A/N: Parody of an old Confucian fable, one that probably only I would know.
As Jiraya and Naruto traveled through the mountains, they happened upon a woman weeping at a graveyard.
"Hey, Pervy Sage," Naruto tugged at Jiraya's hair. "Shouldn't we go see what that woman's crying about?"
Jiraya shooed him off. "Naruto, I came here to train, not to comfort random chicks." Jiraya patted his hair. "And don't touch my hair. It's very sensitive."
Naruto scowled, and dragged Jiraya back to the woman.
"Hey, why are you crying?" He asked kindly.
The woman's eyes were all red and puffy. "My father, husband, and son have all been eaten by tigers," she sniffed.
Jiraya stroked his nonexistent goatee. "Well, why don't you just move?"
The woman sighed. "I don't move because this is the only place in the Land of Fire that those terrible Icha Icha Paradise books are not sold."
Naruto glared at Jiraya. "Remember this, Pervy sage: Tiger attacks are preferable over bad porn."
Jiraya sulked.