chapter 20 BODY AND SOUL
A day ago...
Lucius walked elegantly down a narrow hallway that opened into a stone chamber. He was wondering what had happened causing his Master to call him in the middle of the night. It was possible that there was still a Resistance that was causing them trouble.
Lucius made a disgusted face as he thought about that. Dirty Mudbloods were like worms. No matter how hard he tried to wipe them out of this world, they always seem to come back. But it was a challenge and Lucius liked challenges.
As he entered the room, he noticed Voldemort sitting on a platform, risen above his subjects. There were at least twenty people in the room, most of them were Death Eaters that he recognized. He quickly scanned the room and noticed there were no captives, no Mudbloods or Blood traitors to torture. Even though he was in no mood to listen to blood-curdling screams, the fact that there were only Voldemort and Death Eaters in the room alarmed him. Something must have happened, causing the Dark Lord to summon them all. Well, almost all. He couldn't see Severus anywhere.
"Lucius," Voldemort hissed. "I've been waiting for you. Come here."
Obeying his order, Lucius quickly made his way towards the platform, sending a cold look to Philix as he walked by him. They still had some unresolved issues. Philix did not accept that there were differences between Death Eaters. Not all were on the same level. There were some that have worked for the Master for quite a long time and earned his respect as well as privileges that came with that. Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy were one of those Death Eaters. And there were also others that only wore the title 'Death Eater' to be able to enjoy that status, to participate in the torturing sessions and get women for their needs.
"Forgive me, My Lord. It was not my intention to keep you waiting," Lucius said and dropped to his knees in front of his Master.
"I heard an interesting thing, Lucius," Voldemort said slowly, "It appears that Antonin is dead."
Lucius remained calm, keeping his cold mask:"Yes, My Lord," he nodded.
"Stand up," Voldemort ordered and Lucius stood, his face hard.
"Is there something you would like to confess?" the Dark Lord asked carefully.
Lucius knew that it would come to this. He had killed Dolohov and hadn't gone to Voldemort to inform him about it. His Master was probably annoyed and insulted that something that important happened without him knowing about it. Dolohov was useless as a Death Eaters, always looking for fun and ignoring serious work that he was supposed to do. Lucius knew that Voldemort will not miss him, but that didn't mean he was pleased with the event.
"Yes, My Lord," Lucius spoke calmly, "There was a conflict between Antonin and myself."
"Regarding what?"
Lucius considered his answer for a moment, than deciding it was better to tell the truth.
"Regarding my reward."
The silence was broken as the other Death Eaters started whispering to each other and Lucius could feel the tension rise in the room.
"Silence!" Voldemort raised his voice and everyone stopped talking, looking up at their Master.
"Your reward?" he continued, then grimaced as if he was trying to remember something, "Please, remind me- what have I given to you?"
"The Mudblood, My Lord. She was Potter's friend."
A sick smile spread across Voldemort's face:"I remember now. You could have chosen a Pureblood, even though a blood traitor. You could have created yourself a new family after that...tragic loss."
Luicus lips formed a thin line at the mention of the death of his family, but that was the only indicator that he felt something.
"But instead you chose a Mudblood," Voldemort continued, "A filthy girl that is not allowed to give you family. A girl that you can only use for satisfying your most primal needs."
A thought came to Lucius. He wondered what would his Master say if he knew that he and the Mudblood became intimate last night for the first time? Would he lose his reputation and his status if everyone found out that he hadn't touched her for months?
"I am a man with needs, My Lord."
"I understand that, Lucius. But what bothers me is the fact that you ended the life of your colleague because of a Mudblood," then he asked, raising his eyebrow, "You did kill Antonin, am I correct?"
Lucius nodded and looked in his Master's eyes. He showed no remorse, no weakness. He stood behind his decision, because if there was something Voldemort hated the most was cowardice. Especially if it came from his followers.
"I did, My Lord. Antonin died at my hands."
Voldemort didn't respond but gave him a rather disapproving look.
It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.
After a few long moments of silence, Voldemort spoke:"Nothing should be more important that your fellow Death Eaters, Lucius. You are brothers."
Lucius almost snorted at that, but he decided it would not be wise to anger his Master even more.
"You mustn't let anything, anyone come between you, my faithful followers. Especially not filthy Mudbloods," Voldemort spat with disgust.
"My Lord, you have given me permission to dispose of those I deem useless," Lucius drawled.
"So you considered Antonin useless?"
"Yes, My Lord."
Voldemort's lips formed an evil smile:"Interesting."
Lucius said nothing and lowered his eyes to the floor, waiting for his punishment.
That caused Voldemort to look at him in surprise:"You are not going to apologize? Are you not sorry for what you have done?"
Lucius took a deep breath before answering, "I wish that I could say I am sorry. But the truth is that I do not feel any regret."
Again Death Eaters started whispering, this time louder than before. Voldemort nodded and there was something sparkling in his eyes.
"I admire your courage, Lucius. You truly are a Death Eater," he said to him icily, "But you understand that I cannot let a death of one of my followers pass that easily."
Lucius tensed, but nodded in understanding, already gripping his cane, ready to pull his wand out at any time.
"Lestrange, Greyback and Mulciber," Voldemort called out, "Approach."
They walked out of the crowd and dropped to their knees in front of him.
"You will fight Lucius. Begin," he ordered with a devilish smile.
Lucius wasted no time as he quickly pulled out his wand and pointed it at them, sending the first spell.
ooo
What the hell am I doing?
That was the question in Hermione's head as she walked out of the bedroom, gripping the wand tightly in her shaky hand. It seemed as if her confidence disappeared the moment she stepped out of the room.
She couldn't get over the shock that Lucius actually gave her his wand. Never in her life had she imagined that he would voluntary give her his wand. Lucius Malfoy gave her his wand. She tried to push away those thoughts and emotions that came with it. Surprise, shock and something else. There was a strange feeling. Somehow Hermione felt even connected to Lucius. It was as if they formed some kind of a bond.
Immediately her mind went blank as she heard a noise. Steps. Someone was walking towards her. She could hear boots clicking and making a sound that couldn't be ignored. He was obviously not even trying to hide that he was in the house. Hermione hid the wand behind her back, waiting to see what would happen.
"Well, what do we have here?" a hoarse voice came from a distance.
Hermione tensed, but stood still. She couldn't send any spells if she didn't know exactly where he was. She only hoped that Philix wouldn't decide to attack her. Hopefully he wouldn't see a threat in her and wouldn't bother enough to kill her. Hermione knew that his primarily goal was Lucius.
"Sweetie, can you tell me where Lucius is?" he asked and approached her, "He left the meeting seriously hurt and I would like to see how he is doing."
He was completely calm and controlled. Anyone else might think that he was telling the truth, but Hermione knew better than that.
"He's not here," she lied, "He didn't come back."
"Is that so?" Philix asked with interest.
Hermione nodded, keeping a calm expression, even though the nerves were killing her. She was so close to death that she could touch it. She still wasn't able to determine where Philix was standing. Her only hope of survival was that she somehow convinces Philix to leave.
"Than whose is that blood on your hands?" he suddenly asked, catching her off guard.
Hermione's eyes widened with shock. She had completely forgotten about the fact that she had touched Lucius. She was thinking about what she should say, but her thoughts were interrupted.
"I don't know why am I losing my time with you, when I can find Lucius myself," Philix hissed and made his way towards Hermione.
As she heard him walking to her, she determined his position. In a second the wand was defensively aimed in Philix' direction.
"Stupify!" she shrieked.
"Protego!"
Hermione froze at that moment. She had expected to succeed with the first spell. Obviously she was not fast enough. Or she had never been in a duel with an experienced Death Eater before.
"Expelliarmus!" Hermione cried out and was filled with hope when she heard the sound of Phillix' wand hitting the wall.
She opened her mouth to send another spell, but suddenly the wand flew out of her hand. It caught her completely off guard, because she was convinced that she had already won the battle.
She realized with horror that she no longer had the thing that could save her. Save both of them.
There was a murderous silence until Philix laughed.
"Did you truly think that you stood a chance against an experienced wizard?" he asked, moving towards her until Hermione could feel his breath against her face.
"I can kill you before you even pronounce the first letter of the spell," he said with a smirk, than added, "It's called wandless magic."
Hermione had never been so afraid in her life. Everything was lost. She lost. No one would be able to protect her from now on. He would not be able to save her this time.
Her throat closed up and breathing became almost an impossible task.
"I assume Lucius' bedroom is behind you," Philix continued, "I wonder how you got your hands on his wand. The wand is his, isn't it?"
Hermione said nothing as she trembled in absolute horror, waiting for a miracle to happen. But miracles do not exist. She had learned that a long time ago.
"I cannot wait to tell my Lord how I discovered a Mudblood with Lucius' wand. My Master will not be pleased by the fact that Lucius is risking everything for a filth like you," he spat the last part with disgust.
"Your kind is used for pleasure and nothing more. Lucius crossed that line," he explained in a cruel voice.
"You don't know what you're talking about," Hermione whispered, but her determination was clear as she spoke.
Philix decided to ignore her comment:"Stay here while I visit my dear friend Lucius. You will not move from the spot if you know what is good for you."
"Why? Just kill me," Hermione forced through her teeth.
"No. You might show useful for me in the future. I, myself, do not have Mudblood at home. But it seems that that fact might change."
"I'd rather die than go anywhere with you," Hermione shot back, her teeth clenched together in anger and fear.
"Why?" he asked innocently, "Because I am not Lucius?"
When she said nothing to that, Philix continued:"I have to thank you. I presume Lucius is in the bedroom, hurt and without a wand. You have made it easier for me," with those words he walked to where his wand was and picked it up.
Hermione realized with guilt that he was right. If only she hadn't been that foolish, thinking that she could fight off a Death Eater. If only she hadn't taken the wand away from Lucius. He would have been able to fight off Philix, even though he was hurt.
Than Philix tried to walk past her, but Hermione quickly stepped in front of him and the doors, not letting him pass.
"Move," he ordered coldly.
"No."
Without a warning she was grabbed roughly and pushed to the floor. Before Philix had a chance to enter the bedroom, Hermione pulled herself up and jumped on him. He let out an angry growl as he tried to get her off of him. Hermione didn't even know what was she doing or why was she doing it. She knew it was impossible for her to win in a physical fight with him, but she couldn't just stand by and watch him kill Lucius. What would happen to her after his death?
In the midst of the fight Hermione hit the wall with her back, crying out, but still not letting go of Philix. She was scratching and biting him, but it didn't do any good. Philix was finally able to grab her hand and pull her off of him. Then something unexpected happened. He pushed her away from him, but she tripped. Where there was supposed to be something to step on, was nothing. Hermione's ankle twisted in a strange way and then she fell. Hard. But she couldn't stop falling. She kept spinning, rolling around, hard floors were hitting every part of her body. Immediately she realized what was happening. She was falling down the stairs. She screamed and tried to protect her head with her hands, but everything was useless. Everything was spinning around her until she finally landed on the hard floor with a loud thud.
The pain.
That was the first thing she realized. Just yesterday she was begging Lucius to hurt her, to give her pain, but now all she wanted was for it go away.
She was on her back with her arm twisted strangely underneath her body, not even trying to move.
"That will keep you calm," she heard Philix say from up the stairs. His voice seemed to be so far away.
"Avada Kedavra!"
Hermione flinched as she heard that curse. It wasn't Philix's voice. She closed her eyes as the unmistakable sound of a body hitting the ground cut through the silence.
"Granger!" someone called out to her and than ran towards her.
It was Snape. Pure relief flooded through Hermione. They were safe. Everything was alright.
Snape kneeled down to Hermione's unmoving body and gently touched her face, trying to get some kind of a response from her.
"Where are you hurt?"
Hermione opened her eyes and was surprised by the sight in front of her. She could see a man in dark robes with dark hair hovering above her. She quickly closed her eyes, thinking her mind was playing tricks with her.
"Open your eyes, Miss Granger," Snape ordered in the tone he usually used with his students.
Hermione obeyed and once again was she faced with the image of Snape. It was not a clear image, but it was still something.
Hermione knew it was not wise to get her hopes up. Her sight had returned for a few moments in the past, but it never lasted. So she closed her eyes again, not wanting to be hurt by false hope again.
"Where are you hurt?" Snape asked, annoyed by her silence.
"I'm not hurt," Hermione let out and than tried to pull herself into a sitting position. As she moved, she suddenly cried out at the immense pain in her back. Snape forced her to lie back down.
"I will levitate you to the room. Do not move," he said to her.
Hermione obeyed because she didn't have a choice. Only a moment later she felt herself being lifted off the floors. It was a pleasant feeling, so she relaxed. Then suddenly she tensed as she remembered the earlier events.
"Philix! He-" she started.
"He's dead," those were the only words from Snape.
Hermione wasn't sure if some kind of a sleeping spell was used on her, because she suddenly felt extremely sleepy and tired.
"Lucius..." she managed to say before she lost herself in dreamless sleep.
ooo
Hermione woke up, feeling sore. Even the soft mattress beneath her was hurting her. Her eyelids seemed too heavy to lift them. Pull yourself together, she told herself. Than she forced her eyes open slowly, trying to adjust them to the sunlight that pervaded the room.
Sunlight?
Surprise shot through her as the image before her eyes became clear. She could see everything. It was not a blurred image, but completely clear.
The room was huge, at least three times bigger than her room in the Burrow, and the floor was made of dark wood. There was a huge soft looking, beige rug in front of the bed. The walls were of a dark green that would have made the room look dark, if there weren't the two windows next to the bed that let lots of sunshine in. Across from the bed were two doors. One probably let led to the corridor and the other one to the bathroom. Hermione turned around, giving a big sofa on the other side of the door only a brief glance, still completely shocked that she was able to see.
Taking a deep breath, she blinked a few times. Then she closed her eyes and waited. She was positive that her sight would go away after a few moments. It had happened before.
But when she opened her eyes she could still see everything. Her heart was beating too fast, but she didn't even try to calm down. All that mattered to her was that she could see again.
She tried to get up from the bed, but he moment her left foot touched the floor, she cried out in pain.
It caused the memories of the earlier events to come flooding back to her. Suddenly she remembered everything. Philix, the stairs, Snape.
Her fall down the stairs probably caused her injured ankle. She tried moving it a bit and came to a conluson it was sprained, not broken.
Lucius! Was he-
No, she didn't even want to think about it. He couldn't be.
Again she tried to get up from the bed, this time putting all of her weight on the right leg. Somehow she managed to get to the window. She gasped as she saw the view. It was beautiful. There was a giant garden, trees as far as the eyes could see. That was all she could see from the window. She was probably on the third or second floor.
For a few long moments Hermione just stood there, enjoying the view. It was sunny and bright. She could almost pretend that everything was normal and that she was still at Hogwarts. Somehow it managed to fill her with hope, even though she was in a hopeless situation.
She didn't expect that kind of a weather. Given the fact that the Light lost the War and that good people were dead or treated as slaves, it should be rainy and dark. Gloomy and without hope. It was as if the weather was mocking her.
When she was finally able to move away from the window, she looked around the room again, noticing the dressing table with big mirror.
At first Hermione wasn't sure if she really wanted to see herself, but she gathered the courage and slowly limped towards the table.
Oh god.
She barely recognized the person in front of her. It wasn't her. It couldn't be. Her hair was longer and not as bushy as before. It was more wavy, probably because she hadn't brushed it in a long time. Her face was too pale and there was a cut on her lip. Hermione couldn't remember when she got it. But what terrified her the most were her eyes. They were so tired, without life in them.
She then slowly looked down her body, noticing she was thiner. Not too thin, but it was noticable she had lost a lot of weight. The nightgown she was wearing was white and it reached just above her knees.
Hermione looked at her hands and grimaced as she saw dried blood. It was from when she touched Lucius. She had his blood on her. Just as he had hers on him. She noticed purple bruises around her wrists. She couldn't remember when she got them. Lucius had hurt her so many times, that it was hard to know exactly when and how she got a specific bruise.
Than she got to the hardest part. With fear and disgust on her face she looked at her thighs. Snape was right when he told her he could see bruises on her thighs. She pulled her nightgown up, revealing even more bruised thighs. Now that she was staring at the evidence of what happened between her and Lucius, it made everything even more real. It hit her that it really happened.
She pulled the nightgown down with disgust and looked away. She slowly walked to the bathroom and washed her hand, removing Lucius' blood from her. His pure blood. It didn't seem that different to Hermione. As she returned to the room, the doors opened and Hermione flinched, not expecting it. In a second she had to decide how to act and came to a conclusion it was best if she didn't tell anyone that she could see.
She would keep it to herself for a while.
It was Professor Snape who entered. Hermione almost looked in his direction, but she stopped herself in time. She fixed her gaze at a spot on the wall and hoped it looked convincing enough.
"Why are you up, Granger?" Snape asked before walking to the bed and leaving a plate with sandwiches and a glass of milk on the bedside table.
Hermione allowed herself to look at him when he was turned away from her. He was still the same as she remembered him. Exactly the same. When he turned towards her, she quickly removed her gaze.
Ignoring his question, she hesitantly asked:"What happened?" than she added, "How long was I asleep? Where is...Where is Lucius?"
With the corner of her eyes she could see Snape as he crossed his arms over his chest before speaking.
"You have not been asleep. You were unconcious," he explained in a cold tone.
"How long?"
"A day. You were hurt after that fall down the stairs, but I have managed to heal most of your injuries. The rest will take time."
That surprised Hermione. Why would Snape heal her? Now she was even more confused about him. But she didn't have time to think about that. There were things that were more important.
"My ankle?" she quietly asked.
"It will take a few days to heal completely."
Hermione nodded and than silence filled the room. It was uncomfortable and Hermione wondered should she ask about Lucius again or would it be too strange. And she had to admit she was afraid to hear the answer. But she took a deep breath and forced the words out.
"How is Lucius?"
Snape was quiet for a moment before speaking:"Someone who doesn't know the history of the two of you would think you actually care for Lucius."
Hermine tensed:"I don't care. But my life depends on him."
"Understandable," Snape drawled, than sighed, "Lucius is recovering. He will be alright."
Hermione let out a breath she was holding and pure relief filled her. She almost smiled. Almost.
And that made her even more angry at herself. What the hell was happening to her? She still remembered the days when she hated Lucius, when she wanted him to die so that she would be free, but everything changed. She was different.
"I would like to ask you a question," Snape's voice puled her out of her thoughts.
Again Hermione almost looked at him. It was a reflex to look at the person that was talking to you.
"How in Merlin's name did you think you would be able to fight off Philix?" Snape asked with interest and a trace of mock.
The question surprised Hermione and at first she didn't know what to say. She herself didn't know what was she thinking.
"I-I just thought-"
"So, a thought crossed your mind?" Snape interrupted her, "Must have been a long and lonely journey."
Hermione bit her lip at his insult, feeling her cheeks burn with anger. She should be used to his cruel and sarcastic remarks by now, but he always seemed to get to her.
"I thought I would be able to keep him busy until...until you came," she explained and than said with determination, "And I think I did just that. If there wasn't for me, Lucius would be long gone by now."
"Maybe," Snape admitted, "Maybe not."
"It seems that Lucius didn't want to risk it, because he himself gave me his wand."
Snape nodded, than changed the subject:"There is food on the bedside table. Eat," he walked to the doors, than stopped, "I advise you not to move around the room too much. Rest."
Before Snape could leave the room, Hermione stopped him with a question:"How is Ginny?"
Potions Master exhaled deeply before answering,"Miss Weasley is... alright, given the circumstances."
"What does that mean?" suspicion showed in Hermione's tone.
"She will never come to terms with what had happened."
Hermione understood what he was trying to say. Ginny was a fighter. She always had a fiery tamper and it was understandable that she would never succumb to what happened.
Snape continued:"Some people simply cannot accept what has happened. The strong ones are not the ones who survive this world. The ones who can adjust do. Those are the ones who last a long time, Miss Granger."
Hermione narrowed her eyes at that. Was there a compliment hidden in his words? Was he talking about her? She was living with Lucius for almost two months now and she was still alive. Maybe she as weak as she thought she was. Maybe she was strong, stronger than she gave herself credit for.
Snape opened the doors, but before he left he had one more thing to say to Hermione. And what he said sent shivers down Hermione's body.
"Granger. Do not lie to Lucius. Ever," he warned her, "If there is something he hates is when people think they can lie to him. Take my advice."
With those words he left the room. Hermione was left speechless, confused by his words. Was he-was he trying to warn her about something? Did he know that her sight had returned? No, it was impossible. And besides why didn't he tell her he knew?
Hermione calmed down, positive that Snape knew nothing. Her mind was just playing tricks with her, making her think Snape knew what she was doing.
ooo
One day passed and Hermione was already used to being able to see again. She studied the room, memorising every part of it. She loved looking out of the window, observing the nature. Sadly she couldn't feel the light breeze on her face, in her hair. The windows were probably enchanted to stay closed. The first day Hermione lost half an hour trying to open it, but it was useless. That fact annoyed her. Why couldn't she open them? It wasn't as if she could escape through it.
The second day passed as well without anyone bothering her. Snape never came back to visit her. Every morning she found food left for her in the room. It was probably brought while she was asleep by Snape or the House Elf.
Hermione once tried to open the doors, but it was locked.
She had a lot of time to think. Now that she could see again things would be different. She was no longer completely dependent on Lucius or any other person. She didn't feel that helpless anymore.
But she hated to look at herself. The bruises just reminded her of what happened and Hermione didn't want to remember it. Her ankle was healing, but slowly. She still felt pain when she tried to walk normally.
With each day that passed she knew she was closer to seeing him again. And she needed that. She needed to hear his voice again, to have contact with a human being. Hermione was alone for too long.
But she was still scared of seeing Lucius again. And this time actually seeing him. For all those months all she had was his voice. His cold voice and his warm touch. But now she would be able to look into his eyes. To see what he is thinking, to see his expressions. After everything he had done to her, she would finally be able to look into his eyes.
Somehow Hermione was afraid of that. She didn't know what to expect. It would be much easier if she was still lost in the darkness.
ooo
Finally it came.
Hermione was slowly drifting into depression, having no contact with a human being.
After a few days of being left alone in the room, one night she heard the doors opening. She was still in bed with her eyes closed, but she just knew it was him. She felt it.
When he closed the doors, she tensed, realizing the moment finally came. The moment of confrontation finally came and she was afraid to even open her eyes.
"Lumus," he cast the spell silently.
After that Hermione heard him approach the bed slowly. But she still made no attempt to move. Would she be able to look into his eyes?
No no no…
"Mudblood?" he asked in his usual tone. Emotionless and cold.
It's his voice. God, it's his voice.
It didn't sound that he was hurt. He was his normal self again.
Hermione was shaking with anticipation. After a few long moments she pulled herself into a sitting position and opened her eyes.
She kept her gaze fixed somewhere in the distance. She still wasn't ready to look at him.
Still, she could see him standing next to her bed. He was dressed in dark robes as if he was going somewhere. Since it was the middle of the night, it was most likely he had returned from somewhere. His long blond hair was in a pony-tale, causing his icy gray eyes to shine even more. Hermione could see him looking at her and it took all of her mind will to not meet his eyes.
Lucius said nothing as he pulled the covers off of her body and Hermione tensed, not knowing what to expect from him.
He sat on the bed next to her and then he touched her. Hermione startled slightly, anxious about the proximity with him. Lucius' hand almost lazily made it's way down her leg to her ankle. To her injured ankle. Hermione didn't know if she could be more nervous as she was at that moment. His warm hand touched her ankle lightly.
"Lucius…." Hermione whispered, her nerves killing her. She knew he could cause her pain if he decided. But instead he removed his hand and Hermione quickly moved her legs away from him.
"Severus told me everything," he finally spoke in a calm and controlled voice.
"Philix is no longer a threat to me," he continued.
Hermione didn't know why was he explaining that to her. She had trouble breathing with him being that close to her. Being able to see him, but not to look at him.
"Philix was the one to point it out to me that I was too merciful with you," he said quietly, "A shame for Death Eaters."
"Why are you telling me this?" Hermione could feel her throat close up with fear.
She had the feeling he could see right through her. At least the light in the room was very weak.
And when he spoke again his voice was hard as stone:"I had to remind myself that you are reward for my hard work and I won't miss out the opportunity to take advantage of that."
He leaned closer to her face and Hermione could see him looking into her eyes. She was trembling, hoping he would not catch her lying to him.
He was close, too close to her. Before Hermione had a chance to react, he was pressing his lips to hers. She completely froze, shocked by what was happening. He had never kissed her before. Only that time when he was drunk, but she couldn't smell Firewhiskey on him now.
Hermione could not understand the feeling, the sensation that kiss caused in her. It made her feel warm, loved, safe. It was foolish to think that Lucius loved her. But after days without contact with him or any other person, she felt alone. She desperately needed someone to make her feel better. To make her forget what was happening. Even if only for a short time.
Hermione closed her eyes and moved his lips against his. She could tell he was surprised at first, but he hid it quickly.
In the last couple of days she knew nothing but anxiety and fear. Fear of what would happen to Lucius, what would happen to her if he….
Hermione hesitantly reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, trying desperately to feel something.
Maybe she could forget it was Lucius Malfoy who she was kissing. Maybe she could pretend it was someone else.
After a moment Lucius broke the kiss. Hermione's eyes were still closed as she trembled. She didn't know why he stopped. Maybe he was just curious or surprised because she wasn't fighting him.
Suddenly his arms were around her waist and he kissed her again. Harder this time, more demanding. Hermione had trouble keeping up with him and his experienced kisses, but not once she tried to push him away.
Without breaking the kiss he slowly slid his hands over her shoulders, pushing her nightgown off of them and down her arms, until her upper body was revealed to him. Hermione knew he could see her, because the room wasn't completely dark, but she didn't care. She just needed him. That was all that mattered.
Then Lucius removed his own robes, until Hermione could feel his naked chest against her own. She couldn't help but blush, but she said nothing to stop him. And even if she did, he wouldn't stop.
Lucius Malfoy.
She tensed as she remembered who was on top of her, who was touching her intimately. With her eyes closed it was easy to pretend, but she couldn't escape reality.
She tried to ignore that her breasts were pressed against his naked chest and that his hand was moving down her body. It stopped on her hip, much too close to the place Hermione wasn't sure she wanted him to touch.
She could still remember the last time. She remembered the pain, his rough caresses and touches.
"Wait-" she broke the kiss and moved her head to the side.
"Shh, Mudblood," he whispered to her, "Just give in to me."
And she did. She surrendered to him again. Soon he removed the last bit of clothing and moved her legs apart. Hermione's breathing hitched, her pulse sped up and he noticed. His thumb glided slowly over her cheek as if he was caressing her, but soon after he pressed his lips roughly onto hers again.
His hands were everywhere, exploring every part of her. He left no spot untouched. Hermione couldn't understand why would he want to touch her there, but when he did it sent shots of pleasure through her body. It was forced pleasure. Mixed with pain and shame. It was unbelievable how he could make her moan with pleasure she had never felt before with just his hands.
And then he was inside her again. It hurt, but not as nearly as much as the first time. He silenced her cries with a kiss and Hermione tried to concentrate on the kiss instead of how he felt inside of her. Eventually he started to move in a slow, steady rhythm. Hermione could feel the scars on his back and she knew she would find the same thing on his chest as well.
She kept her eyes closed and just surrendered herself to the feeling. It was an escape from everything. She could not think of anything else but him at that moment. The weight of his body on hers, his demanding lips on hers, the feelings he was causing inside of her.
She needed him to do that to her. She needed to feel something. For the second time she surrendered to him completely. Body and soul.
ooo
Hermione woke up the next morning with a feeling as if someone beat her up. Her muscles ached and she found herself wondering if that was how it will be every time. Was she supposed to feel so sore and bruised?
She couldn't believe what happened. She couldn't believe that she had allowed him to do that to her again. But most of all, she couldn't believe that she wanted it to happen. What happened between her and Lucius was not an act of love. Hermione wasn't that stupid. Lucius was a man with needs. And she as well needed something from him. It was impossible to describe it logically. And that was the thing that annoyed Hermione the most. She was used to analyzing everything and explaining it racionally. But what they did…they didn't need words. They were driven by urges, both with different reasons.
But maybe….just maybe they formed a bond last night. Hermione hoped Lucius somehow saw more than just a Mudblood, his possession in her as he…
"I have been thinking all night," a cold voice from across the room said.
Hermione's eyes snapped open. She thought he had left and that she was alone. She didn't turn to his direction because she wasn't sure she could keep her eyes off of him. Especially after what they had done. She wouldn't be able to resist looking into his eyes.
"You keep thinking you can play me. I am sorry to disappoint you, but I am no fool. I will not be made an idiot by a school-girl," he spoke with venom.
Hermione could feel the cold from his voice. He was his old self again. There was no bond between the two of them. How foolish was she thinking that something had changed? He couldn't be more distant than he was at that moment. But what caused that change? Last night he held her close to him, he was gentler than the first time. Why was he acting that way? Was it all a game? A joke?
"Look at me when I speak to you," he ordered.
Hermione turned to his direction, tightening the blanket around her body. She could see he was all dressed up, not a trace of weakness on him. He even had his gloves on.
She kept looking at nothing specific, hoping he would just leave her alone. She needed to pick up the pieces of her dignity.
"I will ask you this once, Mudblood. Only once," he warned her.
Hermione noticed there was slight anger in his voice. His next words sent everything crashing down on her.
"How long have you been able to see?"
A/N: Finally another chapter! We are slowly coming to an end. Thanks for all the reviews. Tell me what you think of this chapter.