Disclaimer: Weiss aren't mine and Schwartz neither, yarrr!!

Key: denotes flashback

-Denotes thoughts-

Chapter 12

The bed

Ye god's but Brad could be a prick sometimes! I mean, what has it been, fifteen years? He's still like a brick wall with a stick up its ass…if that's even possible. Well, I think you get my drift anyway, he's a hard ass of the first degree.

"Stupid precogs," I smirked as I left the little room where Crawford and I had talked, "think they're so smart."

Sometimes, I really just wish that I knew what was going on in his head. Heh, I know what you're thinking, some telepath me, ne? Well, as you've probably guessed, it wasn't long after I met Brad Crawford that the rules for mind reading were laid down.

So, the coast was clear.

-Life is good, - was all I could think.

I crept through the hallway on silent feet, feeling like a ghost in my new house. At least I'd stayed here long enough to be able to find my way to my room drunk, or I might have been in very big trouble.

As I listened to the absent minded brain waves floating around the house I could hear Farferello asleep, for once, in his room one floor down. That little silent boy, Nagi his name was, was on his computer…again.

-Man what a nerd, - I admonished, shaking my head as I made my way to my room as quietly as possible.

And, yes, it was…all clear on the Crawford front, yeehaa!

All I needed to do was make it to the room, then everything would be fine. I could explain anything from that most sacred of places and, on some rare occasions, even deny entry to whomever was trying to barge in. Yet, of course, just when things are looking up something comes to trip you up and bring you down.

"Just where do you think you've been?"

-Damn, so close, - I cursed mentally, my hand left reaching out for my bedroom door handle forlornly.

I turned, lithely and in control which was surprising considering I had had quite a bit to drink, and looked at Brad as he stood in his big bright doorway. I knew what was coming; I could feel it in the air, the way the atmosphere itself seemed to crisp in anticipation. It was all tense and rigid, just like Brad as he stared at me from behind his glasses. He looked very calm, for a person about to kill someone. Damn him and his big bright doorways…

"Well," I said in a drunken state of complete unconcern for my own well being, "how about I let you smell my breath and you can guess which bar's I've been to?"

I think I skipped all our usual banter with that one statement, jumping straight to them part where he tries to kill me. I knew that because at that moment he took three long strides towards me and pinned me up against the wall with sober ease. I, however, in my drunken state was less graceful in my movements and my reaction time was somewhat slowed. Under normal circumstances I could have had easily just swerved out of his grip but this time I was caught like a butterfly on a pin.

"Hmm, so that's a no then is it?" I smirked lopsidedly as Brad's hands dug into my shoulders like two vices.

"How about you shut up and listen to me before I shut you up myself," it wasn't a question by any means.

I just nodded lazily, having to restrain myself a lot not to sigh and roll my eyes. This was getting very old, and I was never the patient type. I get bored easily; so bite me, I'm just not the type who appreciates getting roughly shoved up against walls weekly…well, apart from when it's for…but we won't go there! Anyway, I'm defiantly not one to be dominated and, for all intents and purposes, Brad Crawford was a dominator. We weren't exactly a match made in heaven.

"We are supposed to be staying inconspicuous while we establish ourselves as a group first of all," he said calmly and evenly, his eyes dark and shadowed and an unreadable expression on his face, "and then at least try and act like a group after that."

I couldn't help myself, I just had to say something…anything…just the smallest of…

"I am inconspicuous," I pouted, knowing that I was as inconspicuous in Japan, with my bright auburn hair and my height, as a wolf at a sheep only party.

Before I even knew what was happening there was a fist deep in my gut. I spluttered for air, my alcohol soaked brain trying to remember if I should be laughing or crying right now. Not that I ever cry, even when I get this drunk. Brad supported me as I coughed and hacked and tried to breathe, quite generous of him considering he'd just punched me in the stomach. I knew it had been coming; I didn't even have to have Brad's power to see that one a mile away. It was what I did every time, and then what he did every time…

"I thought you were going to shut up and listen?" I heard him saying in that same cool tone, "So do as I tell you before I kill you myself and save the people I'm protecting you from some trouble."

I think my brain wasn't stupid enough, even though it was resting in juices that were probably about 50% proof, to try another smart comeback. I just stood and listened to him tell me the same lecture he always told me, about blah blah blah blah…that's what it always turned into by the fifth word. I just stared with a glazed expression at him and nodded. It was then, for some unknown reason, that I seemed to notice Brad's unreadable expression as if for the first time. As I stared longer, the more it annoyed me. I wanted to know what he was thinking, like I always knew what everyone else was thinking. Brad was such an enigma sometimes…

-Maybe just a little peek…- I told myself as I suppressed a smirk and set my mind as best I could.

I tenaciously, as tenaciously as you can when blind drunk, probed at the outskirts of Brad's mind, hoping for some feedback. I thought that he wouldn't notice because I was being so careful, but no. Well, he is the damn Oracle after all! He probably knew I was going to do it before I did myself…annoyingly. That was why, when I probed just that little bit deeper, I very quickly found a gun under my chin. The cold hard metal digging into my jaw was more than enough to sober me up, like one hundred cups of coffee in one shot. I stopped everything, suddenly very aware of the almost coldly blank look on Brad's face. It was suddenly more scary than interesting, the fact that he looked every bit the ruthless killer, mostly because of the fact that he had a gun to my head.

"Never," his voice was like an ice cube down my spine, "go into my mind. Do you hear me?"

I just nodded slightly, not wanting to set off the trigger by mistake. I could have sworn though, even though I was actually scared that he was going to shoot me for a moment, that all I felt like doing was laughing. I really had to suppress that extremely drunken urge and I'm glad I did. I probably would have had my brains splattered all over the wall if I had done. He let me go then, taking the gun from under my chin and putting it back in its holster. I just slumped back against the wall, waiting for him to go away so I could laugh. He closed his door, I went into my room. It was a countdown to explosion, five, four, three, two, one…

I can still remember Crawford coming through and taking pot shots at me that night when I started laughing my head off. Man, I was so drunk, drunk enough to challenge even Crawford's temper, cool as it might be at times. I think I'm one of the only people in the world who really gets on his nerves, inadvertently at times. I mean, don't get me wrong, we work great together but at times…well, let's just say I still have the scar from that night.

I walked into the room I would be calling home, hopefully not for very far into the foreseeable future, and had only one thing to say to its occupant.

"Get off the bed Kudo," I was really in no mood, happy as I had been, to be sleeping on the floor.

"Kiss my ass Mastermind," came the sleepy reply from the darkness.

"Right," I said, my hands on my hips, "for starters no more of this "Mastermind", "Oracle" shit, alright? I do have a name and it does sound less like a late night game show."

"Not much," he mumbled back at me.

"Would you like a migraine for the rest of the time we're acquaintances?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Silence was my answer.

There was a gap in the curtains letting in a little pre-dawn light which fell handily on the bed. I could make out the line of Kudo's body, laying on his side with his head in the pillow so that only his hair was visible. He looked very comfortable, despite his head wound which had been hastily patched up by Bombay, and I really just wanted to be as comfortable as he was. That wasn't going to happen on the floor though, so there was only one solution.

"I mean it Kudo, off the bed now," I said, pointing to the floor with emphasis.

"Yeah right, like that's going to work," I could hear the smirk in his voice, and I was in no mood…

-Oh god, I almost thought "in no mood to deal with you tonight Kudo"! Crawford is so rubbing off on me…-

I snorted a laugh at the thought of myself turning into Brad Crawford, my hair all short, those big glasses dominating my head and that constantly ass-stick expression on my face. Well, I had to laugh, you would too believe me. Kudo just groaned however and rolled onto his side, obviously disturbed by the fact that I was laughing at all. I just shrugged, suddenly too tired and in too good a mood to care about the fact that Balinese was one of my worst enemies, tugging off my green overcoat and dropping it onto a nearby chair. I walked over to the curtains and pulled them, more out of habit than actual need. I heard Kudo rustle again on the bed, now enshrouded in darkness and guessed that he was looking at me.

"You have some sort of problem?" I asked.

"Yeah," he muttered, "you're still here."

"Well, better get used to it cause I'm not going anywhere," I said stretching, pulling my arms up far over my head, "and I don't really care what you think."

"Well, at least some things haven't changed, "I heard him sigh as he rustled back down into a more comfortable position.

He didn't even react when I sat down on the side of the bed and started unlacing my boots; well, he didn't react much anyway, he could very well have been giving me a glare of death and I wouldn't have known. I just continued to get comfortable, pulling off my socks and unbuttoning my shirt a little before lying down on the bed next to Kudo. He muttered something into his pillow before shifting even further away from me. I sniggered into the darkness, amused by his discomfort.

-I know I'm supposed to be a good boy now we've teamed up with Weiss, but…- I thought to myself.

"No aggravation Schuldich, this is teamwork remember?"

Brad's words echoed in my mind as I continued to snigger and it wasn't long until they were permanently erased.

I shuffled over, feigning discomfort as I writhed around on the bed for a better position, until I was laying right alongside Kudo once more. I felt him stiffen beside me, heard him faintly wondering if I was asleep or not before moving once more away from my still form. I smiled at this, knowing now that the chase was on. I moved again, rustling and yawning and tossing and turning until I had myself facing Kudo I the darkness. I smirked evilly as I lifted my arm, trying my hardest not to laugh as I draped it sleepily over Kudo's waist.

Now that got a reaction.

Suddenly the world became very bright ad I shut my eyes quickly so as to feign sleep. I felt Kudo's eyes on me, his feelings seeping out through his mind in his turmoil; anger mixed with slight confusion mixed with tiredness mixed with really not caring as much as he should.

-Hmmm, that's interesting, is he..? –I started to think but was cut off mid contemplation as the light was quickly shut off.

I couldn't believe this, was he actually…no, he wouldn't let me sleep on him like this…right? I would never let anyone sleep on me like this if I knew they might try and kill me in the middle of the night.

-That head injury must really have fucked with his mind if he's doing weird things like this, - was all I could think, -unless, of course he has some sort of evil plan up his sleeve…-

Yet no, there was nothing there when I checked quickly and stealthily through his mind. Very odd, very odd indeed. Yet, just as I was pondering the many implications this small deed prompted, Kudo shuffled again and my arm flopped to the mattress dejectedly.

-Damn, - I thought, -just as things were getting interesting.-

Well I had to move then didn't I, it was a direct challenge! I rolled right over spreading out my legs just for extra annoyance. Oh this was too much fun! I started thinking that I should have tried teaming up with Weiss long ago even if it was just for the fun annoyance factor. I heard Kudo give out a low groan/growl as I started to "snore". I think that might have been the last straw then, either that or he's just run out of bed to move along, because the light came on again. The backs of my eyelids were red with the light and it wasn't really helping my comfort factor. I just groaned, as if waking from sleep and fluttered open my eyes drearily. Oh but I loved this…

"What's your problem Kudo, can't a guy get some sleep around here without having to put up with the fact you're scared of the dark?" I asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

"I am not scared of the dark you bakayaro," he snorted and narrowed his eyes as he spoke, "but I was about to ask you the same question. Quit touching me or I'll have to tie your hands to the bed..."

"Really Kudo," I said in mock disbelief , "I mean we've only just met…"

"…with my wire," he concluded darkly, his eyes glittering in the lamplight.

"Hmm, you're no fun," I shrugged as I settled back down, pulling the covers over my body and preparing for sleep.

"Ditto," I heard him say as the light was once more clicked off, "and don't think for one second that I'm happy about this in any way thinkable."

"Oh don't worry Balinese," I smirked, "who said that I thought you were happy? I know what you're really thinking."

"God dammit, stay out of my mind before I garrotte you!" he growled faintly, on the verge of sleep.

"Yeah, yeah whatever," I shrugged, snuggling down into the covers, "and just for the record, I'm not happy about this either."

"Could have fooled me," the blonde grumped.

"Yes well, it seems I did quite a good job, ne?" I smiled, "But in truth, I would kill you in a second if Crawford wouldn't gut me for it."

"Oh really?" Kudo yawned loudly, "Well that would only be if I didn't strangle you first, smartass."

"Ah, but I don't even have to move to kill you," I explained like I was in first year at high school, stooping to one-up-man-ship to get him to shut up.

"Hai, but not when you're sleeping," he said with a soft snigger.

"One more word," I growled, suddenly very impatient with this stupid game, "and you're dead. Get it?"

There was a silence then, a dangerous one where I could have sworn I felt my mind begin to boil with the anticipation of being able to wreak some real havoc on an enemies psyche. I really would have done something nasty I think, if he had said another word. The good mood I had been in had slowly worn off over the time it took to have our delightful little conversation. Now I was just ready to kill something for ruining it. Then, in the silence, just as I thought he was going to say something, a loud snore reverberated throughout the room. I just groaned, wondering absently if the fact that he was snoring gave me the right to enact my threat. Instead I just groaned and turned over, covering my ears with a pillow and thinking happy thoughts.

-Kudo with a knife through his gut and a noose round his neck and laser beams coming out of his eyes and his head on fire and his sinus's pulled out so he can't snore any more and…-

And on these delightful thoughts I fell into a deep dark sleep.

AN: Not sure what this chapter is supposed to do, but I had the idea and had to write it. I just thought to myself, hmmm, there is no way Schu would ever take the floor, but then neither would Yoji. So, this chapter explains it all! Hopefully…anyhoo! Please R&R, feedback welcome! Also thanks to HeatherR and Murasaki-yanagi for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it! Wow, someone actually sympathising with Schwartz! I must be doing a good job of making them seem human, at least I hope so!

Ro x