I'd Come For You
Authors note: I do not own the X-files.
Summary: Scully has decided to leave the X-files. Mulder has been at loss for the last year.
Special Agent Fox Mulder stared into the darkness. Letting it overcome him. Dragging him deeper into his own despair. Pulling him past the point of no return. Images of her face swirled in his mind. No matter what he did he couldn't escape her. Ever since she left, she was all he could think about. For the longest time he thought the only picture in his mind would be that of his sister, but now its her. Her blue eyes piercing through him, the curve of her lips speaking his name. The fire red of her hair falling against her porcelain face. He could feel his body tensing up, the tears screaming for release. He pushed it back, not letting himself be honest.
She let the darkness invade her mind, let it wash out everything. She wanted nothing, she didn't want to feel the pain. She didn't want to see his face in her dreams anymore. She closed her mind to anything that reminded her of him. She wanted to stare into his soft brown eyes and run her fingers through his thick brown hair, feel the heat from his body as he stood over her, like her own protector. Her eyes drifted towards the bedside table, she felt as though it was calling to her. Forcing her self to stay she closed her eyes and thought of nothing,
1 year earlier…
"Mulder I have to go, you have to let me go."
"I can't."
Scully looked into his eyes, she could feel the passion, the yearn within his soul. She kissed his forehead.
"I have to go."
Mulder just looked at her, "Why?"
"I can't do this. We put each other in more danger then we should, just by feeling the way we do. They have used us to get to each other. It's crazy, but your love with stay with me, and it hurts me because I don't want to fight this, but one of us has to walk away before its too late."
"If you leave they win."
"If I stay we lose."
"Where will you go?"
"I don't know yet, somewhere far away."
Mulder pulled her into his arms, "Know this, you are my world, I will never go a day with out thinking of you."
Scully could feel the tears falling, "I know. But this is for the best. At least for now."
She pushed away from him, looking down at the floor, "I love you." before he could say anything she was gone.
He couldn't move, everything inside of him was screaming. Part of him wanted to run after her, beg her to stay, the other knew that he had to let her go. One of them would end up dead, and the other would die of guilt. She was right, but he wouldn't admit it to any one. He went home and sat on his couch, not bothering to turn on the TV or anything. Everything seemed to be running in slow motion. The ticking of the clock, the rhythmic pumping of his broken heart. Soon night crept in and he stood and moved to the window, looking up at the stars. He closed his eyes. "Come back to me soon." Somewhere deep in his heart he wanted the message to travel through the stars and find her. For her to see a shooting star and just know that it was a message from him. He snickered at the thought and moved back to the couch.
The days passed and soon months went by with no word. He wanted to look her up, use the FBI to track her but he knew he couldn't. If she wanted him to know where she was, she would tell him.
5 months had passed. The days went by slow, his heart wasn't the same. The X-files didn't seem as important with out her there trying to debunk him and make him sound like a fool. The nights seemed endless. He couldn't call her in the middle of the night about a case. He couldn't show up to her apartment at the crack of dawn and talk her into to going on some goose chase. Everything that he had grown accustomed to was gone. He felt like his world had been flipped upside down, broken.
She loved the stars. She could stare at them forever. It had been 5 months and her life was not working out the way she had planned. She was working for a hospital, she had a small little house, she was content. She was not happy.
"Just write him one letter. See what happens, he deserves to hear from you." She pulled herself up from her chair and made her way to her study. Flipping on the light she pulled out paper and began to write…
"Mulder,
I am not sure how to begin, I miss you. Life is so much more different. I had almost forgotten what sleeping through the night feels like. I am not sure if I like it. Too much dreaming. I dream mostly about you. I hope you are doing well, I really mean it. After I left I thought so many times about running back to you, throwing the rules out the window, being with you. But every time I thought of it, I thought of the consequences. If they took you away from me, I am not sure how I would cope. At least this way you are safe. They cant use me against you. I miss you so much, my mother does too,. She thinks I am crazy for leaving. Skinner says that you are different too. I am working as a Doctor in a small town, I have my own home! No monsters at night, nothing. Silence. Sometimes I think the silence is more frightening then the monsters. I chase them in my dreams, when I am not dreaming of you.
Have you had any contact with that cigarette smoking asshole since I have been gone? I hope not. I thought about killing him, many times. I miss you…That seems to come out a lot. Things are not the same, but they will do. I almost feel as if were in some twisted Romeo and Juliet story. I'm here. Always
Love Dana"
That letter tore him apart. He kept reading and reading it, torturing himself over and over again. He hated himself for pulling her into his crusade. It wasn't fair to her. A promising young woman pulled into the chaos of aliens and monsters. He corrupted her, he thought about it over and over again. He pulled out a paper and wrote her back.
"Romeo had it easy, he didn't have to fight off conspiracy theory's and crazy government men. I miss you too. I replay the last 6 years over and over again. I remember the look in your eyes, before we said our goodbyes. I don't know what to do, I can't go on, not loving you. I need you so bad. I keep telling myself that you were right to leave. I remember the day you left, you took your last breath right in front of me and I let you go and didn't do anything. I miss you, its all I can think about, you haunt my dreams. Your always there. It makes me want to reach out to you and pull you back. Sometimes I try not to sleep, try to keep my eyes open, away from your face. It breaks me. The X-files are not the same with out you. People look at me even more crazy now. Skinner hasn't approved many cases, I think he thinks one will hit too close to home and I will break. I think he is right. Its not the same. I only dream of you, no monsters. The silence runs my life too. I swear I can hear your voice in the wind.
I am going to say this once, tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again, even while your gone, You're the one, no one else can ever replace you Scully. Your fingers were fated to entwine in mine, and I want you to know I'd come for you, only if you told me too. We will take those shadow men by the horns and we will win. Its time to be honest, I can't believe I let you go, forgive me. Everyday I spent away from you my soul it pulled inside out. I would fight for you, give my life for you. What we are doing to one another is worse than what anyone else could do to us. I'd come for you, always.
Those words bore into her soul like flames. She needed him, he needed her. Forcing herself away from him was only making it worse. They were meant to be, meant to stand together. The tears forced them selves out. She knew what she had to do to. Whatever it takes, she would go back, stand next to him until her dying breath.
He hadn't received anymore letters, it had been 7 months, a year since she had gone. If she wanted to be with him, she would have responded to his letter. But nothing. He waited for days and days and realized he would never get that letter. She didn't need him like her needed her, she didn't want him like he wanted her.
His desk was cluttered, he hadn't cleaned it since she gone, she always organized it for him, she was the reason he managed to function over the past few years. He decided he needed to forget, let her live her life, he would live his. He began to organize his desk. He flipped the small radio on next to his desk and got to work. He put files in one pile, trash in one, important documents and receipts in one. Slowly things started looking better. He was sifting through old post-it notes when he came across one in Scully's handwriting,
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
He read it over and over again. The only moments he had worth remembering were the ones with her. The way he felt when she returned from her abduction, they way he felt when she broke down for the first time after Donnie, the electricity that flowed through him when he places his hand on her back. The nights that she would come over and they would fall asleep watching old movies…they had so many memories, not always good, but they always seemed to lure him to her more and more. He loved when she really smiled, some days all she had to do was smile and everything would seem to fall into place. He sighed and turned his computer on, clicked on the search button and typed in DANA KATHERINE SCULLY and hit enter.
"Dr Scully?"
Dana Scully turned around and looked at the nurse standing in her office. "Yes, Amanda?"
"There is a man here to see you."
Scully gave her a quizzical look. "what's his name?"
"He wouldn't say. But he did say tell her, their grey, not green."
Scully looked at the nurse for a few seconds, and as those words clicked into place everything seemed to blur. She could feel her heart going into overdrive. Her body was screaming. Tears seemed to leak out.
It took her a few moments to pull herself together. "Where is he?"
"He is in the locker room."
She nodded and made her way down the hall.
When she reached the door she took deep breath and pushed in the door.
Time seemed to slow down as he turned towards her. His scent made it to her first, she inhaled deeply. Her eyes focused on his. She took a step towards him, reaching out her hand. She was afraid it was a dream, that he would disappear if she blinked. His hand reached out and met hers. Electricity exploded between the too. He pulled her into him, she clung to him. No words were spoken, they weren't needed. Time stood still, no longer in slow motion. This was real. She could feel him.
"I had to come."
She looked up at him, "I didn't think you would."
"All you had to do was ask."
She buried her face in his jacket, "I did, once. But you never responded."
"What?"
"I sent you another letter, telling you to come when you couldn't stand the pain any longer, and I never heard from you."
"I never got it."
She looked back up at him, "forgive me, I didn't want to hurt you."
Mulder just looked into her eyes, "I am here, always, forever. Nothing will change that. Nothing."
She smiled and held him tight. "I know you will never leave me. Cause you were made for me. I can't live this life without you by my side, I need you to survive."
THE END.
Ok, now for all you music freaks out there, I need to make sure I credit the right songs that were used in this story and helped inspire it. Plus I don't want to get sued.
Music Credits:
Nickelback-I'd Come for You
Christina Aguilera-You Lost Me
Evanescence-Forgive Me
Grace Potter-Apologies
Justin Timberlake-Cry Me A River
Muse-Neutron Star Collision
Nelly Featuring Tim McGraw-Over and Over
Sixx AM- Girl With The Golden Eyes
The Pretty Reckless-You
Some of these songs I used some of the actual lyrics and some songs just helped to set the mood of the story. And of course Nickelback I'd Come for You was the biggest inspiration to the story.
Hope everyone one enjoyed it, my bf almost ruined my flow cause he wanted me to make dinner….psht, this is more important! 3