In The Dark

by the-shiny-girl

What is worth fighting for when you are lost in the darkness and at the mercy of a man who has lost everything? How to find a will to live?

18. Surrender

Chapter 18 SURRENDER

"C'mon, 'Mione! You can finish this some other time," Ron insisted, trying to convince Hermione to go to dinner with him and Harry.

"I can't. I don't have much time left," she answered, not looking up from her books.

The common room was empty, everyone left for dinner and Ron was anxious to get there himself.

"But the essay is due next week!" Harry jumped in, trying to help Ron.

"Well, unlike some, I like everything to be organised," she replied calmly.

Ron nodded:"I agree," then added, "but you can be organised after the dinner. 'Mione, I'm starving!"

Harry rolled his eyes at that statement and muttered:"Nothing new about that."

"When are you two going to start working on yours essays?"

Harry and Ron exchanged nervous glances, then looked around as if they were afraid of being yelled at. Hermione raised her eyebrows at the both of them, waiting for an answer.

Ron was the first to speak:"Well, we were planning on starting tom-"

"Starting?" Hermione asked, shocked because of the boys' lack of responsibility,"You mean you haven't even started yet?"

"'Mione, please, don't have a stroke!" Harry said with dramatic voice.

"You two are unbelievable," she just commented, then looked down into her book again.

"Hermione, c'mon. You have plenty of time to finish that. Let's go to dinner. I'm seriously starving," Ron tried for the last time.

Hermione couldn't prevent a smile to form on her face, but she didn't change her mind:"You two go to dinner."

"But what about you?" Ron asked, shaking his head, "How can you skip dinner? Are you not hungry?"

Her voice became more decisive as she spoke:"Ronald, I said no. You two can go without me. I'm perfectly fine. Go. Eat."

Harry let out a sigh, but then turned to leave. Ron followed him, but then he stopped and turned to her:"We'll bring you some food here."

Hermione's eyes left the books and she send them both friendly smiles before nodding:"Fine. Thank you."

Ron nudged Harry and said proudly"See, I told you she was hungry!"

"Ronald!"

Before they left the room, Hermione heard Harry whisper:"Merlin, she should get extra points for skipping meal."

She just shook her head and smiled before looking down into her books again. She couldn't bring herself to be annoyed, because she knew should be grateful for friends like Ron and Harry and she really was. If she knew where she would be just a few months later, she would go to dinner. If she knew where Ron and Harry would be a few months later, she would go to dinner with them. But she didn't know. No one did.

.***

"I was under the impression you at least in theory know what is necessary to do," Lucius' voice brought her back into reality.

"I do know," Hermione replied, blushing.

"Then you know it's impossible for us to engage in anything while you are standing across the room."

It was then that Hermione realized she was standing next to a wall, away from Lucius. She was completely confused and disoriented since her brought her back into the house. It seemed as if her ability to think clearly was left on that garden when she made the deal with the devil.

"Come here, Mudblood."

And she obeyed, knowing she had no other option. It did cross her mind that maybe he was just playing with her when he threatened to free her and leave her alone in the Diagon Alley. But what if he was serious? She couldn't risk it. Her life was at stake and it wasn't an easy decision. But Hermione chose life. At least that was what it seemed to be.

As she slowly walked toward Lucius' voice, her heart was beating uncontrollobly fast, threatening to burst out of her ribcage. She was so nervous and had no idea what was expected from her. How could she know? It wasn't as if she had any experience in that department. And even if she had experience, Hermione was positive she would still be completely inexperienced and innocent compared to Lucius. What did he expect from her?

She stopped in front of him and realized he was sitting on the edge of the bed. A small voice in her head was trying to convince her that that was a good sign. He probably wanted to do it in the bed. It was better than against the wall or the floor. At least for the first time. But then will come the second time and the third and.... And what if he's brutal in bed? Violent?

She stopped herself before her thoughts went completely out of control. She had a habit of over-thinking things, but it wouldn't help her if she had a nervous breakdown.

"I need to ask you a question," his voice cut through the silence, "Were you telling me the truth when you said that nothing happened with Antonin while you were with him?"

Hermione cringed at the memory. Why was he asking her about that? She already told him that nothing happened. And besides, she didn't need to remember her time with Dolohov.

"I already told you," she shot back, a little harsher than she intended.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You..you came there on time," she said quietly, her mind remembering everything that happened while she was staying with Dolohov. For a moment it seemed to her as if she could smell Dolohov's disgusting breath.

Lucius was silent for a few seconds as if he was lost in his thoughts, but then he spoke:"Undress," he ordered coldy and without any kind of emotion.

Hermione swallowed hard, but didn't move immediately. Her body wasn't listening to her. It felt as if it was rebelling against her and it wouldn't move.

"Mudblood, now it is not the time for disobedience," he drawled, "After all, this was your idea."

Hermione said nothing to him as her hands moved to the robe she was wearing. He was somehow right. She was given a choice and she made a decision. Now she had to live with the consequences.

It was better to do it quickly than to stall to gain time. It would just be more uncomfortable for her. She was telling herself that he had already seen her naked before and it would be nothing new to him.

But that didn't prevent her hands from shaking, as she pulled the robe over her head and let it fall on the floor next to her legs.

No noise came from Lucius and Hermione already felt tears in her eyes. But she wouldn't let it show. Tears were useless and just a waste of time. So she clenched her teeth together and quickly covered herself with her hands, not able to stop herself. It was the most humiliating moment of her entire life, but somehow she knew it was not even remotely finished. There would be a lot more humiliating moments for her in that night.

"Good girl," Lucius said to her as if he were talking to a dog.

Hermione almost took a step back when she heard him stand up, but she forced herself to stay put.

"But undressing usually involves taking off all clothes."

Surprise showed on Hermione's face at hearing that. What was he doing? Why was he torturing her that way? He should just take her and be done with it. That was what she wanted, but her wishes were not important to him.

"Why?" she asked confused, still not touching him.

Lucius smirked:"You do know that it's required to be without robes to be able to-"

"I didn't mean that," Hermione interrupted him, "I mean...I..."

"Yes?" he drawled.

Hermione took a shaky breath, not knowing what to say to him.

After a long moment of silence, she let out:"Just take me."

"I'm afraid I don't quite understand you," Lucius said innocently.

"Hit me. Rip my clothes off. Throw me on the bed. Push me against the wall," she was begging him with a weak voice, "Just take me and get this over with."

"No."

That one word was spoken so confidently that Hermione knew she had no chance of convincing him otherwise.

"Why not?" she asked quietly, "I don't think it would be that difficult for you."

"That's true. I have experience with such things," he said matter-of-factly, sending shivers down Hermione's body.

Was he trying to frighten her even more? She was about to give herself to him and the last thing she needed to hear was how he has experience with brutality in bed.

"But this time it's different," he continued, "You will do everything as I say. That way I will not have to use unnecessary violence."

It didn't make Hermione feel any better, knowing he would use violence only if needed. She knew he wouldn't be gentle. It was ridiculous to even think about it.

"Undress, Mudblood."

"Alright," she said quietly, "I will do as you say."

"I know you will," he answered confidently.

"But I have a request," she added.

That got his attention as he asked with amusement:"A request?"

She nodded:"Yes," then paused, "Can you...can we..do that...in the dark?"

He chuckled coldly at her discomfort:"It's amusing to see you struggle with words. Not very typical for you. I have quite a few expressions for what we are about to. If you like-"

"No," she cut him off, "I don't want to hear it."

"Are you sure? As entertaining as it is seeing you lost for words, I think it would be interesting for you to learn a few new phrases."

"That's not necessary," then she asked, nervous, "So, can we?"

"Can we what? Do that in the dark?" he mocked her.

Hermione was a wreck and didn't need his mocking as well. If he continued with this it would be only a matter of time when she'd break into a hysterical crying.

"Please," she said, hoping he would show some mercy.

"You are already in the dark, so why do you...Oh, of course. You are shy," he grinned at her.

Hermione hugged herself even tighter and just hoped to die at that moment.

"Please," she repeated, hating herself for sounding so weak, but she wasn't sure if she'd be able to do anything while knowing he could see her, her body, her face, her every movement.

He was silent for a few seconds, then he nodded:"Alright. I suppose there is nothing wrong with being in the dark. It adds mystery, don't you think?"

Hermione let out a breath, hoping it would be easier for her if she knew he was unable to see her completely.

"Nox," he said and the next moment Hermione relaxed a bit. She knew he could still see her, but at least not as clearly as before.

"Now where were we? Ah, yes. Undress," he ordered, this time he seemed annoyed.

Hermione took an encouraging breath and quickly removed her knickers, then waited for his instructions. She could only pray that the room was dark enough.

"Now undress me."

That was completely unexpected. She didn't want to touch him. But what did she expect?

Hermione bit her lower lip and tried to force her hands to move away from her body and touch his. Just the thought of touching his bare skin made her feel uneasy. And why did he want that anyway? He always claimed to be disgusted by her, why would he like her to touch him?

So many thoughts were in her head, but now was not the time to analyse everything. Now was time to relax and try to make it through.

Her hands found his body and she realized he was wearing a shirt. She had expected him to wear robes, but it was normal he wasn't wearing heavy robes in his house. She tried to undo the buttons without actually touching him, but it was difficult. And the trembling of her hands didn't make it any easier. Strangely, Lucius said nothing to her.

After a minute or two she was finally able to undo all the buttons and then the shirt was removed. Hermione could hear as it fell on the floor. She quickly removed her hands away from his body, not wanting to touch him more than necessary.

But then she reminded herself that she wasn't done yet. Biting her lower lip, she hesitantly reached for his pants. Humiliation was making her blush and blood was pounding in her ears.

She couldn't see where his belt was and not wanting to touch him in inappropriate places, she placed her hands on his chest than moved them down until she reached his belt. Maybe it was all her imagination, but she felt him tense when her hands connected with his bare chest. He was warm and smooth but muscular. She never realized that before. Not wanting to think about his body anymore, she pushed that thought away as she struggled with his belt.

She still couldn't believe what she was doing. When she finally undid his belt, she stopped, unable to continue.

"I can do the rest myself otherwise we'll be here all night," Lucius hissed at her and Hermione relaxed a bit as she took a step back.

She could hear the noise of clothes rustling, then silence. Only a moment later her back was pulled against his bare chest and he circled her slight waist with his arms. Hermione tensed at the sudden closeness. His body was warm and hard. It crossed Hermione's mind that it felt as if she was leaning against the wall. He was still wearing his underpants, she could tell.

Before she had a chance to say something, she felt him lower his lips to her neck.

"Mine," he whispered into her ear.

It was spoken with such possessiveness that it frightened Hermione, but she didn't dare to say anything.

"Mine to take," he added, "Mine to break."

He moved very slowly, stroking the length of her arms with his fingertips. Her breathing was rapid and unsteady, revealing her fear, but she held firm. She had no other choice.

"Are you frightened?" he murmured to her.

Hermione knew there was no point in lying to him. She didn't have to act like she liked it; she didn't even have to put on a brave face, because Lucius understood the situation perfectly. He could feel her trembling and that was the evidence of how she was feeling.

His hands slowly and almost lazily moved up. He ran his fingers over her stomach and Hermione sucked in a breath, stiffening completely as Lucius finally rested his hands on her breasts, which he began to massage at first lightly, but then harder and harder until she was silently begging him to stop.

At that moment Hermione shut her eyes, trying to ignore what was happening. But it was impossible to when she almost forgot to breath at the feel of his touch.

Don't touch me. Move your hands away. Please.

Suddenly a memory came flooding back to her. When Lucius insulted her, saying that he couldn't understand what Dolohov saw in her pathetic excuse for female attributes. He made her feel so disgusting and ugly with that sentence. But now as his hands moved up and down her breasts, he wasn't complaining or insulting her.

Hermione was completely stiff, just waiting for him to finish and get it over with. Maybe they would not need the bed. With the way things were going, it seemed as if he was planning on taking her in the middle of the room.

Horrible thoughts entered her head, but then she was being moved and dumped unceremoniously onto the bed.

This is it.

He was on top of her only a second later, his weight pushing her into the mattress. Even though she promised herself she wouldn't cry, it was impossible to keep the tears in. The reality of what was happening finally hit her.

The men's hands were scrubbing her body, taking away the little privacy left. Suddenly her friends appeared in her thoughts. She was disgusting and they had all the right to hate her. What would Ginny say if she knew what Hermione allowed to happen?

Ron...Sweet and innocent Ron...He was killed with the same hands that were now rubbing and stroking her inner thighs. Lucius ran his fingers over her stomach, not leaving anything untouched.

"No," Hermione protested weakly as she realized how wrong it was, but Lucius ignored her as he forced her legs apart with his knee.

"You are mine, Mudblood," Lucius hissed at her, pinning her wrists above her head with his left hand in an attempt to stop her struggling, "You've been mine since that day at the Battle Field. I can to whatever I wish with you. And there is nothing you can do to stop me."

She could feel his calm countenance turning to hunger as he looked at her squirming body.

"You know you belong to me," he said coldly and confidently, "I've saved you so many times. I protected you from my friends that night, I saved you from Dolohov, Philix...Hell, I even killed for you," he whispered the last sentence.

Hermione's lower lip trembled as she listened to him. He was right. Even though she still wasn't clear on the fact why he killed Dolohov, she decided it was not the right time to ask.

"I think I have every right to take what is mine and what I protected from others," he trailed a finger along her face.

"You don't have to do this," she managed to say, still keeping her sobs inside her.

"True. But I will do this."

He tightened his grip on her wrists as anger took over him:"Do you think Potter had to kill my son?"

Hermione remained silent at that and terror took over her. Talking about Draco always seemed to bring out the worst in Lucius. She definitely didn't need furious Lucius at that moment.

"He killed him without a second thought! Draco hadn't even seen it coming," Lucius continued, rage and bitternes in his voice.

Without another word, he forced her legs even more apart as he settled between her thighs. Hermione had never felt more vulnerable than she did at that moment.

She turned her head to the side, a tear sliding down her cheek and onto her hair.

"Please..."

"Please?" he asked coldly, "Do you think I will have mercy on you? Why should I?"

"I..I'm just-"

"What? A child? A young girl?" he spat with venom, "Draco was young too and now he is dead. Because of you and your pathetic friends."

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek and stayed silent, hoping his anger would pass.

"Well, Miss Granger," he spoke elegantly, "Welcome to adulthood."

With those words he pushed inside her with such force that Hermione felt she was being torn in half. A horrible scream escaped her mouth and she bucked against him in attempts to get him off and rid herself of the awful pain he was inflicting upon her.

She could hear Lucius hiss in pure pleasure above her, while she cried out in pain. It didn't make sense to her. How can such act bring so much pleasure to someone while at the same time so much pain to the other?

"Does that hurt, little girl?" Lucius crooned mockingly after a few moments.

She was trembling from pain and was unable to say anything. Soon she could taste blood in her mouth from biting down on her tongue too hard. Releasing her wrists, Lucius held himself above her on his arms.

"Does this hurt?" he asked as he removed himself from her and then pushed back in, making Hermione cry out in even more pain.

"Please, don't...don't move," she begged as she clenched her thighs around him, trying to keep him still. It hurt so much more when he moved.

She brought her hands to his shoulders and her fingers soon felt the scars on his skin. She didn't have the time to think where and how he got the scars as he moved again, ignoring her pleas.

"You. Are. Mine," he punctuated each word with a thrust of his hips.

Hermione's nails dug into his shoulders, but in all his pleasure he didn't seem to mind or even notice. Suddenly she was being moved.

Without breaking their connection, Lucius pulled himself into a sitting position with Hermione on top of him. The change of position was confusing for Hermione, but all she could concentrate on was still the pain.

She once read that the pain passes after a few moments, but in her case didn't seem that way.

Not knowing where to place her hands, she wrapped them around Lucius' neck and waited for him to move again.

"There's no need to cry, dear girl," he said to her, probably feeling her tears on his skin, "You had to lose it sooner or later."

But it was not supposed to be you. It was not supposed to be this way.

"Now move, Mudblood," he ordered, placing his hands on her hips.

"W-What?" she asked, taking a shaky breath.

"Move. Up and down."

After hearing that, her crying became even worse. Why was he humiliating her? Was it not enough everything he did to her already?

"Why?" she asked through her sobs, ignoring the feeling of him inside her. The pain was not that bad when he was not moving, but Hermione knew they were not even nearly finished.

"Because every time you will look back onto this night, you will remember that it was you who was moving up and down on me," Lucius explained, a bit out of breath. It sounded as if he was controlling himself.

Hermione hesitated, not knowing how to do what he was asking from her.

"Do it, Mudblood. I can still return you to the Diagon Alley," he threatened, then added, "Though, you might not be that interesting to some Death Eaters anymore without your virtue."

Hermione didn't need to listen about that. She didn't need to hear his threats again, because she knew what she had to do. It would be pointless to stop now. Everything was lost already and the only option was to finish it.

So she took a deep breath and raised herself up, gasping at the feeling of withdrawal. Lucius' hands on her hips urged her to continue and she took a deep breath as she forced herself down again. A gasp escaped her and she reflexively rested her head against Lucius' shoulder, waiting a few moments for the pain to subside.

It surprised her that Lucius said nothing to hurry her as they remained unmoving.

As she felt she was ready, she repeated the motion. It didn't escape her notice how Lucius hissed in pleasure every time she moved and how his hands possessively, but somehow gently moved on her hips, caressing her skin, guiding her and controlling her moves.

"Good girl," he moaned in bliss, "You are learning."

His words were hurting her more that physical pain and tears were sliding down her cheeks, but that didn't matter to him. It was impossible he didn't notice it, but he simply chose to not care.

Soon they were moving together, Lucius taking more and more control until he flipped her over again, pushing her back onto the bed and crawling on top of her.

Hermione somehow knew her part was done. He humiliated her, made her feel like a whore and a traitor and now it was his turn to enjoy her body completely.

After a while she felt how the pain lessened to some degree. There was no kissing, just touching and groping. His touch was rough, but also gentle every now and then. There was a moment when his hand brushed against her breast and that touch felt good. Shame filled her at that.

Hermione didn't move at all as she let him do what he pleased to her. She could feel his rhythm becoming faster with each thrust. His breath was coming in short little gasps now and Hermione turned her head to the side. Her mind was blank, without any serious thoughts. She found herself wondering how soft the mattress beneath her was and how she would probably have bruises on her thighs the next day.

But then she realized something that terrefied her. He supported his weight on his elbows, so he wouldn't crush her, but the feel of him on her, his weight pressed onto her body felt...comforting and safe in some way.

She was biting her lover lip to distract herself as Lucius grunted heavily above her. Closing her eyes, she surrendered to him completely as their bodies locked together in the most primal act.

.***

Hermione turned her back to him and pulled the blanket over her body, shielding herself from him. She could still hear him panting quietly next to her. Their bodies weren't touching anymore and Hermione was grateful for that. She was touched more than enough by him. At least he removed himself immediately from her when he was...finished.

She stopped crying at some point, not quite sure when exactly, but now as shame overtook her, sobbing threantened to return.

If she could only take a bath and clean herself. And what about him? Didn't he feel the need to wash away every evidence of what happened?

She took a deep breath, suppressing more sobs. She didn't want him to hear how much he succeeded in breaking her. When she heard him exhale deeply, she pulled the blanket tighter around her body, burying her face in the soft pillow. She didn't want to think about what had just happened between the two of them, she just wanted to forget that it had ever happened.

What now?

How is their relationship going to be from now on? Will he still treat her like dirt, a pathetic mudblood? He probably will. Only he will add whore on that list as well.

Hermione felt sick at the thought of doing that with Lucius on regular bases. She was positive she wouldn't be able to stand it.

"Lumus," he muttered and Hermione pressed her head into the pillow, wanting to hide.

"When I first saw you, I never thought you were that easy to control," Lucius finally spoke, cutting through silence.

Hermione tensed at the sound of his voice and waited for him to continue.

"You were just a child then, but you had such determination and pride in your eyes," he then leaned over to her, grabbing her chin and making her look at him.

"Not anymore. Now you just stare blankly."

He released her after a few moments, letting out an annoyed sigh.

"Do stop with your pathetic crying already," he hissed at her, "You should be grateful that it was me, Mudblood."

Hermione still said nothing. She had to admit that she was thankful that her first time happened with Lucius and with a reason and not in some dirty dungeon with Dolohov or on the Battle Field with a group of Death Eaters. But that didn't make her feel any better. And it was a poor excuse for what she did. There were brave people who died in the War, who gave their lives for their cause and what was she doing? Sleeping with the enemy because she was afraid of death.

She was pathetic.

"Are you mute now?" Lucius was becoming angry, but Hermione didn't care.

She didn't feel like talking to him. She couldn't concentrate on words, because her mind was filled with everything that happened between the two of them.

At least it wasn't as bed as she thought it would be. She was afraid Lucius was a violent or brutal man in bed, but she was wrong. He also wasn't gentle or caring, but she never expected him to be.

God, she felt dirty. And she knew it wasn't just in her mind, because she could feel something dried on her thighs.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" she suddenly asked, her voice weaker than she expected.

"What a surprise. You can talk," he replied sarcastically, then added:"Be my guest."

Not wasting any time, she quickly wrapped a blanket around herself and got up from the bed.

"Now Mudblood, aren't we a little too modest after all I saw just a few minutes ago?" he smirked.

Hermione ignored him as she slowly walked towards the bathroom. She winced in pain as she took the first step, but then she put on a strong mask and hid any evidence of the pain she was feeling, even though every move stung.

When she finally stepped into the bathroom, she closed the doors behind her and let out a breath she was holding.

As the tub was slowly filling with water, Hermione suddenly felt sick. Really sick. Luckily she made it to the toilet before she emptied her stomach. It didn't make sense how she was even able to throw up, as her last meal was two days ago. When she was finally done, she felt even weaker than before. All she wanted was to sleep and forget about everything. But first she needed to feel like a human again. So she forced herself to get up and slip into the tub, clenching her teeth together as hot water abused her skin. The water too hot, but Hermione didn't care. That was the only way she would be able to feel clean again.

After a few long minutes of rubbing her skin, trying to rid herself of all the reminders of Lucius, she was finished.

When she dried herself with a towel, she realized she didn't bring any clothes with her. But it was the middle of the night anyway. She needed to sleep. Searching for clothes could wait until morning.

When she left the bathroom, she hoped Lucius was already asleep. He had to be exhausted after everything he...after everything they...did. She still couldn't bring herself to say the word. Or even think it.

"What was taking you so long, Mudblood?"

Obviously he was not asleep. Why? Was he waiting for her?

She timidly tightened the blanket around her body and then hesitantly took a step towards the bed. Where did he expect her to sleep from now on? On the floor? Or on the bed?

"Come," he said to her and Hermione obeyed. She moved to the bed quickly jumped under the covers. He was looking at her, she could feel it. Uncomfortable with his closeness, Hermione moved as away as possible from him.

That caused Lucius to smirk at her as if he read her thoughts:"Tonight's activities have left me quite exhousted. You can sleep without fear. You won't be bothered."

She relaxed a bit at hearing those words, but it didn't make her feel more comfortable with him being that close to her.

"Nox."

Hermione nuzzled deeper in the blanket and then felt Lucius roll over, farther away from her. She was thankful for that, but she knew he didn't do it for her. He probably liked to have his own space.

She closed her eyes and listened for every noise the man next to her made. His breathing was calm and he didn't move. When she was finally convinced he wouldn't bother her, she closed her eyes. She had expected horrible memories would fill her mind, but nothing came, probably because she was too tired for that. After a few moments sleep overwhelmed her.

.***

When Hermione awoke the next morning, the first thing she realized was that she wasn't alone. She could feel someone's presence in the room. But she was alone in the bed. As she pulled herself into a sitting position, she listened carefully for any kind of sound.

There was breathing.

"I know you're here," she said, hoping she was right otherwise she would feel really stupid, talking to herself.

"Impressive," Lucius drawled from across the room, "It seems as your others senses are improving."

"It's called hearing," Hermione replied before she could stop herself.

Lucius was amused by her answer:"Well, I cannot say I'm glad you are talking back to me, but it is better than the mute Mudblood you were last night."

Hermione cringed as his mention of the previous night.

Don't mention it. Please, don't mention it.

"I was quite pleased by your willingness to participate," he explained, evil grin evident in his voice.

Hermione wished he would stop talking. Couldn't he leave her alone for just one day? She felt as if she was on the floor and he was still kicking her, enjoying seeing her broken.

"I cannot help but wonder what caused that change. Why are you suddenly so submissive?" then he faked disappointment, "What would your friends say?"

"You forced me," Hermione whispered.

"What was that, Mudblood?"

Hermione took a deep breath, then repeated with stronger voice:"You forced me."

In an instant he was beside her, grabbing her chin and turning her head in his direction.

"Do not lie," he spat out, "I did not force you into anything."

"Does that make you feel better?" she asked him.

Lucius released her chin with a hiss:"I gave you a choice and you chose."

"I was given a choice between death and sleeping with you," Hermione raised her voice, "I can hardly call it a choice."

"Does that make you feel better?" Lucius suddenly asked.

"What?"

He spoke in a low and confident voice:"How do you know you would die if you left my Manor?"

"Death Eaters-"

"True, we won the War, but that does not mean there are no other people walking down Diagon Alley. They aren't all Death Eaters. Maybe someone would help you."

Hermione bit her tongue while thinking about it. Maybe it was the truth. Maybe she would survive. But she was too much of a coward to risk. It was easier to stay safe in the Malfoy Manor.

"What is the real reason you decided to stay here?" he asked quietly.

Confusion showed on Hermione's face as she shook her head:"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Is that so?"

It didn't escape Hermione's attention that his voice changed slightly. It was almost seductive now.

"I stayed here because otherwise I would die," she replied.

Suddenly she felt his hand move up her arms to her shoulder, brushing her hair back. Her body tensed and she jerked away from him.

"All this time you were accusing me of having feelings towards you, but..." he paused for a moment, "Did it ever occur to you that maybe you are the one who became attached to me?"

Hermione opened her mouth in shock, but was unable to say anything for a few moments.

"I'll leave you to think about it," he murmured and than walked away.

"You are wrong," she shot back, but it didn't sound that convincing.

Lucius ignored her answer:"There is food on the bedside table. Eat. And expect a visit soon. Someone would like to see you."

"Who?" Hermione immediately asked, her curiosity showing.

"You'll see, but do not get your hopes up. He is not your friend," Lucius explained emotionless.

Hermione made a move to get up from the bed, when she heard his voice:"You were quite decent last night. But practice makes perfect."

With those words he left the room, leaving a disgusted Hermione alone.

She knew exactly what he meant by that. He was planning on taking her again. A sob escaped her at the thought of it, but she knew she was the one to blame for everything. She chose to stay with him and play his games. She had no right to complain now. As she searched for her robe and knickers, she found herself wincing in pain with every move. He didn't expect her to be able to go through such pain again tonight? It was impossible. She could barely walk, yet alone....

She pushed that thought aside and dressed herself. She would think of that problem when the time comes.

After she ate the sandwich and the apple he left for her, she decided to take a rest again. It was not as if she had any other thing to do. And that was the most difficult thing. She was left alone in the room with nothing to do but to think. To think about the past, the present and the future.

To feel pain every time she thought of the past, to feel fear and shame when she thought of the present and uncertainty when she thought about what awaits her in the future.

Even though she was tired, Hermione was unable to find sleep. She just rested, but when voices and steps disturbed the silence, she jumped out of the bed, waiting for the doors to open.

When they finally did, she recognized one voice as Lucius'.

"...as the Dark Lord said," then he turned his attention to her, "Ah, I see you've been anxiously awaiting us."

"Good day, Miss Granger."

Snape! What is Snape doing here?

Shock made itself known on Hermione's face and in her voice:"Professor? You-you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, I have matters to discus with you," he answered coldly.

"I will leave you two alone now," Lucius said and then walked over to Hermione and leaned to whisper in her ear:"Make him feel welcome."

Hermione struggled to stay still, not wanting to show weakness in front of Snape.

"It will only take a few minutes, Lucius," Snape said in his buisness voice.

"Alright. I will wait for you downstairs. We still have some things to arrange."

With those words Lucius left, closing the doors behind him.

Suddenly something occurred to Hermione. She was alone in the bedroom with Snape. A Death Eater. Slowly fear started to build inside of her as she wondered about the reason behind his visit.

Snape cleared his throat, then asked:"How are you, Miss Granger?"

"I...Fine," she answered automatically, then shook her head in confusion:"What...Why are you here?"

"You are still the insuferable-know-it-all," he sneered at her.

"You'll be pleased to know I've changed quite a bit since those times, Professor."

"Those times?" he asked surprised, "You talk about it as if a few years have passed since you were at Hogwarts."

"It seems that way to me. I'm not that Hermione Granger anymore," she whispered more to herself, but Snape heard her.

"I assure you, Miss Granger, that you seem the same to me," Snape replied.

Memories of Lucius panting on top of her, his hands everywhere on her body suddenly came into her head.

"If you knew..." Hermione trailed off, then remembered who she was talking to. He was a traitor. He was the reason they lost the War. He betrayed them all and she should hate him because of it. But he seemed exactly the same as he was at school and that confused her.

"Why are you here?" she asked again after a few moments, "Is...is there something wrong with Ginny?"

"Ginevra is fine, but I am here because of her."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed before continuing:"She asked me to come see you."

"And you..." Hermione couldn't believe his words, "You came here just because she asked you to?"

"You do not know how persistent she can be," he explained with annoyance in his voice, "And besides, I myself wanted to see you."

"I don't understand," Hermione hugged herself with her hands, "Ginny hates me and so do you."

"Ginevra does not hate you. Nor do I. True, she was furious because of what you did, but when she calmed down, she realized how immature she was acting."

A small spark of hope formed inside Hermione and a weak smile spread over her lips:"Really? She isn't angry with me anymore?"

"She is worried about you and feels guilty because of the way she acted," Snape explained, "And because of that little stunt she pulled with Lucius, she isn't allowed here anymore. That is why I had to come."

Hermione felt as something heavy was lifted off her shoulders at hearing that. Ginny didn't hate her as she thought she did. At that moment she could cry from happiness and relief.

"Tell her...tell her I'm fine," she lied, hoping Snape would just leave after that.

"Is it true, Miss Granger?" he asked suspiciously.

Hermione blinked a few times and licked her lips nervously:"Of course it is. I'm alright."

Snape was silent for a few long moments before he approached her, stopping in front of her.

Hermione stiffened at that, feeling uncomfortable being that close to her former Professor while wearing only a short robe.

Snape spoke slowly:"Miss Granger, I will tell Ginevra that you are alright if you want me to, but do not lie to me. And do not insult my intelligence by thinking you can fool me."

His tone was slightly more soft and Hermione realized that she had never before heard him talk in such manner.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hermione let out, but not even she herself believed that.

"Being a Potions Master requires the ability to notice details," he explained, then spoke calmly, "I can see the bruises on your thighs, Miss Granger."

Hermione could feel herself starting to blush, but she couldn't stand it if Snape found out what happened last night.

"Living with a Death Eaters does that to a person," Hermione said nervously, "I've had bruises the last time you saw me as well."

"I know well enough what causes the bruises on one's inner thighs," he said determened and then continued:"I have noticed that you wince as you walk and the way you and Lucius act around each other."

He figured it out.

Hermione knew she had no chance of convincing him otherwise. What could she say? And besides, she was never good at lying.

Tears of humilliation formed in her eyes:"Please, don't tell Ginny."

Snape let out a sigh:"You have my word," then he paused, "But how did it come to this? I have known Lucius for over twenty years. He would never lower himself enough to touch a...Mudblood on his free will."

"I guess you don't know him well enough, Professor," Hermione said sadly.

"I know it is none of my business, but something must have happened to make him act that way. Did you provoke him?"

Anger started to build inside Hermione:"What does that matter? Even if I did, he had no right to...I-I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this."

"I apologize. I will be going now," Snape informed her, then took a deep breath:"Miss Granger, despite the popular beliefs, I do care about children I used to teach."

"Of course you do," Hermione barked at him, "You cared about us so much that you betrayed us all."

That seemed to hit his nerve as he raised his voice:"Do not talk about things you do not know."

"Just go, Professor. Tell Ginny I'm alright and that she doesn't have to worry about me," Hermione forced herself to say, then she took a step back from Snape.

"Gryffindors are known for their bravery, but do not let that bravery to cost you your life," he advised her, then left the room.

Hermione closed her eyes as she tried to calm down. If Snape only knew that she wasn't a Gryffindor anymore... What would he say if he found out what happened last night? Would it shock him knowing that she asked Lucius to take her and begged him to make her his whore. All because she was afraid of leaving him. Afraid of being alone, without his protection anymore.

At that moment she heard Lucius' words clearly in her mind.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe you are the one who became attached to me?"

Was he right? She never denied feeling safe with him, but was it possible that it grew into something more? He was the only person she had any contact with in almost a month. Was it possible that all the times she was accusing him of feeling something for her, she was just trying to hide her own feelings?

A/N: Hey, guys! I'm sorry for the wait, but this chapter was hard for me to write. I struggled with the decision, but then decided this is the way I want the story to progress. I hope you like it or at least think it's worth reading. I know some of you won't like what happened in this chapter, but it needed to be done. Lucius and Hermione have been playing with fire for too long and something had to happen. Thanks for all the great reviews and tell me what you think.