Clint's day had been very interesting yesterday. There wasn't anything particularly interesting about meeting for lunch with a coworker… but then Thor wasn't your average coworker. Still, it was the conversation that had taken the cake. It had been quite the lesson in Asgardian magic and law, to say nothing of the Odinsons' screwy family dynamics. What Clint had thought was going to be a normal meeting had quickly taken a turn into weird, and he would be the first to admit that the plan that he had come up with was weird in its own right, but he had a feeling that if he could actually pull it off, it would be great fun.

And it had all started out with such a routine question…

Clint slid casually into the side of the booth that was opposite Thor at the shwarma joint that the Avengers had been to once before, a little surprised to see that Thor had thought to wear layman's clothes as he asked, "How's it going?"

"To my sibling's daughter."

"What?" Clint asked in confusion.

"Her name is Hel," Thor explained curtly, knowing Clint could fill in the blanks.

"Fitting of Loki's kid," Clint muttered before asking warily. "What's that mean? Did Loki get himself free or something?"

"No, he's very imprisoned still – helpless even."

"Good for him."

Thor glared for a second before admitting, "And that's where you come in."

"How exactly does that work?" Clint asked with a not so covert snort.

Thor sighed and toyed with a piece of the shwarma that he'd already ordered for them both, saying haltingly, "My father has chosen a rather… unconventional… method of punishing my brother."

"How's that?"

"He's sending him here to Midgard."

"Like he did you?" Clint asked, his jaw clenching at the idea. "Free to do whatever he wants?"

"Yes and no. I'm to accompany Loki and keep an eye on him. He has been stripped of his powers; he's a mortal now."

Clint waited, since it looked like there was something else Thor needed to tell him, but when the god didn't speak – and didn't meet his eyes, either – the archer asked, "Is there some other stipulation?"

"Father's put a spell on my brother to make it so that Loki's… changed forms," Thor hedged, sighing before admitting what Clint could've never seen coming. "He's a female mortal now."

Clint froze, taking a few seconds to process what he had just been told before he smirked, getting some sadistic version of pleasure out of this revelation as he asked, "So your immortal brother is now your very killable sister?!"

Thor's eyes flew to Clint's face at his wording, eyes wide, all but begging, "Promise me you won't kill him."

"Because you'd let me do that," Clint drawled sarcastically.

"I suspect it to be what my father desires the outcome of Loki's trip to Midgard to be," Thor said flatly.

Clint didn't quite buy it. "He wants his own kid dead?"

"Loki has never truly been viewed by our father as my equal – not as a child of Odin."

"Isn't that – dead – still a little extreme?"

Thor shrugged, saying simply, "My father is very angry with him."

Clint shrugged it off then, getting back on point by saying, "Where do I fit into all of this?"

"There is… as you put it, more stipulations to Loki's sentence." Thor was choosing his words carefully again, and Clint had to resist the urge to fidget before the god continued, "My father has demanded that Loki and I take up residence in the Avengers Tower so that Loki may see how his attack on Manhattan has affected the Avengers."

"Over my dead body," Clint snapped. "To say nothing of what Stark would have to say of the guy living in his house."

"Given Loki's current form, I think the man of iron would be all too willing to allow entrance," Thor said, flinching a little.

"No," Clint shook his head, "Not even Stark's that stupid."

"There's more," Thor said, dangling the words like they were supposed to sweeten the deal.

Clint growled, "What?"

"My father doesn't just want Loki to learn about humanity, but about humility as well. He desires for Loki to be a… servant..." Thor shifted, adding, "Yours, specifically."

Clint's eyebrows went way up again and he finally verified, "Does that mean that I can do whatever I want with him… her?"

"Yes," Thor admitted, looking like he hated to say it. "But, please, do not kill Loki; he's still my family… You'd be killing me as well."

Clint had to think hard on it for what was probably a full minute before he grudgingly said, "Alright, I promise, no killing Loki. But you've got to know that I can't just let him get off scot free."

"Fine," Thor said, releasing a breath in relief. "Just so long as you spare his life, I won't get involved in whatever you decide befits what he's done."

They ate in silence for a few minutes while Clint pondered what exactly he would do with Loki before he was hit with an idea that was so bizarre, he knew immediately he would try it.

"When are you and Loki showing up at the Tower?"

"Tomorrow evening."

"How changed is Loki's appearance?"

"He's… she's nearly unrecognizable. If you didn't know who she was, you wouldn't recognize her."

Clint smiled, and was further amused to see that his happy expression appeared to terrify the god across from him as he said, "Good."

"Why?"

Clint ignored the question as he asked, "Do you two think it'd be necessary to tell the others who this woman who's going to be showing up actually is?"

"I'm not fond of the idea, and I doubt Loki is. Why?"

"Well then, let Loki drum up an alias and back story."

"If I know my brother-"

"-Sister-"

"-Like I believe I do, he'll think of doing that on his own, I'm sure," Thor said, asking for the third time, "Why?"

"Because I want him to die and you don't want him killed, do I have this right?"

"Yes, but I don't understand; have you found some sort of a compromise to that?"

"Thor," Clint asked lazily, leaning back in his seat and grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Have you ever heard of killing someone with kindness?"

And now here he was, alone on his floor of Avengers Tower and waiting for Thor and Loki when the doorbell rang.