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P.S. A Review was written that had me hesitate to continue with this story. I just want to say that I am not screwed up, and my computer is just fine thank you. Second of all this is MY story, MY writing, My baby. Just because Fanfiction had a problem with uploading chapter 3 multiple times's- saying it was uploaded 8-1-2010 instead of 7-31-2010 does not mean I stole my own story. Thanks

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Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy...

Loving is Sacrificing

Chapter 3

Rose's POV

Staring at a blank wall for several hours can cause serious damage. My eyesight has become blurry and my taste buds feel like sandpaper. I was thirsty but the only way I was getting anything to drink was if I drank the toilet water. No. There was no way in hell I was going to drink nasty piss water. I have gone days without food or water, I'm sure I'll manage. I had gone through much worse in Spokane. The thought of Spokane made me touch my neck where my molnija marks were. Oh Mason, how I wish you were still here. I smiled at the image of Mason, burying himself in research and questioning everyone in the court; to find anything on the Queen's murder.

The Queen's murder.

The words ran up my nose and waltzed across my brain. How could someone murder her? There was no doubt in my mind that her death has caused frenzy among the Moroi. Someone had managed to kill their Queen; who was guarded by six Guardians, minimum. What does that make of their Guardians? Everyone will be playing their personal Trump card, or flat out dirty dealing, to get a hold of decent Guardians to protect their weak and defenseless asses. Therefore, killing more of my people. How many Guardians are going to have to be killed, for them to realize that we are becoming less and less? Before they know it, there are going to be no more Dhampir left to be Guardians; willing or otherwise. What were they going to then? Hide behind the servants? The thought alone humored me. I began laughing uncontrollably. The Guardians guarding my cell looked at me like I had gone crazy. Who knows, maybe I have.

One of the Guardians gave me a look that silenced me instantly. I started to say a smart remark when I stopped myself. The last thing I need is getting in trouble for arguing with a Guardian.

I began to realize just how much being in this cell has changed me. In only a couple of hours I had lost a bit of my sassiness. The rebellious Rose that everyone has grown accustomed to is slowing dying inside.

The love of my life admittedly told me his love for me has faded. Victor Dashkov was loose because of me. To top off the cake, I was accused of murdering Her Highness. If I had known that this would happen a year ago...well I sure as Hell wouldn't be in this damn situation. I've changed a lot in the last year. I've learn to control my temper a tiny bit, I'm a kick ass Guardian, one of my best friends was murdered; I fell in love and had my heart broken twice. Never saw all of that happening within a year's time span.

The Rose a year ago would have taken on this Guardian in a pissing contest and wouldn't have backed down from a fight.

But, here I am, being treated like I'm a freakin' terrorist and in the one place I would never thought I would have been. I have no clue how people don't see that I would risk my life for a rich, stuck up and spoiled royal Moroi.

Have I not proved myself? Seriously, I've killed more Strigoi before graduation than any other Novice. What do they want me to do? Banish Strigoi from the world? No matter how bad I wanted a Strigoi-free world, I knew it would never happen. I'm only one Dhampir; I can't rid the world of all danger. Not even the "Mighty Ol' Russian God" Dimitri could.

Dimitri.

His name sent a hot chill through my body and slowly it began to burn. His name, his face, his eyes, his after shave, his voice and his eyes; all began to slowly burn my heart to a crisp. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and forget everything that has happened. I wanted to be able to hug Dimitri and hold on forever; but I couldn't- his love for me had faded and he wanted nothing to do with me.

I could have sworn, when the Guardians had swarmed us- he had this fierce look that said he would continue fighting for me. Was it my Dimitri? The one I had fallen so passionately in love with. Had a spark of love surfaced when the sudden need to protect me overwhelmed him?

There were so many unanswered questions I had.

Someone cleared their throat, trying to obviously receive my attention.

"Ms. Hathaway you have a visitor." He said, motioning to the person standing next to him. I could not look at my guest for a moment.

They had dropped my Guardian title. Was I ever going to be able to get it back? I mentally slapped myself. I could only try to earn my title back if I was not executed.

"Rose?" My head shot up. The one person I had not expected stood before me- my own flesh and blood- Janine Hathaway.

"Mom? What are you doing here? How did you even know I was locked up?" I just sat there and stared at her, bewildered. I had only been here for a couple of hours. There was no way she could have gotten here so quick, but I knew how. It was obvious.

"Abe." We chorused together... She smirked at me. Did the Janine Hathaway just smirk at me? The daughter she had abandoned to fulfill her Guardian duties, the daughter that had embarrassed her countless times for being a disrespectful, quick minded and wild teenager. ..

"Rose, I think we need to have a talk; not only about your current situation but also your… relationship with Guardian Belikov."

"Mom, I don't think-"

"I am your mother no matter how much you wish I weren't. We are going to talk. Now." She interrupted.

"First of all, what in the world were you thinking? Getting involved with a Guardian, who is seven years older than you! Not to mention he is your mentor. You could have had his title stripped from him. Is that what you wanted? I honestly thought I'd raised you better than that."

I immediately tensed, my eye sight going red. How can she make feel pure hatred in all of ten seconds? And here I thought we had bonded over the last couple of months.

"Who the hell do you think you are coming in here, acting like you have always been here for me? Let alone raised me! If anyone raised me it was the Academy. For that matter, I am pretty sure they raised me better than you ever could! Look at me; I was the best Novice around! As for Dimitri; you can't help who you fall in love with. We were both well aware of the consequences if anyone had ever found out. So, we kept us a secret. I kept a huge secret from Lissa. Nobody knew about us. That is how we wanted it. We were going wait till after Graduation." She stood there, tensed, her knuckles tightly closed. I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. Sort of what Dimitri would do, when he realized he had lost control. Only, I do not have the kind of control he does. The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them.

"You know what? That night of the attack, we made love. We loved each other. That's what you do with the people you love." I heard a small gasp but I continued on. My hands flailing around to accentuate my words, my chest puffed out like a Chihuahua standing up to a Mastiff; I was flat out pissed and the world was going to hear it all from me right here and now.

"When you refused to go back in, when Dimitri faltered, my heart stopped beating. Do you know how hard it was for me not to run in after him? I have never loved someone so much that it hurt, seriously, physically hurt. Then to find out he was Strigoi...my whole world shattered right there."

"That's when I set off to hunt the man I loved. I traveled to the other side of the world for him. When I had finally found him, you know what he did? He kept me as his own personal blood- whore, but I forgave him! One night, when I had managed to escape I thought I had killed him when I staked him; he fell off the bridge and into the rushing current below us. But of course, Rose can never have the easy way out and failed. I failed him! That is when I came back to Lissa. I returned to classes, I acted as if nothing had happened. Until he sent me a note. A note that said, I had in fact lost in his battle. When I left the safety of the wards, he would be there, waiting for me." A sob escaped my chest as I continued, trails cascading down my cheeks but I wouldn't back down for them, her or anyone else.

"But, before I had returned, I heard of a way to save Strigoi; to turn them back. I went to Hell and back to save him." I skipped over the details of breaking Victor out of jail of course.

"Now, he is Dhampir again. Alive and healthy. With his big brown eyes, his long soft hair, his mouthwatering body-"

"Rose, I think that's all I need to know." She stared at me with guilt in her eyes... I then realized she too had small tear tracks racing down her cheeks.

"No. There's more I need to tell you. I have felt a lot of emotions since the attack, but the emotions I'm feeling now are too endearingly painful. Every pain, love, betrayal and heartache seems to have tripled. Oh, but don't worry Mother, Dimitri and I are through. His love has faded." The words came out in a growl. We sat there in silence before she spoke.

"Rose, I had no idea, but what you have done is still…unacceptable. However, I see your point and I now realize how much you love him. We'll continue this conversation later. I have a meeting with the other Guardians to discuss...what happened to the Queen." Her voice still held the formal yet firm tone, while her eyes had their own story going on. She turned and motioned towards the guards that she was ready to leave. I sat there and waited till she left, before I fully broke down.

Sad thing is after everything Dimitri has said and done to me...I still love him.

Always.

As promised this chapter was longer! I hope you enjoyed it! I have to admit my eyes kinda teared up while writing this :)
Please review they make me smile XD

Aroura xoxo.