Reason Eleven: Puck
Mr. Shue looked defeated. Santana was just quiet. Kurt and Tina were in tears. Mercedes and Artie looked close to tears. Finn looked ashamed. And Quinn, well she looked awful. Mike and Sam looked shocked. Brittany was just standing there with a sad look. And I was praying that I wouldn't be next.
"Give me your hands, if we be friends, /And Robin shall make amends" (Shakespeare). Never were there truer words. That is why Puck is number eleven.
I froze. She called me name. My nickname not my full name as she always does.
You are the only person I cannot begrudge. In fact you are the only one I will truthfully thank. You saved me. You might have been the reason as to why Finn broke up with me but in a way you did something good.
When we first dated and we broke up I was not sad about it. We were using each other to forget the pain. We were the same. I think it was not until later that I realized it but we could have been a really happy couple. At that time we were too broken. At that time we were too bitter. At that time it was not time.
When Santana said nobody wanted me you stood up for me.
When I was broken you offered to help.
When I was weak you were strong.
That night when I was making out with you I didn't stop but rather you did. You cared about your friendship with Finn and maybe you even cared about me. We were no longer the same as before.
We no longer needed to use each other. You stopped me and showed me you cared. It may have been your bond with Finn but you showed me that people can change. If you changed from a boy you was only looking for a kiss to the boy that stopped a mistake then maybe I can change too.
After I change maybe we could be happy is what I thought. I thought maybe we could make something good after I learn to change. After I become a butterfly that could join you in the sky.
I always thought Finn was the one for me. Recording this now I realize you might be someone I can be with. Even in our short lived relationship you gave me more than Finn did in our entire time together.
So Noah I dedicate this reason to you. You were not part of the spiral but you were part of an action that pushed me to the next reason. You were not part of the regret. You are part of the salvation.
Right now I am standing outside in the field. I'm standing in the bleachers. They are cold but I don't mind. It is here we broke up those months ago. Here were I realized we were in some ways the very same. It is here were I realized I may actually love you.
I never knew my eyes could burn. Nor that the splashes of water coming down my cheeks could be so warm. She called my name. Only there was no cruelty. There was no blame. Only love. Who knew it could be as cruel as the accusations?