Chapter 5

Tears, blood and revelations

For all that I love my computer, sometimes it can be a right uncooperative bitch.

"I'm never going to find him," I groaned as I clicked onto the next page of searches, "numbers fifty to seventy five of two thousand…"

I tried not to slam his head off the keyboard at the thought of having to review all the files I had just found. There were two thousand in this new search, and that was after I had narrowed the search ten times. The first number of possible leads I had found had made two thousand look horrifyingly insubstantial.

"No…no…no, no, no," my voice was sour and tired as I dismissed link after link, broke in to secure website after secure website, "this is hopeless."

Yet I wouldn't give up. I never give up. Not when it comes to my friends. I wouldn't give up…but that wasn't to say that it wasn't draining all my reserves of hope by looking. It seemed so hopeless, trying to find a man who did nothing better than hiding himself away. Ran knew best how not to be found, and he was showing me now just how good he was at what he did best.

As I flicked through another set of windows, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. As if I didn't have enough on my mind already ne? Yet I couldn't help it, I'm a worrier, that's what I do. That is why I let my mind stray to Ken as the screen flashed in front of me, let myself hope that he didn't do something stupid, like run out of petrol, or get into a fight, or not come home…

"Omi!" Yoji's familiar bawl crashed up the stairs, "You want anything to eat?"

"Not hungry," I called back, blinking at the screen to clear my head and try to focus.

"Yeah, yeah, I bet you're not. When's the last time you ate young man?" Yoji sounded too much like a mother not to make me smile.

"Alright," I decided arguing with the older man would be as fruitless as my search was seeming to be and so acquiesced, "I'll have what you're having."

"Sugoi! I get to choose! Well…uhh…not much here," Yoji's reply was accompanied by much rustling and other scavenging noises.

"I don't mind what it is!" I called back down with a grin, "just make sure you cook some extra for Ken-kun and Ran-kun."

It was out of my mouth before I even thought there was anything out of place about my request. The rustling from downstairs abruptly stopped. Then I realised what I had just said. My fingers froze on the keys, and it took a lot of effort just to get them moving again.

There was still no noise from the kitchen.

I tried to ignore it, and blinked when my eyes began to sting. There was no point in getting upset; there was no time for it. I hoped that Yoji would just ignore my slip, forget it as I was trying to do now.

Then I heard the thump of feet on the stairs, and I hoped that Yoji was just going to the bathroom. I didn't want to see him, didn't want to see the sympathy and the hurt in his eyes. So I tried to ignore the sound of footfalls moving gracefully along the corridor, ignore them as they walked into my room and stopped behind my chair. I tried to ignore the lump rising in my throat at the thought that Ran might never be coming home.

"Are you alright?" Yoji's voice was calm but compassionate, and it didn't help me retain my own calm.

He always knew when I needed help, always knew when I would be upset by something, need support; it was so…sweet. It made the lump in my throat double in size.

"I'm fine," I said back, not looking at him as I continued my search, "just…made a mistake."

"Omi, please, look at me," his voice was full of concern and kindness.

How could I refuse that? So I turned around and looked at him, quite confident that I could hide my inner hurt…until I saw his eyes; those deep jade coloured orbs that now sparkled with some unknown feeling. It was as I gazed into those eyes that I understood. The feeling there wasn't just sympathy, it was empathy. It was then that I knew it, knew that it wasn't just Ken and I that were concerned about Ran. It was Yoji too…and that hurt me and made me feel overwhelmingly glad all at once.

I flew into his arms without another seconds thought. He didn't seem surprised at my action, and his strong arms were quick to close around me as I let my tears fall in silence onto his shirt.

"It's alright," he said into my hair as he rubbed my back soothingly, "you don't need to hold anything back with me, you know that."

"I know," I sniffed, jut relishing the feeling of Yoji's shirt against my face, his warmth around me, his smell…"it's just…everything I guess."

"I know what you mean kid," Yoji sighed as he pulled away from me, tilting my chin up to look at my tear stained face, "but we can't let it get on top of us. We need to be strong, or we'll never survive this nightmare we've been dropped into."

"I know and I'm trying," I said sincerely, "but sometimes it feels like my strength is all I have left, and now…I feel so weak."

"Omi," Yoji smiled softly as he pulled me back into his comforting embrace, "what about hope? There's always hope."

"…Hope…" I tried not to cringe at the scepticism in my voice, "it's been a long time since I felt any hope."

"You want to borrow some of mine?" I could almost see the silly grin on the older man's face and I couldn't help but smile into his hug.

"You want it back after I'm done with it?" I replied jokingly, feeling my spirits lighten as Yoji laughed.

"Well, think of it as along term loan then," he said pulling away once more, ruffling my hair and laughing again when I scowled at the parental gesture, "I'm going to make dinner."

"Mhm," I nodded to him as he walked out the door, giving me a thumbs up before he left.

I sat back down at my computer, amazingly enough, even more determined than when I had started my search over three hours ago. God, I really did need him didn't I, need all of them. I know that I speak of them as my family, as my brothers…but they're so much more than that. I'm not sure how you can get closer than family, but the four of us, we have. It all happened after Aya-chan was killed by Esset, and suddenly it felt like the whole world was against just us. We are completely alone, no one to trust except each other and no one to rely upon except each other. It's enough to make a family…all part of one whole I guess. It's like we're one person split into four, we all make a single person. That's what Yoji told me once, after my accident in the fire.

"Hey Kid!"

Yoji's voice is an amazing thing. It can either be the most charming, loving, beautiful thing you have ever heard in your life…or it can be so annoying it makes you want to rip your hair out. Unfortunately, now was a hair ripping moment, and I really wished it wasn't.

"Please don't shout Yoji-kun," I said hoarsely, coughing on the words and bringing up some horrible black soot in the process.

"Oh, hey sorry," he offered more quietly as he stepped in the doorway to the emergency unit, "didn't mean to startle you."

"That's alright," I said wiping the black stuff away before he saw it; I would have shaken my head to reassure him if it didn't hurt so much.

"I brought you some flowers," he smiled prettily, pulling out a bunch of Freesia's from behind his back and stuffing them into my face.

Actually, that wasn't as annoying as it sounded as it gave me time to inhale the flowers unique scent deeply. He just grinned at me and put the flowers on the bedside table, sitting himself onto the chair by my bed.

"I'll get some water for them," he said, an apologetic look in his eye, "before I go."

"You have to go? I thought it was your turn to keep watch?" I asked, a little put out by the thought of Yoji leaving and Ran coming to keep me company.

"No, well yeah it is my turn, but old wonder Ran has decided that I have to look for a new place for us all to stay because I have contacts all over the city, yadda, yadda, yadda," Yoji made a bored hand gesture the familiarity of which made me smile.

He always seemed so carefree, so able to bounce back from anything. After Asuka…Neu, I seriously thought that Yoji would kill himself. He had seemed so broken, so empty. But then, just as he seemed about to give up, he just…bounced back. And everything went on as normal, or as normal as it could be. I often wanted to ask him what made him carry on, what gave him the strength to overcome such loss, but I never worked up the courage to do it.

"How's your side doing?" he asked, his face suddenly serious.

"It's not too bad," I lied, wincing as he stroked the bandages ever so lightly.

"Not too bad huh?" he said with a sad smile and a shake of his head, "I'm just glad that it's only your side and not your whole body, kid."

"It isn't, thanks to you," I said, locking his eyes with a sincere gaze.

"Yeah…well, you can't really thank me, it was Ken who noticed there was even a trap in the first place…" he began to babble modestly.

"Yoji," I smiled back at him, feeling my spirits lift just at the sight of him being, well…Yoji, "you ran into a burning building to save my life. I'll…never forget that."

"Gee Omi," he grinned, his eyes however holding a smile that was just for me, "you sure know how to compliment a guy."

"How…" I started confidently, but felt a lump rise in my throat as he looked at me expectantly with those deep green eyes.

"How what?" he frowned as I clammed up, "Omi?"

"…How do you go on?" I said in a small voice, looking down at the covers with sudden interest.

His eyes widened a little at the statement, but his shock soon turned to frown. I felt my anxiety rise at the thought that I had made him angry in any way. I just felt so…hopeless. I needed to understand that drive, I needed to know how he did it.

"Omi," he said, his face serious as he took my hand gently, "I do it for you."

My heart skipped a beat as he smiled.

"I do it for Ken, hell even Ran," he said laughing lightly, "we're family, we're four parts of a whole now. I couldn't just leave knowing that I would be leaving you all behind."

I just nodded to him, even smiled when he ruffled my hair, even though it usually annoyed me more than anything. I just kept on smiling at him. Even when Yoji kept talking, and my eyes began to drift together out of weariness and just that safe feeling that I get around Yoji that lets me sleep soundly, I kept smiling. I still smiled when I felt his hand on my forehead, brushing stray hair from my face. I still smiled when I felt Yoji move beside me and then a soft kiss was planted on my brow.

"Sweet dreams, Omi-kun," he whispered, and then I was asleep.

Yes, we were one whole, nothing without the others. And now one of the whole was missing…and I was going to find him.

I was just about to close the window I had opened when I noticed something strange about the wording. The harder I looked at it, the more I began to recognise the pattern in the wording.

"Code?" I frowned recognising it finally as the Esset code.

Dragging and copying the relevant words and passages into a new document. This was the best lead I had found so far, and I had almost missed it in being so careless. After about five minutes I had all the relevant information. I re-arranged it. I read it.

"Oh my god…"

My eyes widened at what it read.

"It's…"

I couldn't believe it. My had flew to my comm and I instinctively called Ken, my mouth still hanging open at the revelation that shone at me from the computer screen.

-------------------------------------------

-Where are you?-

My motorbike sounded tired as it rumbled underneath me, if that's even possible. I empathised with it. I felt like I was going to fall off the stupid thing and kill myself I was so tired.

-Where are you?-

I couldn't stop the silly, futile little question from running like a broken record in my head. I was chanting it like a mantra, almost like I believed that I might get a reply if I said it enough.

The streetlights had long since sputtered into life, their light casting a sickly white glow over everything. The moon was also out in full and showering everything in its own pale light. It made it hard to distinguish any colours; everything was the same dead bone white. I hated searching at night time.

-Where are you Ran?-

It was kind of pointless, me searching out here on my bike. I know how good our resident redhead is at hiding himself when he doesn't want to be found. Yet, at least I was doing something. Sitting in my room like a spare part while Omi searched for him had been mental torture. I couldn't have taken that much longer. Even if the chances of spotting him or anything useful were very slim, at least I was doing my part.

-Why did you go?-

Well at least my question was changing now. I was getting a little tired of the old one. Yet this one seemed just as futile, if not even more, than the other. I had no idea what had made Ran say those things and then storm out into the night. I mean, he could be a cold bastard at times, but he was never purposefully horrible or tactless. Calling Yoji a slut and Omi a whore was just not his style. There was something very wrong with this whole situation and it was getting to me. If there was something very wrong, I wanted to do something about it; I wanted Ran back so we could straighten it out. But of course he'd run off, like he always did.

-I'm never going to find you…-

Can't think like that, I just can't. Not after everything we've been through together, not after everything that I learned from him, about him, about me…

-I really need him, god I really need him.-

I couldn't live without him. None of us could.

-Where are you Ran?-

"Ken?" I jumped at the sound of a voice in my ear, thinking for one irrational moment that my thoughts had been heard and that Ran was really talking to me, "Ken do you copy?"

"Omi?" I said back into the little comm on my jacket; I must have slipped them on subconsciously before I set out to look for Ran, "What is it?"

"Ken, I need you to get back here right away, it's urgent, "his voice was crackly and static over the comm., but I was sure I heard shock and fear in Omi's voice as he spoke, "I've found a lead."

"I'll be right there," I said back, my heart racing at the very thought of a lead of any kind, especially at the thought of one that made Omi sound so scared.

With that I braked suddenly, spinning my bike around in a cloud of smoke as the tires squealed against the tarmac. I let everything else fall away from my mind, focused solely on getting home. I tuned out the cars, I tuned out the lights, and I tuned out the honking of horns and the angry shouts.

I tuned out so much that I even missed the dark figure watching me from the shadows as I ran a red light.

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I hate to cook because I'm not exactly what you would call a gourmet chef. I'm not really that good in the kitchen. In fact scratch that, I can't cook at all. I wasn't surprised that Omi had said he wasn't hungry when I had offered to get him something. He was probably doing himself a favour. But that didn't stop me cutting up the potatoes and onions into little cubes and chucking them into the frying pan.

He was so upset.

They started to sizzle as soon as they hit the pan, sputtering as the juices ran into the thick oil. I pushed them half heartedly around, watching with detached interest as they began to brown. Did I mention I hated cooking?

He cried onto my shirt like he'd lost someone.

I started on the beef next, cutting it into thin strips. As I hated to cook I only knew the most basic of recipes. Nikujaga [1] was my speciality, even if I did usually over cook it.

His eyes…they were so lost…he looked like he'd lost all hope.

The knife slipped as the vision of Omi's haunted eyes clouded my vision, cutting through my finger. I hissed and swore colourfully at the blooded knife, anger rising in me at the thought of everything.

………Ran's insults…………………………………………………………..................

………………………………Ken's fear.…………………the Koneko burning………. little Aya-chan's death………………………………….my Asuka…………………….

……….Omi's haunted eyes…

In a fit of rage that I couldn't contain, one that had been building within me since this nightmare had begun, I pulled back my arm and then threw the stupid knife into the wall with a cry. I scowled at it as it wobbled back and forward making an odd reverberating sound as it tried to still itself.

Then I noticed how out of control I was getting and tried to clam down. I had to calm down, I needed to be alert.

I stuck my injured finger in my mouth and with the other hand chucked the meat into the pan and then filled it with water. I chucked the soy sauce and sugar in haphazardly, not really caring how much of each I put in. The taste of blood in my mouth was bitter and I pulled my finger out to get a plaster on it. Putting a lid on the "dinner" I rummaged in the cupboard under the sink for the first aid kit. Finding it I chucked it onto the table and then threw myself into one of the chairs around it. I pulled out a plaster and opened it with my teeth, not really caring if it tore. It wrapped around the cut just nicely, stopping the sticky red liquid that flowed from it onto the tale top.

"I hate this," I muttered as I secured the little plaster on my finger, "I really hate this."

Omi of all people. I mean Omi, he was the centre of our group faith, our infinite font of hope and…and now he'd lost it all. He was having to rely on me of all people just to make it through one slip of the tongue. If that was how low Omi felt, how the hell were the rest of us supposed to cope? It had taken all I had not to just break down with him up in his room. It would have been so easy, so nice, just to let go and simply…feel. Simply feel all the grief and pain and let it take me over. I had never really done that before. The only time I can think of was the day I killed Asuka with my own hands. I had let go then, let myself feel, and it had almost killed me. Yet I hadn't let it take me, I had fought against it and won…but only for their sake. I had just enough compassion left to make myself care for someone else before I considered killing myself. And it was all thanks to him.

My wire slipped from my watch like a silk thread, weaving through the air towards the man holding out his gun. It wrapped around it effortlessly and I pulled it from his grasp before he could even fire a single shot. Not that I would have cared if he had.

-Just kill me, let me die, please.-

I had killed her. I had killed her with the very wire I was using now to kill more people. I was a killer and I didn't deserve to live.

"Yoji," Omi's voice had sounded over the comm, "the target is one floor up, third door right."

"Got it," I said back emotionlessly as I felt my victim struggle and flail on the other end of my wire.

Then the wire went loose and I let it slide back into my watch with detached fascination. I stepped over the man's lifeless corpse and headed up the stairs, not really caring whether or not I killed the target or not. Not really caring whether I lived through this mission or not.

That's why I didn't notice the man with the gun in the shadows, his eyes glinting with fear and desperation as he raised it and pointed towards my head. That's why I was taken completely by surprise when I was tackled to the ground and the resounding crack of a gun went off not two feet from where I had been standing. Then there was a scream and the gurgling noise of someone choking on blood. I looked up in surprise to see Aya looming over me, katana buried deep into the gunman who had almost killed me. I couldn't believe it.

"You should watch your back," he said with a scowl as he pulled his sword out of the man's body with a sickening scraping sound.

"Right," I said with a slow nod, taking the hand he held out to me and pulling myself up.

This was too weird. Aya…looking out for his team mates? Had he gone crazy or something? Then I remembered dimly, something about Ken telling me about a conversation he'd had with Aya in the flower shop about team work. I thought it quite amusing that he'd actually listened to Ken at all, yet also even more amazing that he'd taken his advice. He turned and started to walk away from me, going back to his own task. I just stared after him for a moment, still amazed by his change of heart.

"Go get the target Yoji," he turned and said a little impatiently when he noticed I was still standing there.

Then he was gone in a flutter of black and steel. It was then I decided, then that I changed my mind and resolved that I would do everything in my power to protect these people who would protect me.

I just turned and ran up the stairs. That was it! If Aya, iceberg of the Koneko no sumo ie, could get over his problem with team work then I'd be damned if I couldn't get over my own problems! Heck, he never even used to acknowledge me before and now he was saving my life? I needed to pull myself together; I needed to think about the others. I wasn't going to just give up, not when they would do this for me. Not when I could do the same for them. I needed something to fill the gaping hole Asuka had left in me…and Weiss were there to offer themselves for the job.

How could I refuse?

I smiled at the memory. The day Aya had saved my life…twice. If it hadn't been for his change of heart, I would surely have gotten myself killed that day or tried to kill myself if that failed. I listened contentedly to my meal/disaster bubbling away on the stove, trying to get that feeling of camaraderie back, that love. I did really miss him, oddly enough, and his weird behaviour before he left had just made me worry about him more than usual. Yet I shouldn't worry, he knew how to take care of himself.

I was just sitting there, smiling to myself and telling myself that it was never as bad as it seemed when Omi's voice shattered my thoughts.

"Yoji! Get up here!" he cried.

I started, but I was up the stairs as quickly as my legs would carry me, absently noting that I could hear Ken's motorbike pulling up savagely on the pavement out side. Omi had found a lead, that must be what it was. We were going to get Ran back. We were going to be whole again.

"Omi? What have you got..?" I trailed off as I ran into his room and saw the haunted look back in his eyes once more.

He just looked at me, fear in his eyes as I heard the door opening and Ken's heavy footfalls running through the hall and up the stairs. I didn't ask again, just waited for Ken to join us and ask Omi for himself. I didn't really want to know anymore, not if it made Omi look like that…

"You've got a lead?" Ken was slightly out of breath and his voice was desperate and demanding as he halted in the doorway.

"Y-yes," Omi stuttered as he looked into the brunette's burning eyes, "I think I know why he left anyway."

"Well tell us!" Ken said impatiently.

"Calm down," I told him, seeing the confused and raging emotions in Omi's bright blue eyes; turning to Omi I added, "Take your time kid."

He nodded, "Well, I found this Esset coded message in, well it doesn't matter where, but I found it, and…I…"

"What!?" Ken said frantically, not being able to contain his frustration at Omi's hesitation.

"It's…I found," Omi was shaking a little now, his face paling; I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "they said in the message "The ritual is complete, and He is retuned to us.""

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ken frowned, confusion momentarily clouding his anger; my mouth felt dry at what Omi was implying.

"It means…the rest of the message…it says that," he turned his eyes onto me and I froze, "Aya-chan…she's still alive."

I tried not to let my jaw drop to the floor. But before anyone could say anything there was a terrible cry from outside. Then the wall in front of us began to shake. I instinctively pulled Omi from his chair and, holding him to my chest, barrelled us both into Ken sending us into a heap in the hallway. I looked back up at the wall just in time to see the first crack appear.

Then it exploded in a rain of brick and light.

[1] Nikujaga – A Japanese dish of meat and potatoes. It's more delicious than it sounds, really, well I like it anyway!

An: Phew! That was a long one. Okay, so am I taking this too far or what? Hee hee, I just can't help myself! The first confrontation between Weiss and Aya up next, and more about Aya-chan's mysterious reappearance woOooOOooO! Errr, okay getting a bit carried away there ^-^. As always feedback is very welcome, please R&R! Oh, and thanks to everyone for reviewing! There will be angst, but I just haven't got there yet honest! I have a plan, really!