and Gaara has realised how quickly he is breathing and how sweaty he is.
"Ye... Ah..."
He felt something bigger than a finger at the beggining of his hole, a lot bigger.
"Open your eyes."
He realised that he didn't realised anymore that his eyes are closed, all those emotions made him feel so much that his eyes were unuseful.
But in the end, he opened his eyes.
He stared at the ceiling, and then at Neji's face which is very close to his, Neji smiled and he smiled too, almost automaticaly, then Neji has kissed him and in the same time, he entered in Gaara.
"Mph..."
Gaara wanted to scream, again, he didn't knew if it was because of the pain or because of the plasure.
But Neji didn't complained, he let go of Gaara's mouth and let the red head make moans louder or lower as he entered again and again.
In the end, he felt that it is the moment, and he entered in Gaara completly, on the other hand, Gaara grabbed the sheet tight with his sweeaty hands and he even moaned louder this time.
Neji just stood, inside him completly, unmoving.
Gaara opened his eyes because he closed them from all of the emotions.
And he stared at Neji.
Those eyes stared at him and those lips smiled.
He kissed Gaara and he entered faster and faster until they both came and they were both exhausted.
Neji kissed Gaara again and he put himself beside him, trying to catch his breath.
Gaara fell asleep curled up next to Neji and Neji wrapped his arms around Gaara's body and they fell asleep.
"Good morning sunshine!"
Melissa has pulled the curtains of the room, the boys were still in the bed, sleeping.
Mellissa sits on the bed beside Gaara's head and she whispered:
"I think Neji's mom is coming ..."
Gaara has risen up instantly, he looked at Mellissa who smiled and then he put his hand on his messy hair and then he groaned, and asked:
"What do you want?"
"What changing of emotions, yesterday's night, I am sure you were pretty loud and a great jumper!"
She jumped on the bed slowly smiling, showing her demonstration.
"God, get out."
The red head said with a tired voice and he hit her with his pillow and in the end she ran and closed the door after her, but he threw his pillow on the closed door and then he looked at a sleeping Neji.
The boy looked even more tired than he is, he didn't even wake up after all the loud talking.
He put himself on Neji's chest and realized that his back hurts.
But he ignored it, and he kissed the sleeping boy's cheek and said:
"Good morning."
He closed his eyes but then he heard a response:
"It feels like a good morning"
The other boy said and he kissed the head surprised Gaara.
"You were awake?"
"Not really, why?"
"I just wondered."
"Hm... Mellissa sure has a lot of energy..."
Neji said and for a moment, Gaara stood with a surprised expression on his face then with a smile.
"Yeah, I think so too."
Neji has rose up from the bed after some minutes and he goes to the window where the sun entered calmly, and then he saw on the table that was close to the window with two cups of coffee.
He took them and he walked back to the bed, he sits himself and he gave one cup to Gaara.
"Wait."
Neji said and he put the white cups close to each other and they both read in the same time:
"7 Minutes in love"
Neji has smiled and Gaara just stared at the cups and then says:
"What a joke."
"Yeah."
And they stared at the sunny window and they drink their coffee in the morning's silence.
The end.
Thanks for those who reviewd and for those who read, the ones who hellped me, the story is finished. Finally.
After a whole day of writing, well I don't complaing but a review would be nice
Oh ,and I want to give my sincere thanks for gaarafreak89141, you really helped me and in the end it all went good, so thank you a lot, I hope I didn't dissapoint you.
Well then, I wait for reviews, I didn't slept at all so if someone has mecry then I will really be happy.