chapter 19 TRUST
Hermione wasn't the same girl as she used to be. She barely recognized herself anymore. Everything she had done, everything she had been reduced to changed her. She was ashamed of that. She didn't want people to know what kind of a girl she was now.
That was why the fact that Snape knew what happened between her and Lucius made her feel deeply ashamed and disgusted with herself.
Snape knew. All Hermione wanted to do at the moment her former Professor told her he knew exactly what happened between her and Lucius, was to crawl into a hole and never come out. Snape wasn't supposed to find out. No one was supposed to discover what happened last night. It was her dirty secret. But how did she expect to hide such a thing from a man like Snape? Especially when it happened only a few hours ago.
But why did she feel ashamed? It wasn't as if she had any other option. Choosing death was not an option for her. When she thought about it, she realized that in fact she did not have other choice. Lucius only made it seem that she did, so he could blame her for everything. She chose to stay with him, so she had no right to accuse Lucius for forcing her into anything. He was the master of manipulation and Hermione could not compare to him. She wasn't as manipulating as he was, but she wasn't stupid. And her was strong willed and people always had trouble convincing her into something she did not agree with.
He did force her. That fact was clear to Hermione. She wasn't as good in mind games as Lucius was, but she wasn't that thick headed and easy controlled either. He forced her by cutting off all other options from her.
And in the middle of... it, she once said 'no' and tried to make him stop, but he didn't listen. He never intended to stop or give her the chance to choose. He did with her what he wanted. Hermione somehow knew that even if she changed her mind and decided to fight back, it wouldn't matter anymore.
But then why did she feel ashamed? Why did she blush in embarrassment in front of Snape? Why didn't she want anyone to know what happened? Why did she feel dirty? He was the one who should be ashamed and disgusted with himself. He was a grown man and he was forcing himself on a young girl. A girl his son's age. Everything was complicated and the more Hermione thought about it, the more she felt disgusted with herself. Not knowing what to do, she decided to take a bath again. Even though she took one only a few hours ago, she still didn't feel completely clean. It seemed to her as if Lucius' smell was still on her skin.
With almost two months of blindness, it wasn't difficult anymore to find a way to the bathroom. Hermione knew the bedroom all to well now and she knew exactly where things were so she didn't bump into them anymore.
A few minutes later she was already relaxing in the hot water, but dark thoughts were on her mind even though she tried desperately to ignore it.
But no matter how hard she wanted to blind those memories out, the feel of Lucius' skin on hers, his breath on her neck, his cold voice whispering into her ear, still made it's way into her mind and she realized that those memories will never stop hunting her. She would remember it every single day until the rest of her life.
But... could she somehow make it stop replaying inside her head? Was there a way to make all the memories disappear and stop haunting her?
Suddenly she remembered something from the past. In her first days with Lucius Malfoy suicide was constantly on her mind. Every time he hit her or humiliated her or when she lay broken on the floor, she wondered what would it feel like to just end it all. To take her life in her hands and save herself from him. But fear always seemed to stop her. Fear from what would come after death. And the death itself wasn't a pleasant thought. There would be pain. It was impossible to die without experiencing pain.
But Lucius had already inflicted a great deal of pain upon her and what was death compared to life with him? Lucius was the devil himself and after her night with him, Hermione doubted that death was the worst thing that could happen to her.
With those thoughts in her mind, she took a deep breath and slowly slipped down until her head was under the water. Panic was rising inside of her as she realized what she was doing, but she kept still. Everything seemed so peaceful under the water, no noise, no voices. The only thing Hermione could hear was her heartbeat. She couldn't help but wonder if that was how death would feel like. Quiet and peaceful.
But after a few more moments, Hermione could feel her lungs hurting with the need for oxygen. It was painful to stay under the water, but Hermione did exactly that. She couldn't explain to herself why she didn't move when clearly her body was desperate for air. Her curiosity was stronger than anything else. She wondered if that horrible feeling caused by being without air would pass if she stayed stubburn and kept her head under the water.
Her whole body tensed as she fought with the reflex to gasp for air.
Just one more moment..one more moment...
Suddenly someone grabbed her and pulled her out of the water. Hermione never saw it coming and the shock caused her to swallow some water before strong arms pulled her up and dragged her out of the tub.
"What the hell are you doing?" an angry voice asked and Hermione recognized it as Lucius'.
She coughed a few times, feeling extremely dizzy and weak. Lucius was shaking her roughly and demanding an answer.
"I will not ask you again, Mudblood!"
Hermione knew he was really furious because she couldn't remember the last time he had yelled at her in such a manner. When she calmed down a little and realized what was happening, she struggled to free herself from Lucius' grasp.
"Let go of me!"
The next moment she was pushed to the cold floor and then a towel was being thrown at her.
"Cover yourself," he said in a low voice.
Hermione didn't waste any time and she wrapped it around her body, her cheeks blushing with embarrassment.
Once the towel was wrapped around her body, Lucius grabbed her arm and dragged her to the bedroom. Hermione didn't struggle because she was still feeling disoriented from being without air.
Without words Lucius pushed her to the bed and Hermione could actually feel the anger radiating from him. She pulled herself into a sitting position and waited in silence, not knowing what do say or expect.
She heard Lucius exhale deeply and then he spoke in a calm voice:"You will never again do such a thing. Am I understood?"
Hermione refused to answer. There was still a bit or a Gryffindor inside of her.
"Maybe it escaped your notice but I am the only one who is allowed to decide when and how your life is going to end," Lucius stated coldly.
Realization dawned on Hermione's face:"I wasn't tying to kill myself."
"Do not lie to me."
"I'm not lying!" she raised her voice, "I just wanted to...I just..." she didn't finish the sentence.
"You wanted what, Mudblood?"
"I don't know," her voice was barely a whisper.
"I will not put up with such behaviour," Lucius ordered, then continued, "If you try something like this again, you will not be allowed to take a bath alone ever again."
Hermione tightened the towel around her body as she spoke:"My intention was not to drawn myself. I just wanted to see what it feels like."
"What it feels like to be without air for a few minutes?" Lucius asked, then added:"If you were that anxious to know, all you had to do was ask, Mudblood. I am positive I could use a few new torturing spells on you."
Anger started to build inside Hermione and she got up from the bed, not wanting to listen to him anymore.
"Sit down. This conversation is not over yet," Lucius commanded.
"No, but my attention span is," Hermione shot back, not even thinking.
She was rewarded with a slap across the face. It was unexpected and Hermione let out a whimper as her head turned with the force of it. She realized that this was a first slap after a long time. He hadn't hit her for quite a while, but he still remembered how to hit to make her skin burn.
"You are becoming more and more disobedient, Mudblood," he snarled at her, "I wouldn't want to be forced to hurt you even more."
Hermione was rubbing her cheek where he had slapped her. It didn't make sense to her how he always succeeded to humiliate her. The logical part of her brain was telling her that she should already be used to his insults and slaps, but she wasn't. His every slap felt like the first. It always brought tears to her eyes and it made her feel like trash.
She slowly dropped her hand and pulled in her sobs so she could speak:"You don't want to hurt me? That's rich."
"It surprises me that you haven't already noticed that I only hurt you when you deserve it," he said calmly and confidently.
Hermione felt her cheeks burning with anger:"When I deserve it? What did I do to deserve being captured and treated like an animal?"
"I do not like to repeat myself. You already know why you are here."
"Of course! Because you blame me for everything that happened to you and your family!" she was screaming at this point, but it didn't matter to her.
"You-"
Hermione raised a hand in front of her:"And don't you dare hit me again! You don't have the right," she spat the words with venom.
At first silence filled the room, then Lucius let out a cold laugh and it made Hermione feel uneasy because she wasn't expecting that kind of reaction.
"Now I am seriously questioning your sanity, Mudblood," he replied, "I own you. I have owned you since the first day."
"Everything's different now," Hermione said quietly.
There was curiosity in Lucius' voice as he asked:"What makes you think that?"
After two people share what they shared last night, their relationship is never again the same. Even though it disgusted her, Hermione had to admit that she shared something with Lucius. Something she never shared with anyone. It was important to her, but she could imagine it meant nothing particularly special to Lucius. He had probably had a lot of women in his life, but it wasn't like that with Hermione.
She took a deep breath:"What happened last night changed things."
Lucius was quiet for a few moments, then he approached her and there was a tone of mockery in his voice as he spoke:"Oh don't tell me you're starting to feel something for me?"
Hermione's heartbeat accelerated, but she remained silent.
"I cannot say I blame you," he smirked, "I knew that you, a young girl with no romantic experiences and no contact with other people would become attached to the first man that touched her intimately. Does it disgust you that it was me, Mudblood?"
Hermione ignored his question and forced her mind to think of a response. She didn't need a lot of time, because a sentence immediately formed itself in her head.
"What about you?" she asked innocently, "A middle aged man with no family or love interest using a young girl for his sick needs because he couldn't get his kicks off elsewhere?"
Hermione knew he was probably burning on the inside with rage, but if he hit her or punished her in some other way he would just prove her she was right. And Lucius Malfoy would never allow that to happen.
"Your theories always entertain me," he drawled calmly, "Too bad they are never correct," he added with false disappointment.
"Say what you like, but you can't deny that what happened last night changed everything."
Lucius just snorted at that:"You truly are naive. I only hope you will not start acting as my mistress," then he added, "Now, I have work today which means I will not be back until evening."
Hermione tensed at the last word. Evening leads to night. And Hermione was terrified of night, because she knew what she will be expected to do.
It was impossible to not notice the fear on Hermione's face, because she was never good at hiding emotions, but Lucius said nothing to her. He left the room without words and Hermione fought with the urge to run after him and beg him to leave her alone this evening. But no matter how horrible she felt on the inside, Hermione didn't want to humiliate herself even more so she didn't move from the spot she was standing on.
When the doors closed, she allowed herself to let out a shaky breath.
'It would be alright' she kept telling to herself. The first night was the most difficult and she survived it. The second night with Lucius would be easier. But what if it won't be?
The first time Lucius didn't expect much from her. He was cruel, but he knew she had no experience. All she was expected to do was to give in to him and his will, but what if now she was expected to be more participating?
A memory sent shivers down her spine. She could hear Lucius' voice clearly in her mind.
"I tend to experiment. Sometimes it will be on the floor or against the wall-"
She sat on the bed and let disgust wash over her. Then she waited. There was nothing else she could do. Time became her worst enemy.
ooo
Everything was dark. But that was nothing new to Hermione. She was used to it by now. Still, she could sense that something wasn't right.
"You disgust me."
A cold voice cut through the silence. A familiar voice. Hermione recognized it immediately, but it was impossible. It couldn't be him.
Suddenly the darkness faded away and Hermione could clearly see a white room. The light was too bright, causing her to blink a few times. After a few long moments he eyes finally adjusted to the light and she almost had a heart attack when she saw her friend.
"How could you do that?" Harry spat with venom, looking deep into her eyes, "Sleeping with the enemy."
Hermione was shaking her head, trying to defend herself against his accusations, but nothing came out. She couldn't speak.
"We all died."
That voice made her turn around and she faced Ron. A very injured Ron. There were wounds on his body and blood was slowly dripping from him.
"Oh god," Hermione tried to touch him, but Ron screamed at her.
"Go to hell!"
"It's not that hard," Harry said from behind her. It was so strange being able to hear his voice, Harry's voice. But at the same time it had something devilish in it. Hermione knew it she wasn't talking to her friends. They couldn't be that cruel to her, could they?
"Well, Mudblood, I always knew you'd spread your legs for anyone. But...my father? Shame on you."
Hermione froze at those words. She knew who it was. The boy who hated her and insulted her every chance he got. The reason her life was a living nightmare. Draco Malfoy. She stood completely still, not wanting to look at him. She couldn't stand the accusations from him as well.
"Now is certainly not the time to be shy," Ron smirked at her, "We all know what kind of a girl you are."
"Sleeping with my father?" Draco's voice cut through her like a knife, "That makes you my step-mother, doesn't it?"
"I-I didn't have a choice..." she whispered, shaking with guilt.
"We all have a choice, 'Mione," Ron answered, "You did have a choice. And you chose him."
"You deserve a punishment," Harry said with an evil smile.
Draco spoke with the same cold tone as his father:"A punishment, Mudblood."
Hermione felt as if everything was spinning around her. It was too much. She couldn't handle it. She needed to get away from them all. Now.
Hermione woke up with a scream, but calmed down immediately as she realized she was only dreaming. She took a few deep breaths, then tensed as she heard a voice next to her.
"I think I might have spoiled you a bit," Lucius said to her with silky voice.
Hermione wiped off the sweat from her forehead and tried to push the dreams away.
"All you ever do is sleep," Lucius commented, "I could give you some books to read- oh, I forgot."
His voice was dripping with sarcasm and Hermione gritted her teeth together in anger and sadness. She used to love spending all her time behind books, learning new things and absorbing knowledge, but that was the past.
Lucius sighed:"Some of us actually do have work. And today's been especially difficult day," then he trailed his hand down her arm, causing her to flinch, "I wouldn't mind...a relaxation."
Hermione moved away from his touch and got up from the bed. As she did so, she realized she was still wrapped in the towel. Feeling angry at herself and her stupidity, she backed away from the bed and Lucius. She couldn't go through that again. At least not tonight.
"What game are you playing, Mudblood?" Lucius asked with interest, then sighed, "I am in no mood to chase you, so would you kindly get back into the bed?"
Hermione didn't know what to do or say. The last thing she wanted was to beg, but begging was not worse than being in his arms again.
"No," she finally managed to say. It sounded weaker that she intended, but at least she said something.
The next moment Lucius was standing beside her and Hermione flinched at sensing him so close to her.
"Wrong answer, Mudblood."
Hermione forced herself to stay calm, because she knew it was impossible to achieve anything while shaking with anger.
"I can't do it tonight," she confessed quietly, hoping he would understand and leave her alone.
Lucius took a deep breath as if he was thinking hard about something.
"And what is the reason?" he finally asked.
Confusion showed on Hermione's face:"The reason?"
"You do not expect me to comply with your wishes without a valuable reason?"
Hermione's cheeks turned red with embarrassment. What could she say to him? That she was terrified because of the pain? Because she was still hurting from last night? Lucius would never care. If she told him her fears, he would probably just smirk at her, satisfied with how he succeeded in hurting her.
"Can't you just wait a...a day?"
She tensed as she felt his hand brushing her hair away from her face. It was not typical for him to do such a thing. He never showed tenderness towards her and why start now? Hermione could feel the suspense rising inside her. And that was the worst thing she could ever experience. It was not the pain that hurt her the most, but the suspense. The time when she waited for Lucius to do something to her and all she could do was guess what his next move will be.
She bit her lip, then said hesitantly:"Don't hurt me."
"I never hurt you," he stated innocently, then added, "Unless of course you give me reason through . . . insolence or inappropriate behaviour."
"That's not true," Hermione shot back, her face suddenly hard.
"Is that so?" he asked with interest.
Nodding, Hermione brought back the memories of last night:"You didn't have to do that to me. Last night."
Lucius took a step back from her with an annoyed sigh:"You still insist that I forced you? I had given you opportunity to leave. You chose. Now deal with the consequences."
"You are right. I could have left the Manor and got myself killed. Thank you so much for giving me a choice," her voice was dripping with sarcasm.
"Don't you use that tone with me, girl," Lucius warned her.
"You forced me to stay here and I accept it," Hermione continued, "But you can't expect me to act as if last night meant nothing. It did. At least to me."
Smirk was evident in his voice as he spoke:"I can imagine last night was very emotional for you. But did you expect having your chastity intact for the rest of your life?"
Hermione blushed even more, hearing him talk about that.
"That's not what I-" she started, but was interrupted by him.
"Many would agree that I did you a favour, girl. Virginity is a burden I had happily relieved you of."
"It has nothing to do with-"
"You should be thankful," then his tone grew darker, "I have seen whores who didn't survive their encounter with Antonin or some other Death Eater."
Hermione remained silent at that, horrible images in her mind. Just a thought of how different everything would be if someone else took her as an award sent shivers down her body.
"I am a man. I do not cuddle virgins nor do I brutalize a woman's body," he paused for a moment, "You ought to show more gratitude."
Then there was silence. Hermione realized that Lucius had never been more sincere to her than he was at that moment. He was telling her the truth and for the first time Hermione accepted what he had to say. She knew Lucius Malfoy wasn't a monster. There were moments when she hated him, loathed him, but she knew there was always a reason behind everything he was doing to her. He wasn't trying to hurt her because of the fun of it. That was the main difference between him and the other Death Eaters.
"I am thankful that it was you," Hermione whispered more to herself than to him.
That statement caused silence to fill the room. Hermione could feel Lucius' eyes burning her and immediately she regretted her words.
He was silent for a few long moments. No voice came from him. Not even the sound of his breathing. Hermione didn't know what to think. At that moment she would give anything to be able to see his face. Was he surprised, shocked, satisfied?
When he finally spoke, he was angry:"Am I supposed to believe you?"
That question confused her. She didn't expect him to not believe her. Why would she lie about something like that?
"I thought it was clear that I do not like it when people lie to me," he said coldly.
"I'm not lying!" Hermione raised her voice.
"Shut your mouth!" he ordered, "And forget about whatever you are trying to achieve by your sudden obedience. I will not be fooled by a school girl."
Hermione couldn't believe what was happening. For the first time she accepted that he was right and she even confessed it to him and he didn't believe her. If anything, it only made him angry at her.
Why?
Was he afraid of getting too close to her? Hermione knew it was easier to stay in their roles of 'the victim' and 'the torturer', but a lot of time has passed since they were just that. Things have changed and Hermione had to confess that Lucius to her meant more than just a man who kidnapped her. She became attached to him, she spend a lot of her time thinking about him and him reasons for the way he is. Sometimes it seemed to her as if she was making up excuses for everything he did. It was wrong, but Hermione found it impossible to stop. What had he done to her?
Had she gone mental? She felt gratitude towards him when he rescued her from Dolohov even though he was the one who took her to him in the first place. Nothing made sense to her anymore.
"Why can't you believe anything I say?" she asked, determinded to find the reason behind his anger at her.
"Give me a reason to believe you," his voice was a low, dangerous growl, "I made your life a living hell. I fight for the Dark. I killed that pathetic Weasley."
A cold shiver ran down Hermione's body at the mention of Ron. She knew he died at the hands of Lucius, but it was easy to not think about it and just put it to the back of her mind. The pain in her heart was almost unbearable every time she did think about him.
"So pardon me if I think every word that comes from your mouth is a lie," Lucius stated, "No person would ever be truthful to someone who caused them so much harm."
Those words stabbed Hermione through her chest like a knife. She was a horrible person, betraying her loved ones and her principles. Even Lucius Malfoy, a cruel Death Eater, knew that. Death was too lenient for her. She deserved to be punished. She deserved everything that had happened to her while living with Lucius. She should suffer and hurt. A punishment. Just like Harry and Ron had said to her in her dreams.
"Alright," she suddenly said, lost in her thoughts, "Take me."
"Why that sudden change of mind?" Lucius asked with interest.
"Are you going to do it or not?" Hermione shot at him, "Are you suddenly not man enough?"
Still, Lucius did not move as he observed her with suspicion. Hermione decided to say something forbidden to her. Something that always got to Lucius.
"I see Draco took after you. You are both cowards."
The same moment that those words left her mouth, she felt something from Lucius. The change of attitude. It was impossible to not feel his fury in the air.
He pushed her to the wall and grabbed her throat, whispering into her face:"You crossed the line this time, Mudblood," his tone was murderous.
Hermione could feel his body shaking with anger, but she made no attempt to calm him down. She needed to be punished. Only that would somehow ease the guilt and disgust she felt. Without a warning Lucius pulled the towel away from her, dropping it to the ground. Hermione shivered as cold air touched her skin, but making no attempt to cover herself.
"I wanted to wait a while before I take you against the wall," Lucius sneered, "But I do not mind doing it tonight."
Hermione heard him unfasten his belt and she closed her eyes, waiting for the punishment to begin.
I deserve this.
Tears threatened to fall again, but Hermione knew she deserved the pain, she deserved to experience the suffering. Just as all the people who died in the War.
"I deserve it," she whispered silently, biting her lower lip, "Do it. Please..."
Suddenly Lucius froze and Hermione opened her eyes in surprise. The room was filled with tension and silence.
As Hermione opened her mouth to speak, she felt Lucius move away from her. She stopped herself before she tried to grab his hands and bring him back to her. Confusion was written on her face as she heard him walk away, than back to her.
"You are fooling yourself by thinking you have power over me, Mudblood," he spoke calmly, then threw something at her, causing her to flinch.
Hermione barely caught the material which she recognized as the the robe she had been wearing.
"Get dressed and get into the bed."
Hermione didn't move for a few seconds, trying to push the tears of humiliation back. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She threw away all her beliefs and pride by offering herself to him and he rejected her. For the first time she needed him to hurt her and he declined.
"You-you are not going to-" she started, but didn't finish the sentence.
"No," was his only answer.
Hermione could feel her cheeks blush with anger and she quickly put on her robe, gaining back a bit dignity with that. But nothing could ever erase the humiliation he had put her through.
"Why?" she asked with demanding voice, feeling pure rage rise inside her.
Lucius let out and annoyed sigh:"Because you wanted it. For whatever reason you needed me to hurt you and I simply chose to not play along."
"I hate you," she forced out, her lower lip trembling.
"Good."
By the noises he was making, Hermione could tell he was undressing and preparing for bed. After a few moments, Hermione approached the bed, unsure of what was expected from her. At that moment she wanted to be alone. She needed to crawl into a corner and cry her eyes out until she felt a bit better.
"Do you need a special invitation?" he sneered at her from the bed.
Hermione shook her head and quickly slipped under the covers, wondering how come he allowed her to sleep in the bed.
"Nox."
She still remembered when she was forced to spend the night on the cold floors like a dog. A filthy Mudblood who didn't deserve a soft bed or even a blanket. But Lucius' attitude towards her changed and Hermione wasn't just imagining it. He was allowing a dirty Mudblood to sleep in his bed.
Hermione spent a few more minutes to listen to Lucius' steady breathing and then she allowed herself to fall into sleep, hoping she would not be disturbed by images of Harry and Ron.
ooo
The mattress beneath her was moving. Hermione's eyes flew open and she felt Lucius moving.
"Damn it," he hissed and then got up from the bed.
Hermione wondered if she should let him know that she was awake. Was she allowed to ask him what was happening?
Lucius quickly dressed himself as if he was in a hurry and then Hermione realized he was going somewhere. Not able to lie still anymore, she pulled herself into a sitting position.
"Where are you going?" she asked in a raspy voice. She had trouble keeping her eyes open, feeling incredibly sleepy. She had a feeling it was the middle of a night and that worried her even more. Where was Lucius going in the middle of the night?
He didn't answer immediately, probably caught off guard by the fact that she was awake.
"I am being called," he finally said matter-of-factly. Hermione could sense he was annoyed, but this time it wasn't at her. Late night calls by his Master obviously were not Lucius' favourite thing.
"Voldemort," Hermione whispered, holding the blanket tighter around her body. That name sent shivers down her spine, but she still had the courage to say it out loud. No one would ever take that away from her.
To her surprise Lucius let that pass as he walked up and down the room.
"I will be back soon," he informed her emotionless, then added quietly,"Go back to sleep."
With that he left the room, leaving very nervous Hermione behind. She couldn't explain to herself why she felt that uneasy about him going to Voldemort. What if something had happened? Why else would he call him in the middle of the night?
Hermione tried to go back to sleep, convincing herself that nothing bad is going to happen, but her mind wouldn't listen to her. She kept tossing around in the bed, wondering how much time had passed since he left.
He will be back soon. He has to be.
ooo
He didn't come back. The whole day passed and Hermione was still alone in the room. The nerves wouldn't let her go to sleep or even sit still. She was pacing up and down the room, wondering what was taking him so long. Did Voldemort send him to another one of his missions? But Lucius would say something to her. He wouldn't just take off without a word.
Suddenly she realized how foolish she was. Why would he inform her of anything connected to him? She wasn't his wife and he had no duties towards her. She was just his award.
But still she couldn't help but wonder what was going on.
After a few more hours nerves were killing her. She had to do something. Anything. So she walked to the doors and tried to open it. Desperation showed on her face as she realized it was locked.
Not being able to do anything else, she sat on the bed and waited.
A few more hours later, she was yelling.
"Pippy! Pippy!" she was calling the House elf, but it had no effect. It probably couldn't hear her or it was ignoring her on Lucius' command.
Towards the evening she was resting, trying to fall asleep and stop thinking about all the horrific things that could have happened to Lucius and all the horrors she will have to experiance without him to protect her.
But just as she was about to lose herself in her dreams, she heard male voice. Instantly she jumped from the bed, waiting to see if Lucius was back. She flinched as the doors opened as if someone had kicked them open.
"What can Pippy do for Master?" the Elf whined with a bit hysterical voice.
"Just get out of my way, you incompetent creature!" Lucius snarled through his teeth, then fell on the bed, letting out a hiss of pain.
He was hurt. Hermione was by his side in a second, her heart beat getting faster.
"W-what happened?" she asked with fear in her voice. She hated the fact that she couldn't see anything, couldn't do anything.
"Nothing that concerns you, Mudblood," Lucius answered, trying to sound harsh. It didn't escape Hermione's attention that he was holding his breath as if he was trying to hide the pain.
"What did-" she tried again and then her hands touched his chest. It was wet and it seemed as if his clothes were torn. Blood.
Hermione knew what it was like to have blood in her hands. The images from the Final Battle appeared in her mind and she felt sick, remembering how she crawled just to find dead bodies around her.
She quickly removed her shaky hands from Lucius as if she was burnt.
"Master is hurt! Master never been this hurt before!" the Elf was panicking.
"What are you still doing here? I told you to get Severus!" Lucius shouted at it, then hissed as if it just caused him more pain.
The Elf turned and ran out of the room.
Hermione could not believe what was happening. She never imagined it would come to this. Lucius was never supposed to get hurt. He couldn't get hurt. He was...Lucius Malfoy.
"What happened? Why are you..." she couldn't finish the question.
"None of your concern," he growled at her, "Just stay out of the way and do not even think of escaping."
The thought that she might escape didn't even cross her mind. She probably wouldn't make it to the front door. Suddenly the Elf was back, somehow even more nervous than before.
"Master! Me tried to do what you ordered me to, but-but..."
"But what, Pippy?"
"A man... Pippy saw a man in the house. Man was coming up the stairs!"
Hermione couldn't understand what was happening, all she knew was that it was bad. Really bad.
"Who is in the house?" she asked the Elf, but got no answer.
"Answer, Pippy!" Lucius ordered.
Horror filled her as she noticed panic in Lucius' voice.
"Pippy saw him a few times. He was at the party. He is tall with dark hair and a wand with dragon's head on it."
Hermione was trembling with absolute fear. Lucius was injured and there was a Death Eater in the house. She concluded it probably wasn't a friendly visit.
"Philix," Lucius muttered under his breath.
Oh god. Hermione's eyes widened, terror flooding her. She could barely breath because of the fear.
"Get Severus! Go!" Lucius ordered than tried to get up. It only caused him to fall back into the bed with a hiss of pain.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked and tried to hold him still.
"Remove your hands from me. I have to get up."
"You can barely move!" her voice was hysterical now. In her mind she could see Philix coming up the stairs and walking into the bedroom, his wand in his hand.
Lucius took a deep breath:"Philix is coming here thinking he will be able to kill me. He has no idea how wrong he is."
"But-"
"I am not going to make it easier for him by laying in the bed," he spat with venom.
"Professor Snape-"
"He is not going to make it in time!" Lucius shouted at her, pushing her away and making a move to get up.
"You are in no condition to fight!" Hermione insisted, "I cannot even see you and I know that!"
"What do you want me to do, you foolish girl?" Lucius hissed furiously, "I have to protect us."
Hermione froze at that word. Us. He was worried for her too. He wanted to protect both of them. Why? His life was at stake and he should be thinking how to save himself. But he said 'us'.
All of the sudden something occurred to Hermione. It was a crazy idea, but it was all they had at the moment.
"Give me your wand," she said to him.
Lucius sneered at her:"I am injured, not stupid."
"It is the only way! You can't fight!"
"And you can? In case you've forgotten- you are blind, Mudblood."
"I can do this," Hermione said, showing no insecurity in her voice.
He said nothing to her and she continued:"I don't want to die any more than you do. Trust me!"
"Never."
Hermione clenched her teeth in frustration:"I can save us or at least spare us some time until Professor Snape arrives."
"Why are you doing this?" he asked with suspicion.
"I-I don't want to die."
"You do realize that by distracting Philix you would be saving me as well?"
Hermione's lower lip trembled and she remained silent.
"After everything I've done to you?"
A moment later she repeated with stronger voice:"I don't want to die."
She flinched as Lucius grabbed her hand roughly,"You are out of your mind," he whispered to her.
Devastation showed on Hermione's face as she realized that they were both probably going to die. Tears threatened to fall, but than something was placed in her palm. Surprised, Hermione wrapped her fingers around it abd recognized it as his wand. He said nothing more to her as he released her wrist. Hermione nodded and stood up, gripping the wand tightly. It felt strange to have a wand in her hands again. And it was a completely different feeling than her wand. Lucius' was thicker, smoother and Hermione could almost sense the power in it. So many people were killed by his wand. Ron.
She pushed that thought away and walked towards the door. She only hoped to distract Phillix until Snape arrives.
As she opened the doors, a thought crossed her mind. She was risking her life to save Lucius. She was protecting them both. She was afraid of losing him and being left alone in the world. It was pathetic. She was pathetic. But at that moment she couldn't care less.
A/N: Sooo sorry! I know it's been more than a month since last update, but my life's really been crazy. I didn't have time to write and I struggled with writer's block. I wanted to write something good even if it took me a while and not just publish a pointless chapter. You can expect an update every week. I hope you like this chapter. Tell me what you think.