01-11-10: I just realized that I've been through this chapter.. like experienced it.. well at least in the beginning parts.. Being hurt and then that person who hurt you comes back after a long time (in my case two years) and suddenly everything is all forgiven and you don't hurt anymore. But you don't wanna show it.. because if you did then all that pain would have been for nothing.. yeah.. Been there alright.

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You're Kinda, Sorta, Basically, Pretty Much, Always On My Mind.

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I Don't Own Inuyasha

"Talking"

19. Spiderheads and the New Moon

I closed the door tightly behind me, and let out a silent scream. Why was he here!? Now!? Today!? I could careless if he came here some other day!! But why did it have to be today!? I sat on the wooden floor and brought my knees to my chest. I didn't feel broken anymore.. as soon I had seen him.. the hole in my heart had disappeared.. It hadn't healed.. it was like it had never been there.

But.. I couldn't show it. I couldn't let them know I was happy to see him again. What would I be proving if I did?

"What are you proving now, not going back!?"

Meoga just didn't understand. If I went back now.. then all that would have been for nothing. That whole month of solitude and pain would have meant nothing.. If I went back.. then he wouldn't understand.. and things would go back to the way they were before. I had to get my point across first..

"Nazuna.. Could you please go prepare dinner for our guests." The old monk's voice drifted through the wooden doors.

"But.. okay.." The girl's footsteps faded away. She was going to the kitchens.. on the opposite side of the shrine. I looked at the bucket of water at my feet. That was were I was headed but in my hurry to run away I had gone into my room. I had to go to the kitchens.. but.. I didn't want to go back out there.. I was too much of a coward.

I gazed across my room. The window! I could just run across the rooftop and avoid them altogether!It's strange as to how I could say that so easily, like it was nothing to run across slanted roofs.. if I had been human then doing that would be out of the question...But of course I wasn't human anymore.

I slowly opened the window and leaped to the roof. The icy wind rushed past, sending shivers down my spine. My hair whirled around my body violently as the wind tried to force me to the ground. When had it gotten so cold? I don't remember it being this cold earlier.

I turned my gaze to the kitchen roof, then to the sacred grounds below. Meoga was down there. He must have lead them here. I took a running start and leaped down to them. I didn't stop. I held out my hand. "Meoga.." I said monotonously. Meoga was in my hand as soon as my feet touched the stone and I jumped up onto the kitchen roofs. It all had happened in half a second.

I leaped down through the kitchen door and placed the bucket off ice cold water on the floor by the fire place. The girl Nazuna looked at the water then back over into the black calderon full of chopped vegetables. "Thank you, Kaori." She said. I could hear her dislike for me in the tone of her voice but thought nothing of it. It didn't matter whether she liked me or not. She was a emotional human that I didn't know and right now I didn't want to know.

I slowly reopened the sliding doors and peeked outside. Empty. I sighed in relief and stumbled out to the sacred grounds. I lifted my hand to look at Meoga, and growled. He was trembling in fear...he knew he'd done something terribly wrong.

"Why.. H-hello Kaori-sama..?" He stuttered. I closed my hand into a fist and he gasped.

"Why is he here!?" I hissed. Meoga swallowed nervously and tiny beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.

"I.. I didn't lead him here, Kaori-sama.. That human girl did.. He came on his own.. I believe your scent was on her clothes.. you were the one to wash them weren't you?"

"Yes but that doesn't matter. I'm being used as a slave right now but at least I have somewhere to stay, but now since he's here I can't relax! Why didn't you lead him in another direction!!" I growled.

"He wouldn't listen to me-!"

"Oh don't give me that! You know you could have said I was on the other side of the world and he'd probably go there!" I snapped. I dropped him to the floor and walked away, upset with his lack of consideration toward my feelings.

"But.. Kaori-sama." Meoga squeaked. "It seems since Inuyasha-sama's arrival you've been expression your emotions. Which means you are becoming more like yourself again. If he hadn't arrived then you would still be-"

"Shut up Meoga.. You may be wise but you don't understand others."

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I slowly walked down the dark wooden corridor. The sun would disappear from the sky in another few minutes, but the trees that surrounded the shrine made the grounds darker then it was supposed to be. The spider heads were lurking somewhere out there. Watching and waiting until my barrier would weaken so they could attack.

But my barrier would never weaken. There was no reason for it to. I was safe.. protected inside this emotionless shell. The large stone walls absorbed the words from other people and didn't let the meanings effect me. I would be safe.. we would be safe.. until something came to knock down those walls. And something had come to knock down these walls.. but I wouldn't let him.

"Kaori.."

The voice startled me, and I froze. How long had he been following me? I slowly turned around and forced my gaze upon him. He was miserable.. his eyes told me so. He was suffering.. tormented by my very exsistance.. or was it because I was here?

I started to feel unconformable and guilty under his intense gaze. I was wrenched.. I had caused pain to the very person I had sworn not to. Why must I always go back on my promises? Why must I have to torture other people until I'm satisfied with their pain? Why must I be so selfish..?

We stood in silence.

"Dinner should be ready soon.." I said turning to walk away.

"Dinner's over." He replied. I stopped walking and stared at my feet. Of course I knew it was over.. I was just hoping he didn't know that. But then that was stupid wasn't it? He was the person who had dinner...I had missed it because of him. Such a stupid thing to say.. I was supposed to be broken.. unemotional, cold, and graceful. But my fumble had proven I wasn't as broken anymore as I had hoped.

I turned back around to face him. I had no other excuse to get away. His ignorance had been my last hope.. but he remembered things better then I did.

"Right.." I said, staring at the grain in the wood behind him. "I.. forgot."

"No you didn't. You just wanted an excuse to get away." He replied.

My cheeks burned. Why was it so easy for him to see through my lies? Why did he have to know me so well that he can figure out everything I mean and want to say and I can't even read his emotions? Why was his abilities and powers always overpowering mine? Why couldn't I win just once..?

"W.. Why are you here?" I asked, trying to push myself back into the emotionless shell.

"Why are you here?" He answered.

"That's none of your business." I replied turning to walk away again. But something else made me freeze in my place. A few feet away.. crawling toward me.. spiders.. larger then the youkai I had killed earlier...and with human heads...

My mouth went dry and my body turned to ice. They shouldn't be inside.. my barrier was still up.. I could feel it around the shrine. So then.. why were they inside? The only way for them to get inside was if...they had been inside since the very beginning.

The monk was someone suspicious.. same with the human girl.. maybe this had been a trap. But if it was.. then why didn't he have realized it sooner? I was to stupid to realize anything.. I was too trusting.. but he was suspicious of everything and everyone so.. how come he didn't know!?

"Shit! Kaori!" He pulled me behind him and pulled out Tetsusaiga. It didn't transform. "Damn it!"

Suddenly my feet remembered how to move. I jumped over the struggling hanyou, pulling out my own two katanas in the process. I crossed them until they made an X and blocked the attacks from the gigantic spiders. I wasn't sure how to fight these things. I didn't need to fight them.. not now. Something had changed Inuyasha that made the Tetsusiaga untransformeable.. his scent also was somehow different.. more human then usual. I couldn't fight the spiders recklessly like I would have if it were any other time.. I.. I had to protect Inuyasha.

"Kaori-sama!" Meoga shouted from my shoulder.

"What the hell do you want!? Can't you see I'm busy!?" I snapped, jumping back as I threw back more spiders.

"We must get out of here!" Meoga cried.

"Don't you think I already know that!?" I whipped around and grabbed Inuyasha's wrist without looking at him. I ran down the hall pulling them along with me until I caught scent of Shippo in one of the rooms. I slammed open the doors and locked it behind me, creating a tiny barrier on the inside. Nazuna was also in the room, looking terrified in the far right corner.

I fell to my knees and stared at the ground. "There.." I panted. "That should be good enough for now.. although I'm not sure how.. long I can hold up two..barriers.. at the.. same time."

"Damn it.." Inuyasha hissed from the shadows behind me. I glanced up, and gasped at the change. He.. was human. No silver hair.. no dog ears.. no claws, fangs.. golden eyes.. All were gone. Replacing them was raven hair.. beautiful silver eyes.. and human ears..

"What are you staring at!?" He snapped. I realized I had been gaping. I closed my mouth and pushed my back against the wall on the far side. So I wouldn't have to be close to him. My face was hot but I didn't understand my reaction to the change.. gaping wasn't something you do for nothing..

"Kaori!!" Shippo shouted jumping into my lap. "I've missed you soooooooo much! Why did you leave us!?" He cried.

I patted his head, and turned my gaze to him. "Not now. I'll tell you later but right now we have a bigger problem on our hands."

"What is it.." He turned around and gasped. "Inuyasha! What happened to you!? You're human!"

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know.." He muttered, glaring down at the kitsune. I knew what had happened. But I didn't quite understand for.. I barely understood my own transformation on the full moon..

"For Inuyasha-sama.. and other hanyou such as Kaori-sama." Meoga started leaping onto Inuyasha's shoulder. "There is a short period in which they lose the magical powers flowing through their blood in their bodies. Because that is when they are most vulnerable...hanyou's will never reveal that time to others. The time for Inuyasha is tonight.. on the first day of the month when the moon doesn't appear.. Kaori's time is on the full moon.. in the middle of the month."

"Why did you have to go and tell them!?" I shouted slapping Meoga off Inuyasha's shoulder.

"Kaori.. sama! You would never have told them yourself.." He whined.

"Well maybe I didn't want them to know.." I replied hitting my head on the wall. "Why'd yah have to go and ruin everything.. I can't even trust you so I don't tell you these things but you go out of your way to find out just so you can tell the world.. why can't you just shut up for once!!"

"Please forgive me Kaori-sama.." Meoga begged, jumping onto my shoulder. I turned my back to them and flicked Meoga off me.

"Shut up, I'm angry at you now." I said.. sulking in the corner.

"Now's not the time to be pouting in the corner, stupid!" Inuyasha shouted. I jumped to my feet and glared at him.

"Oh so what time is it!? Time for us to wait to die!? Time to have a party!? What!? What time is it Inuyasha because I don't know! I don't even know why I stayed here after seeing you here! I should have just left!" I shouted. Pain and betrayal flashed over his face. Damn it! I'd done it again...I'd taken out my anger on someone who didn't deserve it.. I opened my mouth to apologize but the sound of splintering wood stopped me.

The small room fell to pieces, and my small barrier was broken. Spider-heads crept towards us from all directions. Thick sticky webs fell from the trees above wrapping themselves around us. I kicked the webs and spiders away running across the room toward the human Inuyasha. Something cut into my flesh.

Something burned.. something warm and thick started to soak through my clothes as a evil yet familiar voice crackled in my ear.

"Stupid hanyou." It hissed. "So trusting. So easily manipulated. You didn't realize when you came that this temple was already infested with my brothers.. I let you make a barrier so you would think you were doing something right.. and proper. But you just helped along with the plan. To hold half the spider-heads inside to wait until the ones carrying the Shikon Shard to come.. then when they came.. I'd kill you off to break that barrier and let the full force of the spider-heads kill the travelers. But unfortunately it turned out you knew these travelers.. which made my job a bit harder. But since your friend here had lost his powers, things have turned to my advantage. Now that your barrier has been broken more of us shall appear shortly."

It was the monk's voice. That old.. suspicious monk. But he was right.. I was too trusting.. I was too stupid to have realized that I had been being tricked.. That.. that was why I would never make it on my own.. It was a surprise to me that I had managed to live on my own for a month.. but now it was all over..

The sharp thing pulled away from my body and I stumbled forward. It wasn't all over.. I had a injury like this when I was human and I lived.. I wouldn't die.. but the spiders would.. I'd win against these pathetic youkai.. then.. then maybe go back. I couldn't live on my own. Not.. anymore.

"Kaor-!" Inuyasha shouted. I looked up to see the spider-head monk, holding the black haired Inuyasha against the wall by his neck. The monks limbs and body had become a thick spider-web like thing. And we were all inside it.

"Kaori!" Shippo shouted running toward me.

"I.. It's okay Sh-shippo." I gasped, trying to ignore my pain. "I'm fine.. I've lived through worse remember?"

Inuyasha growled and I turned my gaze back to him. "So you're the bastard leading the spider-heads huh?"

"Heh Heh Heh." The monk chuckled. "I'd heard rumors of a hanyou who possessed the Shikon fragments. I've been waiting for you.."

"Keh!" Inuyasha scoffed. "Even without spiritual powers.. A dirty old geezer youkai like you.. I'll smash you apart using physical strength alone!" He ripped the hand that held him in place off him and sprinted toward the youkai.

"Pathetic fool!" The monk shouted, strands of web shooting from his mouth. The strands wrapped themselves around Inuyasha's human body, locking themselves in place. This all seemed like deja vu...

"Inuyasha!" I shouted jumping to my feet, and slashing throw the webs with my claws. Shippo followed my lead and, used his fox fire, setting the webs on fire. The monk growled and swung one of his thick limbs sending Shippo into the wall, and pushing me to the hard ground.

"Kaori!" Inuyasha shouted. I struggled against the limb but even for a small fry youkai he was strong. Also.. I was injured. The monk pulled the strands around Inuyasha's neck tighter, choking him.

"Heh. Lets see how your pathetic human body will hold up against my poison!" The monk's head shot forward and sunk his snake like fangs into Inuyasha's neck. I growled and snapped the limb that held me to the floor. My pain seemed to have vanished. I pulled out my Katanas and sliced through the webbing surrounding me and the smaller spider-heads that advanced toward Shippo and Nazuna. I had to make sure they were okay and safe before I deserted them for Inuyasha.

"Kaori! Inuyasha is..." Shippo shouted pointing to the sky. I looked up, almost having totally forgotten about him.. but also hoping that he has still okay. But as usual.. my judgment had been wrong. Inuyasha lay across one of the limbs, his body, legs and arms being held up by the silky strands of spider web. His silver eyes were open...but dull and lifeless.

My heart pounded in my chest as I assumed the worst. I jumped onto one of the limbs in the monks web like body, my vision slightly tinted by red hot anger. The monk chuckled and glanced proudly toward Inuyasha. "I had given him a full dose of my poison.. His body is slowly dissolving from the inside.."

A aggressive growled ripped from my throat and the monk chuckled again. "Want to become my bait as well!?" Webs shot from his mouth but I sliced through them easily with my claws, sprinting toward the youkai monk.. I was full of demonic anger.. hatred.. aggressiveness.. he's killed hi-

"K.. Ka.. ori.. "

I stopped, and whirled around. My breath caught in my throat as I saw Inuyasha staring down weakly at me. I almost cried out in relief. He.. He was alive. "I'm coming!" I called, the youkai monk being wiped from my mind. I leaped up until I was kneeling beside him, and pulled on the webbing around his body.

"Run.. Away.. " He whispered, staring past me. I felt my eyes watering slightly. He looked.. so.. weak.. so breakable.

"Stupid.." I answered, snapping a strand with my teeth. "Why.. Why would I do that!?"

"Idiot.. Listen to me!" He replied panicky, still staring blankly past me.

"I know I'm an idiot! But I can do this okay!? I'm stick of running! So shut up and let me-"

"Not that! Behind you..!" He shouted. I turned my head around and noticed the youkai monk's head inches from my ankle.. coming forward at a speedy pace. I jerked back, landing on top of Inuyasha. The web around his body broken and we were suddenly falling toward the floor.

"Hey.." He said, staring at me now. "We're falling."

"Don't inform me about the obvious!" I snapped. We hit the ground seconds later, landing with a loud thud.

"Kaori!" Nazuna shouted running toward us. She wasn't a suspect.. she didn't smell of the youkai's.. I could trust her. She helped me pull Inuyasha into my room nearby, only closing the door, seconds before the youkai's reached us. I created a barrier around the room, but it was weak. I was injured.. and tired.. I wouldn't be able to use my powers to the maximum.

"Kaori! Thrust Tetsusiaga into the door.. along with one of your Katanas!" Meoga ordered. Seeing no logic or sense in this demand.. I did it. I didn't have time to question his demands.. not now.. not when Inuyasha maybe moments away from death.

I fell to my knees and crawled over to be beside him. "Inuyasha.. Are you okay?"

He didn't answer. His eyes were closed.. he looked like he was sleeping.. or even.. I held his hand in mine. His hands were ice cold. His breathing sounded forced and shallow.. his heart was beating weakly inside him. He was dying. Tears welled up in my eyes.

I had been so mean.. So wretched toward him.. and now he was.. he might.. die. I wouldn't even have a chance.. to apologize.. He would die thinking I hated him.. feeling betrayed.. I would have caused him more pain then my sister had. I was supposed to be the one to stay by him forever no matter what.. not matter what happened or how much it bothered him.. I was supposed to stay, to protect him from further heartbreaks and such.. But I had failed.. and now he was going to die.. and it was all my fault.

End Of Chapter 19

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