Chapter Two:
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Silently, they sat, and silently, the waited. No words were needed because there were none that could make this any better. So, with arms around one another for support, the waited, because waiting was all they could do. They waited, ignoring all urges to burst through the doors to the emergency room to be with their petrified sick children, to jump over the counter and demand that they be told exactly what was happening, to take out their desperation on anyone or anything without consequence, because none of this was going to help their children. All they could do was wait in the eerie calm of the hospital hall, clinging to one another and praying that their children would be okay.
Waiting soon became worse than not knowing what was happening. Ziva had stood up and began to pace, wringing her hands into so many positions that Tony was sure she was dislocating several bones to do so. After a minute of watching her, he found that he, too, was wringing his hands in a similar way, at a loss of anything else to do. He stood up, and as he did she stopped her pacing. She wouldn't raise her eyes to his, but when he pulled her into his arms he knew that she was as helpless as he was because she didn't even try to put up a fight. Usually when she felt this helpless she would fight his help until she was ready to admit that she needed it. The only times she had done it without question was when she first escaped back to America, and when Rhia had been born with the cord still wrapped around her neck. Only then had Ziva sunk into his arms like she was doing now - no fighting, no resistance, just an unquenchable thirst for comfort.
He held her tightly in his arms, so close that he hoped they could draw strength from each other, but nothing seemed to work. No matter how tightly she threw her arms around him he didn't feel the pain fading. The only thing that made him feel a little hope in the middle of the empty hall was that Ziva wasn't pushing him away. But he still couldn't do anything. He could hold his wife and not complain about the fact that her arms were steadily preventing all blood flow to his upper body, but that didn't do any good for the two tiny people he should have been able to protect.
Shai and Rhia.
His children.
Their children.
He was their father.
He should have protected them.
Suddenly, Ziva ripped herself from his arms and marched away from him. He would have followed her but he knew exactly where she was going; back to the reception desk to demand to be told why she knew nothing about her children's condition. He collapsed back into the chair he'd been in before. How was this happening?
"DiNozzo."
And then there was someone else. Someone who wasn't Ziva. Gibbs. Gibbs was there. Right beside him, sitting in the chair that Ziva had vacated in favour of yelling at the nurses. Why was he there, though? Gibbs shouldn't be comforting him. That wasn't why Tony had called him. He'd called him because Ziva needed him. Of course, Tony would trust no other person on the entire planet to bring his bastard to justice, but it was mainly for Ziva's ease of mind. He should be with Ziva. Someone should be with Ziva.
"Ziva…" he mumbled, his voice coming out strained. He hadn't actually spoken since he'd had the small conversation with Ziva after hanging up the phone from Gibbs.
"Abby's with her," Gibbs told him simply. "Tell me how this happened. What do you know?"
It wasn't a question as much as order. Tony looked up at him, and if his boss was at all shocked to see the helplessness in his bleak eyes, he didn't show it. "That…that bastard has hurt my kids," he said, his voice so soft and yet, at the same time, filled with a rage that Gibbs had never heard from Tony before. Having finally admitted it, it began to sink in completely. He shut his eyes against the rush of emotion, clenching his fist until his knuckles showed white. "Our kids, boss…our son, our little girl…I don't know what I should do. They won't tell us what's going on."
Before Gibbs could answer, Ziva came marching back down the hall, Abby following her as best she could in her platform boots. Ziva went over to the door to the emergency room and Tony was up on his feet in a flash when he realised that she was planning on going though those doors. He put his hands on her upper arms, holding her in place where she stood.
"No, Ziva, no. We can't. We have to stay here."
"I need to go in there," she said, shaking her head.
"Ziva, you heard what they said-"
"Tony, let me go!" she said, struggling against his hold, but he only held her tighter, bringing her closer into his arms so that she was pressed against his chest.
"No, Ziva," he said, even though denying her the chance to be near her children when being separated from them was her greatest fear was hurting him as much as it was hurting her.
"I need to be in there," she repeated. "I need to be with my children."
"Ziva, you can't," he told her. "We can't."
She stopped struggling, her eyes remaining on the door that separated them from her children. Slowly, she turned, before collapsing against Tony and clinging to him tightly once again. With his arms already around her he just had to adjust his grip so that his arms were wrapped around her back. "What is taking them so long?" she demanded as she buried her face into his neck, fighting for a way to hide from everything.
"I don't know," he admitted weakly, as he, too, decided to hide for a moment. Lowering his head, he let out a deep sigh when his face was caressed by her dark hair, still smelling sweet from that morning's shower.
A door swung open, and all four occupants of the hall looked up sharply, Tony and Ziva still wrapped up in each other. However, they were disappointed when it was just an orderly who came through the doors. Before the doors shut, they were offered a tiny glimpse down the corridor and both parents strained their necks to try and see either of their children. They saw neither Shai nor Rhia, but gently heard the cry of a young boy, one who sounded so scared yet so weak. The doors shut again and Ziva returned her head to Tony's shoulder, letting a single frustrated sob.
"Shai," she whispered, even though her son could not hear her. "He is in there, Tony."
"I know," he whispered back, still staring at those closed doors. He'd never heard Shai cry like that before. Never.
"He is in there. He is scared and we cannot go to him," she rambled.
"Parents of Shai and Rhia DiNozzo?" a voice asked them.
They looked up, seeing the doctor now standing beside them. "Yes, we are here."
"I'm Dr. Michael Ashby," he introduced himself. "I'm the medic in charge of your children."
"Can I be with my children now?" Ziva asked hurriedly.
"I'm afraid that there is an urgent matter we need to discuss first," he told them, as he lead them down the hall and into a side room where the all took seats at a conference table.
"What's happening?" Tony asked. "Why aren't we allowed to see them?"
"Unfortunately, our initial suspicions were correct," Dr. Ashby told them gravely. "Your son and your daughter have both been administered with a toxin."
Ziva's face paled, and she held onto Tony's arm. "How did this happen?" Tony asked.
"Have the children come into contact with a powdered substance within the last twenty-four hours?" he asked them. "One that would have been ingested?"
"Wait, you mean this happened at home?" Tony asked incredulously. "Someone came into our home and laced their food with poison."
Ziva stared off into space. "The doughnut," she remembered.
Tony looked sharply at her, confused. "What doughnut?"
"You returned home for lunch yesterday," she reminded him. "I was at the park with Rhia. When we returned there was a doughnut left on the worktop, I assumed you had left it from your lunch. A powdered doughnut. Shai ate half of it before his dinner, and I let Rhia chew on a bit of it."
"What time was this?" the doctor asked her.
"Around three-thirty," she remembered. "I did not want Shai to eat all of it before dinner…oh my…" she realised, her face paling even more to the point where she looked like she might be sick. "I poisoned my own children."
"No, no, you didn't-" he rushed to defend her.
"I gave them the doughnut, Tony!" she exploded. "I gave it to them!"
"Mr and Mrs. DiNozzo," the doctor interrupted them. "This toxin is unlike one we've ever seen before, and we had to run three screens before it was even discovered. Shai and Rhia's condition is deteriorating rapidly, and unless we can learn more about this toxin and quickly, their bodies may not be able to cope with the effects."
"What does that mean?" Tony asked.
"Are you telling us that our children are going to die?" Ziva asked, her voice shaking.
Dr. Ashby paused for a second, but just long enough for the parents to understand how dire the situation actually was. "It's a possibility we're doing our very best to avoid," he said. "I have to go back now, but I can promise you that I'll personally update you regularly."
And then he was gone, just as quickly as he had appeared. Tony bought Ziva into his arms before she even had the chance to fight this time, and this time she didn't hold back her sobs. "They will come through this," Tony spoke into her ear, fighting back his own fears.
"You do not know that," she cried.
"Zi, they'll be fine."
"Children die all the time," she pointed out.
"I know," he nodded. "But I believe that Shai and Rhia will survive this."
"I am so sorry," she sobbed, clutching him tighter.
"For what?" he asked her.
"This is my fault."
He pulled her back, looking directly into her eyes. "Ziva. Don't."
She shook her head, tears still falling rapidly down her cheeks. "No, this was my fault," she repeated. "I am their mother, Tony, and I did not know that somebody had hurt them until now. I am a terrible mother," she cried, her face crumbling at her admission as she bought her hands up to cover her face.
Tony took her hands away, holding them in his own as he leaned forward to kiss her. It was rough, hardly passionate, but it was a tiny help to them both. When he pulled back, he stared into her eyes so that she could see his unshed tear. "Don't. EVER. Say that again" he told her, his voice dangerously fierce and almost a growl. Ziva was a wonderful mother; everything she had ever done since she knew she was pregnant with Shai had been for her children. She had never let her children down and he refused to let her believe that now.
"Do you really believe that they will be okay?" she asked him.
His face almost melted at her words. "How can you ask me something like that?"
She shook her head slowly. "Because I have not seen you look so afraid since Rhia was born."
He closed his eyes for a moment. Did he really look that bad? Rhia's birth had been traumatic for all, to say the least, especially with the fragile moments when the doctors had been fighting to keep her breathing. "Ziva, I-" he was interrupted when the doors to the emergency room opened once more and a nurse came over to them.
"Mr and Mrs DiNozzo?" she asked.
"Yes," Tony said, as Ziva was still too emotional to answer.
"Dr. Ashby has informed us to keep you up to speed on all developments in your children's condition," she said, almost as if she were reciting it from a textbook. She probably was, seeing as she barely looked old enough to be out of school.
"What's happening?" Tony asked.
"We're moving the children into separate rooms," she explained. "Your daughter will be in the NICU, which is the intensive care unit exclusively for babies and children under one year of age, and your son will be in the general ICU area."
"Intensive care," Tony breathed, his shuddering started to transfer onto Ziva. When had he started shaking? "That's bad, right?"
"At this stage, we're just taking every precaution necessary," the nurse assured them,
"If that is where they are, then we should be there too," Ziva said to Tony.
The nurse didn't look too pleased about this. "Ma'am, I can understand that you're very concerned right now…"
"Concerned?" Ziva repeated, absurdly curling the world. "Concerned? My children have been poisoned, more than likely by a serial killer who cannot be traced!"
"Be that as it may, ma'am, I don't have clearance to allow you into the ward yet," she said. "I can take you up to the family room, however, so that you can be closer to them."
"You do not understand, I must see my son," she said, slowly panning out her words. Then, she turned this insistence to Tony. "He hates doctors, Tony, you know this."
"I know," he said softly, his hand rubbing her shoulder.
"We cannot leave him alone like this, he will be terrified. He does not even know we are here!"
Tony closed his eyes again, trying to find some control in the situation but failing. "Come on," he said, using one arm to guide her after the nurse. "Let's go to this family room and see how things are up there," he said, knowing they could do little else. "At least we can be close to them."
How are you all liking it so far? I loved all the reviews for the first chapter, thank you so much everyone who reviewed :D It really brightened my days (and I've been ill the past few days so I mean seriously brightened). Honestly, I really hate to sound fussy with this, but it'd be really nice if the people who like this story enough to add it to their favourites and alert this could leave a review as well? Even if it's just a couple of words, I'd really appreciate it. Seriousy, it'd mean the world :)
Thanks,