Hey, guys! I just wanted to tell you that this is NOT the last chapter. As I was writing it, I realized that it would be too much for just one chapter, so I decided to split it into two parts. Hope you like it!
Chapter 27 It's always darkest before the dawn
Hermione could not remember the last time she felt that safe and protected and…loved. Being in Lucius' arms was a strange feeling, but at the same time it felt right. Hermione's hand slowly traveled up his back until it landed on his neck. Lucius' breathing was becoming calmer with each passing moment, but Hermione could still feel his heart beating uncontrollably. Did she have that kind of effect on him? As her own heart calmed down, Hermione tried to keep away the dark thoughts of what had happened. And who she was holding and who was holding her back and breathing into her neck.
And what the hell was she thinking by saying those three words to him? Even if what they did was...making love. At least Hermione thought of it as making love. The tenderness, the soft caresses and the way he was looking into her eyes had to mean something. It was not just a …shag. Or relieving the tension as he once said it. This time it was something more. And then she had to ruin it by saying those three words. The look of shock in his eyes told her everything. He did not like what she said.
Hermione quietly gasped as Lucius removed himself from her, rolling on his side of the bed. She covered herself with a sheet and then fear found it's way into her body. Why was he quiet? Did her confession bother him that much that he decided to ignore her? Treat her as she was nothing more than a street whore who was only good for bed pleasures and then treated like trash? After what they shared she expected him to at least look at her. But he turned his back away from her and Hermione was left speechless and with a broken heart. She could literally feel how something inside her heart broke as he turned away from her. She looked at him timidly, expecting something…anything. Did it really not matter to him?
She took a shaky breath and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. She could not explain how vulnerable she felt at that moment. After they shared something that intimate and personal, it was understandable that she expected him to show some consideration. It was unbelievable how he managed to hurt her without actually saying anything to her. Hermione heard him take a deep breath and then he finally turned to her, his eyes anywhere but on her face. It was as if he was avoiding her look. When their eyes finally met, Hermione noticed that he was different than he was just a few minutes ago. Lucius she was looking at now was cold and emotionless.
"Mudblood,"he started quietly, than took a deep breath again, "Explain yourself.«
He demanded an explanation. Hermione could see it in his intense look. There was no way out of that situation. She was forced to give him answers. But at the same time she could see fear in his look. It was as if he was afraid of hearing the truth.
"And for Merlin's sake, girl, think twice before say something," he warned her and Hermione knew exactly what he meant with that. He wanted her to take the words back. He practically begged her with his eyes to take them back. And how she wished she could. The last thing she wanted and needed at that moment was to fall in love with him. It was not acceptable. But it happened. And Hermione did not ask for it to happen. If anyone was to blame, it was him. Lucius was the one who caused her to develop such feelings. Why couldn't he be more like Dolohov? Hermione was convinced that if she had been chosen as Dolohov's reward, she would not have fallen in love. Dolohov would treat her as trash, nothing more. There would be no secret plans, no hidden feelings and thoughts.
But Lucius' behaviour was changing each day ever since her capture. He would torture her, then heal her wounds. He would protect her from others, he would show some tenderness towards her every once and a while. He would let her see his softer side. And those were the things that caused these irrational feelings to develop inside Hermione.
She looked away from him and bit her lip:"What do you want me to say?"
"You know well enough what I want you to say," he almost snarled at her, "Do not make things harder for us."
Hermione nodded, still not looking at him:"I know. I should say that I did not mean it, that I lied, that you heard me wrong."
"Good girl."
She turned to him and looked him in the eyes:"But I can't say that."
His gaze turned colder if that was even possible. Hermione knew that if looks could kill, she would be dead at that moment. He had such an influence on her with his stare. How he managed to make her feel like a little, insecure girl. But she would not allow that anymore. Not now.
"I may be a traitor, a coward, a whore," she spoke, her voice shaking slightly, "But I will not cover my eyes and pretend this isn't happening. I will not lie to myself."
Lucius exhaled quietly, than asked:"And what would that lie be?"
"That I don't love you," she whispered, fearing his reaction.
He flinched as if her words burned him and slight anger showed on his face. His lips formed a thin line and Hermione realized that his silence was more horrible than if he insulted her. How she wished she could read his mind.
Long moments passed and it seemed as if Lucius was frozen. When he said nothing for a couple of minutes, Hermione decided to break the silence.
"I'm sorry," she said to him. And she meant it.
"You," he finally spoke, "You don't know what you're saying."
He moved away from her, leaving a safe distance between them. Hermione shook her head, she needed him to realize what was happening. She needed answers from him as well. What was he feeling? His feelings were still a mystery to her. But she somehow knew she would not get answers from him. At least not through words. He rarely expressed his true thoughts through words. His actions said more about him than words ever could.
"I have never been more serious, Lucius," Hermione replied.
"You are a Mudblood!"he raised his voice a bit, "You are a slave, a mere possession here!"
"I know that!"
"I am Lucius Malfoy," he continued, disbelief evident in his voice, "I am a Death Eater, a murderer."
Hermione nodded. She knew all that. She did not pretend that he was Prince Charming. But her heart had a will of it's own.
"Then how dare you even think about having those feelings towards me?" he demanded, "You do not even know what love is!"
"I do know! I'm not a child anymore!" Hermione screamed back at him, "And it is all your fault! You made it happen!"
Hermione did not even have the time to react as he slapped her across the face, pushing all air out of her. Her head turned with the force of it, but she showed no pain in her expression. All she could feel at that moment was hurt and disappointment. With a hand on her bruised cheek, she dared to look at Lucius.
He was looking at her with wide open eyes and it seemed as if he was having an inner battle. His breathing was rapid and Hermione could see him shaking slightly.
Horrible silence was in the room and all Hermione wanted was to turn back time and never say those words of love. Lucius had not slapped her in a long time. And what hurt the most was that he hit her after they just shared something so beautiful and gentle. The same hand that had caressed her a few minutes ago, now hit her.
Hermione pulled the blanket tighter around her body and looked down into her lap. She could feel tears in her eyes and as her lower lip started to tremble, she decided it would be better if she stayed silent. She would not burst into crying in front of him.
Lucius let out a tired sigh and then spoke with calmer voice:"Go to sleep. Everything will seem different in the morning."
It was said with such calm determination that Hermione gave in. She turned away from him, but as her head hit the pillow she could still feel his gaze on her. Why was he looking at her?
Hermione wanted to fall asleep and forget about the conversation they just had. It was a pure humiliation. A quiet sob escaped her lips, but she quickly pressed a hand on her mouth, suppressing any sound.
"You need to realize that actions have consequences and it is pointless to cry over it later," he said to her, his voice hard.
Hermione did not know what to say. He obviously thought she regretted what happened between the two of them. It would be normal for her to feel shame and regret. After all she just slept with a Death Eater, her friend's murderer, a man much older than she was, Draco's father. Hermione knew all that too well. She was aware of the fact that it was wrong and that any normal person would feel shame. But she did not. And she did not regret it. If she could turn back the time, she would do it again. She needed her answers and she got them. At least now her feelings were a bit more clear than they were before.
"I don't feel regret," she quietly admitted.
What happened between the two of them was…special. It meant so much. It revealed a lot of things and it helped Hermione to understand herself. And the connection she felt with Lucius was unbelievable. She had heard before that such an act can bring two persons together, but she had never experienced it. As she felt Lucius' heartbeat, his skin on hers, his mouth on hers, she understood everything. She needed him. She wanted him.
As Lucius remained silent, Hermione bit her lip, then continued with stronger voice:"I expressed my feelings. It does not mean anything about you."
"You do not love me," he finally said, his voice hard and determined.
There was no doubt in his voice, he was completely convinced in what he was saying.
"Use common sense," he said to her coldly, "It is impossible for you to feel love for me. Not in this circumstances. Not in this life."
He said nothing more as he whispered a spell to turn the lights off. Hermione could feel anger building slowly inside of her. But it was not anger at herself, but at Lucius. She threw away her life, her beliefs and her pride to face her feelings. She was brave enough to admit what she was feeling. But obviously Lucius was not strong enough to confront her feelings let alone his as well. The man was capable to live in a lie, denying what was happening to them, what they were starting to feel for each other. Hermione knew that the only way for him to realize what was happening was to force him to confront it, because he would not do it on his free will.
ooo
Hermione did not expect it, but she slept well. There were no nightmares to wake her up in the middle of the night or endless conversations her mind was having with itself, keeping her awake. As she opened her eyes, she noticed that the room was filled with sunlight. It had to be past noon. She rarely slept that long.
Her face blushed as she remembered last night. She was probably exhausted which caused her to sleep late. It did not surprise her that she was alone in the room. She could not remember ever waking up next to Lucius.
It was a wonderful day outside. So peaceful and sunny. Hermione found herself wishing she could go outside and feel the sun on her skin. But it was just a wish. Something that would never come true.
She yawned and then noticed that breakfast was waiting for her on the nightstand. It was not what she would expect. Usually she was given a sandwich and a glass of water. But this time there was orange juice and fried eggs. Why would he give her that?
She pushed those thoughts aside and started to enjoy the food. She could not remember the last time she had such breakfast. It was delicious and Hermione felt completely full as she finished eating. Just as she was about to go to the bathroom, a horrible noise came from downstairs. Explosion. That was the first thing that came to her mind. But how? And why? What was happening?
She stood frozen, listening carefully for any sound. Her blood ran cold as she heard yelling. It was not Lucius' voice. She was certain of it. Panic was taking over her as she ran towards the doors, but before she could touch the handle, they opened with such force that it nearly knocked Hermione down.
The last thing she remembered before she slipped into darkness was looking into the eyes of a dark haired stranger and hearing the words:"So this is the Mudblood?"
ooo
Hermione groaned and opened her eyes, confused. All her attention was directed towards the hard floor she was laying on. Why was she-?
Then memories hit her. The explosion, the voices, the man in the room. She did not know what was happening, but as she connected the things she realized that it could not be something good.
"Finally you're awake.«
She flinched as she heard his voice. Immediately her head turned to the man, standing a few feet away from her, leaning against the wall.
"Lucius?"she asked in a hoarse voice, "What is happening?«
She pulled herself into a sitting position, rubbing her bruised elbows. Someone probably threw her to the floor, not caring if he hurt her.
"I should have known something like this would happen,"Lucius replied.
"What is happening?" Hermione demanded.
"They are rebelling against me."
Once that sentence was out, Hermione understood everything. Not even a second later, worry and fear showed on her face. But she did not know what to say. What could she say in a situation like this?
"A group of them came to my house," Lucius explained in a cold tone, "I was not given a chance to defend myself. There were too many of them."
Hermione was silent, fearing her voice would betray her if she decided to speak.
"Beriff is the leader," Lucius continued, "I should have known it would not be that easy to take over."
"What are they going to do to us?" Hermione finally asked.
It was Lucius' turn to be silent as he looked away and stared into space. Hermione swallowed hard and decided to drop that question. She did not want to know the truth. She was not ready for it at that moment.
"How long have you been standing there?" she asked as she noticed how tired Lucius seemed.
"Ever since they brought me here," he answered, without even looking at her.
"How long?"
Lucius took a deep breath:"A few hours."
Hermione looked around and it didn't take her long to realize they were in a dungeon. All they had was a small window, which they could not reach. And even if they could, it was too small to use it as an escape.
There were also wooden doors, but Hermione knew it would be no use trying to open them. Her eyes found the window again and she noticed it was still day outside.
"Why didn't they just kill us? Why lock us here?" she asked.
"They probably need something from us. Once they get it they will finish us off."
Hermione narrowed her eyes in confusion:"What could they want from us?"
"Answers," Lucius replied, then looked at her, "Answers from me. The reasons for my actions."
Hermione nodded, fear in her eyes. She was afraid something like this would happen. Just as she had noticed that Lucius changed, the other Death Eaters probably noticed it as well. And it was just a matter of time when they would demand questions. Then she realized something:"Why….why am I here with you?"
"Ask yourself why you are not dead yet," he answered.
"Because they want something from me?"
Lucius was silent for a few long moments, then he just shook his head and let out a tired sigh.
"Perhaps…they simply want vengeance. I killed the Dark Lord and they want to do the same to me."
"But why am I here?"Hermione demanded, "I am simply a Mudblood, right? Why didn't they kill me?"
"They might think you are a key to my torture," he answered quietly.
Hermione shivered as she understood the situation:"They want to use me to hurt you."
When Lucius said nothing, Hermione let out a nervous laugh:"Too bad for them, because it will never work. You don't care about me."
She observed him for any kind of reaction, but there was nothing. It was as if he did not hear her words.
Defeated, Hermione pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes. She could feel the fear and the anticipation inside of her, but at the same time strange feeling of calmness washed through her. Maybe it would be a good thing if it all ended. Her life. His life. There was no future for the two of them. Lucius did not love her. He did not even care for her. Death would be her only escape from the horrible life situation she was in. She would finally find peace.
ooo
There were times when Hermione wished she was locked in a room with Lucius, so that she could ask him everything she wanted to know and he would not be able to simply leave. But as she sat on the cold ground, looking at him across the dungeon, she realized that she did not know what to ask. She had the opportunity to tell him everything she ever wanted and he would be forced to listen.
But there was nothing to say. The situation they were in, was not appropriate for the conversation about their…relationship.
Hermione noticed it was getting more and more dark. The day was coming to an end. They had been in that dungeon for almost a day and Lucius did not move from that one spot. Hermione could see it his face that he was tired, but his mind will was remarkable. It was as if he would humiliate himself if he sat down. Of course, Hermione thought, he would dirty his robes.
"Why don't you sit down?"she tried, "You standing there is not helping."
Lucius barely threw a glance at her as he snorted:"Neither is you sitting there."
"It is not up to us," Hermione continued, "It doesn't matter if you sit down or stand there until they decide to-"
She did not finish the sentence, not knowing what to say. Were they going to be killed? Or questioned? Or tortured? Why were they waiting so long? Were they deciding? Or-
Hermione flinched as Lucius punched the wall, breaking the silence in the dungeon. She observed with wide open eyes as he groaned in pain and frustration. She had rarely seen him out of control and it frightened her.
"Calm down," she said to him, calmly, but barely able to control her heartbeat.
Lucius did not say anything to her. He seemed lost in the observation of his fist, covered in blood. After a long moment, his eyes turned to Hermione.
"What is it?" she asked, feeling uncomfortable with him looking at her like that.
"The blood," he simply said, still looking at her.
At that point he was starting to scare her. The way his eyes roamed over her was making her skin crawl.
"I have seen your blood many times," he said to her coldly, "And it looked exactly the same as mine."
Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she listened to him. He had never before spoke to her about such a thing. She could not believe that he was actually admitting his blood was like hers.
"Lucius," she started slowly, "I've been telling you this ever since you took me. Your blood is the same as mine. Not superior."
He looked at her and suddenly his expression changed. Hermione could see how his face went pale and anger flashed in his eyes.
"Don't you dare to say something like that again," he ordered her.
Hermione had a feeling he was fighting with himself. A part of him realized that their blood was the same, but the other part of him did not want to hear anything about it. And that part was winning. It was hard if not impossible to turn your back to something you believed in your whole life.
Hermione remained silent. The conversation was over. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall. It was strange. They were held prisoners, but she did not seem to feel great fear. Only anticipation and slight nervousness.
Lucius was the one who was anything but calm. As hours went by, he was becoming more and more impatient. Soon he was walking from one end of the dungeon to the other, his breathing angry and quick. Hermione could not stand it, because it was making her nervous as well.
"Stop it!" she raised her voice.
Lucius froze in his tracks and looked at her:"I have to find a way out of here."
"What is wrong with you?" she demanded, "Try to calm down."
He shook his head:"No. I have to leave. I-"
"You are scaring me,"Hermione admitted, noticing he was paler than usual. He let out a shaky breath, but said nothing. Hermione realized that something was seriously wrong. She carefully stood up and approached him.
"Lucius?"
"It's the same dungeon."
"What?" she asked, narrowing her eyes in confusion.
Lucius replied:"This is where they took me when I wouldn't obey the Dark Lord's orders."
Hermione opened her mouth in shock. She understood everything. The last time he was in this dungeon, his wife was killed because of him. His family tragedy started right there.
"I'm…."she paused for a moment,"Sorry."
"I will make them pay when I get out of here."
It was said with such confidence that Hermione wondered if he really was that positive that they will make it out alive or if he was faking it. But then something hit her. He said when he gets out. He did not mention her. That realization was burning inside her mind, but she was pretending as if she did not hear it.
Minutes passed by. Hermione could feel her eyes closing as sleep threatened to take over. It was ridiculous how she was able to sleep, now knowing what was going to happen to her. But she was already used to it. Living with Lucius only made her stronger.
"It's dark," she quietly said, noticing how she was barely able to see Lucius, even though he was standing just a few feet away from her.
"Your powers of observation astound me," he drawled.
Hermione smiled weakly at that, realizing how stupid she was saying something like that. It was not possible for him to not notice that it had gotten dark.
Hermione noticed one more thing as minutes passed by. The temperature fell significantly. It was really cold and she could not help but shiver slightly. Lucius did not have the same problem. He was dressed, wearing his usual robes, but all Hermione had was a short nightgown.
She hugged herself with her arms, trying to warm up. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. She was exhausted and hungry. That was the fact that worried her the most. Were they planning on giving them at least water? Hermione did not know about Lucius, but she was really thirsty already. Deciding it would be best to rest, she placed her head onto her knees and tried to think as little as possible, ignoring the fact that her body was shivering uncontrollably.
ooo
Hermione was half asleep, drifting in and out of dreams. She could feel the hard floor beneath her body, but then something surprised her. As delusional as she was, she realized that she was not as cold as before. She was covered with something. Opening her eyes lazily, she had to blink a few times, but she still could not see a thing. It was too dark. But she knew she was covered with a robe and it smelt of Lucius. It was definitely his.
A strange feeling spread inside of her as she realized that he had covered her with his robe. Why would he do that? Where was he? Too tired and sleepy to think about it, she closed her eyes and fell back into deep sleep.
ooo
"I always found it fascinating how you were able to find sleep even when in a horrible situation," Lucius' voice brought her back into consciousness.
She blinked a few times until her vision cleared, then slowly pulled herself up in a sitting position.
"What do you mean?"she asked in a hoarse voice.
"In the beginning, the first days after the war, when you knew nothing about my reasons to take you as a reward, you never had trouble sleeping,"Lucius explained, a curiosity in his voice.
Hermione noticed that she was not covered with his robe as she was when she woke up in the middle of the night. Was that only a dream? Was she imagining it? But it felt so real. Maybe he simply did not want her to know he gave a damn about her being cold.
"I realized that not sleeping would solve nothing," she said slowly, looking up at him. He was still standing across the dungeon, leaning against the wall. She found herself wondering if he allowed himself to rest while she was asleep.
With a sigh she looked towards the door, then back at Lucius:"No one came?"
He shook his head. Hermione felt desperation slowly taking over her as horrible silence filled the dungeon again. She was afraid. There was no denying that. The logical part of her was screaming at her that their deaths would be the best thing that could happen. It would free both of them. They were two lost souls who somehow found comfort in each other. Their…relationship was hard and painful and dark. But still, Hermione did not even want to think about being away from him. She needed him. She wanted him. It was sick and twisted, but she did not want it to end.
There was only one thing that could break their connection. Death. That would be the only solution. She would be with her friends again, with her family. Lucius would be with his wife and son, if there was an afterlife. But maybe they did not deserve to see their loved ones again. They both did so many horrible things in this life. Lucius took and destroyed so many lives and she betrayed her friends and herself by letting Lucius into her mind and heart. Maybe they both deserved to be punished for their actions.
"They cannot leave us here for eternity,"Lucius spoke, his voice dark.
"Maybe not,"she agreed then added, "But all we need is a few days without water and problem solved."
Lucius threw a glance at her:"I told you already, they do not want us dead."
Hermione stood up, desperation slowly turning into anger:"Then what do they want? Why are we here?"
"Don't you think that if I knew, I would not be in here?" he rolled his eyes at her.
Hermione made her way towards him, looking deep into his eyes, hoping to find something that would tell her was anxious as well. But there was nothing.
"How can you be so calm?" she demanded, "Stop pretending that you don't care what happens!"
Lucius leaned down until their faces were just a few inches apart:"Just because I do not act like a hysterical teenage girl, does not mean I do not care."
Hermione bit her tongue and remained silent. Lucius' lip curled up in a smirk and then he simply walked away from her.
"What are we going to do if they do decide to come here?" she asked a few moments later.
"Leave it to me."
Again Hermione felt anger rising inside of her as she turned to face him:"What do you mean by that?"
"Do not get yourself involved," Lucius ordered coldly, "Keep your mouth shut. Do not even look at them."
"If you hadn't noticed, I am here as well. You can't expect me to just do nothing to get us out of here!"
Lucius raised an eyebrow at her:"And what exactly would you do to help? Offer to annoy them to death?"
"There has to be something I can do," Hermione whispered.
"They are dangerous,"Lucius said to her in a low tone, "I do not wish to observe as they punish you for your inability to keep your mouth shut."
Hermione flinched at his words, realizing that he was serious. This time there was no smirk on his face. And was there a slight worry in his look? If it was, it disappeared as quickly as it showed.
"We must not show that there is anything other than hate between us," he said to her.
"Is there?"Hermione asked, but all she got from him was a cold glare.
"If you want to survive, you must remember this- you are my reward, my slave. You hate me, you are afraid of me.«
Hermione listened to him, realizing that was exactly how their relationship had been in the beginning.
"I use you sexually in order to humiliate you further-"
Hermione stopped him:"Why are you telling me this?"
"If we give them the slightest sign that there is something deeper between us, we sign our own death sentence."
Hermione nodded, realizing they needed to act if they wanted to survive. Then it hit her what he just said. Through his words he admitted that there was something deeper between the two of them. She looked at him and realized that he knew well enough what he said. There was no need to say anything. They both understood the situation completely.
Hermione flinched as suddenly the doors opened. It was the moment they were both waiting for, but at the same time Hermione wished that it never came. She froze in shock and fear, then Lucius pulled her behind him. Two men entered the dungeon. They were both in their forties, one with dark hair and the other one bald. They both looked strong and powerful, wearing dark robes.
"Lucius," the man with dark hair spoke first, "I assume you know the reason why you are here."
"Actually I do not,"Lucius answered, "Enlighten me, Howard."
The bald man sneered:"Do not play games with us. We have all been hearing rumors about you lately, but we were hoping it was just that. Rumors."
"And what proved you differently?" Lucius asked.
"Your order to postpone the attack on the Muggle world."
Hermione felt gratefulness towards Lucius as hearing that. So he was not lying to her when he said he would not attack the Muggle World. She did not completely believe him then as he never gave her a reason to trust him. But this time he was truthful and he kept his promise to her. Why? He had to know that would awaken doubts and suspicion in other Death Eaters.
"I still stand behind my decision," Lucius said in a firm voice, "I do not see the point in attacking the Muggle World if we are not united in our cause. There are conflicts between us."
"We are united in our cause. It is you who does not want to follow the rules. And as I remember, you participated in every conflict that we had," Howard drawled, "Dolohov's death, Philix's death, The Dark Lord's death."
Hermione could feel her throat close up with fear. So much had happened and it all pointed to Lucius. At that moment she could not see a way out for them. But why were they in the dungeon, talking to Lucius? If they wanted him dead, they would not be losing time speaking.
"I had a good reason for everything I did," Lucius said to them.
"Is that so?"
"Dolohov disobeyed my orders and did exactly what I told him not to which I take as a direct offence against me and my authority," Lucius spoke confidently, "Philix dared to come into my house and try to kill me."
"And what about our Master?"
Lucius took a deep breath before he spoke:"Our Master killed my family. I had every right to avenge them. And besides, our leader should be the one who holds the greatest power. Obviously, Voldemort was not the greatest."
Hermione flinched as Lucius referred to his Master by his given name. It rarely happened before. It just showed that he had no respect for him anymore.
"You have a good explanation for every action, Lucius, but you have to admit that it is strange."
"Perhaps," the bald man spoke, "the reason for everything that has happened is right..." he stepped forward and looked at Hermione, "Here."
A terrifying smile appeared on his face and Hermione hesitantly moved from her spot behind Lucius. If she had to pretend she hated him, it would seem strange if she was hiding behind him.
"Hermione Granger," Howard spoke, "Harry Potter's friend. A Mudblood."
"We've heard a lot about you. 'The brightest witch of her age' they described you," the bald man said, smirking at her.
"That is the past," Lucius added, "Now she is nothing more than a filthy Mudblood."
Hermione did not allow hurt to show on her face. He did not mean it like that. He was just pretending. He had to be.
"I do not understand why she is still alive," Howard asked, "Usually slaves do not last that long."
"I take good care of her."
"And why is that?"
Lucius' voice showed no emotion as he spoke:"She is a good shag. And she was Potter's friend. I enjoy breaking her. I simply cannot get enough of it."
"A shag? You could get that anywhere."
"I would never lower myself enough to visit a brothel," Lucius spoke with disgust, "The Mudblood was always there when I felt the need to work out some tension and I do not have to pay for it."
Hermione flinched when she heard him say that, she knew he was acting, at least she was hoping he was acting, but he sounded so sincere that it was hard for her to distinguish the lie from the reality. And what caught her attention was when Lucius said that he would never visit a whore. That meant that his lover, the woman he was visiting was not a prostitute, but probably a respected witch. She would feel better if it was simply a whore.
"If I get understood you correctly, you only use her?" Howard asked.
Hermione blushed as he and the other man looked at her. Their eyes stayed on her longer than normally. It was obvious they were searching for something.
Finally Howard spoke:"Pardon me, Lucius, but I cannot seem to find one bruise on her."
Hermione looked at Lucius and noticed his jaw twitched.
"I do not take pleasure in beatings. I see no point in acting like an animal," he finally answered, "There are other ways to break a person down."
"I agree," Howard nodded, "But still I suspect that you have lost your way, my friend. Are you not bothered by the fact that she is standing next to you as if she was your equal?"
He walked to Hermione and ordered:"Down."
Confusion showed on her face as she looked at Lucius, not knowing what to do. She did not even have the time to react as Howard slapped her, sending her to the floor. She could taste the blood in her mouth. He split her lip, the bastard. Lucius did not even look at her.
"This is where her place is," Howard said to Lucius, completely ignoring Hermione on the floor.
"We understand that living with her for such a long time, changed your attitude towards her," the bald man spoke, "And this is why we are here to help you. You are valuable to us, Lucius. We do not want to lose you."
Howard nodded:"We have a feeling you are forgetting what our goal is. Riding the world of those who are not worthy to live in it. Mudbloods and blood-traitors. They are worse than animals. They think that our power is their power."
Hermione stayed on the floor, listening to the speech and biting her tongue to prevent herself from saying something.
"They should all be taughed a lesson and then killed. No Muggle should be allowed to even look at a wand, let alone hold it."
"You are wrong," the words escaped Hermione's mouth before she could stop it.
Howard looked at her with interest and Hermione could hear Lucius let out a sigh of annoyance.
"What was that, little girl?"
Hermione could feel adrenalin pumping in her veins. She was going to die. If there was someone who had a chance of surviving, it was Lucius, not her. Why would she allow them to insult her if she was going to die anyway?
She slowly pulled herself up from the floor and raised her chin proudly:«I said that you are wrong.«
"Did your mother not tell you it was rude to interrupt when adults are having a conversation?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow at her.
Hermione clenched her fists and spoke:"My mother taught me that I should always stand up for myself."
She could feel Lucius staring at her, his gaze burning her, but she did not care.
"Well, your mother probably is not very smart, is she?" Howard asked.
Not even a second later, Hermione spat at him, rage on her face. Her chest was heaving with fear mixed with anger. Howard pulled out his wand and cleaned his face, his glare murderous:"You will pay for that."
Hermione did not move as he pointed his wand at her and suddenly she was pushed to the floor again, unable to get up.
"I see you have not taught her discipline, Lucius," the bald man said.
Howard stepped closer to her and smiled. Hermione could not look at him anymore, his presence was scaring her.
"Filth," he insulted her, then kicked her in the stomach, causing Hermione to cry out. A second later he repeated the move with more force and Hermione felt like throwing up. She could not breath. The pain was so intense that she could not prevent cries escaping from her lips.
"We will return later, Lucius. We still have to talk," Howard said, "In the meantime you can teach the Mudblood some manners."
Hermione did not even notice when they left the dungeon, she was in too much distress. Panic was taking over her as she realized she could not breath without feeling as if knife was stabbing her chest.
Lucius kneeled down to her and lifted her up, so that she was leaning against his chest.
"You stupid girl! Why did you not listen to me?" he said to her, angry.
"I-" Hermione tried to speak, but couldn't.
"Calm down," he said to her calmly, "Breath."
"Can't-"
"Take short breaths," he instructed, "It will pass in a few minutes."
Hermione nodded and did as she was told. Squeezing Lucius' arm, she breathed slowly, taking short breaths. The worst passed in a few minutes just like he told her. Eventually she was able to breath and the pain in her stomach lessened to some degree.
"Rest and try to move as little as possible," he said to her.
Hermione nodded and closed her eyes. Lucius cleared his throat and tried to move away from her, but Hermione stopped him.
"Please-" she started, but did not know what to say. She needed to be comforted and even though he was silent, just the feel of his body felt comforting.
"Stay here,"she asked quietly, burying her face into his chest, one hand on her stomach and the other one grabbing his shirt. She needed him to hold her, if only for a few minutes. To her surprise Lucius did not move away. He did not wrap his arms around her or anything like that, but he allowed her to press herself against him. Hermione realized that maybe he needed comfort as well. She relaxed against him and soon her breathing was steady and normal. The warmth of his body and the feel of his heartbeat made her sleepy and slowly she drifted off.
ooo
When she woke up, the first thing she realized was that she was not being held by Lucius anymore. As she looked up, she saw him pacing up and down the dungeon.
"How long was I asleep?" she asked.
Lucius turned to her when he heard her voice:"A few hours.«
Hermione nodded and stood up slowly. She could imagine how her stomach looked at that moment. Covered in bruises.
"How are you feeling?"Lucius asked.
"Alright, I suppose. I could be worse."
Annoyance showed in his voice:"That is right. You should be glad you only got away with a few kicks."
"I just couldn't let him say those things to me," she defended herself.
"But you have made everything worse by talking back!" Lucius raised his voice, then took a deep breath to calm himself down, "The next time they come back, I want you to bite your tongue if you have to, but stay quiet."
Hermione had to admit that he was right. She would never forgive herself if they both lost their lives simply because she was unable to stay silent. A few minutes passed in complete silence. Hermione kept throwing glances at Lucius, she wanted to talk to him, but at the same time she did not know what to say to start the conversation.
"What is it?" he finally asked, annoyed, "I can feel you staring at me."
Hermione took a deep breath, realizing that there was something she had always wanted to ask him. And now he could not simply leave the room and ignore her. This was the best chance she would get to clear things between them.
"Why did you kill Dolohov?" she asked, then quickly added, "You once said that it was because he touched your possession, but…"
Lucius met her eyes and sighed:"What do you want to know?"
"I want to know what you feel towards me," she whispered, fear in her voice, "These might be our last hours of life."
"Mudblood-"
"I love you," she cut him off, "And I know that I am betraying my loved ones with that, but I can't help it."
Lucius shook his head:"Don't start with that topic again."
"Maybe it isn't love. How could I love a man who hurt me so much? Who destroyed my world? Who ripped away my dignity and my innocence?" she could feel tears in her eyes while speaking.
"You need to get a hold of yourself," he said to her in a demanding voice, "Stop talking about love."
"What happened the other night, before we were brought here…." Hermione whispered, "When I asked you to kiss me…you were gentle. Did it not mean anything to you? Look me in the eyes and say that it was just a shag."
Lucius remained silent for a few moments. Then he finally met her eyes.
"Mudblood…" he started quietly.
Hermione saw something different in his eyes. It was as if he was fighting with himself, but no words came from him.
"Lucius, you can end it all right now," Hermione said seriously, "Everything that has happened, everything that I feel. I will not mention it ever again. If we by some miracle survive this, we will go back to what we were in the beginning.«
Lucius was looking at her, his face pale, his lips forming a thin line.
"If you can say that I mean nothing to you and that what happened between us the other night meant nothing to you, I will never mention it again. I promise," she forced the words out, her heart beating faster than ever.
Lucius' eyes never left hers and when he finally spoke, his voice was quiet:"I cannot say that."
Hermione's eyes widened in shock. For a few moments she was just staring at him, not realizing what he just said to her.
"You…can't say it?" she repeated, "You mean-"
They both flinched as the doors opened and Howard walked in, a serious expression on his face.
"It's nice to see both of you again,"he said politely, then looked at Lucius, "We have just had a meeting. The main topic was you."
"I'm honoured," Lucius replied sarcastically.
"There is one person who thinks you are still worthy. He convinced us to give you another chance."
Hermione could hardly hear the words, all what was on her mind was what happened a minute ago. Lucius actually admitted it.
"Come with me, Lucius," Howard pointed towards the doors, "We want to talk to you in private."
Lucius looked at Hermione. What worried her was that he did not seem relieved about what Howard had told them. Why did he still seem concerned?
"She stays here," Howard explained, "Until we decide what to do with her."
That's why he was not relieved. Hermione was too naive, thinking they were saved. It was not over yet.
"If you do something to her-" Lucius threatened.
"You seem awfully protective of the Mudblood, Lucius," Howard smirked, "But you do not need to worry. Nothing will be done to her. Yet."
Lucius looked at Hermione, his eyes telling her something, but she could not understand what. As they turned and left the dungeon, Hermione stood frozen, defeated. Her throat closed up as she realized that there was a chance she would never see him again. And after what he told her…After he finally admitted there was something between the two of them. Hermione could not believe how cruel life could be. It took everything from her, then it gave something back and now it was taking it away again.
But before she had a chance to lose herself in her thoughts, the doors opened again. Her face lit up with hope.
"Luc-" she started, then closed her mouth as she recognized her former Professor.
"Snape?"she asked sceptically, "What are you-"
"We do not have much time," he spoke in his usual voice, but there was nervousness in it, "I have came to take you away from here."
"Away? Away where?" Hermione could not understand anything.
"You and Lucius are in trouble. I have managed to convince the other Death Eaters that he should be given another chance. If you value your life, you will come with me, Miss Granger."
"What? Do they know about this?"
Snape shook his head:"They have left it up to me to decide what to do with you. I will convince them that you were the one to blame for Lucius' actions and that I thought the best thing was to kill you."
"Y-You are going to kill me?«
"Of course not, you foolish child!" he barked at her, "I will make it seem as if I got rid of you. I am taking you to my house until this madness passes. Then you will be able to return to the Muggle World, find your parents and go into hiding."
Hermione felt as if everything was spinning around her. Too many things were happening. Snape was offering her an escape. A solution. A solution she wanted a few months ago, not now. Not after everything that she found out.
"Miss Granger, take my hand," he said to her and offered her his hand.
If she stayed in the dungeon, she would without doubt be killed. But if she accepted Snape's offer, she would never see Lucius again. She could not live with that. She loved him. And he loved her.
"Professor, I can't…" she said quietly.
"What are you saying?" he asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion.
"I can't go…Lucius…«
When she dared to look up at him, she saw as his look went from confused to shocked as realization dawned upon him.
"Miss Granger, are you two-" he did not finish the sentence and he did not have to. Hermione knew what he wanted to say. She simply nodded.
"That is the last thing I would expect to happen between the two of you, " Snape admitted, shocked. He remained silent for a few moments and Hermione hugged herself with her arms.
When he spoke, his voice was soft and quiet:"Hermione."
She immediately looked up at him. She could not remember the last time she was called by her name. It brought back so many memories.
"You have to come with me. If you stay here, they will kill you. I was on the meeting, I heard their conversations."
Desperation showed on her face, tears swelling up her eyes:"But…Isn't there any other option?"
"Not for you. They might accept Lucius back, but they will never give you a chance."
Hermione was silent for a few moments, lost in her thoughts. Her life was destroyed once before and she managed to find the will to live again. She did not have the strength to do that again. She would rather die than live a life she did not want to live. For the last few months all the choices were taken away from her. But now she had the power to decide. And she decided.
"I am staying here,"she said in a determined voice.
"You do realize that you are signing your death sentence by refusing my offer?"
"I would rather die now, finally accepting what I feel and what I have, than spending the rest of my life hiding and thinking what I could have had."
Snape was staring into her eyes for a long moment, than finally realizing he would not convince her.
"I will not force you to come with me," he said, then sighed, "I hope you will not regret your decision later. I was offering you freedom and you chose Lucius."
Hermione said nothing to that. He could not understand, even if she tried to explain it to him. She would not be able to enjoy freedom if Lucius was not with her. Just the thought of not seeing him ever again frightened her. Of not smelling him, touching him, hearing his voice, feeling his lips on hers.
"I will do my best to try and convince them you are not the main reason for Lucius' actions, but I cannot promise anything," he explained to her and Hermione thanked him with her weak smile.
Snape nodded, then looked at her for a long moment as if he was seeing her for the last time. With a deep breath, he left the dungeon. Hermione knew she made a right decision. She could not leave after everything that had happened. She was trying for such a long time to get Lucius to admit that he felt something towards her, that she was not simply a dirty Mudblood to him. And he finally admitted it. But maybe it was too late. Maybe there was no hope for the two of them. But what frightened her, was the fact that even though she knew she was most likely to die, she did not regret the decision to stay. Dying with a reason was better than to live without one.
A/N: I am so sorry for not updating in such a long time! But I was having a serious case of writer's block. It's gone now, I hope. I just wanted to tell you that I was thinking about writing fanfic about Ginny and Snape from this story. It would be a parallel fanfic to this one, so that you could find out more about what happens in the Snape Manor and a lot of new information about Lucius and Hermione, especially in Snape/Lucius scenes. Because this story was manly writen from Hermione's point of view, you did not get a lot about Lucius and his thoughts, Tell me what you think. :)