Chapter Three: Right Beside You

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you, dear

Three hours later, and they were still no closer to finding out what was happening. Gibbs and Abby had come up to the family room with them, and then Ducky had arrived soon afterwards. McGee wanted to come, to be with 'the family' in what was clearly a time of need, but somebody had to lead the case in Gibbs' absence. It had been Gibbs, however, to brief Ducky on the situation at hand, as Tony and Ziva had sat together a couple of chairs down from them and had seemingly disappeared into a world of their own. As promised, the nurses and doctors, different every time, appeared to keep them updated on Shai and Rhia's conditions, but there was never any hopeful news.

Tony held Ziva against him. She had leaned her head onto his shoulder again, their hands entwined on their laps, as soon as they had been escorted to the family room inside the intensive care unit. The only time they would raise their hands from staring at the entwined hands was when someone walked into the room. It was the same every time, however: they would be told their update, a continued rise in fever and still vomiting and then the nurse would leave. Then, they would return to their own shared thoughts, blocking out the rest of the world.

Tony could remember with a shuddering vividness the terror that he'd felt when Rhia had been born. So small, so fragile…not crying, not breathing, not moving…it was like nothing else that he'd ever felt. The sight of his daughter coming into the world limp and blue was something he hadn't prepared himself for, even when the doctors had informed them that the cord had wrapped around her neck. Having been separated from Ziva at the time of Shai's birth, he could only imagine how scary it was to first have given birth completely alone, and now to be surrounded by help but with the thought that their daughter might not survive. For him, the fear had been so new to him that he was sure that he'd never feel anything like it again, but in the past few hours it had been all he'd been able to feel. Their children had been hurt in the place where they should never have come to any harm, and he was helpless to the nagging voice in the back of his head, the voice that told him the blatant and obvious truth.

Daddy wasn't there to save you.

Daddy might not be able to fix things this time.

Daddy didn't do what he promised to do.

Daddy didn't keep you safe.

Daddy failed.

Ducky was before them, breaking his thoughts, crouching on the ground to attract their attention. That can't have been easy on his aging bones, but he was still there. This was the man that had been there when they were falling apart, the man who had assured them first off that Shai was perfectly healthy, despite being deprived of healthcare in the first six months of life by Ziva's father. This was the man who kept them safe in his home during the hours when they feared that Ziva's father could still try and take them from each other. The same man who treated Shai like his own grandson, making sure that he went along to all Shai's doctors appointments because there was no other doctor he would trust. This was Ducky, who captivated their son's imagination with his stories - the man who had left work in the middle of an autopsy to come to their sides.

"I had been meaning to call last night, but I'm afraid it slipped my mind," he said, speaking softly. "How did young Shai do at his try-outs?"

Try-outs. School. Soccer try-outs.

Tony allowed a glimmer of a smile to cross his face. "He made the team," he said proudly.

Yes, Daddy might not have been there to keep them safe from a serial killer, but Daddy had been there when Shai scored his first even goal on his first real team. Tony's father had never been there when he played sports as a child, which is why he was determined to make it to every game that Shai ever played, and why he promised his baby daughter when she was two days old that whatever she wanted to do, be that dancing, music, or even sports like her brother, he'd be there to watch her as well.

For a moment, as Tony remembered the way that Shai had celebrated his first goal, how his five-year-old son's first instinct in his moment of glory was to turn his head and see whether or not his father had seen his goal, he forgot that his strong little boy was possibly hours away from death in a room they were not allowed to enter.

"Mr and Mrs DiNozzo?" a young nurse asked from the doorway. She wasn't as young as the first nurse who had spoken to them, but she seemed more experienced. Or at least, she didn't speak as though her words were memorised from her latest lecture on patient care and bedside manner.

"Can we see them?" Ziva asked, her voice quiet as if she couldn't bear to be told 'no' anymore.

The nurse nodded. "Yes."

-----------

They were taken to Rhia first. It was scary, terrifying even, to see their baby daughter in such a fragile state. Ziva was speechless, stopping in the doorway. She took one look at the numerous drips and monitors hooked up to her tiny girl and all the fighting she'd displayed in the hall hours before vanished from her completely. She stopped in her tracks, unable to take another step forward because the sight shook her so much.

"Don't be alarmed, Mrs DiNozzo," the nurse assured her. "All of this is to help her."

"Look at her," she simply murmured.

They stepped up to the side of the hospital crib, ignoring the equipment around her as best they could. Rhia was grizzling weakly, as if she both wanted and needed to cry but didn't have the energy anymore. Ziva instantly reached into the crib with both arms, but the nurse stopped her before she could touch her.

"I'm sorry, Mrs DiNozzo," she said sadly. "We can't risk any of the IV's becoming unhooked."

Ziva looked crestfallen. "I cannot hold her?"

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not. I'm sorry."

The nurse returned to where she was studying some of Rhia's notes at the other side of the room, and Ziva looked up at Tony. "I cannot hold her," she repeated, her voice a whisper of defeat.

"That doesn't mean we can't let her know that we're here," he pointed out. Ignoring both the pointed look that the nurse gave him, he took Ziva's hand in his, placing them both in the crib and touching them to Rhia's face. Ziva's hand remained on her cheek while Tony started to stroke her whisping dark hair. "Rhia…" he cooed gently. Sensing that somebody was there to hear her cries, Rhia cried harder. "Hey, butterfly," he said softly, using the nickname he'd used since she was born. "Mommy and daddy are here. Shh, it's okay."

Rhia's eyes pried themselves open, and it was obvious to them both know much of an effort this was to her, but she recognised the comforting presence of her parents. "Momma. Dada."

A watery smile appeared on Ziva's lips. Momma and Dada, the only words she spoke at the moment. She knew that Tony was desperately waiting for the moment when she said 'daddy' instead of 'dada'. She could remember how ecstatic he'd been when Shai had said it for the first time. She had stuck to her decision to have her children call her 'momma' rather than 'ima'. Although Israel was still her home country, she wanted her family's home country to be America. She wanted Shai and Rhia to see Israel, to see the beautiful country their mother had been able to appreciate for many years of her life, but she would not risk taking them there while her father was in such a position of power. The danger to them would be too great to risk it.

"Momma is here," she said gently. "Momma is right here, tateleh."

"Momma," Rhia cried.

Ziva knew that cry. The 'make it better' cry. The one that she knew she couldn't calm this time. "I am sorry, neshomeleh, I cannot hold you," she said, shaking her head. Rhia didn't understand this of course. She was so young, all that she knew was that she was hurting and she wanted a cuddle, but they weren't giving her that. She continued to cry when she realised that she wasn't going to get this cuddle no matter how much she reached for it, and that only broke their hearts more. "But I am right here," Ziva continued. "I am right here, Rhia."

A grizzling Rhia reached her hands out, taking hold of the hand Tony was stroking across her hair, holding it within her tiny fingers as if to bring him in closer to her. "Dada," she sobbed.

"Hey, butterfly. Daddy's here too," he mumbled. He could only watch helplessly as Rhia tugged weakly on his hand, and he changed the way his arm rested on the side of the crib so that he could stroke the top of her hand - one of the few comforts he could offer other than his voice. "Is Daddy's girl poorly?" Rhia understood this, and nodded against his hand. "You'll feel better soon, baby girl. I promise."

Ziva looked sharply at Tony. Could he promise that?

He caught her eye at her movement. "Ziva…"

She hurriedly looked back down at their daughter, who was now attempting to cover herself with Tony's arm. "It is not the first time we have not been allowed to hold her," she remembered, unable to shake the feeling of when they had whisked her away after her birth, and they had not been allowed to hold her through her first night in this world until the doctors were certain her breathing had stabilised.

"It doesn't make it any easier," he sighed, wishing that he could give into his fatherly instinct and lift Rhia out of the crib, taking her away from the doctors who were doing little more than scaring her at this point. As she pulled his hand against her again, he could feel how high her fever was rising.

"No," Ziva agreed. "If anything, it makes it worse."

-----

They had stayed with Rhia as long as they were allowed to, whispering gentle words until she had begun to fall asleep. Only then, when the fingers around her father's hand became limp, did the nurses take over and usher them from the room. It was only knowing that they were now allowed to see Shai that they let themselves be moved from their daughter's side. Of course, they had been desperate to see him too, but they would not hear their daughter's scream as she believed her parents were walking away from her, and decided to stay until she was calm enough for them to move on.

Seeing Shai was not reassuring to them, however. He was lying on his side in the bed, coughing hoarsely as though he had only just stopped vomiting seconds before they entered the room, right over the container that the nurse beside him held. Within seconds of noticing this, the hands that held him comfortably in position were replaced with his mother's. Ziva didn't hesitate in the doorway as she had done with Rhia, because she couldn't bare to see someone who didn't know how much Shai despised being sick attempting to comfort him.

"Mom," he croaked, when he realised who was holding him.

"Hush, tateleh, I am here," she told him, just as she had done with Rhia.

"Mom, it really hurts!" he complained, wrapping his arms rightly around his stomach.

"Where does it hurt, Shai?" she asked.

"Everywhere," he whined.

The two parents shared a worried look, and Tony sat down on the opposite side of the bed, facing the little boy who was curling into his mother's arms. "Shai?"

"Dad?" he asked, lifting his head to look for him.

Tony smoothed down the now-wild curls. That morning they'd been combed through until they shone, but now they were fluffed in every direction because of his movement, held in place by the sheen of sweat covering his entire body. "Hey, bud, I'm right here."

"I think I'm a bit sick, Dad," he said, instantly trying to make himself look braver for his father. Even now, Tony's presense ignited the change between 'hurting everywhere' and 'a bit sick'.

Tony smiled at his innocence. Shai had no idea what was happening, what someone had done to him…thankfully, while his imagination was wild and creative, he was confident that Shai could never imagine something like this. "I think so too, little man. Think we can get you better?" Shai coughed and nodded. "That's the spirit."

Shai just curled back against Ziva, who kissed the top of his head and stroked his back. "I wanna go home," he whined. "I don't like it here."

"I know, Shai," she nodded.

"I don't like doctors."

"They're just here to help you, Shai," Tony told him. "They're going to make you better."

"Can't you make me better at home like last time?" he asked.

Ziva looked at the ceiling for a moment, still struggling with the thought that this wasn't normal. This wasn't how children were supposed to be sick. They were supposed to get the sniffles and a bit of a cough, if anything. They weren't supposed to be like this. When she looked back down, she saw her son looking up at her with pleading eyes. Take me home, mom, he was asking. "Sometimes, moms and dads need a bit of help from doctors," she tried to explain to him.

"Is Ree-ree sick too?" he asked, using the nickname for his sister that no one else used.

"Shai…"

"Did I get her sick?"

"No, Shai," Tony told him, a strength in his voice that seemed to come from nowhere. "None of this was your fault."

"She was screaming lots," Shai told them. "I heard her."

They wanted to stay longer, to ask more, to find out more, just to be with their weak and sick son, but Dr. Ashby appeared in the doorway, holding the chart that presumably held the children's test results on. "May I speak to you both outside for a moment," he asked them.

Ziva leaned down to Shai, whispering in his ear. "We are just going to speak to the doctor, tei-yerinkeh. We will just be outside the door."

Shai nodded, and cuddled up on his other side. Tony and Ziva stepped out of the room, finding that Gibbs and the others were all still there. "How are they?" Ziva asked instantly. "Are they improving?"

"At the moment their condition is still critical," he told them. "If it is true that the doughnut was the source of the toxin and that neither of them ingested the entire source, then it means that they haven't consumed enough of the poison to kill them as quickly as your culprit has intended. Rhia has been most affected, even though she ingested the smallest amount, as her immune system hasn't fully developed yet. Shai has stopped vomiting for the moment, which seems to have him very pleased, but his fever hasn't gone down which is worrying. In all honesty, it's amazing that he's even conscious with a temperature this high and as far as we can tell, it's still rising steadily.

"But…he is awake," Ziva pointed out. "That is good, yes?"

"It's a deceptive," the doctor told them. "Not all things are that simple, especially when there is a toxin involved."

"It's definitely a toxin?" Tony asked.

"Yes."

"So, what happens now?" he asked. "How do we save them? How do we make this stop?"

"We need time," Dr. Ashby told them, "And more importantly, we need a vaccine."

"Is there a vaccine?" Ziva asked, turning between Gibbs and Tony.

"If this bastard hasn't made one he's certainly going to when I'm done with him," Gibbs growled as he came up to their side and addressing the doctor himself. "You said you needed time. How much?"

"As much as we can get."

"You don't know?!" Tony asked incredulously.

"We're doing all we can, sir-"

"All you can?" Tony repeated. "That's not good enough!"

"DiNozzo-"

"Tony-"

"No!" he cried, when both Gibbs and Ziva attempted to calm him. "No, it's not good enough. You're doctors. You're supposed to save people. You're supposed to save them!"

"That's what we're trying to do," Dr. Ashby assured him, before he turned and left.

When he was gone, Ziva silently wrapped her arms around Tony. He held her to him taking a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. "You holding up okay?" he asked her.

She shook her head against him. "They are just children."

"I know," he murmured.

"They do not deserve any of this."

"Ziva-"

"The doctors do not think they are going to survive," she whispered.

"They will," he said forcefully. "Shai and Rhia will survive this."

"They have to," she pleaded. "I do not know what I will do without them-"

"They're going to be fine," he urged, lifting her chin so that she was forced into looking at him. "In a week's time, everything will be back to normal. Shai will have another soccer game, and Rhia will get to wear that new dress you bought her. They'll be okay."

Ziva just looked at him as if he were clinically insane, shaking her head as tears started to gather once again. "You said that every other person who has been infected has died…and now…now, it is our children," she pointed out. "How are you not terrified?"

"I am," he revealed. "But I have hope."

She leaned against him, wrapping herself up in his arms and turning her head on his chest so that she could look through the window into Shai's room. He was now curled into a ball, fighting against painful stomach cramps that would no doubt signal more vomiting. "Our son…our daughter…" she whispered, so quietly that only Tony had heard her. "…all alone."

"We can't leave them both alone," he realised.

"We can swap between their rooms," she suggested. "Then they will know that we are both here for them."

"And they won't be alone," he nodded.

"No," she whispered. "Never."